Melbourne – Our City

Melbourne-australia

I love our city of Melbourne, recent winner (again!) of the world's most livable city

Recently, the Herald Sun newspaper published a list of 50 things you will never hear a Melbournian say. Here are my favourite 10 from the list: 

1. I might have instant coffee today. It all sort of tastes the same anyway.

2. I'd better get to the platform two minutes ahead of time just in case the train is early.

3. It's sunny this morning. No need for the umbrella.

4. None of my friends would ever buy clothes from an op shop.

5. Just going for a swim in the Yarra.

6. Excellent run on the Monash this morning.

7. I'm only 5 minutes over. The parking inspector won't mind.

8. I'm proud to barrack for two AFL teams.

9. I've seen better restaurants in Sydney.

10. Stealing hard rubbish is illegal, and rightly so.

Of course, only Melbournians would understand 🙂

Global Leadership Summit – Willow Creek

Speakers2014

Bill Hybels is one of the most outstanding Christian leaders I know. Every year in early August, his local church in Chicago, Willow Creek Community Church, hosts a summit on the subject of leadership. They bring in the best thinkers and practitioners of leadership from both the church and business world. Via video-cast, 10s of 1000s of leaders are challenged and inspired by this event. Then a few months later, the highlights of the conference are presented around the globe.

Check out the Australian Willow Creek Association web site for details of the seminars coming up in October. Why not consider registering you and your team. You'll be glad you did.

In the meantime, check out this year's summit web site and the summit BLOG, which has summaries of all of the sessions. 

Romans 12:6-8. We have different gifts, according to the grace given to each of us. If your gift is prophesying, then prophesy in accordance with your faith; if it is serving, then serve; if it is teaching, then teach; if it is to encourage, then give encouragement; if it is giving, then give generously; if it is to lead, do it diligently; if it is to show mercy, do it cheerfully. NIV

Proverbs 25

Proverbs-Series

Here are some great gems of wisdom for us today from Proverbs 25 (from the Message Bible translation):

Vs. 2. God delights in concealing things; scientists delight in discovering things.

The world is full of mystery, hidden by God. He delights in those who seek him and the truths embedded in his amazing world. Have you settled and become content with what you currently know? We are called to be seekers and explorers. There's more!

Vs.6-7. Don't work yourself into the spotlight; don't push your way into the place of prominence. It's better to be promoted to a place of honor than face humiliation by being demoted.

Ah, such a counter-cultural tid-bit of wisdom, especially in a world where everyone is busy marketing themselves and being their own PR company. Promotion and influence aren't something we should go after or pursue. They are a by-product of a life lived well … before God and people.

Vs.8. Don't jump to conclusions – there may be a perfectly good explanation for what you just saw.

Come on, we all know we have strong leg muscles … from jumping to conclusions so frequently! Slow down. Listen. Look carefully before passing judgment.

Vs.13. Reliable friends who do what they say are like cool drinks in sweltering heat – refreshing.

Being a person of your word is a foundational character quality to develop and maintain.

Vs.14. Like billowing clouds that bring no rain is the person who talks big but never produces.

Ah, the gregarious sales person - promises you the world and delivers nothing. Better to under-promise and over-deliver than the other way around.

Vs.16. When you're given a box of candy, don't gulp it all down; eat too much chocolate and you'll make yourself sick.

I love chocolate, especially Tim Tams, and could eat an entire packet in one go. Developing the art of self-control and being able to say 'enough' rather than 'just one more' is a character development challenge for me. You?

Vs.21-22. If you see your enemy hungry, go buy him lunch; if he's thirsty, bring him a drink. Your generosity will surprise him with goodness, and God will look after you.

Who's been a bit cool or mean to you lately? Take up the challenge and go out of your way to do something nice for them today. That's the Christian way. Watch the impact.

Don’t Say ‘Suicide’!

SaddddI am sure we all heard the tragic news of actor Robin Williams death this last week. It is so sad when a person gets to the place where they think that ending their life is a better option than living it.

Depression is a real challenge in our world today and many people battle with it. It is estimated that one in six Australians face depression at some time in their life. As a result, suicide is now the biggest killer of young Australians and accounts for the deaths of more young people than car accidents. 

