Break Camp and Advance!

HikeGod’s word for today: “You have stayed at this mountain long enough. It is time to break camp and move on. Go to the hill country … Look, I am giving all this land to you! Go in and occupy it, for it is the land the Lord swore to give to your ancestors Abraham, Isaac, and Jacob, and to all their descendants (Deut.1:6-8).”

Breaking it down:

  • Moses and Israel had been in a certain state and stage of their journey long enough.
  • It was now time to move on – to move forward. It was time to change. God was calling them to live in another place. He wanted them to move, which involved pulling up the stakes of their tents and packing their bags. It was a call to re-location. They had to leave where they were.
  • God was calling them higher – from the base of a mountain to the hill country. It was time to move out of the valleys of despair and to see things from God’s perspective. He would give them wisdom and insight.
  • This journey was not going to be easy but would involve some ‘great and terrifying wilderness’ areas (1:18).
  • There were many promises given to them and their ancestors that were yet to be fulfilled. There was more! They had not arrived nor experienced all that God had in store for them.
  • There was a spiritual warfare dimension to God’s promises. God gave things to them but they had to go in and occupy them, driving out the enemies and squatters living there.
  • “Look! He has placed the land in front of you. Go and occupy it as the Lord, the God of your ancestors, has promised you. Don’t be afraid! Don’t be discouraged (vs.21)!” Fear and discouragement were their two greatest enemies. They were not to allow them to overtake or defeat them.  

How relevant is this for you and me today?

In many ways, we each stand on a piece of land, which represents our inheritance in Christ. Yet in all four directions there are giants seeking to keep us 'contained' where we are. Often, they are the enemies of fear, discouragement, apathy and unbelief. These are sent to cause us to stay put and to not advance into the territory that God has for us. Yet, God iscalling us to confront them and push them back.

Kadesh-Barnea became a critical intersection for the Israelites. Unfortunately, they missed their opportunity and their day of visitation. Through fear and discouragement, they chose not to trust in God and, as a result, missed out on entering the promised land. What a sad an tragic story this is.

Father, in many ways, many of us are at an important crossroads in our life’s journey. You are calling us higher – to move out and enter the promises you have for us. This is a strategic time. We must rise up in  faith and obedience. We must not miss our own day of visitation. You are our Father and you are with us. You are leading us and providing us with everything we need, including your presence and your power. Many have been through an extended wilderness time. It has been tough but you are always with us. Better days are ahead. Your promises are true. You are a good God and you will show yourself strong on our behalf. Amen. 

The Baptism of the Holy Spirit

Baptims hsJohn the Baptist predicted that Jesus would be the “baptiser in the Holy Spirit” (Mt.3:11). Jesus himself promised his disciples that although he was going away, he would send the Holy Spirit to be their Comforter or Helper (Jn.14:15-18; 25-27; 16:12-15). After Jesus’ resurrection, he appeared to his disciples and imparted the Holy Spirit to them. I believe it was in this moment that they were ‘born again’. The moment we become a Christian we receive the person of the Holy Spirit who comes to live inside of us and help us live the Christian life (Jn.20:19-23). But in addition to this, Jesus told the disciples to wait in Jerusalem until they received the “baptism of the Holy Spirit” that would empower them to fulfil God’s purpose for their lives (Acts 1:4-8). There seems to be two distinct aspects to the Holy Spirit’s work in our lives – coming to live inside of us the moment we are born again and filling us to empower us to live the Christian life and do the works of God. There is both an ‘indwelling’ and an ‘infilling’ of the same Holy Spirit in our lives.

What happened when the Holy Spirit came upon them (see Acts 2:1-4)? In addition to a number of supernatural things occurring in the room where they met (wind and fire appearing), the visible or tangible indicator that the infilling of the Holy Spirit had occurred was that each one of them spoke in other languages (or “tongues”). As we read through the story of the first century church, we discover that this was not just a one-off experience for these 120 disciples. It was normal for believers in the first century (see Acts 8:14-19; 9:17-20 with 1 Cor.14:18. Acts 10:44-48; 19:1-7). The primary evidence of being filled with the Spirit is speaking in tongues. Baptism in water, speaking in tongues and the gifts of the Spirit are a normal part of the Christian experience (although they are not necessary for salvation).

