Waking Up to My Own ‘Blind Privilege’

I am white, I am male, I am tall, I am middle class, I am educated, I am straight, and I grew up in a Christian home. All of these things were given to me by birth, not by choice. I did not earn them or do anything to acquire them – other than live out the life I was handed because of my family upbringing and contextual circumstances beyond my control.

I represent the dominant culture.

I have no idea what it would like to be black. To have a taxi driver slow down, notice the colour of my skin then keep driving. I have absolutely no idea what it would be like to be a woman. To work my butt off then be paid less and then be overlooked for promotions simply because of my gender. I have no idea what it would like to be short. At 197 cm (6′ 5″), I see the world from a different perspective than most – from above looking down not below looking up.

I have no idea what it would be like to be poor, homeless and wondering where my next meal is coming from. I haven’t a clue what it would like to not be able to learn whatever I want … because I am illiterate. I haven’t a clue what it would be like to ostracised by my faith community because I am gay or have a different sexual orientation. I also have no idea what it would like to be from another religion. To be in the minority … like Muslims, Hindus or Jews living in Australia today.

Only recently have I learnt about ‘blind privilege’ which simply means to be totally unaware of (‘blind’ to) one’s own privilege. We become so accustomed to our own state of affairs, and life experiences, that we fail to realise or acknowledge our own inherent biased perspective, judgements and evaluations.

When I walk down the street or through a crowd, everyone moves out of my way. In fact, my family often walk behind me, because I make somewhat of a ‘wake’ in which it is easy for them to walk! This ‘privilege’ of walking so freely has happened through most of my adult life and I have never thought much about it because this is what life is like for me. I have never thought that it could be otherwise. In contrast, my wife, who is shorter than me, regularly has to dodge people who are about to walk right through her or step aside for others, mainly men, who don’t have the courtesy to make room for her … because they have blind privilege just like me.

If you are having trouble understanding the current “Black Lives Matter” marches around the globe, it could be because you, like me, have never been the target of racial discrimination. Recently, this movement has accelerated because of the death of George Floyd, an African American man living in Minneapolis, Minnesota, whose neck was held under the knee of a policeman for almost 9 minutes , resulting in his death. Why all the extreme outrage? Because the ‘knee on the neck’ has 400 years of history attached to it. It’s called ‘white privilege‘ and this kind of racism is systemic in our society (please read Peggy McIntosh’s confronting article White Privilege: Unpacking the Invisible Knapsack). As an Australian, I was confronted afresh by this last year when I watched the Adam Goodes’ documentary The Final Quarter.

“… ‘Black Lives Matter’ simply refers to the notion that there’s a specific vulnerability for African Americans that needs to be addressed. It’s not meant to suggest that other lives don’t matter. It’s to suggest that other folks aren’t experiencing this particular vulnerability.”

Barack Obama

“In a racist society, it is not enough to be non-racist. We must be anti-racist.”

Angela Davis

Back in the first century, Jewish men would often begin the day by praying, “Thank you God that you have not made me a Gentile, a slave, or a woman.” Racism, elitism, and patriarchy in full bloom. The apostle Paul would have prayed this prayer many times himself as a religious leader. Yet, because of his encounter with Jesus (one who radically included everyone in his new community, especially those on the margins), he radically confronted this blind privileged thinking. In fact, he turned it upside down. In his letter to some churches in Galatia, he wrote this:

“There is no longer Jew or Gentile, slave or free, male and female. For you are all one in Christ Jesus.”

Galatians 3:28. NLT

For Paul, God was building a new family with NO divisions. It’s meant to be ONE family in Christ. Racial, socio-economic, and gender distinctions still exist but NOT as a basis for discrimination, oppression or exclusion. Each human being is to be treated with great value, as someone made in the very image of God.

Most importantly, those with privilege (in Paul’s case, the Jews, the well-off, and the men), have the bigger responsibility to treat with love, respect and honour those without inborn privilege (in Paul’s case, the Gentiles, the poor, and the women).

What have you inherited by birth that is a privilege? Are you aware of it? Or blind to it? Have you considered what it would be like to NOT have that privilege? To be someone different? To be born somewhere else? To grow up in a different family? Take time to listen to the stories of those who are not like you. Put yourself in their shoes. See the world through their eyes. Then think about how you would want to be treated if you were them … then grab the initiative and treat people that same way (Matthew 7:12).

