Welcome to 2021

Happy new year, friends! I hope that you had an enjoyable Christmas and holiday season and that 2021 has started well for you. 

Back in September 2020, we launched Soul Food with Mark Conner, a short, weekly video-cast of encouragement and insight aimed at improving your overall, personal well-being.

Our first series was around the theme of ‘Self Care’. The best gift you can give to other people is you being a healthy person – in every area of your life. There were 13 episodes and we covered a variety of important topics, each focused on one aspect of self-care.

Below is a list of all 13 episodes along with a link to a transcript of the video content. You can watch any or all of these episodes on the Soul Food YouTube ChannelInstagram TV, or the Soul Food Facebook page. Why not listen to an episode you missed or review one that is most relevant for you at the moment.

  1. Self Care
  2. Reflection
  3. Mindfulness
  4. Internal Stress
  5. Emotions
  6. Conflict
  7. Relationships
  8. Hobbies
  9. Personal Growth
  10. Sleep
  11. Exercise
  12. Diet
  13. Energy

New episodes of Soul Food are coming your way soon. 

Welcome to 2020!

Well, it’s about time. I started drafting this post at the beginning of the year but time got away from me. Now January is almost history and we are only eleven months till Christmas.

Every new year brings new opportunities and new aspirations for our lives. I hope yours has gotten off to a great start. My year has started very well with some new things occurring that have brought us great joy.

First, I became a grandfather on 7th January. That didn’t need any work on my behalf but a big congratulations to Josiah and Michelle at the birth of Freya Skye.

I’ve been practicing my very recently acquired grand parenting skills over the last few weeks. As typical grandparents, Nicole and I are totally besotted. Freya sure has a presence that quiets the heart and stills the world.

Second, before Christmas, we moved to a townhouse in Fitzroy North, a suburb in inner urban Melbourne. This is our fourth move in three years. Back in late 2016, we sold our dream home, downsized and relocated to the Sunshine Coast in Queensland. We lived there for a few years and really enjoyed it. Then in May 2018, we moved back to Melbourne to be near my ageing parents, Kevin and Rene Conner, both of whom have passed away in the last 18 months. We have rented in a few different places – Blairgowrie then Elwood. Hopefully, we will be able to settle in Fitzroy North for the foreseeable future. We are close to family and friends and we really love this part of the world’s most liveable city.

Third, this year I plan on continuing my freelance work. This includes the following contributions:

  1. Speaking. I enjoy public speaking and inspiring people to grow and change for the better. Most of the time I speak in church contexts but I have also been speaking for some not-for-profit and business environments lately. My web site has a page where you can keep up to date with my speaking schedule. I’m planning to do more speaking in Melbourne this year, so if I can be of service to you or your organisation, please let me know. Also, be sure to access free audios of many of previous messages. This includes my podcast which is launching new messages all the time (also available on Apple Music and Spotify).
  2. Training. I love providing training for people ion a variety of areas. This year I already have some seminars and conferences where I will be speaking.
  3. Writing. Besides occasional blogging and continuing to promote my father’s many books and training courses (see www.kevinconner.org), I have written seven books. I have the material for another three books ready to write and hope to publish at least two new books this year.
  4. Halftime. I have greatly benefited from the concept and work of the Halftime organisation, founded by Bob Buford. This year I will be facilitating one or two executive roundtables in Melbourne. Visit the Halftime Australia web site for more details.
  5. Coaching. I engage in some one-on-one coaching with a variety of people – some in person, some over the phone, and some via Skype or ZOOM video conferencing. In addition to my decades of life and leadership experience and informal training in the area of coaching, this year I am working towards a Diploma of Professional Coaching with the Australian Institute of Professional Coaches. Contact me if receiving coaching is something you would like to consider.

When I finished up from a very demanding leadership role three years ago, my desire was for a “simpler life, a smaller world, and a slower pace”. Although my life is full, I am definitely experiencing that intention … and loving every minute of it.

Thanks for your support and encouragement.

May 2020 be all you hope it will be.

Stay well.

Birthday Reflections: Here’s to Good Health!

I turned 58 years of age a week ago. Where did the years go? I still feel like I am in my 30s … but then other days I feel like I’ve squeezed the work and activity of multiple lifetimes into this one solitary life.

