A New Year Awaits …

I hope you had an enjoyable Christmas and that this holiday season brings you a tangible sense of peace and strength. Before you know it, we will be into another new year – 2024!

It’s been noted before that many people spend more time thinking about their holidays than they do their life. That’s a good reminder of the importance of taking some time to think about and reflect on our life. This time of year is a good opportunity to do that – pause and reflect, then think about the direction you are heading.

If that’s something you want to set aside some time to do, then I recommend reviewing the series we did back in December 2020 called ‘Life Think‘ – 13 episodes designed to help you reflect on and design the life you desire. You can read these as BLOG posts or watch them on the Soul Food YouTube channel.

All the best for the coming year. May it be filled with much joy and meaning for you.

Mark Conner

The Christmas Story

Merry Christmas everyone! I hope this is a special and meaningful time for you, your family, and your friends.

The Christmas Story

Christmas is about the birth of Jesus. Let’s take a few moments today to think about this significant event, as recorded in the Gospel of Luke 2:1-22 in The Message Bible.

Sometimes we develop fairly romantic or sentimental thoughts and feelings about the Christmas story. Even a surface reading of this story causes us to easily miss some of the details. The reality is that Jesus’ birth was not all tinsel, mistletoe, and carol singing. It occurred amidst considerable inconvenience. Let’s pick up the story …

Luke 2:4-5. Joseph went from the Galilean town of Nazareth up to Bethlehem in Judah, David’s town, for the census. As a descendant of David, he had to go there. He went with Mary, his fiancée, who was pregnant.

Ah, the hassle of having to travel from Nazareth to Bethlehem … that’s 157 kilometers! It would have been a multiple day trip, as people walked everywhere at that time in history or occasionally took an Uber donkey. Not only that, the trip was up a steep hill! … and Mary is very pregnant. Ah, the annoyance and the inconvenience.

And Joseph and Mary weren’t even married at this point. Think of the shame and the pain, especially in that culture. Imagine the gossip, the rumors, the talk going on … as they ventured into the public eye. I am sure they would have preferred to be hidden away somewhere.

Let’s keep reading …

Luke 2:6-7. While they were there, the time came for her to give birth. She gave birth to a son, her firstborn. She wrapped him in a blanket and laid him in a manger because there was no room in the hostel.

Jesus was born into a relatively poor, humble peasant family. Not only that, his birth occurred while Joseph and Mary were on the road traveling. How much better it would have been if they were able to be at home.

Then there was no room in the hostel. There must have been crowds of people there. There was no special treatment, privileges, or conveniences for this family. What about Business Class or First Class? Surely, an upgrade? A room with a view!? Don’t people know who they are! Jesus’ very arrival into this world models humility and simplicity. It sure wasn’t easy. It was downright inconvenient.

Christmas 2020

What a year of inconvenience 2020 has been! Because of The COVID-19 pandemic, many of us have had to go through multiple lockdowns for many months, the loss of jobs, the closing down of shops and businesses, isolation from family and friends, sickness and even death for some, and churches not able to meet in person.

Who would have thought? It is highly unlikely that this Christmas you have everyone together who you would like to be with. Some of us have family interstate or even overseas. This Christmas feels a little different. Many of us are feeling tired or still recovering from ’emotional claustrophobia’. It hasn’t been an easy year, by any stretch of the imagination.

The First Christmas

It was the same way at the first Christmas. Yet right into that environment of inconvenience, Jesus was born. Immanuel, God with Us, the Son of God, the Saviour of the world, and the long-awaited Messiah.

Notice two things that come with the arrival of Jesus …

Firstly, JOY.

An angel appeared in glory with a huge angelic choir and announced ‘good news’ to some lowly shepherds.

Luke 2:10-11. The angel said, “Don’t be afraid. I’m here to announce a great and joyful event that is meant for everybody, worldwide: A Savior has just been born in David’s town, a Savior who is Messiah and Master.”

I love that phrase, “A great and joyful event, meant for everyone, worldwide.” This was good news about the birth of a child who would change the course of history … for everyone.