May we all work for restorative justice, compassion, and peace in our world, starting right where we live.

“We must have courage — determination — to go on with the task of becoming free — not only for ourselves, but for the nation and the world — cooperate with each other. Have faith in God and ourselves.”

Rosa Parks

Birthday Reflections: Here’s to Good Health!

I turned 58 years of age a week ago. Where did the years go? I still feel like I am in my 30s … but then other days I feel like I’ve squeezed the work and activity of multiple lifetimes into this one solitary life.

In the last 12 months, my dad and my step-mother both passed away. With my own mother having passed away in 1990 that leaves only Nicole’s dad, Len Meyer, with us. He is ‘Opa’ to our family and we love him dearly. Parents passing away brings a sobriety to life, reminding us of its brevity and fragility.

This last week I participated in a radio interview. Nicole laughed a little at the advertising which promoted the topic as “What Happens When I Die” with Mark Conner. Death is something we really don’t like to talk about, unless we have to … like at funerals. Yet the death rate is running about 100% at the moment. There is a time to be born and a time to die.

One thing getting older does is make you value even more the preciousness of life. Each day is a gift. Each moment is an opportunity to love God, love people, make a difference, and enjoy life to the fullest.

The most recent research indicates that the average lifespan for Australian men is now 80 years of age and for women it is 84. These figures have increased by over 5 years since the year 1990. However, the ‘health adjusted life expectancy’ (HALE) for men is only 69 and for women it is 71.7. What this means is that, for many people, the last 10 years of their life is not what you would call healthy. The number one contributing factor to this? Obesity. Yes, one third of Australian adults and one quarter of our children are overweight. This one factor alone is affecting life expectancy and quality of life due to its impact on cardiovascular diseases.

How do we respond to this? My current thinking is that the best gift I can give my family and my loved ones is to endeavour to live as long a life as possible and be as healthy as I can … within my power.

Over 2 years ago, Nicole and I moved to a more plant-based diet. This was for health reasons with both of us having a history of high cholesterol and heart disease in our family. We have both benefited from this change, in energy and weight loss, for myself particularly.

[See What’s for Dinner? for some helpful and influential resources of this decision such as the Forks Over Knives documentary and Dr. Michael Gregor’s book How Not to Die. The highly shocking documentary Dominion also presents ethical reasons for choosing a more vegetarian or vegan approach to eating.]

More recently, I am learning that no one eating plan or diet suits every person’s unique physical body (whether that be Paleo, Keto, Atkins, Mediterranean, vegetarian, vegan or whatever!). The field of epigenetics includes discovering your unique DNA and building a lifestyle around that in order to be as healthy as you can. Visit physical health 360 to take a free test and learn about your unique health type (also, watch this intriguing TED Talk about Epigenetics and Personal Health by Matt Riemann the founder of PH360 if you’re interested in more details). As a result of these insights, I’ve made further changes to my lifestyle over the last 6 weeks and I’ve lost another 6 kilograms … without feeling hungry or deprived.

Food intake has had a big impact on our health as does regular exercise. Nicole and I have a dog – a cute little black pugalier by the name of Nikki. We walk her every day, often twice a day – rain, hail or shine. Nikki loves walking … and digging in the sand at our local beach. Walking 5-10 kilometres a day is terrific for our own well-being because of the fresh air and exercise.

One of the biggest health challenges in the West is sitting. The average person sits for 8 hours a day and its killing us. That’s why I like to move it, move it, move it!

I don’t need to know how old you are but how is your health? After all … health equals energy and energy equals life. Some health factors are beyond our control but many are within our power to do something about.

I’m sure your next birthday isn’t far away. Here’s to your own health and wellbeing … and a long life!

“We live for seventy years or so (with luck we might make it to eighty) … Oh! Teach us to live well! Teach us to live wisely and well!”

Moses (Psalm 90:10, 12) – The Message Bible

A Map of Life’s Journey

In a few months time I will be 58 years of age. As I grow older, I find myself reflecting more on my life. Where I’ve come from, where I’ve been, where and who I am now, and where I am going. I also observe other people in their own journey as they seek to make sense of this amazing gift called ‘life’.

I read a few intriguing personal news items these last few weeks (see more below). After doing so, I sketched out the following stages as a sample map of life’s journey. Here is what I observe.