"Speaking in Tongues"

The very mention of this term or experience arouses a great variety of thoughts and responses. For those who have experienced it, there is a positive response and usually a testimony of the joy and release that accompanies it. For others who have not experienced it (and even some who have) there may be a somewhat negative response. Other people may feel inferior or second-class as if their faith is suspect because they don’t speak in tongues. Maybe they heard tongues used at an inappropriate time or in an inappropriate manner. So the responses are broad – ranging from curiosity to animosity. To start with, the term itself, though clearly biblical, tends to get the whole experience off to a bad start. Our tongues are not the most attractive part of our body. We do use them to speak with but generally we try to hide them away (unless we are rudely poking out our tongue!). So what is "speaking in tongues"? The Greek word implies an actual language, so a more helpful phrase may be “spiritual language.”

Is it Important and is it for Today?

Spiritual language is biblical and nothing in Scripture restricts it to the first century. It is not outdated, and many people throughout history and alive today have experienced it. Jesus was the one who introduced it (Mk. 16:17. Acts 2:4). It was the first sign to follow believers (Mt.16:17). It was given at the birth of the church (Acts 2:4). They all (120) spoke in spiritual languages on the first day the church came into being. It was God's idea. He created and endorsed it, obviously for a reason and a purpose. The early church continued to experience it. Paul promoted it (1 Cor. 14:5, 18, 39). He spoke in tongues more than anyone. He told no one to forbid it while encouraging its proper usage. Therefore, it must be important.

Continue reading “The Baptism of the Holy Spirit”

Reflections on Psalm 46 (by Nicole Conner)

UnknownPsalm 46

God is our refuge and strength, an ever-present help in trouble. Therefore we will not fear, though the earth give way and the mountains fall into the heart of the sea, though its waters roar and foam and the mountains quake with their surging. Selah.

There is a river whose streams make glad the city of God, the holy place where the Most High dwells. God is within her, she will not fall; God will help her at break of day. Nations are in uproar, kingdoms fall; he lifts his voice, the earth melts. The Lord Almighty is with us; the God of Jacob is our fortress. Selah.

Come and see the works of the Lord the desolations he has brought on the earth. He makes wars cease to the ends of the earth; he breaks the bow and shatters the spear, he burns the shields with fire. “Be still, and know that I am God; I will be exalted among the nations, I will be exalted in the earth.” The Lord Almighty is with us; the God of Jacob is our fortress. Selah.

Christians love to read the psalms and rightly so. But while Psalms may be the most popular book of the Bible, the psalms are often misunderstood and misinterpreted. Many of us choose a few favorites and ignore other psalms that strike us as bizarre or even cruel. Yet all the psalms were written for our benefit (2Tim.3:16-17). To understand and appreciate the whole collection, we need solid principles of interpretation that will guide us to a proper reading and application of this riveting book. The Psalms is humanity pouring their heart out to God in prose, using all anguish, joy and exaggerations.

There are some principles that we should keep in mind as we read the psalms (with thanks to well-known Old Testament Bible scholar, Tremper Longman III). Not only will they help us understand God's message in the psalms, but these principles will also allow us to see them in all their richness. As we meditate on the psalms we will think, feel, imagine, and make choices in increasingly godly ways.

Principle 1: Read a psalm in its context and understand the genre.

The book of Psalms is unique in the Bible. It is an anthology of 150 separate poetic compositions, not a narrative, such as Genesis or Mark, nor a collection of prophetic oracles like Isaiah. Through the ages, attempts have been made to give a rationale for why one psalm follows another. Occasionally, you can see small collections of similar poems grouped together, for instance the "songs of ascents" (Ps.120-134), or the Psalm we are looking today, being the first of a trilogy of praise psalms. But context does not mean the same thing in Psalms as it does in other biblical books. 
A psalm may have no relationship to the ones that surround it. Clearly, it is important to read a portion of a psalm in light of the whole poem.