My prayer for you this Christmas is that you will experience an incredible sense of joy because of Jesus. Joy is very different than happiness. Happiness is based on what ‘happens’ to you. It’s dependent on external circumstances. IF you’ve had a good year, IF everyone is going well for you, IF you are blessed and prosperous …THEN you can be happy.

Joy is very different. It is NOT dependent on circumstances or everything going well for you. It is something you can experience deep inside of you – regardless of what may be happening in your life or the world around you. Joy even in the middle of inconvenience! May you know JESUS JOY today and this season. An inner sense of shalom, well-being, and wholeness.

The second thing that comes with the arrival of Jesus is PEACE.

Luke 2:13-14. At once the angel was joined by a huge angelic choir singing God’s praises: Glory to God in the heavenly heights, Peace to all men and women on earth who please him.

Peace is the opposite of strife, tension, or conflict. It is a sense of harmony and well-being. That’s what Jesus came to bring and still does today. My prayer for you this Christmas is that you too will experience an amazing sense of peace in your life – peace with God. the peace of God, and peace with other people around you.

Make Room

There was no room at the hostel for Jesus on the day he was born (Luke 2:7). May there be room in our hearts and lives for him this Christmas Day. As we welcome him into our lives and world afresh … we can know him personally and experience his JOY and his PEACE, even in the midst of inconvenient circumstances.

That’s my prayer for you today.

Merry Christmas!

You can listen to this 15-minute Christmas Day message on Mark’s audio podcast channel or on his YouTube video channel.

Happy Father’s Day!

Happy father’s day to all the dads out there. Becoming a father is one of the true joys in life. Let’s take time to thank, honour and appreciate all the dads in our life today.

This picture is of 3 of my fathers. In the middle is my dear dad, Kevin Conner. He never knew his father but did his best to be the father he never had to Sharon and me. I miss him. To the right is Richard Holland, a spiritual father to me who always believed in and encouraged me as long as I can remember. To the left is Len Meyer, my father-in-law. He doesn’t like attention. But he is one of the kindest, smartest, humblest, and most generous people you will ever meet. Love you, Opa!

The Love of a Mother

This coming Sunday is Mother’s Day, a century-old tradition of taking time to thank and honour our amazing mums. Mums are special people we owe so much to – in addition to our very existence! Most mums are faithful, loyal, hard-working, loving and caring people. We honour and applaud them today. Of course, Mother’s Day brings a variety of emotion with it – gratitude, if you had a great mum, some sadness and pain if you had a difficult or absent mum, and grief if you wanted to be a mum but haven’t yet been able to have children. 

My Mother

My mother was Muriel Joyce Conner (nee Douglas). She was born in Bendigo and grew up there on a sheep farm before meeting my dad and moving to Melbourne. She was a very warm and caring person. I am so thankful for her love and the constant encouragement she gave me as a boy growing up. I miss her hugs and our many conversations together. She passed away suddenly in October, 1990 (see “My Encounter with Grief“).

Kevin and Joyce Conner – Photo taken in Portland, Oregon in the 1980s.

Your Mother?

What was your mother like? Mothers are highly influential people but no mother is perfect. Ideally, they provide care, love, nurture and protection for their children, but that isn’t always the case. In their recent book, Our Mothers, Ourselves: How Understanding Your Mother’s Influence Can Set You on a Path of a Better Life, Dr. Henry Cloud and Dr. John Townsend (best-selling authors of Boundaries) unpack how our mothers shape us – for better or worse, including describing different types of mothers and styles of mothering. These include the Phantom Mum, the China Doll Mum, the Controlling Mother, the Trophy Mum, the Still-the-Boss Mum, and the American Express Mum. It is easy to dismiss the past, but even as adults we need to understand our mother’s pervasive influence on our life.

No matter what our mother was like, we need to give them love and respect, gratitude, and forgiveness. In addition, we need to “leave” appropriately and be who we are, severing that umbilical cord of dependence, as it were. Then we return, hopefully as friends.