1. Construction

We all grow up in a context – a family, a country, a village or tribe, a set of values, and for many, a religious belief system. This is the ‘construction’ we emerge within. There are shapes, lines, borders, and boundaries that we learn to live and move within. Other people created this construct for us. Often they are the influential people in our life or our environment. It’s what we inherit we when start out on our journey.

2. Conversion

At some point, as we grow up, we start to find ourselves. We determine what we believe and what is true for us. For many people, there is a sense of conversion, where we embrace our world because it works for us. This conversion may be dramatic and at a specific point of time. Or it may be less spectacular and more gradual in its emergence. This is where we identify with who we are, based on the construct we have grown up within.

3. Questions and Doubts

[NOTE: There are people who stop after the first two stages mentioned above and they are content with those experiences … for the rest of their lives. They never doubt or question. Life and faith works for them. They can also tend to view people at the following stages as ‘backslidden’, ‘apostate’, or never ‘saved’. After all, where you stand determines what you see.]

For many other people, questions and doubts emerge. They start to critique the construct they have grown up within and even their conversion experience(s). This often occurs as a result of meeting other people who live outside of their construct and from hearing stories of other worlds and other world-views (belief systems).

For those who have grown up within a Christian environment or construct, the questions frequently centre around perplexities such as the existence of hell, why there is suffering in the world, the exclusivity of the Christian faith, the reliability of the Bible, the historicity of the resurrection of Jesus, and the marginalisation of LGBTQIA+ people.

4. De-Construction

As a result of the questioning and doubts, many people start to de-construct the world that other people handed them. They begin pulling out some of the Jenga blocks other people gave them. Even those passed on from parents, teachers, and authority figures. After a while, the construction starts to sway and some of the blocks topple … and for some, the whole construct comes tumbling down to the ground … with an almighty crash!

5. De-Conversion

Some people move into de-conversion after a time of de-construction. They don’t believe what they used to believe. What was once true for them isn’t true anymore. They would be hypocritical to continue to declare allegiance to the construction that no longer feels like home to them. They have changed. They have moved. Reason has triumphed over past faith.

Recent examples of people who have arrived at this stage of de-conversion include Joshua Harris, a best-selling Christian author, and Marty Sampson, a well-known worship leader from Hillsong. They are not alone … or new. Consider the intriguing de-conversion stories of people such as Charlie Templeton (peer to Billy Graham), Dan Barker and John Loftus … if you dare.

Other people skip this step altogether and move from de-construction straight into re-construction.

6. Re-Construction

Now, a time of re-construction begins. It’s time to build a new world with what truly has meaning, value, and truth to us. We begin to think for ourselves. We choose to be authentic about what we believe, apart from what others have told us we should believe. This new construction may include some aspects, beliefs and values from our past. These are now seen from a new perspective. It also includes new things that weren’t part of our past at all. This can be quite scary … and liberating.

Summary

I am still learning and researching this. I am listening to other people’s stories and reflecting on my own life journey. This is not a linear process. Life is far more circular, unpredictable, and random. Nor is it everyone’s story. Not everyone goes through each stage on this map. Nor do they identify and understand each stage. But someone does.

A few final reflection questions:

  1. What stages of this map of life’s journey do you identify with? Where have you been?
  2. Where are you now?
  3. Have you ever had questions and doubts about your inherited construct? How have you processed these? Were you given permission to lean into them or were you shamed for experiencing them?
  4. Where do you see the other important people in your life right now?
  5. How do you handle or cope with people at different places than you?
  6. How can we better truly listen to and understand other people’s stories more deeply … without judging or trying to ‘fix’ them?
  7. What emotions does this discussion about a map of life’s journey evoke for you? It is resonance, dissonance, fear, anxiety, annoyance, anger or excitement and hope?

I’d love to hear from you. Let me know your thoughts in the comment section below. If you can’t see the Comments section, click on the title of this BLOG post then scroll down to the bottom off the page.

Seasons (Part 5)

One final reflection … (read Seasons Part 1 for background).

Endings Make New Beginnings Possible

Once Paul and his team had said their goodbyes, they were on their way … to Jerusalem then Rome (Acts 21:1), where he would spread the good news of Jesus even further, as well as speak to kings. Good days were ahead for him but none of this would have happened without the ending in Ephesus. Endings do make new beginnings possible.

