A New Beginning

Today is the beginning of a new day and a new week. Only a few days ago we experienced the beginning of a new month and the second half of the year. I love beginnings, so pregnant with potential and so full of opportunity. What adventure awaits!

Recently, I came across this poem by John O’Donohue called ‘For a New Beginning’. I hope you find it as inspiring as I did. Here’s to the transforming power of new beginnings!

For a New Beginning

“In out-of-the-way places of the heart,
Where your thoughts never think to wander,
This beginning has been quietly forming,
Waiting until you were ready to emerge.

For a long time it has watched your desire,
Feeling the emptiness growing inside you,
Noticing how you willed yourself on,
Still unable to leave what you had outgrown.

It watched you play with the seduction of safety
And the gray promises that sameness whispered,
Heard the waves of turmoil rise and relent,
Wondered would you always live like this.

Then the delight, when your courage kindled,
And out you stepped onto new ground,
Your eyes young again with energy and dream,
A path of plenitude opening before you.

Though your destination is not yet clear
You can trust the promise of this opening;
Unfurl yourself into the grace of beginning
That is at one with your life’s desire.

Awaken your spirit to adventure;
Hold nothing back, learn to find ease in risk;
Soon you will be home in a new rhythm
For your soul senses the world that awaits you.”

From John O’Donohue’s Bless the Space Between Us.

The Home Crowd

There is an interesting story in the Gospel of Luke about Jesus and his home town crowd – Nazareth. Jesus grew up here. Everyone knew him as ‘Joseph’s son’. After reading the Scripture in the synagogue one Sabbath, people were surprised by how well Jesus spoke. But before you knew it, they were angry with him and drove him out of town. Some even wanted him dead. Ah, the home crowd!

What and who is your home crowd? What is your relationship with them? Do they applaud you or control you? Are you living for their approval or for the audience of one?

Here is a poem I wrote recently about the home crowd based on this story about Jesus.

Ah, the home crowd
Once a kid always a kid
Never let you grow up
The carpenter’s son
A prophet without honour

Familiarity 
Ordinariness 
Just another day
Nothing ever changes
Everything’s still the same 

Missing God
Right in front of you
Not just another day
Something new breaking out
Can you see it?

Time to slip away
Leave the crowd behind
They just don’t get it
Some never will
On your way, Son

Internal security
From another place
Got your approval
No need for applause 
All is grace 

Find open hearts
Ignore closed minds
Leave the angry ones
Can’t help everyone
Go to the hungry and thirsty

[Based on Luke 4:16-30]

God’s Love for Me

One of the most well-known Jesus stories is his interaction with a Samaritan woman at a well, as recorded in the Gospel of John. This woman had come to draw water from Jacob’s well. She was alone and it was midday. This was probably due to her ostracisation from her local community due to her many broken marriages and the fact she was now living with someone who was not her husband.

During their conversation, Jesus said to her, “If you knew the generosity of God and who I am, you would be asking me for a drink, and I would give you fresh, living water” and then, “Everyone who drinks this water will get thirsty again and again. Anyone who drinks the water I give will never thirst—not ever. The water I give will be an artesian spring within, gushing fountains of endless life.”

I love that metaphor of an artesian spring, gushing fountains of endless life. What we long for is not ‘out there’ nor is it something we need to work for (like using a bucket to slowly draw water from a very deep well). It’s right ‘in here’, inside of us and it is a spring in which the water is already flowing. There is nothing we need to DO. Only ‘receive’. The initiative is God’s, not ours.

Jesus paints a vivid picture of God as a generous, giving God. Do we know this? Really know it? Even to those of us who know we are not worthy? Just like to this woman, Jesus offers us fresh, living water – a free, unearned gift of grace, quenching or satisfying our inner thirst.

My prayer for you today is that you will know God’s love for you deep inside. Drink it in and drink deeply. There is an endless supply of LIFE available to you right now. You will never lack. ALL you need is right inside of you – a generous gift from God.

Here is a poem I wrote about God’s love recently …

Feel the overflowing love
The energy of life
Coming my way
From the heart of God

Giving, reaching
Pouring out
Pouring in
God’s love

Goodness and mercy
Pursuing me
Everywhere I go
All the days of my life 

No need to fear
God’s presence promised 
Creator, Redeemer
Maker, Father

Created for His glory
Formed by him
Made by him
Loved by him 

All things working for good
God’s purpose and plan
Providence at work
In all, through it all

I am God’s beloved
Precious in his sight 
Worth more than the world
Called by name

I am loved

‘God’s Love for Me’ by Mark Conner

Welcome to Spring!