If you are walking through what seems like a dark tunnel, please don’t say suicide. Talk to someone. Share what you are feeling and going through. There is hope. You can step out of the shadows and into the light.

Jesus said, "A thief is only there to steal and kill and destroy. I came so they can have real and eternal life, more and better life than they ever dreamed of." (John 10:10 Message Bible)

Here are a few contact numbers that may be of help 
  

  • CityLife Community Care
  • Lifeline (24hrs) 13 11 14
  • Suicide Helpline (24hrs) 1300 651 251. Crisis support for Victorians.

Les Miserables

Les

Two weeks ago, my family and I attended the Les Miserables stage production at Her Majesty’s Theatre in Melbourne. It is one of our favourite productions. We have watched the 25th annviersary edition DVD recorded at the London O2 arena a dozen or so times and it never fails to move us (the finale, which is a 30 minute standing ovation and encore that brought the 1985 cast on-stage, is worth the price of the DVD). The Australian cast did an outstanding job too.

The story, based on the book by Victor Hugo, is so redemptive and it captures and portrays so vividly the full range of human emotion: betrayal, anger, grief, disappointment, as well as forgiveness, love and transformation. A great quote: "to love another person is to see the face of God."

Proverbs 18

Some more wisdom from the book of Proverbs (the Message Bible translation): 

Vs.4. Many words rush along like rivers in flood, but deep wisdom flows up from artesian springs.

Take time to draw out wisdom from those you converse with today. 

Vs.8. Listening to gossip is like eating cheap candy; do you really want junk like that in your belly.

Don't let your ears be a rubbish dump for unprofitable information.

Vs.10. God 's name is a place of protection – good people can run there and be safe.

Jesus is here – call out to him.

Vs.12. Pride first, then the crash, but humility is precursor to honor.

Humility is not thinking less of yourself but rather thinking of yourself less. Don't think more highly of yourself than you should. Recognise God's grace and the help of other people in all of your achievements. 

Vs.13. Answering before listening is both stupid and rude.

God has given us two ears and one mouth, so we should listen twice as much as we talk. 

Vs.15. Wise men and women are always learning, always listening for fresh insights.

Be a learner today. Don't act like a know it all. 

Vs.17. The first speech in a court case is always convincing – until the cross–examination starts.

Don't believe everything you first hear. Check it out. Hear all sides of an argument.

Vs.21. Words kill, words give life; they're either poison or fruit – you choose.

Oh, the power of our tongue! Engage brain before opening mouth.

Vs.24. Friends come and friends go, but a true friend sticks by you like family.

Take time to thank someone for being a true friend today. Their worth is above silver.

Two Simple Questions to Improve Your Marriage

1-couple-tense-lgnIn most marriages, one person is wired a little more relationally than the other. Often it is the wife … but not always.

If so, husbands, find a quiet time and place and ask your wife these two simple questions: 

1. "How would you rate the current state/health of our marriage on a scale of 1-10?" 10 being you should start your own marriage seminar, 1 being you desperately need to attend a marriage seminar. No negative numbers, please. Note, that it will probably be lower than your score. Don't start an argument about that!

2. Then ask her, "What do you think would improve our marriage?" Then consider doing just that. Women often have great relational insight. 

[If the husband happens to be the more relational person in the marriage, then reverse this exercise]

Proverbs 11

Proverbs-SeriesHere are a few of the gems of wisdom available for us today from Proverbs 11 (from the Message Bible translation):

Vs.14. Without good direction, people lose their way; the more wise counsel you follow, the better your chances.

Who speaks into your life? Who do you look to for advice and counsel? Don't go it alone. The input and insight of other wise and experienced people can be extremely helpful as we navigate the major decisions of our lives. 

Vs.17. When you're kind to others, you help yourself; when you're cruel to others, you hurt yourself.

Unfortunately, kindness is becoming a lost art. Turn random acts of kindness into regular acts of kindness today – starting at home with those you love the most and continuing with it all through the day, especially to the 'little people' who others so easily ignore, mistreat, or walk by.  

Vs.20. God can't stand deceivers, but oh how he relishes integrity.

Integrity means there is an integration between who people see on the outside and who we really are on the inside. When there is a gap, we experience inner tension and lack of peace. 