The Art of Mothering

All mothers should seek to be the best mothers that they can be. This includes making a choice to:

  1. Love unconditionally. True love is not just an emotion but is an act of will to do what is best for another person, regardless of what they are like. Kids aren’t perfect yet they need to know they are loved … no matter what. 
  2. Affirm frequently. Words are powerful (Proverbs 18:21). Use them for good – to build up your children (Ephesians 4:29). Children thrive under encouragement, affirmation and praise.
  3. Instruct clearly. Establish clear expectations and consequences, then follow through consistently. Teach desired behaviour (what) and the values behind it (why). Example is essential (kids do what they see), as is a loving relationship. 
  4. Discipline lovingly. Loving discipline is about giving appropriate consequences for disobedience, not abuse or harsh, angry punishment.
  5. Empower fully. As children grow and mature, empower them more to make their own decisions and be responsible for their own lives. Our kids are really not ours. We don’t own or possess them. They are gifts …. loaned for a time. Help them become who they were designed to be. Don’t project your own wishes on them. Then trust God and let go of any unnecessary guilt or condemnation for the choices they may choose to make. 

God as Mother?

Sometimes mums can find it difficult to see themselves as a reflection of the image of God. This may be because of the number of male references to God in the Bible, such as ‘king’ or ‘Father’. But God is not male! God created women so if he was a man this would be impossible because we all know that men know nothing about women! 

God is Spirit. He transcends gender yet includes what we know as male and female. Men and women were both created in God’s image. God has both masculine and feminine qualities, including motherly traits of caretaker, comforter and nurturer (see Isaiah 42:14; 49:14-16; 66:13. Hosea 13:8. Matthew 23:37). That’s why it takes both men and women to reflect God accurately.

Mums – like all women, you are made in the image of God. You reflect his nature and his characteristics … even in the mothering of your children. Walk with a sense of dignity and honour. You matter … just because of who you are.

Reflections Questions

  1. What does Mother’s Day mean to you?
  2. Think about your own mother. What are you thankful for? What was difficult?
  3. Reflect on the “art of mothering”. Reflect on how God is the model of the perfect parent. 
  4. Consider the feminine aspects of God’s nature – love, care and nurture. Why do we struggle with seeing God this way? What do we miss out by thinking of God only in male images?
  5. Reflect on the life of Mary, the mother of Jesus. What can we learn from her? A few years back, I shared a message on “Jesus and His Mother“. You can listen to the message on my podcast (also available on Apple Podcasts and Spotify) or watch the message.
  6. Finish by saying a prayer for all of our family relationships. 

Happy Easter!

Welcome to the Easter weekend, 2020. What an unusual and strange world we live in right now. I hope you found my few thoughts on living in turbulent times helpful and encouraging.

Easter is an important date on the yearly calendar, and especially for Christians who take this time to reflect on the death, burial and resurrection of Jesus. It reminds us of the good news that death does not have the last word.

It’s a three day reflection of three important days that took place over 2,000 years ago.

  • Friday – a day of rejection, betrayal, suffering, pain and death.
  • Saturday – a day of waiting, wondering, disappointment, doubts and questions.
  • Sunday – a day of new life, as well as surprising joy and celebration.

This three day experience becomes a metaphor or motif, not just for Jesus, but for our own lives. I am sure you have had a few Fridays along the way – times of suffering and pain when you wondered where God was. Then there are the Saturdays – seasons of disappointment, waiting, doubts and questions. Then there are the wonderful Sundays of surprising joy, answered prayer, and new things coming to birth.

It is also a pattern for life in general. Right now our world is in a Friday/Saturday of pain, suffering, and wondering about this coronavirus pandemic. There is a lot of uncertainty and plenty of unanswered questions. But we will get through this. There will be life on the other side of this global crisis. Sunday is coming.

Over this Easter weekend, I pray that you take some personal time to reflect on the meaning of all of this, as well as to spend time with family and friends, as appropriate. Physical distancing (a better term than ‘social distancing’) does not mean relational distancing. Let’s keep connected.

Here are some resources and insights around the Easter theme that you might find helpful over this weekend:

I hope you enjoy this weekend and have some meaningful moments, even in your time of isolation.

How to Create a Culture of Generous Givers in Your Church

Over these last few years, I have been coaching quite a few pastors across Australia and a few overseas. It’s a privilege to come along side these church leaders from different denominations and contexts and offer them encouragement and advice in a wide range of aspects of personal ministry and church life.