Psalm 46 is a psalm of hope and praise in uncertain times. It was written by the Sons of Korah. They were assistants in the Temple. It might have been composed as a celebration of God's deliverance, possibly when Jerusalem was invaded by the Assyrian army (2 Kings 13:13-19:37 or 2 Chronicles 32). The ideas conveyed show that humans have always lived in fear of a great destruction that would signify their demise or the end of the world. However, the Psalmist's words speak as clearly to us today as to the ancient Israelites. Those who place their trust in God need not fear. God will protect and save us. Before God's greatness, we stand in reverence and awe, offering our worshipful praise (vs.1-3).

Throughout history, humanity has wrestled with this Psalm as a reflection on life’s uncertainty and vulnerability. This psalm inspired Martin Luther’s best known hymn: “A Mighty Fortress is Our God,” written during the turbulent years of the Reformation. This psalm was read by American President Obama at a recent 9/11 memorial in New York. In the midst of challenges, we recognize that it is God alone who is ever present. 

We all face many challenges in this lifetime – loss, grief, and shattered dreams – yet these are not signs that God is not with us. Rather it is the journey for every pilgrim that walks through this extraordinary experience called life. Psalm 46 points to the fact that no matter where your journey takes you, the good news to you is that God is your refuge and strength, and a very present help in trouble.

Principle 2: Ask how the psalm anticipates Jesus Christ.

Jesus gave the disciples a principle that should govern our reading of the whole Old Testament. He told them that his life and glorification were anticipated in “the Law of Moses, the Prophets and the Psalms” (Lk. 24:44). While the New Testament shows us that a handful of psalms are especially relevant to the coming of Christ (Ps.2, 16, 22, 69, 110, for example), we should read every single psalm with Christ in mind.

Verses 4-5 of Psalm 46 speak of a river that makes glad the city of God. This reference to a river is rather strange considering that Jerusalem had (and still has) only a tiny stream, which originates at the Gihon spring (1 Kings 1:38). The spring was at the foot of the hill on which was located the Jebusite fortress captured by David (2 Samuel 5). Ultimately the hill became part of an expanding Jerusalem. The stream was reached from within the fortress by a vertical shaft and short tunnel excavated through the rock. Although the stream was not a ‘river’, it was Israel’s life-line, especially during times of siege (e.g. 2 Kings 18). This stream became symbolic of a greater ‘river’ and source of life in Zion – God himself and the life which he gives to his people. It was a symbol of hope and confidence.

Of course today when we think of the context and genre of this Psalm we stop and think of the wonderful words of Jesus as recorded in John 7:37-38, "On the last and greatest day of the Feast, Jesus stood and said in a loud voice, “If anyone is thirsty, let him come to me and drink. Whoever believes in me, as the Scripture has said, streams of living water will flow from within him.” By this he meant the Spirit, whom those who believed in him were later to receive." 

This Psalm foreshadow and points to Christ in so many ways – but especially as Immanuel. Your river of life may seem like a tiny trickle but even those little insignificant streams are an indication that the river of God flows through his people in the person of the Holy Spirit. We don’t need to conjur God up, He is already with his people. As Richard Rohr says, “Faith does not need to push the river because faith is able to trust that there is a river. The river is flowing. We are in it.” If you are in Christ, you are in the river because Christ is in you.

Principle 3: Unpack the imagery of the psalm.

Parallelism and imagery are the two most notable characteristics of biblical poetry. In both cases, we see that we need to reflect more carefully and slowly on poetry than prose, because poetry is compressed language. It says a lot using only a few words. Not only do we need to ask about the relationship between the lines (parallelism), we must be on the lookout for the metaphors and similes that give such imaginative power to the psalms.

In verse 7 and again in verse 11, the psalmist presents us with a picture of God as our fortress. In Old Testament days, especially before the Romans brought peace to Palestine, a refuge or fortress was a very real need. Un-walled villages were clustered around walled stronghold cities, where residents in the region would flee in times of war. High towers and ramparts could be defended against a force many times their size. There is this whole idea about running into the fortress because life is uncertain, unpredictable, and we are vulnerable. The only certainty is that despite our circumstances, we are loved by God more than we can imagine and his presence is offered to us as a mighty fortress. Even when you feel numb or totally disorientated, one day in hindsight you will be able to say, “God was always there, a mighty fortress.” 

Principle 4: Glean the theological teaching of the psalm.