Vs.24-25. The world of the generous gets larger and larger; the world of the stingy gets smaller and smaller. The one who blesses others is abundantly blessed; those who help others are helped.

God is a giving and generous God and he calls us as his children to be just like him. Choose to be generous with your words of encouragement, your assistance, your time and your finances today. 

When Families Break Down

Modern Family Graphic

Divorce and Remarriage

In Matthew 19:1-9, we have a record of the Pharisees trying to trick Jesus with a question about divorce, a hotly debated topic of his day. Everyone today has or knows a friend or family member who has been divorced and possibly remarried, or maybe we have even gone through that experience ourselves. Stories of family breakdown are usually filled with pain and heartache – for spouses and for children, if they are involved. Here in Australia 43% of first marriages end in divorce and the rates go up with second and subsequent marriages. One in three marriages today are a re-marriage, resulting in an increasing number of step-families and blended families. All sorts of questions emerge for the follower of Christ: What are the options when a marriage isn’t working? Is divorce ever okay? If divorced, what next? Is re-marriage okay or it is “committing adultery”?

People of the Book

The Bible is our final authority for belief and practice. We know what the Bible says, but what does it mean (exegesis) and how do we apply it (hermeneutics) to our lives today? Most churches today no longer follow the first century practices of foot washing, veil wearing and holy kissing.  Why do we ignore these instructions yet not others? How do we know what is culturally bound and what is timeless? Is the Bible like a legal constitution providing case law for every conceivable life situation or more like a library of God-inspired stories with insights and instructions for us to glean from? No doubt, two important principles of interpretation include considering the “context” and also the “complete mention” of a topic or subject.

Moses and Israel

To understand the context of what is occurring in this exchange between Jesus and the Pharisees we need to go back to some Mosaic Law about divorce and remarriage, primarily recorded in Deuteronomy 24:1-4. The purpose of this legislation was to regulate the practice of divorce during the time of Moses and Israel. Though never sanctioned by God, divorce and remarriage did occur during this time. The debate was never about whether divorce could occur or whether remarriage was okay after that but about the acceptable grounds for divorce. The legislation had practical and moral aims (to protect the woman, the most vulnerable person in the marriage, from ‘no fault’ divorce, to give her a written document permitting her to remarry without accusation of adultery, and to protect any subsequent marriage). Moses aim was to control and reduce divorce, not condone or legalise it.

Back to Jesus

The Pharisees were trying to trap Jesus by drawing him into an argument about acceptable grounds for divorce. They asked, “Is it lawful for a man to divorce his wife for any and every reason?” (Matt.19:3) There were two main Rabbinic views at the time: (1) the House of Shammai said a man must not divorce his wife unless he found her unfaithful (“indecent”), (2) the House of Hillel said a man could divorce his wife even for trivial grounds such as spoiling a meal. Rabbi Akiba went even further saying a man could divorce his wife for no fault at all, but merely because of finding someone more beautiful than her (“she becomes displeasing to him”)!

Jesus, knowing their trap, bypassed their pedantic debate about Deuteronomy 24 and went right back to God’s original plan for marriage in Genesis (1:27; 2:24). What God joined together in marriage was not to be broken by anyone for any reason (Matt.19:4-6). The Pharisees had their answer but wouldn't give up. Next they misquote Moses by saying, “Why then did Moses command that a man give his wife a certificate of divorce and send her away?” (Matt.19:7) The form of their question showed that they had taken the lax Akiba position – all that is required for divorce is to observe the legal formalities by putting in in writing. Jesus replied, “Moses permitted you to divorce your wives because your hearts were hard. But it was not this way from the beginning. I tell you that anyone who divorces his wife, except for sexual immorality, and marries another woman commits adultery.” (Matt.19:8-9) In reply, Jesus says: Moses did allow divorce; it was a concession to the hardness of people’s hearts; divorce was not part of God’s original purposes; and when a man divorces his wife (other than for “sexual immorality”) and marries another, he commits adultery. Jesus is not attacking or altering the law of Moses, which he did not come to abolish (Matt.5:17-20), but their twisting of Moses’ intent.