Welcome to the first day of Spring! At least here in Australia where I live. This last week I spent time walking along Melbourne’s iconic Yarra River. Wildflowers were bursting into bloom everywhere. Here is one of the photos I took on my phone.

Wild flowers in bloom along the Yarra River in Melbourne Australia.

I then crafted the following poem. I hope you enjoy it. Most importantly, I hope you find increasing levels of love, peace, and joy in this next season of your own life journey.

Spring is here
Sun shining
Birds chirping
Flowers blooming 

Seasons turn
Winter is gone
No more cold
New life 

Come outside
Into the light
Fresh air 
Breathe it in

Possibilities
Opportunities
Dreams
It’s time

The past is gone
Let it go 
Today is here
Embrace it fully 

Gentle movement
Agile motion
Feel the wind
Time to sail

Out from the shore
New horizons 
Adventure time 
Excitement for sure 

Seeds planted long ago
Coming to life
Starting to sprout
Out of the dark

Resurrection
Transformation 
Change
Metamorphosis

Stories to be told
Songs to be sung
Festive food
Time to dance 

Welcome to Spring!

Gone

None of us like to talk about death. It is an enemy that steals away the ones we love. My step-mum, Rene Conner passed away recently. It’s been hard for all for all of us, but especially for my dad. I was walking through their home a few days back – so empty now. A flourishing garden, but no one to care for it now. I sketched the following poem after that.

Just like that
Gone for good
Not coming back
Life is over

Sobering and surreal
The frailty of life
In a moment
It is no more

Memories
Moments
History
Relationships

What really matters?
What lasts?
What’s it all about?
What are we living for?

Left it all behind
Stuff and more stuff
Meaningless now
Of no use at all

The grief and the loss
The tears and the pain
Left behind
We still remain

A hole in the heart
A missing limb
Part of us gone
Never to return

Our life goes on
Each day a gift
No guaranteed future
Will tomorrow come?

Live to the full
Be in the moment
Give it your all
Only love lasts

Stormy Winds

The-perfect-storm-michael-swanson

Have you ever been in the middle of a storm – a literal one or maybe a storm of adverse circumstances? I sure have – many of them and of all kinds. In fact, just over three years ago, Nicole and I were in the middle of what felt like a perfect storm. It was bigger and more fierce than anything we had ever experienced before and it was totality beyond our ability to control or navigate. There were headwinds blowing at us from multiple directions. Everything seemed to be shaking and we felt like we were in a spin of ginormous proportions. Continue reading “Stormy Winds”

The Mystery of our Emotions (Part 2)

Inside

Yesterday, we started talking about the mystery of our emotions. 
 
I am a fairly optimistic person and therefore I have a lot of positive emotions. My family have called me everything from 'Peter Pan' to ‘Tigger'. Yes, I do have a lot of enthusiastic energy … usually from the moment I wake up. 
 
In the first few decades of my life, I had little experience with some of the darker emotions of life such as sadness, grief, disappointment and depression. But as life has gone on, these have come into my world and added new colours to my life. 
 
Three years ago, Nicole and I were in the midst of what seemed like the perfect storm. We were experiencing a diverse array of negative emotions at the time – worry, fear, anxiety, anger, confusion, uncertainty and yes, sadness.
 
As we took off on a plane for our mid-year holidays I wrote a poem unpacking the sadness that I felt. 
 
It’s okay to feel sadness. Even Jesus wept. The Psalmist even believed that God stores our tears in a bottle.
 
Overwhelming sadness
Like a wave crashing hard
A dam of tears about to burst
I can barely hold it back
 
Is this it?
Paradise lost
Dreams faded
Hope run dry
 
Do I want out?
Back to simplicity
Is this what life's meant to be?
Return to innocence
 
Feeling alone
Fragmentation
Too many hills climbed
Can I take one more?
 