The psalms teach us about God and our relationship with Him. This is the heart of theology. The Psalter may be thought of as a portrait gallery of God, presenting us with multiple images of who God is. These images are most often pictures of relationship. God is our shepherd (Ps.23); our warrior (Ps.18); our king (Ps.47); and in the case of Psalm 46, a fortress – our refuge and strength. 

We are not presented with a carefully precise prose description of the nature of God, but rather with metaphors, through which we learn truly but not comprehensively. God is far above our thoughts, but he kindly gives us glimpses of his nature through imagery. Our finite find it impossible to grasp the magnitude of God. Trying to understand God is a bit like a raindrop trying to comprehend the ocean. Reflecting on the Psalms should create in us a humility in response to the vastness of God. 

When we begin to understand this we begin to see things differently, people differently, God differently. He is greater, because he is mystery and wonder. As Elizabeth Barrett Browning once said, "Earth's crammed with heaven, and every common bush afire with God; But only he who sees, takes off his shoes. The rest sit round it and pluck blackberries." Theologian Karl Barth who wrote a whole book on the mystery of God said this: "This much is certain, that we have no theological right to set any sort of limits to the loving-kindness of God which has appeared in Jesus Christ. Our theological duty is to see and understand it as being still greater than we had seen before."

The good news of today is the gospel in a nutshell – Immanuel. There is no place that you go that God is not. His presence surrounds you like a fortress for a frightened refugee. His river of life flows in and through you when you stop screaming, running and ranting enough to meditate, hear … and listen.

Principle 5: Consider the psalm a mirror of your soul.

When I get up in the morning, I drag myself to the mirror. As I force my eyes open, I gasp. I then quickly throw water in my face, and apply creams as they are meant to cure you of all sorts of calamities. A mirror, you see, gives me a close look at my physical appearance. Psalms also give me a good look at myself, but they peer deeper than a glass mirror; they reveal my soul. The psalms express every emotion that human beings experience. The laments articulate our fear, despair, shame, and anger. The hymns express joy, love, and confidence. As we read the words of the psalmist, they become our own. They help us understand what is going on inside of us. But even more, they minister to us as they direct us toward God.

Psalm 46:10 says, “Be still, and know that I am God.” This is not a summons to quiet meditation or a momentary spiritual pause. The Hebrew imperative indicates a strong meaning of “desist,” “give in” or, “let be”— like, shut up. Cease striving and admit that God is in ultimate control of human history. In faith we assent, “God the Creator reigns; God’s rule stands firm.” We do not reign; we cling to the Rock, against which the pounding waters break. As Christians we trust that, through Jesus Christ, God speaks the divine word “above all earthly powers.” Love is lord of heaven and earth. “Be quiet. Acknowledge that I am God.” The future is in the hands of the Most High. We do not control the outcome. “Be quiet. Relax. Yield.” Gelassenheit. In other words, “Step back and trust me.”

Now for a German who likes things in place, on time and in order, that mirror is not some lovely poetic prose. It can be pure torment and anguish at times. It challenges me to my core because I want to be in control. Everything within me fights against that this because, for me, it feels like the last several years I have been surrounded by a thick mist and the only grace given to me is enough light for the next step and the words “Trust me”. Now friends, that sounds romantic and beautiful – it’s not. Our contemporary culture and Christian culture encoruages us to have vision, to set goals, to look ahead, to dream and to strategise … and yet all you can see is the mist. There’s nothing romantic about that. But the Psalm provides a mirror to my soul. It shows me how much I voiced trusting God but truly failed to trust him until the storm breaks out. God is God, I am not. Be still and know that I am God.

Principle 6: Let the psalm guide your life.

The psalms do more than teach us about God by stimulating our imagination. They do more than guide our emotional lives. They lead us to godly actions and attitudes. Preeminently, the psalms, as the hymnbook of ancient Israel, tell us how to worship. They encourage us to sing, praise, clap our hands, pray, fall on our knees, to lament, and cry to God. They invite us to an enthusiastic adoration of our God in good times and in difficult times. These principles can help us as we seek to understand and apply the psalms to our lives. They are not a magical formula, however. We must approach the psalms with the understanding that we will meet our God there.