In the last 12 months, my dad and my step-mother both passed away. With my own mother having passed away in 1990 that leaves only Nicole’s dad, Len Meyer, with us. He is ‘Opa’ to our family and we love him dearly. Parents passing away brings a sobriety to life, reminding us of its brevity and fragility.

This last week I participated in a radio interview. Nicole laughed a little at the advertising which promoted the topic as “What Happens When I Die” with Mark Conner. Death is something we really don’t like to talk about, unless we have to … like at funerals. Yet the death rate is running about 100% at the moment. There is a time to be born and a time to die.

One thing getting older does is make you value even more the preciousness of life. Each day is a gift. Each moment is an opportunity to love God, love people, make a difference, and enjoy life to the fullest.

The most recent research indicates that the average lifespan for Australian men is now 80 years of age and for women it is 84. These figures have increased by over 5 years since the year 1990. However, the ‘health adjusted life expectancy’ (HALE) for men is only 69 and for women it is 71.7. What this means is that, for many people, the last 10 years of their life is not what you would call healthy. The number one contributing factor to this? Obesity. Yes, one third of Australian adults and one quarter of our children are overweight. This one factor alone is affecting life expectancy and quality of life due to its impact on cardiovascular diseases.

How do we respond to this? My current thinking is that the best gift I can give my family and my loved ones is to endeavour to live as long a life as possible and be as healthy as I can … within my power.

Over 2 years ago, Nicole and I moved to a more plant-based diet. This was for health reasons with both of us having a history of high cholesterol and heart disease in our family. We have both benefited from this change, in energy and weight loss, for myself particularly.

[See What’s for Dinner? for some helpful and influential resources of this decision such as the Forks Over Knives documentary and Dr. Michael Gregor’s book How Not to Die. The highly shocking documentary Dominion also presents ethical reasons for choosing a more vegetarian or vegan approach to eating.]

More recently, I am learning that no one eating plan or diet suits every person’s unique physical body (whether that be Paleo, Keto, Atkins, Mediterranean, vegetarian, vegan or whatever!). The field of epigenetics includes discovering your unique DNA and building a lifestyle around that in order to be as healthy as you can. Visit physical health 360 to take a free test and learn about your unique health type (also, watch this intriguing TED Talk about Epigenetics and Personal Health by Matt Riemann the founder of PH360 if you’re interested in more details). As a result of these insights, I’ve made further changes to my lifestyle over the last 6 weeks and I’ve lost another 6 kilograms … without feeling hungry or deprived.

Food intake has had a big impact on our health as does regular exercise. Nicole and I have a dog – a cute little black pugalier by the name of Nikki. We walk her every day, often twice a day – rain, hail or shine. Nikki loves walking … and digging in the sand at our local beach. Walking 5-10 kilometres a day is terrific for our own well-being because of the fresh air and exercise.

One of the biggest health challenges in the West is sitting. The average person sits for 8 hours a day and its killing us. That’s why I like to move it, move it, move it!

I don’t need to know how old you are but how is your health? After all … health equals energy and energy equals life. Some health factors are beyond our control but many are within our power to do something about.

I’m sure your next birthday isn’t far away. Here’s to your own health and wellbeing … and a long life!

“We live for seventy years or so (with luck we might make it to eighty) … Oh! Teach us to live well! Teach us to live wisely and well!”

Moses (Psalm 90:10, 12) – The Message Bible

Mid-Year Update from Mark Conner

Hi there. I haven’t blogged for a while so I thought it was time for a mid-year update.

Can you believe we are into the second half of 2019!? Time sure flies, and more so as you get a little older. I turn 58 years old in a few months time and I often wonder where the years went. It seems like yesterday I was only 20 years old! With more of my life behind me, it definitely makes me consider what is important and what has meaning for me. Simply being ‘busy’ or accumulating more stuff or becoming more ‘popular’ quickly looses its significance. Family and friendships become more meaningful. So does reflection and contemplation. How easy it is to be living in the ‘fast lane’ without ever thinking about your life and its overall direction. Doing work that makes a genuine difference in the lives of people also matters more.

