Mark Conner Personal Development, Spirituality

THRIVE

Last year, I shared a 5-part series of messages at Bayside Church in Melbourne around the theme of THRIVE. As we entered the year, our intention wasn’t to merely SURVIVE another year, but to THRIVE. The English word ‘thrive’ means: to flourish, bloom, or prosper. It comes from an Old Norse root worth that means to grow or increase. It’s about a certain vitality and excitement, a sense of joy and enjoyment, a burst of energy, strength, and resilience for the inevitable challenges and pressures of the territory, and an increasing passion and enthusiasm.

In life, “everything belongs”. Everything is connected. This series looked at 5 vital relationships or connections within your world. Like an eco-system, each part contributes to the health and well-being of the whole and the whole contributes to each part. Each aspect has a vital part to play in our overall flourishing.

1. You and God. Each person’s spiritual journey begins with an awareness of God, which can occur early or later in life, and in a variety of different ways. Once we embrace the reality of God, knowing who this God is becomes vital. Thankfully, the God of the Universe is revealed as LOVE and we can learn to live each day as the ‘beloved’. This is a life of grace not one of performance-based acceptance. How freeing and transformational this can be! You can listen to the audio of this message now.

2. You and Your Calling. In this message, I shared some insights for discovering your life purpose, which includes a sense of identity (who you are) and contribution (what you do). Your mission is at the intersection of (1) what you are good at, (2) what you care about, and (3) the needs of the world. You can listen to the audio of this message now.

3. You and Yourself. To thrive in life, we need a healthy relationship with the person we look at in the mirror each day – ourselves. In this message, I shared about the importance of self-acceptance, how to develop personal confidence, the vital quality of integrity, and how to become a more optimistic person. You can listen to the audio of this message now.

4. You and People. Life for people of faith is about loving God and loving people. The first task is often easier than the second! After all, ‘everyone is normal until you get to know them’! In this message, I shared 7 relational principles from the life of Jesus then focused on the 3 BIG relational Cs – handling Criticism, resolving Conflict, and learning to Confront appropriately when necessary. You can listen to the audio of this message now.

5. You and Your Work. In this message, I exposed the myth of sacred/secular dualistic thinking, presented a ‘theology of work’, and shared some insights for finding meaningful work and a job to love. I finished up by acknowledging that there is more to life than work and shared a few thoughts about ‘retirement’. You can listen to the audio of this message now.

As you listen to these messages and reflect on your own life, I hope that you will THRIVE in this new year.

Mark Conner Personal Development

Today’s Questions

Answers. We all love them. A test completed. A problem fixed. A riddle solved. A decision made. Confusion clarified. Resolution. The end.

What about questions? Here are some good questions to ask yourself from time to time.

  • Who am I?
  • What do I value?
  • Why am I here?
  • What gives life meaning … for me?
  • What do I enjoy?
  • What do I want … really?
  • What is frustrating me?
  • What is my best contribution?
  • Where am I heading?
  • What’s important now?
  • What do I do next?
  • What needs to change?
  • Who can help?
  • What is my focus … today?

Maybe we’re better off not rushing too soon to answers before patiently exploring our questions. Why not sit with them for a while? Be willing to live in the ‘in-between’. Pause. Embrace mystery and paradox – the unknown and yet to be revealed. I wonder if we can let go of the anxiety of the unresolved. Marinate. Give it time.

You are changing … and so are the questions … and so are the answers … for you.

What are your questions today?

“The important thing is not to stop questioning. Curiosity has its own reason for existing.”

Albert Einstein
Mark Conner Personal Development, Soul Food

The Stories We Tell Ourselves – Narrative Therapy

Today I begin a series of conversations with my wife, Nicole Conner, on the topic of ‘The Stories We Tell Ourselves’. Nicole has a Masters of Narrative Therapy and Community Work from Melbourne University and she has her own narrative therapy practice called Defining Stories. Over the last few years, Nicole has been able to come alongside many people and help them navigate a variety of problems and challenges in their lives.

In this first video conversation, we discuss narrative therapy and what drew Nicole to this particular modality or discipline. We also talk about how this approach can be transformative.

Here are the other episodes in this series on The Stories We Tell Ourselves:

  1. Narrative Therapy (this episode).
  2. Defining Stories.
  3. Problem Stories.
  4. Externalisation and the Table of Life.
  5. A Story About Anxiety.
  6. Discerning Your Dominant Story.