One of the most common questions I am asked it about church finances and especially how church leaders can raise more money for the vision they have for their church. Because of this, I was excited to be asked by Generous to participate in an upcoming webinar on “How to Create a Culture of Generous Givers in Your Church”.

If this is of interest to you, join me as I share practical ways that pastors can inspire their congregation to be more generous in every area of their lives and to contribute financially to the vision of the church.

Check out the Facebook video below …

Why not sign up now!

The Christmas Season

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It’s the Christmas season! People are carefully selecting gifts for their loved ones, the air is filled with the sound of Christmas carols, bright Christmas lights sparkle each night, and many are looking forward to some time off with their family and friends.

For people of faith, this time of year is a reminder of God’s amazing love for the world demonstrated by sending his only Son as a baby – born to be the long-awaited Saviour of the world. Yes, Jesus came to bring peace, love and joy to a fallen and broken world. He still does, if we will only open our hearts to receive and then pass it on.

For some people, Christmas can be a time of grief as they are reminded of loved ones or things they have lost. Just over 10 years ago, my wife’s mother, affectionately known as ‘Oma’ (German for grandmother), passed away very suddenly after a battle with cancer. We were devastated. Then ten days later, our three teenage children and two of their friends were involved in a serious car accident. All of them spent New Year’s Day in the emergency ward of a hospital. What an incredibly traumatic time it was for our family and everyone involved.

These words from the Old Testament book of Lamentations (3:20-23) were meaningful to me at the time:

“I will never forget this awful time, as I grieve over my loss. Yet I still dare to hope when I remember this: The faithful love of the Lord never ends! His mercies never cease. Great is his faithfulness; his mercies begin afresh each morning.” NLT.

Whatever your year has been like, with all of its joys and it’s pains, it’s ups and it’s downs, it’s laughter and it’s tears, my prayer is that you will have a meaningful Christmas and a relaxing holiday season. Know that you are deeply loved by God. He is with you and in him you have all you truly need.

Merry Christmas.

[Image above: Nativity, He Qi, ink and gouache on rice paper]

Easter Reflections

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The signs of Easter are all around us – cooler weather, school holidays, an upcoming long weekend, hot cross buns and extra church services to cater to people's faith which comes in all shapes and sizes. For many people, it is also a time to reflect on some important events that took place over 2,000 years ago – the death, burial and resurrection of Jesus Christ. No doubt, this is the foundation of the Christian faith. If Christ did not die and rise again, then our faith is useless (1 Corinthians 15:13-14).

The Gospels all tell us WHAT happened during this Passion Week. Tragically, Jesus was betrayed, denied, falsely accused and eventually killed by the cruel death of crucifixion at the hands of the Romans. Thankfully, three days later he rose from the dead and was seen by numerous witnesses. We are then told that Jesus ascended into heaven from which he would one day return.

This was all done to fulfil what the prophets of long ago foretold. But what was going on with Jesus on that cross? What was God up to? WHY did Jesus die? Disciples of Jesus, critics of Christianity, and biblical scholars have been reflecting on, discussing and debating the answers to these vital questions for centuries now. More recently, the conversations have increased and some of the typical trite answers are being questioned as being inadequate. 

One of my favourite thinkers and writers is N.T. Wright. As one of the world's leading Bible scholars, he has written numerous books about Jesus, the apostle Paul and the New Testament period. His most recent book is called The Day the Revolution Began: Reconsidering the Meaning of Jesus' Crucifixion. He argues that the Protestant Reformation did not go far enough in transforming our understanding of its meaning. Wright argues that Jesus’ death on the cross was not only to forgivd us of our sins; it was actually the beginning of a revolution commissioning the Christian faithful to a new vocation — a royal priesthood responsible for restoring and reconciling all of God’s creation. Wright argues that Jesus’ crucifixion must be understood within the much larger story of God’s purposes to bring heaven and earth together. The Day the Revolution Began offers a grand picture of Jesus’ sacrifice and its full significance for the Christian faith, inspiring believers with a renewed sense of mission, purpose, and hope, and reminding them of the crucial role the Christian faith must play in protecting and shaping the future of the world. 