Some chapters need to be closed before a new chapter can be written. Death is a necessary prelude to resurrection! Jesus’ life is a pattern for our life too. Some things must die so new things can grow. Endings can be opportunities for a new future. Today may be the enemy of your tomorrow. The tomorrow you envision may never come to pass if you do not end some things you are doing today. To get to a new level, a new tomorrow, or the next step, something has to end. What’s in your hand that you are holding on to that is hindering you from receiving the new things God has for you?

“True life success is doing the very best you can at where you are now then not being afraid to end that and take the next step. The endings and the great beginnings are somehow linked together. You can’t have one without the other.” Henry Cloud.

“Great is the art of beginning, but greater is the art of ending.” Henry Wadsworth Longfellow

“Every new beginning comes from some other beginning’s end.” Roman philosopher Seneca

“On the spiritual journey … each time a door closes, the rest of the world opens up. All we need to do is stop pounding on the door that just closed, turn around – which puts the door behind us – and welcome the largeness of life that now lies open to our souls.” Parker Palmer

It’s been just over two years since I made a major change in my life and vocation. It involved everything we have talked about – a significant ending, letting go of the past, and grief. But despite all of this and the adjustments it has involved, Nicole and I are loving this new season of our lives. We are experiencing so much joy. I am finding my new montage of contributions meaningful and fulfilling – speaking and training others, coaching people, writing, and spending more time with my family than I have been able to for so many decades. I sure don’t miss the constant pressure and burden of leading a large, complex organisation. I am so glad I recognised the need for change and had the courage to launch out into the great unknown. No regrets!

Final Comments

What is God up to right now in your life journey? Are you experiencing a new beginning, an in-between time, or an ending? What has ended for you? What needs to end for you? Are you “stuck in a moment”, feeling paralysed (physically, emotionally, mentally, spiritually), unable to move, comfortable and content with a certain attitude or outlook? Could Someone be calling you to stand up, take up your mat, and move to a new place?

Is there a new opportunity awaiting you that will only come after a door closes (an ending)? Is there something you need to let go of, that is hindering you from receiving the new things God has for you? Maybe it is bitterness, resentment, anger, regret, guilt, shame or grief. Is it time to move on?

All the best with the seasons of your life!

P.S. If you found this series of BLOG posts helpful, you might enjoy hearing the message I gave back in 2015 where I first shared these reflections. It is called “Seasons” and it is now available on my podcast.

Seasons (Part 4)

Here is my next reflection … (read Seasons Part 1 for background).

Endings Involve Grief

As Paul left Ephesus, not only were their final words and prayers, there were also tearful and painful good-byes, knowing they would never to see each other again. In the Message Bible, Eugene Peterson translates this moment this way:

“Then Paul went down on his knees, all of them kneeling with him, and prayed. And then a river of tears. Much clinging to Paul, not wanting to let him go. They knew they would never see him again — he had told them quite plainly. The pain cut deep. Then, bravely, they walked him down to the ship.”

Acts 20:36 – 21:1.

We experience grief anytime there is a loss in our lives. Even good changes involve loss – leaving the past behind. Grief includes a range of emotions: sadness, disappointment, frustration, and even anger at times. Usually there is process that includes initial shock, eventual acceptance, then letting go, followed by reaching out to a different future. We need to take time to be grateful and to grieve our losses.

Nicole and I have had to grieve many losses over the years – of some hopes and dreams, of homes we loved, of positions held, of opportunities, of communities and teams we have been a part of, of family members who have passed on, and of friends. Letting go of what is comfortable and familiar is not easy. There have been tears and some painful moments. It’s been incredibly hard at times … but that is part of this journey called life.

Henry Cloud encourages ‘metabolising’ endings for our benefit. We ingest life experiences like we ingest food. Keep what is usable to you and eliminate what is not. Talk it out, cry if you have to, feel your emotions fully, express them, forgive, then let it all go … after you have given it adequate attention (not denial). Only then will you be ready for whatever is next.

In his excellent book, Managing Transitions: Making the Most of Change, author William Bridges notes that it is often not the endings that do us in, it is the transitions. Transitions involve the emotion of change during the in-between times, like a trapeze artist hanging in the air! This can be exciting, yet frightening. In these liminal spaces, nothing is familiar or normal. [Some of you might be interested in a book Nicole recently contributed a chapter to called Neither Here Nor There: The Many Voices of Liminality.]