For those desiring to learn more about narrative therapy, here are some recommended resources:

Mark Conner Personal Development, Spirituality, Sports

Reflections on the Game of GOLF

Nice to hear that golf courses are open again here in Melbourne …

A few years ago, I was sitting in a nice cafe overlooking a beautiful golf course. I was enjoying a delicious cup of coffee, reflecting on my life, and writing in my journal. I have played a fair amount of golf over the years – some very enjoyable games and some very frustrating ones. Golf is definitely not my favourite sport.

Here’s my journal entry for that day (with apologies to golf lovers!):

The game of GOLF is a metaphor for the human predicament. 

We live in a beautiful world of hills, trees, bushes, grass, flowers, lakes, streams, and wildlife. Instead of simply enjoying it and meandering through its beauty in a peaceful manner, we have to set a goal. 

We put a hole in the ground, a flag in the air, and off we go. Swinging a golf club. Hitting a ball. Trying to get it into the hole. Quicker and faster than our competitors. Counting our shots.

Do we experience frustration or joy? It depends on how well we are DOING. Everything else is blocked out. We don’t see much. We are focused on the goal. After all, “Winners are grinners and losers are suckers”, they say.

Now let’s do it again … and again and again. 

Who turned life into such a competitive game? Who took the joy out of the simplicity of taking a walk in God’s beautiful world! 

It’s time to bail. Refuse to play the game! Throw away your clubs. Put on your walking shoes. Soak in the sun. Stop and look at the flowers. Listen to the birds. Delight in this gift called LIFE. It’s not a game to be endured. It’s a journey to be enjoyed.

[Journal – 29th August 2019]

Actually, we can learn a lot from sport about the game of life. Listen to my podcast for a recent message given at Bayside Church on ‘Winning at the Game of Life: Lessons from the World of Sport‘.

Mark Conner Current Issues, Personal Development

The Genius of ‘Low Power Mode’

Whoever thought of ‘Low Power Mode’ is a genius. When this option pops up on my phone, I always hit ‘Continue’, never ‘Cancel’. It’s super helpful.

Phone battery life is a precious resource. If you don’t manage it carefully, you might find yourself unable to make calls or take photos … just when you really need to. And once your phone battery has died, your phone is useless … until you can find a charging point.

To extend your phone’s battery capacity, many phones have a special battery-saving mode that helps your smartphone last a little longer. It’s often referred to as ‘Low Power Mode’ and it reduces the amount of power that your phone uses when the battery gets low. When Low Power Mode is ON, your phone will last longer before you need to charge it, but some features might take longer to update or complete. Low Power Mode reduces screen brightness (a big battery drain!) and shortens the time your phone waits before going to sleep. It also does less regular checks and refreshes of background tasks like checking for incoming emails or updated news stories, for example.

I was in a training event this last week via ZOOM and one of the participants mentioned ‘Low Power Mode’ as a good metaphor for this time of pandemic lockdown. How helpful is that. I knew I had to give this concept some more thought and reflection.

These are stressful times and it’s easy to find ourselves running on empty or depleted in our energy. Our capacity has taken a hit and we find ourselves unable to keep going at the pace we have become accustomed to or produce the outcomes we have always expected of ourselves.

Choosing to only focus on the most important aspects of our lives and putting everything else on hold until our energy reserves have been built up again sure makes a lot of sense. After all, conserving our energy a little bit now is a much better short-term strategy than having to shut down completely.

Here are a few questions to reflect on about entering ‘Low Power Mode’:

  1. Who are the important people in my world who need to know that I am low on energy at the moment? This takes courage but it helps people adjust their expectations and provide support to you.
  2. How could I choose more realistic expectations of myself?
  3. Do I need to affirm the belief that it’s ‘okay’ to be in Low Power Mode? After all, it is NOT a sign of weakness, failure, or inadequacy.
  4. Are there ways I can slow down the pace of my day, maybe by scheduling fewer appointments and allowing adequate gaps of time between egnagements?
  5. Could I postpone any tasks or projects that are not critical right now?
  6. Could I re-negotiate any agreements or commitments that would reduce any pressure I currently feel?
  7. What are the few things that are vital for my energy use right now?
  8. Who are some ‘safe people’ I could have a meaningful conversation about how I am feeling right now?
  9. What fun activities do I enjoy that I could do more of this week? All work and no play take their toll.