Another thought-provoking recent publication is The Crucifixion of the Warrior God by pastor and author Gregory A. Boyd. Boyd proposes a revolutionary way to read the Bible in this epic but accessible study. A dramatic tension confronts every Christian believer and interpreter of Scripture: on the one hand, we encounter Old Testament stories of God commanding horrendous violence. On the other hand, we read the unequivocally nonviolent teachings of Jesus in the New Testament. Reconciling these two has challenged Christians and theologians for two millennia. Throughout Christian history, various answers have been proposed, ranging from the long rejected explanation that these contrasting depictions are of two entirely different gods to recent social, cultural, and literary theories that attempt to dispel the conflict. The Crucifixion of the Warrior God takes up this dramatic tension and the range of proposed answers in an ambitious constructive investigation. Over two volumes, Gregory A. Boyd argues that we must take seriously the full range of Scripture as inspired, including its violent depictions of God. At the same time, he affirms the absolute centrality of the crucified and risen Christ as the supreme revelation of God. Developing a theological interpretation of Scripture that he labels a "cruciform hermeneutic", Boyd demonstrates how the Bible's violent images of God are reframed and their violence subverted when interpreted through the lens of the cross and resurrection. Indeed, when read in this way, Boyd argues that these violent depictions bear witness to the same self-sacrificial nature of God that was ultimately revealed on the cross. 

Two books well worth reading, as we continue to seek to mine the depth of the significance of what took place that first Easter.  

For my own personal reflections on some of the various answers to why Jesus died, see my previous BLOG post Why Did Jesus Die? based on a message I gave on Good Friday a few years back. 

One thing we know is that Easter is a revelation of the love of God for all humanity.

The apostle John put it so eloquently:

John 3:16. For God loved the world so much that he gave his one and only Son, so that everyone who believes in him will not perish but have eternal life. NLT

Why not take a few moments to reflect on the lyrics of this hymn of praise: Oh, Love of God. My favourite version of this song is by Kelly Willard and it is available to listen for free on You Tube.

I pray many blessings on you and your family this Easter.  

Are You Ready for the New Year?

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Well, Christmas 2016 is done and dusted. Now it’s time to prepare to enter a new year. During transitional seasons such as this, it’s always good to stop and do three things: Reflect, Review and Re-calibrate. 

Firstly, reflect on the year that is about to finish. What happened? What went as expected? What surprises came your way? What are you thankful for? What pain did you experience? What will you be glad to put behind you?

Secondly, review. What did you learn? We sometimes believe that we learn from experience but this is not necessarily true. It is easy to repeat the same patterns year after year. It is only when we reflect on and review our experiences that we have the potential to turn them into insight and hopefully into lasting life change.

Finally, recalibrate. What lessons from this year will you take into next year? What will you do differently next year? What will you stop doing? What will you start doing? What adjustments do you need to make? What is ‘true north’ for you? Success is not always about going faster but rather about making sure we are heading in the right direction with our lives.

I encourage you to set aside some time to do these three vital tasks. You’ll be glad you did.

Here’s to a terrific new year, moving into all the good things God has in store for you!

P.S. To help you in this process, be sure to check out some of my earlier New Year's BLOG posts:

Merry Christmas (2016)

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Merry Christmas!

Last weekend, I participated in my final Christmas Carols production at the church where I have served for over 30 years. It was a fun time together – singing carols, listening to our amazing singers, musicians and creative teams inspire us, watching the bright-eyed children, and sharing about Jesus as THE gift we all need at Christmas. 

I do pray that you have an enjoyable Christmas and holiday season. It's been a joy to share with you via this BLOG through the year and I look forward to what is yet to come as we continue on this journey called life. 

P.S. Over the years,  I've written a variety of posts about Christmas. Here are a few for your enjoyment:

What Would Jesus Say to Santa Claus?

It's hard to believe we are just 10 sleeps away from Christmas! 

I really enjoy the Christmas season. It's a time to enjoy family and friends, way too much delicious food, some time off and a reminder of God's greatest gift to our world – Jesus Christ. Of course, most followers of Jesus know that Jesus probably wasn't born on 25th December. No shepherd worth their salt would have their sheep out in the fields in the northern hemisphere at that time of year! And we know that Christmas has a lot of trappings that had nothing to do with Jesus' arrival over 2,000 years ago.