Uncharted territory
Unfathomable complexity
Perplexing riddle
Trying to be solved
 
Incredibly tired
Out of reserves
Running on empty
Emotionally rung out
 
Time for a break
Replenishing holiday
Away to the mountain
Drink deeply of the river
 
Fresh perspective
No hasty decisions
Do what's right
No reactionary emotionalism
 
Another storm to navigate
Think clearly
Stand still
Be courageous
 
Stay the course
 

A New Day

Nicole and I are currently spending 12 days in Germany while on our way to Russia, where I will speak at three church leaders' conferences (in St Petersburg, Moscow and Novosibirsk). Our day is about over here in the northern hemisphere and we have had a wonderful time touring some of the beautiful southern Germany countryside. Today we drove from Triberg in the Black Forest all the way to Fussen where we will visit a few famous castles tomorrow. On the way, we stopped for lunch at Lindau, a picturesque town right on the edge of magnificent Lake Constance with views to the Alps across the water.

Back in our homeland of Australia, a new day is just beginning. I love the beginning of a new day. A few years back, I wrote a poem called 'Today'. I share it with you again as encouragement to you, wherever you are on your life's journey. 

As with all poetry, read it slowly. Stop on a word or a line here and there that may jump out to you. Reflect on it for a moment. The aim is not just to 'get through the poem' but to allow the poem to 'get through to you'.

Sunrise

TODAY

A new day.
A fresh start
A clear page
Wonders waiting to be discovered. 

New dreams yet to be born.
Visions still unseen.
Insights unknown.
Wisdom from God's world. 

Yesterday is gone.
Only a memory now.
Lessons learnt.
Experience gained. 

Tomorrow's not yet here.
A future unrealized.
Always beyond our grasp.
The distant horizon. 

Live in this moment.
Right here right now.
The present is what we have.
Pregnant with possibility.

HE is here.
All you need.
Nothing lacking.
Fulness revealed.

Conquer fear.
Walk in faith.
Love is here.
Trust and wait. 

Wide awake.
Seize the day.
Drink it full.
All the way. 

Nothing wasted.
Nothing spared.
Brave and strong.
Free at last. 

Climb your mountain.
Sing your song.
Reach for the sky.
Everything belongs. 

Life is adventure.
Scary for sure.
Well worth living.
No regrets. 

This is your day.

Today. 

A Bigger World

I hope you enjoyed John O'Donohoe's poem,  For A New Beginning.

It really resonated with me, mainly because of the changes and transitions that Nicole and I have navigated over these last few years. Back in October 2015, I was at Phillip Island with some pastors on a two-day retreat. Early one morning I went for a walk on the beach and down to an area where there is a heap of rock pools. I took the photo below on my iPhone.

IMG_8331 

You can see in the foreground this beautiful rock pool which is a complete eco-system, teeming with life.  For any fish or marine life in there, that is their entire world – and it is a BIG world to them. But an outside perspective helps you to see that there are other rockpools, some of them smaller and some of them even bigger. Then if you dare to look right to the horizon, you will see the ocean. Now there's an even bigger world!

Each of us lives in a context, an environment, a rock pool if you will. We need to find a sense of 'home' there and be rooted and faithful to that world in which God has placed us. But at times, God calls us to leave our comfort zone and move to other places – to another world.

All of these thoughts and insights as I stood on the shore that morning were part of the shaping of my own journey and eventually led to me deciding to leave the world I had been a part of for over 30 years.

That day, as I contemplated all of this, I wrote the following poem – A Bigger World

Seems so big
Everything that is
My world

Seasons come
Seasons go
It's all I know

Yet there's more
So much more
Small world

Stay and shrink
Leave and grow
I don't know

Called to stay?
Or chase my curiosity?
Big decisions

Time to leave?
Or stay the course?
Hard to know

New perspective
Larger horizons
The Truman Show

Fear or faith?
Stay or change?
The Village

New worlds call
Adventure beckons
Freedom song

Out of the box
Break the mold
It will be different

Leap of faith
Faith of leap
Liminal places

Let it go
Don't hold on
Opportunity knocks

Necessary endings
Possible beginnings
Transition time

Out of the cocoon
From dark to light
Metamorphosis

God's world
Bigger world
My world

For a New Beginning

Sunrise-landscape-render-retouches

My wife, Nicole, just returned from a week's Silent Retreat on the beautiful Bellarine Penisula in Victoria. The dogs (we have two – Oscar, the kindest labrador you've ever met, and Nikki, the naughtiest, yet smartest pugalier ever to enter the world) and I managed to survive while Nicole was away. In fact, we had a lot of fun and I enjoyed the time to work in the garden, watch some sport, hone my cooking skills, read a lot, and do a heap of office tasks and projects. 