Low Power Mode is a temporary setting but it is far better than going completely ‘off the grid’ indefinitely. Use it to your advantage. Choose the genius of Low Power Mode.

Mark Conner Personal Development, Soul Food

Making the Most of 2021

The new year is well underway. I am sure we are all glad to put 2020 behind us with all its upheaval and disruption. Let’s hope and pray that this year sees greater peace, unity, and progress in our world.

Back in September 2020, we launched Soul Food with Mark Conner, a short, weekly video-cast of encouragement and insight aimed at improving your overall, personal well-being.

Our second series was around the theme of ‘Life Think’. Many people spend more time planning and preparing for their holidays than they do for their life. It doesn’t have to be that way. By investing some quality time in thinking about who we are, where we are heading, and what has meaning for us, we can live lives of greater purpose, joy, and contribution. 

There have been 5 episodes so far and we have covered a variety of important topics, each focused on one aspect of life planning. Below is a list of the 5 episodes along with a link to a transcript of the video content. You can watch any or all of these episodes on the Soul Food YouTube Channel, Instagram TV, or the Soul Food Facebook page. Why not listen to an episode you missed or review one that is most relevant for you at the moment.

  1. Life Think
  2. Your Why
  3. Many Hats
  4. Next Steps
  5. Time Out

New episodes of Soul Food are coming your way next week!

Mark Conner Personal Development, Soul Food

Soul Food Episode 18 – Time Out

I am a sports lover – especially basketball and football. In any sports game, from time to time a team will take a time out. A time out is a pause in the action where everyone can take a quick breather …. and think about how the game is going.

It’s the same in life. We can easily become so busy living our life that we don’t take time to STOP … and think about how’s going. Do we know our why? Are we becoming the person we really want to be? Are we heading in the direction we want to be going? If we don’t take a time out, we can tend to drift and our good intentions never become reality. 

One of the most helpful habits I have established for myself is a weekly Time Out. It’s a 60-90 minute appointment with myself. I think it’s one of the best uses of your time you could ever make. 

So what do you do in a weekly time out?

Firstly, it’s a chance to review the next steps you have set for yourself. A goal set and never looked again at is merely a wish. It’s so easy to drift and forget who we want to be and what we want to accomplish. We can easily be distracted and the urgent squeezes out the important. Reflecting on our next steps regularly ensures we stay on track with where we are headed. 

Secondly, it’s an opportunity to review the previous week. Look back over your diary and reflect on what happened – your your relationships, your meetings, your appointments. Gather all your loose ends – messages, emails, tasks, incomplete projects, mail, or anything else in your ‘inbox’. 

Finally, it’s a chance to preview the coming week. What commitments do you already have? Is your time going towards what is important? Do you need to make any changes or get released from previous agreements? What steps could you take towards achieving your goals? Do you have rest and recovery time? Time for self-care and fun?

I’ve been doing this for many years now and would say its one of the best habits for effective living. I have done my weekly Time Out on Fridays some years and on Mondays at other times, but right now I like to do it on Saturday or Sunday afternoon. Find what works for you and how often. Maybe every few days is better for you or once a month. 

Successful people know their priorities and focus their energy on them. They know what is important and they keep ‘first things first’. They use their time wisely and they ensure that urgent things don’t keep them from doing what is really important.

What’s your purpose? What’s your priority? What’s most important? What next steps are you aiming to accomplish? The issue is not whether next year will be busy but what it will be busy with. Lots of activity does not always equal significant accomplishment. A weekly Time Out helps us keep on track. 

Let’s recap our main points:

  1. A regular Time Out is one of the most important life habits. 
  2. Take time to review your next steps on a weekly basis. 
  3. Take time to review your previous week and prepare for the coming week. 
  4. Successful people know their priorities and focus their energy on them.

That’s all for today. Soul Food will be taking a break over the month of January. We’ve done 18 episodes so far. Why not review some of the ones you missed or that were most helpful to you. See you in February!

You can watch a video of this episode on the Soul Food YouTube channel.

For further reading, see Getting Things Done by David Allen, The Essentialist by Greg Kckeown, and First Things First by Stephen Covey.

Mark Conner Personal Development, Soul Food

Soul Food Episode 17 – Next Steps

With the new year not far away, a lot of people start talking about ‘new year’s resolutions’. Do they work or don’t they? Are they worth setting or just a waste of time?