  • What losses have you had to face? Name them and go gently with yourself. All losses need to be grieved appropriately.
  • What has not changed for you? Identity the continuities.
  • In non-Western countries, they often take weeks or even months to grieve the death of a family member loved one. What can we learn from this practice?
  • Reflect on an ‘in-between time’ in your life where you found adjusting to change extremely difficult. What was most helpful during this time?

Read Part 5.

Seasons (Part 3)

Here is my next reflection on Paul’s transitioning from the city of Ephesus where he had spent the last three years of his life (read Seasons – Part 1).

Endings Require Us to “Let Go” of the Past

Moving on, required Paul to let go and the church at Ephesus to let him go too (Acts 20:36-37). Saying “good-bye” like this is never easy (Acts 20:25). They actually clung on to him, not wanting him to leave. Why? Because most of us don’t like change … unless we are initiating it. In fact, by nature, most people resist change. It’s difficult and we experience it as an unwelcome intruder into our life. We prefer to be in control and operate in familiar terrain. We tend to hold on to the past rather than let it go. But we can’t freeze this moment forever or go back to the way things were. Things change and that means letting go of what was.

Could it be that you are nearing an ending and coming to a time of letting go? Nothing lasts forever. Life is about growth and growth requires change. Not every problem can be solved. Not every chapter has a happy ending. Some things need to die so that others can be born. Resurrection life only comes after death.

Signs of a possible ‘ending’ nearing may include loss of passion, loss of motivation, or simply an unsettled feeling (restlessness) or a calling to something else. This requires much discernment, courage, a great deal of wisdom, and possibly some difficult conversations. Do you simply hold on through the current storm, hoping things will get better, or is it time to acknowledge an ending has arrived? To give up hope when there is victory in sight is a mistake but to hang on to false hope is a fantasy that can end in dismal failure. Admit it when more effort will not bring about a different result.

Henry Cloud writes,

Those with greatest difficulty abandoning things are often those unable to face reality. Understand the lifesaving virtue of hopelessness. Get hopeless about what will not work.

Hope is one of the most powerful forces in the universe. With hope, we can endure almost anything. Hope keeps us going … and that is the problem. When it comes to seeing reality, almost nothing gets in the way like a hope distortion, in ether direction. Sometimes, people keep hoping in spite of a clear reality staring them in the face.

A desire without adequate grounds is merely a wish. Hope is not a strategy. In the absence of real, objective reasons to think that more time is going to help, it is probably time for some type of necessary ending.

If you are in a hole, rule number one is to stop digging.

Get to the virtue of hopelessness by seeing that there is no reason to believe that tomorrow is going to be any different than today. You will finally have gotten to reality. It is hopeless to continue to do what you are doing, expecting different results. The right kind of hopelessness gets us on the right track.

While hope is a great virtue, hope in unreality is not. Sometimes, hopelessness is the best virtue to have, because it can finally get you to the pruning moment.”

From his book “Necessary Endings“.

I found these insights incredibly helpful when I was processing my own decision to make a significant vocational change just over 2 years ago now. It was hard and uncomfortable. It took time to process and there was a lot of wrestling inside my heart and mind. Gaining clarity was a long process.

Interestingly, the apostle Paul took time to seek God and read his own heart. Luke tells us this: “We went on ahead to the ship and sailed for Assos, where we were going to take Paul aboard. He had made this arrangement because he was going there on foot (Acts 20:13).” Although he had eight other comparison on his journey (Acts 20:4), Paul chose to walk alone on this segment of the journey. This was a 32 kilometre walk for him. Was it on this walk that he decided it was time to say a final goodbye to those in Ephesus and move on (see Acts 20:1 then verses 17-22)? Maybe he was preparing his final speech. Either way, he took time to breath in some fresh air under open skies in an environment of solitude and space for thinking.

Walking is a great way to reflect and think about our life. Solitude helps us to turn down the noise of everyone else’s opinions and the clutter of the many distractions all around us. Is it time for you to take a long walk and think about the season you are in and whether an ending is coming in some area of your life? Is there something you need to ‘let go’ of? Could it be an unhealthy relationship, a dead-end job, a home that no longer serves your needs, a ministry that no longer stirs your passion, or the security that hinders you from the adventurous mission God is calling you to?