What about you? Have you paused to think about your own life lately, what you are learning and where you are heading? The clock tends to dominate our world – “what time is it and how much have I got done today?” In contrast, the compass is an important measurement instrument that so often gets neglected. It is more about direction than speed and it prioritises purpose over mere progress.

In the last 12 months …

My dad and step-mum, Kevin and Rene Conner, both passed away. They lived full lives and influenced a lot of people. I miss them both but I’m very thankful for their input and encouragement to me over the years. I’ve been putting quite a bit of time into ensuring my dad’s legacy lives on through his teachings. His web site has information about all of his books, a new podcast of his teaching through the years, and two new online video courses, which were his original ‘Key of Knowledge’ seminar that equipped hundreds of people around the world to study and interpret the Bible for themselves.

Nicole and I relocated to Melbourne last May after 18 months living in the Sunshine Coast. We loved our time in Queensland. It was a time to refresh, refuel, and re-calibrate after many decades of crazy-busy ministry leading a large, growing church. However, we missed Melbourne (even the rain … and the four season in one day!) and especially our family. In the end, for us, relationships trumped geography. After renting in the Blairgowrie area on the Mornington Peninsula for a year, we are now renting in Elwood – near the city and the Bay. What a beautiful part of our city.

Nicole and I recently celebrated 33 years of married life. Nicole is engaged in a variety of things at the moment, including teaching part time at Eastern College for their history subjects as one of their adjunct lecturers and she has also recently launched her own narrative therapy practice.

Personally, I am enjoying being part of the teaching team at Bayside Church for Rob and Christie Buckingham where I speak about once a month as well as speaking at other churches (including a few churches in Perth that I am assisting) and training events (see my schedule) and providing personal coaching to quite a few church leaders around Australia. I am thoroughly enjoying this new season of life and ministry. I sure don’t miss the constant pressure and burden of leading a large, complex organisation. For me, it’s all about a “a slower pace, a simpler life, and a smaller world”, which was why I decided to make a significant vocational change back in early 2017 (see “Time to Say Goodbye“).

Last year, I wrote three new books. I have another three books all ready to write but just need to allocate some time to do so. Hopefully, I’ll get started in the next few months. My new podcast is starting to gain more interest too (also available on Apple iTunes).

Well, that’s all from me with this mid-year update.

I’ll finish with a prayer for you from the apostle Paul … which I will be speaking on at Bayside this coming weekend as part of a message entitled ‘Finding Hope’.

UPDATE: Watch the video of this 30 minute message on You Tube.

Celebrating the Life of my Dad – Kevin Conner

Thank you to all of those who attended or watched the thanksgiving service for my dad, Kevin Conner, today at CityLife Church in Melbourne, Australia. We also appreciate the many messages that people have sent in, offering support and prayers, as well as commemorating my dad’s life.

On my dad’s web site, you will find more information, including:

A link where you can watch a video of the funeral service.

Eulogy of his life – 92 years, well-lived.

A Poem I wrote about him, called Nearing the End.

A dedicated web page where you can leave a personal tribute to his life.

Information about what’s next in my dad’s ongoing ministry impact.

Dad was a remarkable man, rising above adversity and rejection to make a significant mark on his Pentecostal religious world at this time in history. He grew up as an orphan, without a mum or a dad, yet he did his best to be the dad he never had to my sister, Sharon, and I. Our loss is heaven’s gain. No doubt, he is hearing from Jesus, “Well done, good and faithful servant, enter into the joy of your Lord.”

Dad, thanks for everything. I love you very much!

Kevin Conner Passes Away Peacefully

Kevin J. Conner

My dad, Kevin John Conner, passed away peacefully today at 2.00 pm in Melbourne, Australia. Having just turned 92 years of age, dad has spent the last year or so in an aged care home where he has had excellent care and regular visits from family and friends. He lived a full life, touched a lot of lives, and was ready to go. Our loss is heaven’s gain. 

Dad was a wonderful dad to my sister, Sharon, and I, and to so many others too. He has influenced untold thousands of lives through his life, his books, and his teaching. No doubt, he is hearing, “Well done good and faithful servant, enter into the joy of the Lord” as he graduates to heaven today.