How does Psalm 46 guide my life? It guides me into a quieter places of trust and contemplation. It's in that place that I observe the storms of life that seek to beat me. It guides me to a less hurried life because if there’s one thing I have recently learnt – that to understand the "Be Still" bit – I have to be totally ruthless with my tendency to continually be in a hurry and busy.

Contemplation is nothing less than a secret, peaceful and loving infusion from God. The road of contemplation is where God himself feeds and refreshes the soul directly, without the soul’s help or meditation. There is a remarkable transformation of the heart’s desires as a result of surrendering to God in our soul’s center. Our desire and God’s desire now join in a consonance of desire.

Contemplation also allows you to go to the dark and shadow places of our heart – the ones we pretend are not there until we finally believe the lie and live a fake, delusional life. The parts that we shut out from God and our neighbor. It’s one of the biggest problems in our fast-paced, image driven, hyper-spiritual modern Christian culture. We just don’t like to admit that darkness that resides in us. So we cover it with clichés, and false dichotomies, and adrenaline addicted hyper-reality. But our dark shadows will find us in different ways, most often in our dreams, or addictive and harmful behavior.

Be still – the contemplative life makes me realize that I can go to the shadows and not recoil in horror but realize that God is already there waiting for me. Waiting for me to embrace, acknowledge, recognize, all of my life, and allow him to transform all of my life, not just what I think are the nice bits.

Unless you learn to face your own shadows, you will continue to see them in others, because what you see on the outside is often a reflection of what is going on inside of you. You will never be able to truly love your neighbor, until you understand that you have to embrace all of your life – and love you as you. Church should be a safe place to discover that, but unfortunately much of modern Christianity has become a behavior comparison spectacle or belief odometer, so that we end up comparing ourselves amongst ourselves, instead of creating a place of authenticity, transparency and journeying with one another. Make the courageous choice to live authentically. Focus your soul on God and meditate on the greatness of God as your protector and fortress.

Conclusion

The Psalms are God’s gift to us. In them we, with people of antiquity, express our emotions to God and we stand in wonder. May you use them as a light in dark times, and as an expression of praise in moments of great joy, but most of all may they give you another insight into the greatness of God.

My Favourite Meals to Cook (Pt.3)

LambHere is one last BLOG post of my favourite recipes to cook.

1. Bircher Muesli. This is a terrific way to start the morning and you can vary the fruit. I like bananas or berries with my muesli.  

2. Pasta dishes are a tasty way to warm up any winter's evening dinner table. Here are some good easy recipes for pumpkin and bacon pasta, bolognese and chicken lasagna.

3. Salads are a healthy and delicious supplement to any meal, and even make a good meal all by themselves. Some of my favourites are a rocket, cherry tomato and pine nuts, tomato and cucumber, and the classic waldorf salad (a step up on Fawlty Towers!). 

4. Pizzas are easy to make, especially if you buy the base. My two  favourite toppings are chicken, bacon and avocado, as well as spinach, feta and pine nuts. If you want to make your own base, click here for a good recipe and here for some great ideas for vegetarian toppings.

5. Finally, I love roasts – mainly chicken but also lamb. Here is a terrific recipe for a roast leg of lamb with garlic and rosemary. Don't forget the roasted vegetables.

Okay, enough now. Enjoy!

“Look! I stand at the door and knock. If you hear my voice and open the door, I will come in, and we will share a meal together as friends." NLT [Jesus – Rev.3:20]

My Favourite Meals to Cook (Pt.2)

ChowYes, cooking is a bit of a hobby for me now. I find it really enjoyable and it's a great way to unwind after a busy day of work or ministry. Plus, it is a big help to my wife, Nicole, who has been doing most of the cooking for our 25 years of married life! 

Here are another 5 recipes that I really like:

1. We love Japanese food. Why not start with some miso soup and a cabbage salad, then finish with some fresh sashimi.  

2. Be sure to try some chicken quesadillas. Great Mexican food!  

3. I love seafood chowder and this is a simple recipe for it (picture above). Vary the amount of cream you include to alter how creamy it is. Go for good quality fresh seafood.

4. Vegetarian dishes can taste great too. Check out parsnip fritters with honey and mustard dressing (delicious!) or a tasty mushroom pie.

