Church Bulletin Bloopers


BloopHere is a collection of humorous church bulletin bloopers (typographical errors) …

* Evening massage – 6 p.m.

* Don't let worry kill you. Let the church help.

* Thursday night … pot luck supper. Prayer and medication will follow.

* Remember in prayer the many who are sick of our church.

* For those of you who have children and don't know it, we have a nursery down stairs.

* Weight Watchers will meet at 7 PM at the First Presbyterian Church. Please use large double door at the side entrance.

* Eight new choir robes are currently needed, due to the addition of several new members and to the deterioration of some older ones.

* The Senior Choir invites any member of the congregation who enjoys sinning to join the choir.

* At the evening service, the sermon topic will be "What is Hell?" Come early and listen to our choir practice.

* This afternoon there will be a meeting in the south and north ends of the church. Children will be baptised at both ends.

* Tuesday at four there will be an ice cream social. All ladies giving milk please come early.

* The ladies of the church have cast off clothing of every kind. They may be seen in the church basement Friday.

* The Reverend Merriwether spoke briefly, much to the delight of the congregation.

* The pastor will preach his farewell message, after which the choir will sing,  ‘Break Forth Into Joy."

* Due to the Rector's illness, Wednesday's healing services will be discontinued until further notice.

* The eighth-graders will be presenting Shakespeare's Hamlet in the church basement on Friday at 7 p.m. The congregation is invited to attend this tragedy.

* The concert held in Fellowship Hall was a great success. Special thanks are due to the minister's daughter, who laboured the whole evening at the piano, which as usual fell upon her.

* Men's Prayer Breakfast. No charge, but your damnation will be gratefully accepted.

* This morning’s sermon: “Jesus walks on the water”. Tonight’s sermon: “Where is Jesus?”

* During this morning’s meeting, be sure to smile and say hell to someone new.

* Ladies, don’t forget our rummage sale. Here’s a good chance to get rid of those things not worth keeping. Bring your husband along.

[Source Unknown]

 

"A cheerful heart is good medicine, but a broken spirit saps a person's strength." Prov 17:22. NLT