Read Part 4.

Seasons (Part 2)

Here is my second reflection on Paul’s life and the transition of seasons he was undergoing in leaving the city of Ephesus (read Seasons – Part 1).

Seasons are Marked by Endings and Beginnings

Paul felt an urgency that compelled him to leave Ephesus and go to Jerusalem, though he was completely in the dark about what would happen there (Acts 20:22). In fact, he knew there were hard times and imprisonment ahead (Acts 20:23). What mattered most was to finish what God had started through him – letting everyone know about this incredibly extravagant generosity of God (Acts 20:24). While with the church at Ephesus, Paul gave it all he had (Acts 20:18-21). He was with them totally, doing is best, giving his all (Acts 20:26-27, 31). But now he knew his time in Ephesus was coming to an end.

I know the feeling. I served on staff of a large church for 32 years – 22 years as the Senior Minister. I gave it all I had. I did my very best. But in the end, I was tired … I was spent and ready for a change. I had said and done everything I could and needed to. As I reflected personally and discussed this with my family over a period of time, I sensed that an ending was at hand. It was time to move on.

Life’s seasons are marked by endings and new beginnings. In fact, life is a series of endings, in-betweens, and beginnings, all interconnected. Examples include family changes (getting married, becoming a parent, a marriage breakdown, sickness, aging or death), school changes (from primary to secondary to university), work changes (career changes, downsizing, mergers, acquisitions, promotions or a new boss), house changes (moving, immigration, relocation), church changes (relocation, changing demographics) and ministry changes (transitions, relational changes).

Henry Cloud is his helpful book book Necessary Endings says:

“Endings are a natural part of life – we either face them, stagnate or die. Without the ability to do endings well, we flounder, stay stuck and fail to reach our goals and dreams. Endings are crucial but we rarely like them. We naturally avoid them. That’s the problem. When endings are done well, the seasons of life are negotiated, and the proper endings lead to the end of pain, greater growth, personal and business goals reached and better lives. Endings bring hope. When done poorly, bad outcomes happen, good opportunities are lost, and misery either remains or is repeated … Endings are not failures or something to be avoided. Nothing lasts forever. Endings are normal. Life produces too much – more relationships, activities, clients, mentors, partners, strategies and stuff than we have time and room for. It it time for pruning? An ending does not mean you have failed. Avoid misunderstood loyalty and co-dependency. Insecurities and fears cause us to resist endings.”

The first half of life involves mostly beginnings. In the second half of life there are more endings and new beginnings. What endings have occurred for you that led to new beginnings? Make a list of them all. You’ll be surprised how many there are in life. What were these times like for you? What were the various feelings you had to navigate? How are you different now? What did you learn?

Read Part 3.

Seasons (Part 1)

I love Autumn! It is one of my favourite seasons of the year. The somewhat cooler days, the clear blue skies, and the glorious colours of the leaves. Change is in the air. The cycle of life is moving forward.

Nicole and I moved back to Melbourne last May after 18 months of living in the Sunshine Coast. We love Queensland but one of the things we missed were the seasons. I remember Nicole saying to me one day after 6 weeks of continuous sunshine and 32 degree days – “I really miss the rain!” Then when we were driving into Victoria, the first thing we noticed were the beautiful autumn leaves everywhere. We were coming back ‘home’. Yes, we have fallen in love with Melbourne … again.

Our time away was vital for us. It was like a long drink at the fountain, a place to re-fresh and re-fuel, a time to re-calibrate and transition into this new chapter of our lives. I am deeply grateful for it. It was part of my ongoing metamorphosis – of becoming who I truly am, apart from the various roles and responsibilities I have had for so many decades.

Today, I want to review some thoughts I shared back in 2015 about ‘seasons’. Take some time to read the story of the apostle Paul when he was about to leave the church at Ephesus. It’s recored for us in detail in Acts 20:13-38. Here are my observations:

Life is a Journey with Many Seasons

Paul grew up as a strict Pharisee, committed to his Jewish faith and its legal requirements. After encountering Jesus on the road to Damascus (Acts 9), his life was radically changed and he became an apostle to the Gentiles, sharing the gospel of Jesus to people from every strata of society. He ended up basing at the church in Antioch from where he travelled out on a number of church-planting missionary journeys (Acts 13). Eventually, he re-located to Ephesus where he had three years of his most fruitful ministry. This episode in his life shows us his transition away from Ephesus towards his eventual destination of Rome, the centre of the Roman Empire.