Well, research indicates that 25 percent of people abandon their New Year’s resolutions after one week. Another 60 percent of people abandon them within six months. Interestingly, the average person makes the same New Year’s resolutions 10 times without success. Amazingly, even after a heart attack, only 14 percent of patients make any meaningful change around eating or exercise.

What’s the point? Change is hard! And New Year’s resolutions don’t tend to work … but goal setting does!

Psychological studies reveal that the simple act of setting goals then writing down them down increases your likelihood of achieving those goals by 42 percent. There’s power in written goals.

Now I’m sure that some of you LOVE setting goals. If you do, you probably know about SMART Goals.

  • S stands for Specific. They’re not vague or general. 
  • M stands for Measurable. They are quantifiable.
  • A stands for Actionable. You can do something about them.
  • R stands for Realistic. They might be difficult but they are possible.
  • T stands for Time-Bound. They have a deadline – a date for completion.

Saying I want to lose weight is not a SMART goal. But writing down, “I want to reduce my weight to 95 kg by the 31st December” is. That was one of my goals for this year. 

Simply saying I want to get better at helping other leaders is not a SMART goal. But writing down that, “I will complete a Diploma of Professional Coaching by 30th June 2021” is. That’s one of my current goals.

On the other hand, I am sure some of you don’t even like the word GOAL! It all sounds a bit corporate to you. I understand. 

So why not think about your life in terms of your next steps?

Think back through the roles we discussed in last’s week’s episode – the many hats that you wear. What are your current roles? What kind of a person do you want to be in each role? What would you like to accomplish in each area this coming year? Now start thinking about your next steps to ensure that vision you have for your life becomes more of a reality this coming year. 

With little or no effort, we tend to settle into old patterns and habits. It takes a great degree of effort to escape the inertia of the comfort zone. That’s why next steps are so important. They motivate us to move forward, to leave familiar, comfortable terrain and explore new frontiers.

One other insight … best-selling author Jim Collins encourages business leaders to set 5 new goals for their business at the beginning of each year … and decide to STOP doing 5 things. The magic is in deciding what to STOP. You can’t keep adding to your life year after year. You have to STOP doing some things to create the space, time, and energy to ADD new things 

Let’s recap our main points:

  1. Carefully crafting written goals is more effective than making New Year’s resolutions. 
  2. Consider what you want to STOP doing in order to make room for new things in your life.
  3. Set some compelling next steps for each role in your life – ones that you will be excited to work towards.

That’s all for today. 

See you next week!

You can watch this episode on the Soul Food YouTube Channel.

Recommending Reading: Your Best Year Yet by Michael Hyatt and Getting Things Done by David Allen.

Mark Conner Personal Development, Soul Food

Soul Food Episode 16 – Many Hats

In life, we all wear many different hats. In fact, it helps to think about our life as a portfolio of different roles? 

  • As a family member you might be a son or a daughter, a brother or a sister, a husband or a wife, a partner, a parent or a grandparent. 
  • In your work, you might be an employee, a team member, a manager, or a CEO. 
  • You could also have roles as a friend, a neighbour, and a volunteer … just to mention a few examples. 

Your roles or your hats will change as you move through the different seasons of your life. For example, right now you may be a student, a daughter, a sister, a team member, and a part time employee. In a few years time you may be an employer, a wife, and a social club member. Later on you may be a wife, a mother, and a volunteer community leader. 

In this season of my life, I have 5 primary hats or roles:

  1. A person (that’s a role that helps me think through my own health and well-being)
  2. A family member (I am a husband, father, brother, and grandparent),
  3. A communicator (this includes my speaking, training, and writing)
  4. A leader (including being a coach)
  5. A business owner.

Identify all the roles that you have right now. Try to limit them to about 6 or 7 at the most … you can do that by grouping similar ones together. 

Then think about the kind of person you want to be in each of your roles. 

One of the helpful principles when thinking about your life to “begin with the end in mind”. 

Imagine your own funeral, if you will. It’s the end of your life and someone who knew you well in each of your roles (family member, work associate, team member, neighbour, and friend) is going to give a tribute for you. 

What would you want them to say? 

If you can capture that picture vividly in your mind then you can more easily start today to become the person you really want to be. 