So what is Jesus really saying about divorce? Some people interpret his words as forbidding all divorce and remarriage, saying that any re-marriage is a continual act of adultery, because the first marriage is a permanent bond before God. However, this would be a complete contradiction of Mosaic teaching and practice (which acknowledged that divorce could occur and that any re-marriage is a real marriage) as well as Jesus’ approach to the Samaritan woman (John 4) who had been married five times but now had “no husband” (Jesus did not say that she was still married to her first or any of her previous husbands). Jesus is clearly confronting the Pharisees lax approach to divorce and taking them back to God’s ideal, which is for marriage to be seen as a lifelong relationship characterized by friendship, loving care, sexual intimacy and commitment. To seek a divorce with the specific intent of marrying another person is nothing short of an adulterous act. That’s what Jesus was making a firm stand against. His comments do not deal with all problems or questions related to divorce, nor do they address what people who are already divorced should do or even those who go ahead and get divorced. None of these issues are in view. Jesus wanted them to stop tearing apart (through easy divorce) what God had put together (through marriage). All divorce is to be seen as a tragedy and contrary to God’s will.

Marriage Breakdown

Tom Wright, in his commentary on the Gospel of Matthew, notes that car manuals today usually include instructions of what to do if the car breaks down or an accident occurs. That’s not because the manufacturer is hoping this will occur! They want you to drive safely, free of trouble, worry and fear. But sometimes people get into difficult situations and its important to know what to do. Moses, Jesus and Paul did the same when it came to marriage. They didn’t command or encourage marriage breakdown, but did talk about what to do if it occurs.

Whenever there is marriage conflict or breakdown, followers of Christ should make every effort to work towards forgiveness, reconciliation and restoration of the relationship (see for instance Matthew 18:15-35, which immediately precedes Jesus comments on marriage and divorce). The church should always work towards that aim. There may be situations when a marriage has broken down so far as to be beyond repair. God himself eventually divorced Old Testament Israel due to her repeated unfaithfulness. Acceptable grounds for divorce include sexual unfaithfulness (Matt.19:9) and desertion (1Cor.7:12-16), but by principle may also include incidences where a person’s life and well-being are in continual danger. It is interesting that ‘divorce’ is never listed in Paul’s lists of sins. Divorce sometimes simply makes public and permanent the actual breakdown of the marriage. The real sin is in the failure to keep the marriage vows that resulted in the eventual divorce.

When considering the issue of marriage breakdown, while continuing to uphold and work towards God’s ideal of lifelong marriage as stated by Jesus, we also need to embrace the compassion that Jesus had towards hurting and broken people, showing them kindness and forgiveness (see John 8:1-11). God is the God of the second chance. We all gather at the foot of the cross and around the communion table as saved sinners, in desperate need of God’s forgiveness and grace. In Christ, grace and truth meet together in perfect unity. The church is to be a place of healing and restoration – for individuals and families.

Reflection Questions

1. Consider how divorce may have touched or impacted your life, friends or family.

2. Reflect on the importance of using the Bible as it was intended by applying proper principles of interpretation, such as consideration of context, background and the overall flow of the Scriptural redemption story.

3. Re-read Deuteronomy 24 and Matthew 19. Did you see these passages in any new ways?

4. How can we continue to uphold the ‘ideal’ of lifelong marriage (truth) while also acknowledging that God forgives us when we fail and gives us a second chance (grace)?

5. What are some options for a spouse if their marriage is not going well and their partner is not interested in improving the relationship?

6. What is some advice for someone entering a second marriage, given the high percentage of divorces for second and subsequent marriages?

7. What are some of the unique challenges of step and/or blended families and how can these be navigated?

8. Think of a couple you know who you believe have a great marriage. What are the characteristics or ingredients that make it that way? 

9. In what ways can we strengthen and improve the quality of Christian marriages today?

10. A tip for husbands: ask your wife to evaluate the health of your marriage from 1-10 (it will probably be lower than your score!). Then ask her what she thinks would improve it. Then consider doing just that. Women often have great relational insight! [If the husband happens to be the more relational person in the marriage, then reverse this exercise]

11. How can we help remove the embarrassment that sometimes accompanies a couple asking for help from a counsellor or pastor with their marriage?