A public thanksgiving service for Kevin’s life will be held at CityLife Church (1248 High Street Road. Wantirna South. Victoria. Australia 3152) on Wednesday, 27th February at 5.00 pm Melbourne daylight saving time. All are welcome.

UPDATE: This thanksgiving service will also be live-streamed over the internet. Please note: this internet link will not be live until 4.45 pm local Melbourne time (which is 9.45 pm Pacific Coast time in the USA on Tuesday 26th February). A video of the service will be available shortly afterwards for those unable to watch online.

If you would like to leave a brief tribute of how my dad has influenced your life then please do so on the post “Tributes for Kevin Conner“. Enter your thoughts in the ‘Comment’ section. This will help ensure our dad’s legacy continues. NOTE: Please allow up to 12 hours for your comments to be seen on the website.

Thank you.

Mark Conner

Rene Conner Passes Away

Early last Thursday morning, my step-mum, Rene Conner passed away peacefully in her sleep at the Ringwood Private Hospital. She was 89 years of age. It was really hard to see her go but we are glad that she is now free from pain and discomfort. My 91-year-old dad found it very hard, as you can imagine.

Today we have a public thanksgiving service for her at CityLife Church at 12.30 pm Melbourne time.

UPDATE 21st October: You can watch the video recording of the service online at this linkI have summarised part of my message from the service in a post called “What Happens After Death?” and I wrote a poem recently called Gone.

Below is a brief eulogy of Rene’s life.

Continue reading “Rene Conner Passes Away”

Navigating the Storms of Life

Navigating the Storms of Life (JPEG)

Nahum 1:3. The LORD has His way in the whirlwind and in the storm, and the clouds are the dust of His feet. NKJV

The book of Nahum is one of the 12 minor prophets found at the end of the Old Testament. Nahum lived in the seventh century BC during a time of great political upheaval due to the rise of the Assyrian Empire. His messages sought to encourage God’s people who were being oppressed by a seemingly invincible foe. The book opens with a song of praise to God for his power and justice. The spectacular manifestations of nature are symbolic of his power. Continue reading “Navigating the Storms of Life”

Stormy Winds

The-perfect-storm-michael-swanson

Have you ever been in the middle of a storm – a literal one or maybe a storm of adverse circumstances? I sure have – many of them and of all kinds. In fact, just over three years ago, Nicole and I were in the middle of what felt like a perfect storm. It was bigger and more fierce than anything we had ever experienced before and it was totality beyond our ability to control or navigate. There were headwinds blowing at us from multiple directions. Everything seemed to be shaking and we felt like we were in a spin of ginormous proportions. Continue reading “Stormy Winds”

The Mystery of our Emotions (Part 3)

Inside

Yesterday, we talked about sadness and I shared a very personal poem with you. Like journalling, poetry is another way to give expression to our emotions. I am very much an amateur but writing poetry has been worth the effort. It helps me to put my feelings into words, my thoughts on to paper, and to give a voice to my emotions. [Read more of my poems here]
 
In our modern society, men have often been known to bury their feelings and therefore to not be in touch with them. Sadly, these suppressed feelings can fester there and then burst out through the common emotion of anger or even violence. This is not healthy and does a lot of damage. 
 
Can I encourage you to give more attention to your feelings. Slow down a bit and look within. How DO you feel? What is going on inside of you? Don’t just skim through life at breakneck speed. Hurry is a great enemy of the soul and nothing of quality or depth can be done at high speed. 
 
Get in touch with your own feelings. Set aside some extended time to talk openly to a counsellor or a safe friend. Then seek to be more aware of the feelings of others. Practice empathy – which means to “feel with”. Slow down and really listen, not just to people’s words but to their feelings and emotions. Everyone has a story and it needs to be heard. Be a listening ear, an understanding heart, and a supportive friend. 
 
The world will be a better place. 
 
P.S. For extras credit, why not get some friends together and watch the animated film Inside Out, then discuss it together. Yes, the picture above is from the movie 🙂
 

The Mystery of our Emotions (Part 2)

Inside

Yesterday, we started talking about the mystery of our emotions. 
 