You might even want to write out a description of the ideal person you want to be in each role – so you can refer to it regularly. 

Obviously, our aim should be to do well in each of our roles at any given moment in time. You don’t want to succeed in only one or two areas of life to the detriment of other areas. For instance, what good is it to succeed in business and lose your family or your health?

Taking time to regular reflect on each role in our life, or the hats that we wear, helps ensure we keep a holistic perspective and maintain balance in our overall life. 

Let’s recap our main points:

  1. Life can be seen as a portfolio of different roles we play … or hats that we wear. 
  2. Take the time to think about the kind of person you want to be in each of your roles. 
  3. True success is doing our best at each of our roles at any given moment in time.

That’s all for today. 

See you next week!

You can watch a video of this episode on the Soul Food YouTube channel.

Mark Conner Personal Development, Soul Food

Soul Food Episode 15 – Your Why

One of my favourite items in the kitchen is the ice cream scoop. What an incredible invention! I don’t know how many bent spoons scattered the planet before some genius came up with this idea. It’s designed NOT to bend and to scoop out even the hardest ice cream effortlessly. 

Now there are a lot of other things you could use this item for. You could dig out weeds in your garden with it. You could hammer a nail in. You could use it as a paper weight. Yes, there are multiple uses for an ice cream scoop BUT it functions best when used for the purpose its designer created it for. 

In the same way, I believe YOU were created for a purpose. No one is an accident. 

Your purpose is your why – why you get up in the morning, why you do what you do … the way you do it. Every human being has an innate longing to be useful – to do something meaningful with their life. Our soul has a need for contribution – a inner yearning to make a difference somehow. 

And I find that your why is something you discover as much as something you decide. 

You night have heard the motivational statement, “You can be anything you want to be!” Really?? Come on, that’s not really true, is it. I’d rephrase it to say “You can do anything you were created to do!” 

As we think about our life it is vital that we realise we have one life to live. This is it. It’s not a dress rehearsal or practice run. 

If you’ve ever been to a cemetery and looked at the tombstones, you will have noticed that most people get their name, their birth date, their death date and a little hyphen or dash in-between those two dates. That’s all you get for your entire life! But in many ways what you do in time echoes into eternity. So make this the very best DASH you can! 

One simple way to discover your purpose is to ask yourself three questions:

  1. What you are good at? Think about your strengths, your talents, your life experiences, and your unique skills. We can’t do everything but we can all do something.
  2. What you care about? Consider your interests, your concerns, what you enjoy, what excites you, and even what annoys you or makes you angry.
  3. What are the needs of the world? Reflect on the changes that need to be made, the problems yet to be solved, the challenges still being faced.

At the intersection of your answer to those 3 questions is your purpose – your mission, your WHY. It’s worth taking the time to discover that … because when we are living with a sense of purpose we are most effective and most joyful. When we are not pursuing a worthwhile purpose, we are just going through the motions … without really living. We end up being ineffective and frustrated. 

Think about your life. What are you living for? Why do you get up in the morning? What’s it all about for you? What’s the dream you are pursuing? What has value and meaning for you?

Let’s recap our main points:

  1. You were created for a purpose.
  2. Our purpose (or our why) is something we discover as much as something we decide. 
  3. We have one life to live – let’s give it our best shot!
  4. Living with a sense of purpose increases our effectiveness and our joy.

That’s all for today. 

See you next week!

You can watch a video of this episode on the Soul Food YouTube channel.

Recommended Reading: Know Your Why by Ken Costa and Start With Why by Simon Sinek

Mark Conner Personal Development, Soul Food

Soul Food Episode 14 – Life Think

Did you know that many people spend more time thinking about their holidays than they do their life?

Today on Soul Food we start a new series called ‘Life Think’ – taking some time to think about and reflect on our life. After all our ‘soul’ includes not only our feelings, but also our thoughts and our decisions. 

Christmas is only just over 3 weeks away and you know what’s after that – the end of this year and the beginning of a new year. This time of year is a good opportunity to pause and reflect on our life … and to think about the direction we are heading.

To do this, I find it helpful to block out some time to have a thorough review of this year. 

Of course, like when we are driving, it is important to be primarily looking forward towards where we are heading … BUT every now and then we need to glance into the rearview mirror to see where you have come from. 