While away, Nicole sent me this poem by Irish poet, author and priest John O'Donohue called "For a New Beginning". It really captures our personal journey at this stage in the story of our life and was therefore very meaningful to me. I hope it resonates with you in some way too.

Enjoy …

In out-of-the-way places of the heart,
Where your thoughts never think to wander,
This beginning has been quietly forming,
Waiting until you were ready to emerge.

For a long time, it has watched your desire,
Feeling the emptiness growing inside you,
Noticing how you willed yourself on,
Still unable to leave what you had outgrown.

It watched you play with the seduction of safety
And the gray promises that sameness whispered,
Heard the waves of turmoil rise and relent,
Wondered would you always live like this.

Then the delight, when your courage kindled,
And out you stepped onto new ground,
Your eyes young again with energy and dream,
A path of plenitude opening before you.

Though your destination is not yet clear
You can trust the promise of this opening;
Unfurl yourself into the grace of beginning
That is at one with your life’s desire.

Awaken your spirit to adventure;
Hold nothing back, learn to find ease in risk;
Soon you will be home in a new rhythm,
For your soul senses the world that awaits you.

Next: A Bigger World

Reflections on Midlife

In my recent farewell address, I noted how differently you see life at age 55 compared to your early 20s and 30s. When you are young, you think you will live forever! But life and time do move quickly. The stages of life seem to progress with increasing speed: childhood, adolescence, early adulthood, midlife, mature adulthood and late adulthood and before you know it, the end of life is in sight. Yes, it's a sobering thought.

As we move into another weekend, why not take some time aside, find a quiet place, and reflect on your own life. Where have you come from? Where are you now? Where are you going? What time is it for you? What is your current stage of life and how should that inform the way you live and what is important to you (see links to various BLOG posts above)? 

Recently, I was doing just that – reflecting on my own stage of life: midlife. It is an interesting time for me. I haven't been this way before. This is new territory. I am at a different stage of life. At 55 years of age, I'm not yet 'old' but I'm definitely not 'young' anymore. I feel different and I see things differently.

I am at a different stage of my spiritual journey. My faith in God is deeper. But I have given up the need for everything to be black and white. I've accepted that there is a lot of grey in this world. I'm comfortable with mystery and paradox – in who God is and in the universe he created.

I am a different leader than I used to be. I don't 'need' a bigger church to feel good about myself. I don't 'need' another significant conference speaking invitation to feel important. Anything 'additional' is a simply a gift from God, not a goal to be strived towards nor the result of me praying hard enough.

With that context, I share with you a poem I wrote on the 18th December 2016 called 'Midlife': I hope it is an encouragement to you, as well as a challenge to live your life to the full.

5c9fd667f6370934bd30544d08d0cdd7

Ageing body
Agile mind
Still feel young
But feeling the grind

Caught between two generations
Elderly parents
Growing kids
Not old but no longer young

Crazy busy first half
Don't want a repeat
What has meaning now?
How do I want to live?

Glitz and glitter
No longer attracts
Climbing the ladder?
Not on that wall

Very aware of my frailty
The shortness of life
The length of eternity
What really matters now?

Family and friends
Being over doing
Character over achievement
Who am I becoming?

Life is a gift
The clock is ticking
But no need to rush
Enjoy this moment fully

Time to reflect
Need to take stock
Halftime
Midlife

Crisis or opportunity?
You decide
Follow the crowd
Or the road less traveled?

Selah

Time

Good morning, everyone.

It's hard to believe it, but Christmas is over and the new year is well underway. I've just returned to work after 3 week's of holidays and I only have 6 more weeks before I finish up in my role as Senior Minister as CityLife Church. I turned 55 years of age back in October and for me, time seems to be moving faster as life goes on. 

I was reflecting on this one morning last week and put a few words together around the theme of 'time' – in my amateur form of poetry. Have a read. Slowly. Savour the words. Think about your life. Enjoy.