I am a fairly optimistic person and therefore I have a lot of positive emotions. My family have called me everything from 'Peter Pan' to ‘Tigger'. Yes, I do have a lot of enthusiastic energy … usually from the moment I wake up. 
 
In the first few decades of my life, I had little experience with some of the darker emotions of life such as sadness, grief, disappointment and depression. But as life has gone on, these have come into my world and added new colours to my life. 
 
Three years ago, Nicole and I were in the midst of what seemed like the perfect storm. We were experiencing a diverse array of negative emotions at the time – worry, fear, anxiety, anger, confusion, uncertainty and yes, sadness.
 
As we took off on a plane for our mid-year holidays I wrote a poem unpacking the sadness that I felt. 
 
It’s okay to feel sadness. Even Jesus wept. The Psalmist even believed that God stores our tears in a bottle.
 
Overwhelming sadness
Like a wave crashing hard
A dam of tears about to burst
I can barely hold it back
 
Is this it?
Paradise lost
Dreams faded
Hope run dry
 
Do I want out?
Back to simplicity
Is this what life's meant to be?
Return to innocence
 
Feeling alone
Fragmentation
Too many hills climbed
Can I take one more?
 
Uncharted territory
Unfathomable complexity
Perplexing riddle
Trying to be solved
 
Incredibly tired
Out of reserves
Running on empty
Emotionally rung out
 
Time for a break
Replenishing holiday
Away to the mountain
Drink deeply of the river
 
Fresh perspective
No hasty decisions
Do what's right
No reactionary emotionalism
 
Another storm to navigate
Think clearly
Stand still
Be courageous
 
Stay the course
 

My Experience with Burnout

B

My first encounter with burnout was back in 2002. I experienced what I would call an ‘emotional valley’ that lasted for about 6 months. I wasn’t sure what was wrong with me but it took everything within me just to make it through the next meeting, the next appointment or the next project. My mood was higher when something was done, rather than when I was leading up to it or during the event or experience. I felt overwhelmed a lot of the time and didn’t have the energy to think much beyond what was right in front of me. It was subtle but very debilitating. 

I grappled with whether this was a mid-life crisis. After all, I had recently turned 40 years of age. Or was it some kind of spiritual attack from the enemy that I simply needed to withstand? Or maybe it was some sort of wilderness experience where God was trying to test my faith or develop my character further? I really wasn’t sure. Everything in my life on the outside was going well – health, family, friendships and ministry – but something was clearly wrong. With the help of a personal coach, I came to realise that I had been living at an unsustainable pace. I would go on a mission trip with a team to India for two weeks, come back on a Friday then preach at my church five times on the weekend then head to the USA on the Monday. As a result, my emotions were simply shutting down, refusing to live at this breakneck speed. They only seemed to provide me with enough energy for what was directly in front of me, and only just. I had nothing left over in reserve nor could I get excited about anything much beyond today. 

It took time to come out of this valley. There was no instant fix or snapping out of this. I had to slow down, take more time off, rest more and lower the high expectations I had on myself when it came to productivity. I shared openly with my family, friends and close team members at work about what was going on. They were are huge support to me during this time. 

I now recognise the indicators when I am nearing this valley again. Similar to when you go slightly over the edge of a road when driving a car, I can feel the danger signs. I have learned to pay attention to these signals and to make adjustments so I don’t go there again. As I mentioned before, one of the key indicators for me is when I am not looking forward to something nor am I enjoying the moment I am engaging in a particular activity. If my highest positive emotion is when I am done with a task, meeting or event, then I am in a vulnerable place. I have also benefited greatly from having an external mentor like Keith Farmer in the years following this experience. He was able to assist me in continually monitoring the state of my emotional tank. 

During 2015-2016, I had another experience with burnout. It was different this time and I wasn’t fully aware of it. Looking back, I see that it was more the result of the cumulative wear and tear of being on church staff for 32 years and of being a senior pastor for 22 of those years. The church I led had grown quite significantly (from about 1,500 people to around 10,000) resulting in a much larger workload, greater complexity, and a large organisation to be responsible for. In addition, at this time the growth of the church had slowed somewhat and, for various reasons, my wife, Nicole, was no longer as involved as she was in the earlier years. I missed her participation very much. My hope for the future, my drive and my motivation levels were at an all-time low. In retrospect, I can see that I was no longer enjoying my job. In fact, during my processing time, Nicole asked me an insightful question: “If you didn’t have your current job would you apply for it?” I had to admit that I wouldn’t. 