To do so … ask yourself some important questions: 

  1. What went well this year – things you are grateful for, that you can celebrate?
  2. What didn’t go so well – and why? Think about any disappointments or regrets you may have. 
  3. Are you okay with how this year unfolded? 
  4. How would you live differently if you had this year all over again?
  5. Was there anything missing from your life?
  6. What lessons did you learn this year? 
  7. What themes or patterns emerged? 

As we have said before, experience isn’t life’s greatest teacher. It’s only by taking time aside for reflection that we can turn experience into wisdom for life. It was Socrates who said, “The unexamined life is not worth living.”

Of course, your past does not determine your future. So don’t get stuck there. However, the better we process our past the better we set ourselves up to create the future we desire. 

Let’s recap our main points:

  1. Many people spend more time thinking about their holidays than they do their life.
  2. Make an appointment with yourself and have a thorough review of this year.
  3. Tap into the power of questions.
  4. Your past does not determine your future. You can change!
  5. Reflection turns experience into insight. 

That’s all for today. 

See you next week!

Recommended Reading: Your Best Year Ever, Living Forward, and Free to Focus by Michael Hyatt. See also 7 Habits of Highly Effective People by Stephen Covey. 

You can watch a video of this episode now on the Soul Food YouTube channel.

Here is the full list of episodes in the Life Think series:

  1. Life Think
  2. Your Why
  3. Many Hats
  4. Next Steps
  5. Time Out
  6. Endings
  7. Beginnings
  8. In-Between
  9. Halftime
  10. Parallel Careers
  11. Habits
  12. Routines
  13. 90 Days

Series 3 of Soul Food with Mark Conner is on the topic of Reboot (4 episodes).

NOTE: Be sure to also see Series 1 of Soul Food with Mark Conner on Self Care.

Mark Conner Personal Development, Soul Food

Soul Food Episode 13 – Energy

Many years ago, I experienced what I would call an ‘emotional valley’ that lasted for over 6 months. I wasn’t sure what was wrong with me but it took everything within me just to make it through the next meeting, the next appointment, or the next project. My mood was higher when something was done, rather than when I was leading up to it or during the event or experience. I felt overwhelmed a lot of the time and didn’t have the energy to think much beyond what I was doing at any given moment. It was subtle but very debilitating. 

Everything in my life on the outside was going well – my family, my friendships and my job – but something was clearly wrong. 

With the help of a personal coach, I came to realize that I had been living at an unsustainable pace. I would go on a work trip to India for two weeks, come back on a Friday then speak at my church five times on the weekend, then head to the USA on the Monday. 

As a result, my emotions were simply shutting down, refusing to live at this breakneck speed. They only seemed to provide me with enough energy for what was directly in front of me .. and only just. I had nothing left over in reserve nor could I get excited about anything much beyond each day. I was suffering from a form of adrenaline exhaustion.

It took time to come out of this valley. There was no instant fix or snapping out of it. I had to slow down, take more time off, rest more, and lower the high expectations I had on myself when it came to productivity. I shared openly with my family, my friends and a few close team members at work about what was going on. They were a helpful support to me during this time.

What I’ve learned since then is that managing our energy is even more important than managing our time. After all, energy is one of our greatest resources – but it is a limited commodity.

Have you noticed that nature operates on a very clear rhythm or cycle.

  • The sun rises and then the sun sets.
  • The tide goes out then the tide comes back in.
  • We breath out and then we breath in. It wouldn’t be a good day if all we did was breathe OUT!
  • If you connect your heart to an ECG machine, your heart beat goes in waves like this … If the line is flat, you are in big trouble! Yet that is how we often live our life – we go and we go and we go!

Self care teaches us the importance of balancing activity with rest, engagement with disengagement. In fact, to be fully engaged with any activity you need commensurate times of disengagement – for recovery and renewal. 

I prefer to see life as a series of sprints rather than a marathon. Marathon runners are amazing people but have you noticed how thin and gaunt they often look – kind of like greyhounds! That’s because they run and they run and they run and they run … seemingly never stopping. In contrast, sprinters often look pretty muscular. That’s because as intense as the race is, in a 100 or 200 metres they will be resting again. 

One of the ways to improve your productivity is to work in 90-minute increments. Focus fully on one thing for 90 minutes then have a break. Take a walk, eat a piece of fruit, grab a drink. Then do another 90 minutes. You can probably do 4 or 5 blocks of work in a day. If you do this, you will be far more productive than if you work continually – which will subject you to what is called “the law of diminishing returns.”