In reality, the early Christians borrowed a pagan festival from the Roman Empire and added new meaning to it. I guess in some ways we could say that today the pagans are returning the favour, as much of the Western World seems intent on removing anything 'Christian' from Christmas, with nativity scenes and some Christmas carols being banned. 

 Over the years, I've written many posts about Christmas. One of the most popular was from a message I gave back in 2008 entitled "What would Jesus say to Santa Claus?" I thought I'd re-post it this year for your enjoyment.

Merry Christmas!

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What Would Jesus Say to Santa Claus?

Have you noticed that Santa Claus has gradually been taking centre stage at Christmas of late and that Jesus has been forced to take more of a back seat? Who is this Santa guy and where did he come from?

Christmas is the most widely celebrated holiday in Western world. It was Pope Gregory that established 25th December as the supposed birth of Christ. "Christmas" literally means "mass of Christ". Christians after the time of Constantine converted a number of pagan festivals, adding Christian elements to them. To the December winter solace and various harvest festivities, they added a nativity crib and the singing of Christmas carols. Eventually, the Santa Claus image emerged – with sled, reindeer, and a sack of toys. It was an American invention that first appeared in a 1868 drawing. However, the Father Christmas legend was based somewhat on a fourth century bishop by the name of Saint Nicholas.

So anyway … what would Jesus say to Santa Claus? Here's what I think he might say …

1. "Thanks for encouraging the spirit of giving." Yes, I think Jesus would have something positive to say to Santa Claus. We live in a world of increasing selfishness. Christmas is a time when we think more about others, which is a good thing. The world becomes a better place when we adopt more of a giving attitude in life, as well as one of gratitude, affirmation, and encouragement.

2. "True fulfilment is not found in things." Santa’s focus at this time of year is based on a belief that more things will make people happier. But people need more than mere things. Things may be nice but ultimately they never fully satisfy. What we really need is the love, peace, and joy that only God can provide through a relationship with him and with other people. Let's "love people and use things" – not the other way around.

3. "Good works aren't enough." Santa's philosophy in life is one of being rewarded for what you do – for being nice rather than naughty. The truth is that none of us are ever good enough. All our efforts fall short. That's why Jesus came – to live and then to die for our short-comings … and then to offer us eternal life … as a free git, not as a reward for our good deeds. Christmas is not about what we have done but about what God has done for us … in Christ.

4. "You're not the reason for the season." Christmas is about Christ. Jesus came to earth as the Saviour of world. He is the eternal Son of God who arrived on earth 2,000 years ago. Santa Claus is a recent addition, an add on. This celebration isn’t about him. Jesus Christ is the most influential person in history. We mark time by his very arrival. Jesus is the "hinge of history". Let's keep the "Christ" in Christmas. Remember, HE is the real reason for season!

5. [Spoiler ALERT!] "You're not real, but I am." Santa Claus is a figment of people’s imagination, a mythical hero. Sorry kids, but Santa isn’t real (parents, ease it to them slowly!). He's merely a character – like Mickey Mouse or Buzz Light Year. Jesus is real. You can’t see him but he is alive. He is not a myth or a legend or an imaginary person. He is not only real, but he’ll be back. However, his second coming won't be like his first coming. He will come in power and glory and every eye will see him.

Can you see that the Gospel of Jesus is quite different than gospel of Santa Claus? Where is the focus of our faith today? In Santa Claus or Jesus Christ? Jesus is knocking at door of each person's heart. Do we have room for Jesus? I believe that he is the true and living God, the Prince of Peace, the Saviour of the world, offering us forgiveness and real life. Let's turn to him and place our faith in him today. Let's follow him and live for him.

Christians: don't picket Santa Claus! Don't become an old scrooge or a humbug Christian. Just because Santa is an anagram for Satan doesn't mean that he is the devil incarnate! Jesus Christ is the true meaning of Christmas. Let's bring him back to centre stage!

P.S. For background on the concept of "What Would Jesus Say …" see this previous post.

Update on Mark and Nicole Conner

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At a Special General Meeting on 6th October, the CityLife members confirmed by an overwhelming majority the unanimous nomination by the Board of Elders of Andrew Hill as the next Senior Minister of CityLife Church (read my initial announcement about leadership transition back in February 2016, in case you missed that).
 