This provided the context for me eventually deciding it was time for a change – something that I believed would benefit me, my family and the church too. I officially resigned in February 2016, then a year later in February 2017 I finished up in my role as senior pastor, passed the baton to a new leader, and began a new season of life and ministry. After taking a few months off, I started engaging in some energising activities which perfectly fit my gifting and experience but without the degree of burden, pressure, and responsibility I had been carrying for so long. As a result, just one year later I am experiencing new amounts of joy, peace, and well-being in my life. I feel totally different. I feel so much better. I am enjoying each day and the activities and meetings I am involved in to a much greater degree. I have extra emotional reserves to sustain me. I am so glad I made the change. 

Christian psychologist Arch Hart notes that there is a difference between burnout, stress, and depression. Burnout is more emotional while stress is more physical in its symptoms. Burnout often includes a sense of helplessness or hopelessness, a loss of motivation and drive, and a lethargy.

Are you experiencing any degree of burnout? If you are, I strongly encourage you to give attention to your inner world. Talk to an experienced counsellor, get some help and be courageous enough to make some tough decisions, if necessary. You will be so glad you did. 

Let me finish with these amazingly freeing words from Jesus: 

“Are you tired? Worn out? Burned out on religion? Come to me. Get away with me and you'll recover your life. I'll show you how to take a real rest. Walk with me and work with me—watch how I do it. Learn the unforced rhythms of grace. I won't lay anything heavy or ill-fitting on you. Keep company with me and you'll learn to live freely and lightly.”

Matthew 11:28-30. The Message Bible. 

Here is some additional recommended reading:

The Great Unknown … One Year On …

Great Unknown

Yesterday was the one-year anniversary of me finishing up 32 years of employment in the one place and stepping out into the great unknown. [See my post from February 2017 called "Time to Say Goodbye" and a poem I wrote in December 2016 called "The Great Unknown"). One year on, I am so glad I did. Words can’t quite express the increasing amounts of joy, excitement and meaning I am starting to experience. I am extremely grateful.

So, what have I learned? There are many things, but here are 10 reflections:

  1. Your calling isn’t limited to your current role. In fact, don’t allow your calling to ever become merely a duty or an obligation. Keep following your curiosity.
  2. Sometimes we need to let our roots go down deep and stick it out through the various seasons of life, being faithful where we have been planted. At others time we need to let go, step out of the boat, and go on an adventure to new places.
  3. Your current world is a lot smaller than you think. There is a much bigger world waiting outside the confines of your pond.
  4. Life goes on. No one is indispensable. True, you can't replace people but roles can be filled and the wheels of every organisation or industry keep moving on, one way or another.
  5. Your identity, your significance and your security are not in what you do or the position or title you have but in who you are as a person.
  6. Growth means change and change can be hard, especially letting go, but it is healthy and can be good for you. It helps you avoid becoming ‘risk averse’ and losing the sense of adventure in life.
  7. Once you are through the threshold of change, you will see things from a totally different perspective.
  8. Relationships change through every season of life. Not everyone goes with you on your journey. Some old friendships fade but new ones will emerge. Having those closest to you (especially your family) love and respect you the most is what is most important. 
  9. Life becomes very liminal as your new world continues to unfold. You have to go of certainty and embrace paradox and a lot of loose ends. Go slowly as you walk this liminal path, moving forward with openness rather than seeking a pre-mature sense of permanence.
  10. There will be grief and loss but there is much joy just around the corner.

May you follow your curiosity, even if it leads you out of your comfort zone and on an adventure into the great unknown!

"Life should not be a journey to the grave with the intention of arriving safely in a pretty and well preserved body, but rather to skid in broadside in a cloud of smoke, thoroughly used up, totally worn out, and loudly proclaiming, 'Wow! What a ride!'" Hunter S. Thompson

2018 … Off and Away!

Mark contemporary copy

It’s hard to believe that we are already into February! The new year is well underway. I am loving life and really enjoying this new season. Nicole and I continue to base in the Sunshine Coast, Queensland with regular visits to Melbourne to visit our family and friends.