Paul’s time in Ephesus was about to come to an end. His life, like ours, was a journey with many different seasons, a story with many different chapters, much like a movie with many different scenes. Time is a constant as everything continually moves forward and is continually changing. Today becomes yesterday and tomorrow becomes today … and more quickly as you get older! We can’t control or stop the seasons, which are under God’s control (Ecclesiastes 3:1). However, we can decide how we will respond to the circumstances and the seasonal movements in our life.

In his book The Making of a Leader, leadership expert Robert Clinton says that each person that God uses goes through a common journey with different phases – sovereign foundations, ministry maturing (a primary focus on ‘doing’), life maturing (a greater focus on ‘being’), convergence, and then afterglow. There are many tests and incidents along the way – both positive and painful. There is benefit in stopping and reflecting on your journey. Life is lived forward but often understood backward.

Take some time to reflect on your life. Look back … where have you come from, where are you now, where are heading? What is God up to? What are incidents that have shaped who you are today? What have you learned? What season are you in right now?

Experience isn’t the greatest teacher. It is only the experiences that you reflect on that have the potential to become insight.

Read Part 2 of this series of BLOG posts on ‘Seasons’.

P.S. If you haven’t already, have a read of my poem entitled ‘Seasons‘.

Do You Have a ‘Secular’ Job?

Every now and then when I am talking with someone, in the course of the conversation, they will mention their ‘secular job’. I always pause and think about that statement. It actually grates me. Why is that?

Unfortunately, many people have created a division between the “sacred” and the “secular”. This dualism is a product of Greek philosophy that has so influenced our Western worldview. Life is often seen as a series of boxes– one for family, one for work, one for friends, one for recreation, and one for faith (God or our “spiritual life”). As long as we prioritise correctly and make appropriate contributions to each box, life will work out for us. This results in a compartmental style of thinking. In contrast, in the Hebrew or Jewish mind, and also from a Christian perspective, life should be viewed as one large circle with God in the centre. Everything else is to find its meaning and perspective from that centre. God wants to be involved in every area of our life – not just our spiritual life. All of life is sacred and God is interested in every dimension of our lives. 

Brother Lawrence, a French monastic from the seventeenth century, is well known for writing a little booklet that has touched millions of people’s lives. It’s called Practising the Presence of God. It’s about living with a greater realisation each moment of every day that God is with us and interested in doing life (including work) together with us.

The apostle Paul put it this way: “Whatever you do, whether in word or deed, do it all in the name of the Lord Jesus, giving thanks to God the Father through him (Colossians 3:17).” Doing something in Jesus’ name means to do it in his character. It means doing it as Jesus himself would do it if he were in your place. Paul is saying that our entire lives – from the moment we wake up until the time we lay down to sleep – are be lived out ‘in the name of Jesus’. Yes, God is interested in our work life. It matters to him and hopefully it matters to us too.

I hope you enjoy your job this week, whatever you may find yourself doing, and that you see it as part of your meaningful contribution to making the world a better place.

On my new podcast, I recently released a two-part series of messages called “Your Work, God’s Work” given back in 2013 which present a holistic view of our daily work. Visit Podbean or iTunes or your Spotify account to listen. You can also read the summary notes on my BLOG.

The Blessing of Giving

Jesus said and did many things, a lot of which is recorded in the four Gospels of the New Testament. But not everything Jesus said and did was written down (see John 21:25). The apostle Paul rarely quoted Jesus, but one statement that must have been passed on to him through ‘oral tradition’ (it’s not recorded in the Gospels) is Jesus saying this:

“It is more blessed to give than receive.” NIV

“You are far happier giving then getting.” The Message Bible

“More blessing come from giving than receiving.” CEV

Acts 20:35.

Paul used this statement as the foundation for his life of generosity. In the city of Ephesus, where he had lived and ministered for three years, he had worked hard with his own hands – to meet his own needs and to help other people (see Acts 20:32-38).

Jesus is saying that we are far happier, better off, fortunate, and blessed when we are in the giving mode than the receiving mode. This sound unnatural, doesn’t it, even counter-cultural!?