Clocks

Tick tock
Hear the clock
Always moving forward
Relentless motion

A new day dawns
Sun rising
Before long
Afternoon arrives

Then a setting sun
Evening again
The darkness of night
Another day gone

What's it all mean?
This thing called life
Searching for a purpose
Need to get it right

Something to decide
Or something to discover?
Make your own way
Or listen for the Other?

So fragile, so frail
So short
A blip in time
Blink and it's gone

History
Geography
Science
Faith

Memories
Experiences
Dreams
Hopes

Yesterday
Today
Tomorrow
Now

This moment
Right here
Breath of life
Be fully present

Time …

The Finish Line

Finishline

Today was my last official day of work for 2016. I spoke at all 5 of our church's Christmas carols presentations this weekend. It was a lot of fun and it was great to see so many people there, especially so many visitors.

It's now 2 months and 8 days till I finish up in my role as Senior Minister of our church. That's 70 days all up but once you take out holidays and some days off, I only have 31 days of actual work left. That's hard to believe! Especially after being employed for 32 years at the same place. 

Early this morning, I was thinking about and reflecting on the idea of a 'finish line' and wrote this poem. Wherever you are in your race, may you be encouraged today.

Ah, I can actually see it now
The finish line
An end to this race
It's not far away

Hard to explain the feeling
To lay down a burden
To let it all go
To actually be done

Surreal but exhilarating
Grief for sure
But more so relief
A fitting conclusion

It's been a long race
Many twists and turns
Hills and valleys
Seemingly unending stretches

Sunshine and rain
Joy and pain
Good friendships
Yet times of feeling alone

Bursts of great speed
Times of catching my breath
Seasons of clarity
Other times only a mist

At times it felt like forever
A race with no end
Caught in a calling
Be faithful to the end

Drinks break ahead
Refresh and refuel
Celebrate the day
Hear the 'well done'

Then what?
Who knows
Another race?
Time will tell

Enjoy the finish line …

The Great Unknown

Sometimes in life we experience 'more of the same' as we deal with the familiarity of routine. At other times, there is the adventure of new things and of entering uncharted waters. That's my life right now.

I am in the process of transitioning out of a staff role at CityLife Church where I have served in various roles for almost 32 years, and for 22 years as the Senior Minister. I'll take 6 months off when I finish at the end of February 2017 then see what new opportunities may present themselves. 

I am also living between our new home in the Sunshine Coast and my continuing ministry work in Melbourne. Talk about liminal spaces. It's a bit like walking back and forth through the wardrobe door into Narnia. "Yes, I remember you!" Exciting but scary. 

During times like this, I find my times of prayer, solitude and reflection even more valuable. My journal is my listening book, enabling me to share my heart and see what God might say to me. I also dabble in a little amateur poetry.

Here is something I wrote a few weeks back that will give you a window into my soul right now. Maybe some of you can identity with it, especially if you are in a season of change right now. It's called "The Great Unknown".

Unknown

About to jump …
Into the great unknown
No guarantees
No promises

A blank page
A new start
Time to reboot
Owner's reset

Start again
Completely new
Identity search
Who am I?

Lay it all down …
Achievements and trophies
Titles and positions
Applause and fame

Into the unknown
Stripped bare
Naked yet free
Having nothing yet everything I need

Into the cocoon
Dark and cold
Unsure and unclear
Ready to die

Yet there will be a light
At the crack of dawn
Resurrection
New life

Caterpillar to butterfly
Metamorphosis
Deep change
Transformation

Time to really live
Spirit breath
Life source
Soul force

Across the threshold
What will I see?
Leave the past behind
Time to be me

Discover, discern
Destiny, design
Holy whispers
Divine fingerprints

Into the great unknown …

[Photo by Thomas Frost Jensen taken in Trolltunga, Norway]

[Read more of Mark's poetry]

 

Life’s Journey

Journey

Mountain top and valley
Sunshine and rain
Calm and storm
Ease and pain

Joy and sorrow
Hope and disappointment
Laughter and tears
Known and unknown 

Darkness and light
Night and day
Summer and winter 
Blue skies and fog

Confidence and fear
Faith and doubt
Answers and questions
Lost and found

Enemies and friends
Acceptance and rejection
Approval and shame
Sin and forgiveness 

War and peace 
Unity and conflict 
High and low 
Life and death

Yet these three remain 

Faith, hope and love 
Father, Son and Spirit
Eternal God
Ever faithful and true.