5. For dessert, my favourites are chocolate ripple cake, eton mess, or the ever-popular pavlova.

Enjoy!

Part 3

My Favourite Meals to Cook (Pt.1)

CurryIrish playright, George Bernard Shaw (1856-1950), once said, "There is no love sincerest than the love of food." Okay, a bit exaggerated, but let's face it, eating is one of the enjoyable pleasures God has given us in this life. The wise man Solomon said, "People should eat and drink and enjoy the fruits of their labor, for these are gifts from God (Ecc.3:13)."

I have always enjoyed eating. When I was young, I could eat like a horse and never put on weight. At 50 years of age, it's a different story. I have to be more selective in what I eat and how much I eat. That's if I want to keep my weight at a level where I can feel good about myself and have adequate energy for each day.

Over the last few years I have started cooking some meals myself. I started slow but this year I have really picked up the pace, especially after a good friend gave me a Jamie Oliver cookbook for my 50th birthday. I now cook a few times a week for our family. I love it! It's fun to get the apron on, clear everyone out of the kitchen (except my beautiful daughter, Natasha, who loves to cook with me and is a joy to work with) and get cooking a delicious and nutritious meal for everyone.

Here are some of my favourite recipes (click on the link for the recipe):

1. Thai Chicken Green Curry (picture above). My family would have this every night if they had their way. It's that good. The inclusion of the eggplant and the baby corn really makes the dish, as does the kaffir lime leaves (we planted a tree in our garden just so that we would have the real deal).

2. Marinated Salmon. I made this dish for the first time earlier this week and it is already a new favourite for our family. Delicious! Add some steamed bok choy and broccolini. 

3. You can't go past a Jamie Oliver recipe for roast chicken. Add in some roast veggies – we love carrots, potatoes and parsnip.

4. One of my favourite steaks is a Scotch fillet. The key is to turn it only once and then to rest the steaks for 2-4 minutes before serving (loosely covered with foil). I love to eat this steak with sauteed mushrooms and some grilled asparagus on the side.

5. Finally, try this delicious spaghetti marinara recipe. I buy fresh marinara from the local fishmonger. 

If I can cook and delight everyone with these dishes, you can do. Bon appetit! 

Part 2

Top 5 Regrets of the Dying

DyingA nurse has recorded the most common regrets of the dying, and among the top ones is 'I wish I hadn't worked so hard'. What would your biggest regret be if this was your last day of life?

There was no mention of more sex or bungee jumps. A palliative nurse who has counselled the dying in their last days has revealed the most common regrets we have at the end of our lives. And among the top, from men in particular, is 'I wish I hadn't worked so hard'.

Bronnie Ware is an Australian nurse who spent several years working in palliative care, caring for patients in the last 12 weeks of their lives. She recorded their dying epiphanies in a blog called Inspiration and Chai, which gathered so much attention that she put her observations into a book called The Top Five Regrets of the Dying.

Ware writes of the phenomenal clarity of vision that people gain at the end of their lives, and how we might learn from their wisdom. "When questioned about any regrets they had or anything they would do differently," she says, "common themes surfaced again and again."

Here are the top five regrets of the dying, as witnessed by Ware:

1. I wish I'd had the courage to live a life true to myself, not the life others expected of me.

"This was the most common regret of all. When people realise that their life is almost over and look back clearly on it, it is easy to see how many dreams have gone unfulfilled. Most people had not honoured even a half of their dreams and had to die knowing that it was due to choices they had made, or not made. Health brings a freedom very few realise, until they no longer have it."

2. I wish I hadn't worked so hard.

"This came from every male patient that I nursed. They missed their children's youth and their partner's companionship. Women also spoke of this regret, but as most were from an older generation, many of the female patients had not been breadwinners. All of the men I nursed deeply regretted spending so much of their lives on the treadmill of a work existence."

3. I wish I'd had the courage to express my feelings.

"Many people suppressed their feelings in order to keep peace with others. As a result, they settled for a mediocre existence and never became who they were truly capable of becoming. Many developed illnesses relating to the bitterness and resentment they carried as a result."