Well-known Jewish psychologist, Martin Seligman, an influential leader in the positive psychology movement, tells a story in his book on Learned Optimism about lecturing students in university on the subject of happiness. He gave them an assignment of doing two things during the week – (1) something pleasurable for themselves (e.g. eat a hot fudge sundae, or see a movie) and (2) something for others that had no personal benefit (e.g. work in a soup kitchen, give flowers to someone, or help an elderly person across the street). They were to measure their emotions before, during, and after these two seperate events.

The students returned from their assignments and unanimously noted that when doing something pleasurable for themselves there was a sudden spike of positive emotion that quickly faded away. However, when they did something for others, their positive emotions built up toward the event and then lingered long after.

They could have saved all the work by just listening to Jesus! Yes, it is true – we are far happier when we are giving out to others than when we are self-obsessed. It’s a fact of life.

In what ways are we happier giving than receiving? That was the subject of my message at One Community Church last weekend where I spoke on this teaching of Jesus. You might want to listen to the audio online (26 minutes) OR check out my new podcast. Enjoy!

Finally, may you find great joy in looking out for others this coming week and serving them in love. You will be glad you did.

Decisions – How to Know God’s Will For Your Life

Many years ago, when Nicole and I were working for my dad, Kevin Conner, who was then the Senior Minister of Waverley Christian Fellowship (now CityLife Church), we had a number of people advise us to consider moving away for a few years. They thought it would be good for me to get out from under my ‘dad’s shadow’ and grow to become my own person.

We gave it serious thought over a few months and even had conversations with two churches interstate. But we weren’t sure. What was the right thing to do? Should we go? Should we stay? What was God’s will?

If you have ever had a similar situation, then you are normal! Even the great apostle Paul had times where he was trying to figure out his next step – something that took time, as well as trial and error, and a few closed doors before the right one opened up (see Acts 16:6-10).

There are many wrong approaches to this whole idea of God’s will – including approaches that are fatalistic, negative, frustrating, fearful, and overly mystical! Thankfully, we have been given a good GPS – ‘God’s Positioning System’ – to help us on our journey. It includes the Bible, wisdom, circumstances, the inner witness of the Holy Spirit, and at times supernatural indicators. They bigger the decision and the greater the risk, the more we need multiple ‘lights’ to line up.

Our journey through life is a process of decision-making. Every day is a day of decisions. Where we are today is in many ways a result of the decisions we made yesterday and where we will be tomorrow will be influenced by the decisions we make today. Choose wisely! Choose life.

I unpacked this whole idea of knowing God’s will recently in a two part teaching series at Bayside Church in Melbourne. If you’d like to listen to it, then here are the video links:

By the way, we never did leave … and we are sure glad we didn’t. Beware of people who like to project their good intentions on to your life. Take time to be still, to read your own heart, and to know what is best for you and your future.

Enjoy … and all the best for a bold and courageous 2019!

Navigating the Storms of Life

Navigating the Storms of Life (JPEG)

Nahum 1:3. The LORD has His way in the whirlwind and in the storm, and the clouds are the dust of His feet. NKJV

The book of Nahum is one of the 12 minor prophets found at the end of the Old Testament. Nahum lived in the seventh century BC during a time of great political upheaval due to the rise of the Assyrian Empire. His messages sought to encourage God’s people who were being oppressed by a seemingly invincible foe. The book opens with a song of praise to God for his power and justice. The spectacular manifestations of nature are symbolic of his power. Continue reading “Navigating the Storms of Life”

Could You Live to 100 Years of Age? (Part 4)

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Peter Drucker,
the father of modern management, once noted that we are the first generation to have two lives – a first half and a second half. Over a hundred years ago, many people lived to only 45-50 years of age. Now, as we have seen in this series of posts, many people are living well into their 70s and 80s … and some well beyond this (100+ and 110+).  Continue reading “Could You Live to 100 Years of Age? (Part 4)”

Could You Live to 100 Years of Age? (Part 3)

Will-you-live-to-be-100-kda-consulting-header
In part 4 and 5 of this series of posts on the possibility of living to 100, we will look at what longevity could mean for our lives. What does a life of significance, rather than mere success, look like? How do we break free from the conventional view of the three-stage life: education, vocation, and then retirement?  Continue reading “Could You Live to 100 Years of Age? (Part 3)”