This year, I am giving my time to a variety of pursuits including speaking, coaching pastors and church leaders, and some work with Halftime Australia. I’ve also been updating my dad’s web site (Kevin Conner), including uploading a number of his books in eBook format on Amazon, creating a new design for my wife’s web site (Nicole Conner), and for my own web site (Mark Conner).

There has been a lot of change for me and my family since this time last year (read: Time to Say Goodbye) but we are so glad that we made the choices we did – to begin a new chapter and to launch out into the great unknown.

I hope that the year is off to a good start for you too.

All the best.

[A special thanks to Tim Harris from www.truetribe.com.au for the new photos]

A Pain in the Back

Lower-Back-PainI was in agony. I couldn't move. As I lay on my bed, the pain down my back and through my right upper leg and calf muscles was so great that I didn't think I would get through it. Eventually, I rolled very carefully to the side of my bed and somehow managed to get up … very slowly. What was happening to me?

It was January this year. I had overdone it with lifting a month earlier – moving house and moving a heap of boxes (762!) of my dad's books with the help of my son Josiah and a few of his mates. Now I was paying the price.

Panadol didn't help much with the pain but Voltarin and anti-inflammatory tablets did … and lots of them. Just to get through the incredible pain each day.

A visit to the doctor in early February indicated that I most likely had 'sciatica' – severe nerve pain coming from my lower back. I have never had nerve pain before but wow, it is painful. Then a CT scan confirmed that I had two slipped lower disks in my back with one of them pressing on a main root nerve. The doctor said the next steps were to see a physio then a specialist neurologist. Mild exercise could help, otherwise I was looking at an epidural procedure or an operation. Bad news. I'm only 55. I was just about to finish up a long term job and enter a new season and yet I now have debilitating pain every day. So discouraging. 

Off to the physiotherapist, first in Melbourne (with some help and advice from my good friend Jason Smith founder of Back in Motion) then in Queensland. "Motion is lotion" was my new mantra. Sitting for extended periods of time was deadly. I had to move … regularly. My upper back, abdomen and leg muscles were all locked up, compensating for the pain elsewhere. A range of stretching exercises to loosen them up (I never knew my gluteus could be so sore!) and other exercises to strengthen my core. Swimming. Walking. Slowly but surely. Still many days of my right leg bones and muscles throbbing with considerable pain. It took many weeks and even months … but eventually the back pain has gone. I can move freely now. But I have to keep my exercises up. No sitting for more than 30 minutes without getting up and moving around. Lots of stretching. But it's worth it. After all, health is energy and energy is life.

A few lessons:

  1. We are stewards of our physical body and it deserves our care and attention. As we get older, we can't do the things we did when we were younger and we need to adjust our expectations. 

  2. When one member suffers, we all suffer. Don't ignore the pain. It's calling for your attention. Attend to it and everyone will eventually benefit.

  3. Motion is lotion. We are made to move. Don't give in to the sedentary life of the overly comfortable. Stand up, stretch, walk, swim, get outside. As they sing in the kids movie Madagascar, "I like to move it, move it!"

  4. Problems can often be solved indirectly. My focus on loosening up the muscles in my upper back and legs helped relieve the pain in my lower back. This is a principle in life. Sometimes simple activities such as exercise, doing a simply task, or getting a good night's sleep can relieve destructive emotions such as depression. Spiritual practices such as prayer and meditation can help us overcome temptation (See Psalm 119:11 and Matthew 26:41). Don't shout at the darkness. Turn on a light.

  5. It's okay to ask for help. I like to look after myself and push through problems until I solve them. However, this one was beyond me. Reading a good book on treating your own back was helpful … but not enough. I am thankful for doctors and physiotherapists who were able to help me work through my pain. 

  6. Recovery takes time. We often over-estimate what we can accomplish in a few days but we under-estimate what we can achieve in a few months. It takes time to end up in trouble and we won't always get out of it in an instant. Pick the right path then persist with it until you are where you want to be. Even 'baby steps' will do it.

I hope that sharing this with you is an encouragement, even in some small way.

Enjoy the rest of your week.