4. I wish I had stayed in touch with my friends.

"Often they would not truly realise the full benefits of old friends until their dying weeks and it was not always possible to track them down. Many had become so caught up in their own lives that they had let golden friendships slip by over the years. There were many deep regrets about not giving friendships the time and effort that they deserved. Everyone misses their friends when they are dying."

5. I wish that I had let myself be happier.

"This is a surprisingly common one. Many did not realise until the end that happiness is a choice. They had stayed stuck in old patterns and habits. The so-called 'comfort' of familiarity overflowed into their emotions, as well as their physical lives. Fear of change had them pretending to others, and to their selves, that they were content, when deep within, they longed to laugh properly and have silliness in their life again."

What's your greatest regret so far, and what will you set out to achieve or change before you die?

[Source: Guardian UK]

Some Final Thoughts on Relationships

FirendOver the last week or so, we have shared some thoughts and reflections on a variety of issues, including singleness, dating, marriage, parenting, family conflict, sexuality, homosexuality and same-sex marriage. Hopefully, this has been helpful, even though we haven't been able to address every possible question.

I pray that these thoughts will be part of an ongoing conversation – with the Scriptures, with our world, and within our faith communities. 

Each one of us find ourselves in a current situation or circumstance. We can't change the past, though we can seek to repair broken relationships and find a place of forgiveness. We can't guarantee the future. But we can deal with today. We can choose to be the kind of people God wants us to be … right here, right now.

Jesus gave his followers two basic commands: love God and love people. 

The apostle Paul picked this up and gave us a detailed description of what this love looks like …

1 Cor.13:4-7. Love is patient and kind. Love is not jealous or boastful or proud or rude. It does not demand its own way. It is not irritable, and it keeps no record of being wronged. It does not rejoice about injustice but rejoices whenever the truth wins out. Love never gives up, never loses faith, is always hopeful, and endures through every circumstance. NLT

We can't always change others but we can change ourselves. Be a thermostat (a proactive influencer of the atmosphere) rather than a thermometer (a reactive instrument). Ask the Holy Spirit to fill you with all the love, power and wisdom you need for your relational world. When we love others genuinely, we offer worship to God (because we are kids who reflect what their dad is like) and we offer a compelling witness to the world (when they say, "Look how they love each other!"). 

Some Thoughts on Divorce and Remarriage

DivorceDivorce

Here in Australia, 43% of first marriages end in divorce, 50% of second marriages end in divorce and 70% of subsequent marriages have the same fate. This is so sad. We can hardly imagine the heartache and pain represented by those statistics … for everyone involved, but especially for the children.

God clearly hates divorce. His will is for marriage to be a life-long commitment. However, because of sin, marriages (like other relationships) sometimes break down and become irreparable. Even God himself eventually divorced the nation of Israel during Old Testament times for repeated spiritual unfaithfulness.

When debating the Pharisees, who were looking for any reason to permit divorce, Jesus took them back to the beginning to God's original intention. However, Jesus did allow divorce in the case of sexual unfaithfulness (adultery), though forgiveness is always to be the first response. The apostle Paul allowed for divorce in the case of an unbelieving partner deserting a Christian. There may be other cases, such as violence or abuse, where a person’s life is in danger, where separation should at least occur. As a church, our goal is always to help married couples resolve their conflicts, if at all possible. However, a marriage may not survive some situations when the covenant of marriage has been so severely violated over a period of time. 

What about remarriage for divorced people?

Where a divorce has occurred, our church may consider a remarriage IF the issues relating to the previous marriage have been dealt with appropriately, including repentance of personal sins that may have contributed towards the break-up of the previous marriage.

God is the God of the second chance. Divorce is not the unpardonable sin. Divorcees are not second class-citizens in the kingdom of God. God gives us all grace to learn from our mistakes and to move on. The same Jesus who upheld the permanency of marriage showed grace to a woman he met by a well who had been divorced five times and was now living with a man (John 4). He reached into her soul and brought healing to her shattered heart and trail of broken relationships. May we too, keep truth and grace in perfect balance when it comes to broken relationships, including divorce.

P.S. For some more resources on this sensitive topic, click here.

For some practical helps for blended families (1 in 3 marriages in Australia are now a remarriage), visit the Stepfamily Association Victoria Inc.