I congratulate Andrew on this appointment and look forward to working with him over the next few months to ensure a smooth transition for him and the church. Good days are ahead. 

February 2017 will be a big month for our church as we celebrate our 50th anniversary (11-12th Feb), have my farewell (18-19th Feb), and have Andrew's official induction as the new Senior Minister (25-26th Feb).

What's next for me? Once I finish in my current role at the end of February 2017, I will take 6 months off then most likely move into a montage of contributions, including some more writing, mentoring/coaching of leaders, and speaking/travel. Of course, Nicole and I are open to anything God may bring our way in terms of a new assignment. We have decided to relocate to the Sunshine Coast, Queensland as our base for this next season of life and ministry.

Thanks so much for your prayers and support during this significant period of change for us and CityLife Church.
 

Jesus and His Mother

MaryAs Jesus was dying on the cross, he was not completely alone. There were a small group of people who loved him dearly, right there until his last breath (John 19:25-27). They demonstrated great courage just to even be there. One of them was Mary – Jesus’ mother. I am sure Mary did not always understand her Son, Jesus (what he was up to and why he did what he did) but she always loved him. Her presence there was the most natural thing in the world for a mother. Jesus might be a criminal in the eyes of the Roman government, but he was her son. Imagine the anguish of watching your own son die. The undying love of a mother was on full display at the cross – through the heart of Mary.

Despite the agony he was experiencing with the entire salvation of the world hanging in the balance, Jesus saw his mother Mary and thought of her well-being in the days ahead. He could not entrust her to his brothers, as they did not yet believe in him (John 7:5) and Joseph had most likely passed away. Here was his mother, a widow, alone. He was her eldest son. Would she be okay? Who would look after her? There was John – his beloved disciple but also his cousin (Salome’s, Mary’s sister’s, son). So Jesus committed Mary to the care of John and John to the care of Mary, that these two would comfort each other’s loneliness when He was gone.

Notice Jesus’ care and respect for his mother. It was not uncommon for a crucified person to make a pronouncement or distribute their estate from the cross. Jesus had nothing – no home or possessions … but he had a mother – Mary. The Gospels record important words of Jesus from the cross, such as “My God, My God why have you forsaken me?”, “It is finished!” and “Into your hands I commit my spirit” – all sacred and treasured. But I think these are some of the most moving words Jesus spoke from that cross – demonstrating the love and care of a Son for his mother. Jesus, in his own pain, said, “Please, look after my mother!” One of the last things Jesus did was to ensure that the woman who birthed him, who taught him, and who loved him would have no lack.

Mary herself is an example of a devoted disciple and an exemplary mother. She was favoured by God (Luke 1:26-38), she had a responsive heart to God’s unexpected intentions for her life, she endured great hardship (Luke 2:34-35), and yet she treasured deeply all of the events of her life (Luke 2:19, 51). Not only was she at the cross when Jesus died, she saw him risen from the dead and she was in the upper room praying on the day of Pentecost (Acts 1:14), when they were all filled with the Holy Spirit (Acts 2:1-4).

No wonder Mary was called “blessed among all women.”

P.S. You can listen to my message on “Jesus and His Mother” on my podcast (also available on Apple Podcasts and Spotify) or watch the message.

See also: Mother’s Day 2016

Happy Mother’s Day (2016)

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[Watch this message]

It’s Mother’s Day: a century-old tradition of taking time to thank and honour our amazing mums. Mums are special people we owe so much to – in addition to our very existence! Most mums are faithful, loyal, hard-working, loving and caring people. We honour and applaud them today. Of course, Mother’s Day brings a variety of emotion with it – gratitude, if you had a great mum, some sadness and pain if you had a difficult or absent mum, and grief if you have lost your mum or wanted to be a mum but haven’t yet been able to have children.

Our Mothers

What was your mother like? Mothers are highly influential people but no mother is perfect. Ideally, they provide care, love, nurture and protection for their children, but that isn’t always the case. In their recent book, Our Mothers, Ourselves: How Understanding Your Mother’s Influence Can Set You on a Path of a Better Life, Dr. Henry Cloud and Dr. John Townsend (best-selling authors of Boundaries) unpack how our mothers shape us – for better or worse, including describing different types of mothers and styles of mothering. These include the Phantom Mum, the China Doll Mum, the Controlling Mother, the Trophy Mum, the Still-the-Boss Mum, and the American Express Mum. It is easy to dismiss the past, but even as adults we need to understand our mother’s pervasive influence on our life.