Let’s recap our main points:

  • Adrenaline exhaustion is a subtle form of burnout. 
  • Managing our energy is even more important than managing our time. 
  • Create a life rhythm that balances activity with rest, engagement with disengagement. 
  • View life as a series of sprints rather than a marathon. 
  • Try working in focused blocks of time for 90 minutes, a few times a day.

That brings us to the end of our series on ‘Self Care’. I hope you have enjoyed it and found the conversations helpful in looking after yourself. Self-care is not selfish! The best gift you can give others is YOU being a healthy person – in every area of your life. 

You can find written transcripts of each episode on the Soul Food BLOG page. Details are on the resources page at the end of this video. 

This has been Episode 13 of Soul Food with Mark Conner. 

See you next week! 

Visit the Soul Food YouTube channel to watch this episode. For other social media platforms, see https://linktr.ee/markconner.

Many of the concepts on managing energy in this episode were gleaned from the book The Power of Full Engagement by Jim Loehr.

For more in-depth insights about avoiding burnout, see my book How to Avoid Burnout: Five Habits for Healthy Living.

Mark Conner Personal Development, Soul Food

Soul Food Episode 12 – Diet

Did you know that the average life span for Australian men is now 80 years of age and for women, it is 84? But the ‘health adjusted life expectancy’ (or HALE) is only 69 for men and 71 for women. Research tells us that we are living longer but that the last decade of our lives is often unhealthy. The number one cause? Obesity. Over 1/3 of Australian adults are overweight as are 1/4 of our children. This one factor alone is affecting our life expectancy and our quality of life due to its impact on cardiovascular diseases.

My theory is that the best gift I can give my family and my loved ones is to endeavor to live as long a life as possible and be as healthy as I can … within my power.

You can watch this episode on video at the Soul Food YouTube Channel.

Over 3 years ago, Nicole and I moved to a more whole food, plant-based diet. This was for health reasons with both of us having a history of high cholesterol and heart disease in our family. We have both benefited from this change, in increased energy, cholesterol reduction, and weight loss (for myself particularly).

I’ve lost over 10 kilograms in that time. 

I’ll never forget bringing in the groceries a while back and Nicole noted that one bag of oranges weighs 3 kgs. By losing 10 kgs, it was the equivalent of me no longer carrying around over 3 bags of oranges! No wonder my energy and vitality has increased. 

Dr. Michael Gregor is the author of the best-selling book How Not To Die: Discover the Foods Scientifically Proven to Prevent and Reverse Disease. In this book, he talks about the 13 leading causes of death in our time and shows how each one of them is affected by our diet, can be prevented by a healthy diet, and can even be reversed by adopting a healthier diet. His main point: we will all die one day … but why die of something totally preventable!

Imagine if instead of putting petrol into your car, you pour in gravel, oil, cordial, grass, and stones. Eventually, your car will break down. If you believe in God, you could pray and say, “God please heal my car!” Well, maybe God could heal your car … but will God heal your car? Probably not! You’ve been putting things into it that it was never designed to run on.

I think you get the point.

What we eat on a daily basis has a bigger affect on our health than anything else we do. 

Increasing your intake of fruit and vegetables and decreasing your intake of sugars and processed foods will make an immediate difference to your health. In fact, of you want to lose weight, I think you’ll find that what you eat is even more important than the exercise you engage in.

Talk to a doctor or a dietitian if you need some help. But why not start making some small changes … today. Replace unhealthy foods with healthier alternatives. After all, every bite is a net gain or loss when it comes to our health. As they say, “Nothing tastes as good as healthy feels!”

It’s very important to note that obesity is a complex topic and is affected by social factors as much as nutritional ones. Food choices are massively influenced by income, knowledge, and skills.

Let’s recap our main points:

  1. We are living longer but less healthy lives. 
  2. Many sicknesses and diseases are preventable and even reversible by adopting a healthy diet. 
  3. What we eat on a daily basis has a bigger effect on our health than anything else we do.

That’s all for today. This has been Episode 14 of Soul Food with Mark Conner. See you next week!

P.S. There are many excellent resources and books about diet. I recommend the following but do speak with your doctor and compare the various opinions:

To listen to a 20-minute message on ‘How to Improve Your Physical Health’, visit Mark’s podcast channel.