No matter what our mother was like, we need to give them love and respect, gratitude, and forgiveness. In addition, we need to “leave” appropriately and be who God has called us to be, severing that umbilical cord of dependence, as it were. Then we return, hopefully as friends.

The Art of Mothering

All mothers should seek to be the best mothers that they can be. This includes making a choice to:

  1. Love unconditionally. True love is not just an emotion but is an act of will to do what is best for another person, regardless of what they are like. Kids aren’t perfect yet they need to know they are loved … no matter what.
  2. Affirm frequently. Words are powerful (Proverbs 18:21). Use them for good – to build up your children (Ephesians 4:29). Children thrive under encouragement, affirmation and praise.
  3. Instruct clearly. Establish clear expectations and consequences, then follow through consistently. Teach desired behaviour (what) and the values behind it (why). Example is essential (kids do what they see), as is a loving relationship.
  4. Discipline lovingly. Loving discipline is about giving appropriate consequences for disobedience, not abuse or harsh, angry punishment.
  5. Empower fully. As children grow and mature, empower them more to make their own decisions and be responsible for their own lives. Our kids are really not ours. We don't own or possess them. They are gifts …. loaned for a time. Help them become who God has designed them to be. Don’t project your own wishes on them. Then trust God and let go of any unnecessary guilt or condemnation for the choices they may choose to make.

[More BLOG posts on parenting: Wisdom for ParentsParenting TeenagersDamaging Parenting Styles and Some Thoughts on Parenting. There are many good books on parenting but I especially encourage you to check out The Parenting Book by Nicky and Sila Lee]

God as Mother?

Sometimes mums can find it difficult to see themselves as a reflection of the image of God. This may be because of the number of male references to God in the Bible, such as king or Father. But God is not male! [God created woman so if he was a man this would be impossible because we all know that men know nothing about women!] God is Spirit. He transcends gender yet includes what we know as male and female. Men and women were both created in God’s image. God has both masculine and feminine qualities (see Isaiah 42:14; 49:14-16; 66:13. Hosea 13:8. Matthew 23:37). He has motherly traits of caretaker, comforter and nurturer. That's why it takes both men and women to reflect God accurately. Mums – you are made in the image of God. You reflect his nature and his characteristics … even in your mothering of your children. Walk with a sense of dignity and honour. You matter … just because of who you are!

Reflection Questions

  1. Reflect on the life of Mary, the mother of Jesus. What can we learn from her?
  2. What does Mother’s Day mean to you?
  3. Think about your own mother. What are you thankful for? What was difficult?
  4. Review the five suggested tasks in the “art of mothering”. Reflect on how God is the model of the perfect parent.
  5. Consider some of the feminine aspects of God’s nature – such as love, care, nurture, and protection. Why do we sometimes struggle with seeing God this way? What do we miss out by thinking of God only in male images?
  6. Finish by praying for all of our family relationships.

See also: Jesus and His Mother.

Easter Sunday

Easter-sunday

Can you believe it – it’s Easter Sunday! I know – it seems like we just finished celebrating Christmas. I heard one little boy once say, “Jesus was just born, are you telling me he’s died already?”

In many ways Easter is the second half of God’s Christmas gift.

Jesus came into the world as a baby who grew up to show us how to live. We learn so much from his teachings and we are inspired by the amazing things he did. But the pinnacle of his life was his death and resurrection on that first Easter over 2,000 years ago.

On the cross, Jesus took all of our sin, sickness, pain and suffering. Most importantly, death didn't hold him down. He rose again on the third day – with many witnesses seeing him alive.

I believe he is alive by His Spirit today – still transforming human lives.

May you experience His life in your life today – a life full of love, joy and peace.

Happy Easter!

[See also Jesus is Alive!]

John 10:10. A thief is only there to steal and kill and destroy. I came so they can have real and eternal life, more and better life than they ever dreamed of. MB