12. Pray for families, especially for marriages to be strong and healthy. 

For Further Reading

Divorce and the Christ-Community: A New Portrait by Dr Gary Collier (online eBook).

Marriage, Divorce and Remarriage by Kevin J. Conner (Melbourne, Australia: KJC Publications, 2004).

Divorce and Remarriage in the Church: Biblical Solutions for Pastoral Realities by David Instone-Brewer (Downers Grove, IL: Intervarsity Press, 2006).

Divorce and Remarriage in the Bible: The Social and Literary Context by David Instone-Brewer (Grand Rapids, MI: WM. B. Eerdmans Publishing, 2002).

Marriage and Divorce: The New Testament Teaching by B. Ward Powers (Petersham, NSW: Jordan Books Ltd, 1987).

“Sexuality and Sexual Ethics” by J.M. Sprinkle in Dictionary of the Old Testament: Pentateuch edited by T.M. Alexander and David W. Baker (Downers Grove, IL: Intervarsity Press, 2003).

“Divorce” by H.R. Stein in Dictionary of Jesus and the Gospels edited by Joel B. Green and Scot McKnight (Downers Grove, IL: Intervarsity Press, 1992).

Divorce and Remarriage: Four Christian Views edited by H. Wayne House (Downers Grove, IL: Intervarsity Press, 1993).

A Moral Vision of the New Testament by Richard Hayes (New York, NY: Bloomsbury Publishing, 2004).

Soul Keeping

John-ortberg-pastor-of-menlo-park-presbyterian-church-published-april-2014-his-new-book-soul-keeping-caring-for-the-most-important-part-of-youJohn Ortberg's latest book is called Soul Keeping: Caring for the Most Important Part of You. John is a well-known pastor, speaker and best-selling author from the USA. In this excellent book, he delves into the inner world of our soul, exposing what the soul needs and showing how it can be restored. 

John, who has a doctorate in both theology and psychology, is an engaging writer, drawing insights from Scripture, human experience, his own personal life, as well as his unique mentoring relationship with the late Dallas Willard.

If you're looking for a challenging and insightful devotional book, then look no further.

The life of a village depends on the health of the stream flowing through it. That stream is your soul. And you are the keeper.

Never Say Die!

Are you feeling a bit discouraged or down? Do you feel like quitting or giving up? We've all been there at one time or another. Today I was searching through some old quotes and came upon this true story. Hopefully, it will encourage you today … to never say die.

Some people just don't know when to give up. Take this bloke for example, who was the son of a what people thought was a no-hoper. He was poorly educated and his mother died when he was just nine years old. Not the best start in life one might say. 

At age 21 he worked in a grocery store doing odd jobs. A year later he opened his own store but promptly went broke. At 23, he ran for Parliament but lost. At 25 he had another go at business and went broke again. A year after this his fiance died and he suffered a nervous breakdown. Then he decided to become a lawyer and six years later at 29 unsuccessfully ran for Parliament again. He tried again at 24 and failed. And at 37 he failed for the fourth time.

He finally married and had four sons, three of whom died. At the age of 39 he ran for public office again and was defeated again. Some people just don't seem to get it!

At age 46 and 49 he again ran and was again unsuccessful. Three years late at age 52 Abraham Lincoln became the 16th President of the United States and one of the best at that. 

Abe

Proverbs 4

Proverbs-SeriesThe book of Proverbs chapter 4 has some terrific wisdom for us today (from the Message Bible translation): 

Vs.4-9. Above all and before all, do this: Get Wisdom!
Write this at the top of your list: Get Understanding!
Throw your arms around her – believe me, you won't regret it;
never let her go – she'll make your life glorious.
She'll garland your life with grace,
she'll festoon your days with beauty.

How easy it is to just focusing on getting through the day, or getting tasks done, without taking time to stop and glean the wisdom that comes from God. True wisdom is seeing life from God's perspective. Thankfully, God gives wisdom to any who ask (James 1:4).

Vs.18. The ways of right–living people glow with light;
the longer they live, the brighter they shine.

May our lives shine like bright lights in a dark world today – through who we are, what we say, and what we do. 

Vs.23. Keep vigilant watch over your heart; that's where life starts.

Life is lived inside out. It's not so much what is happening on the outside that matters but what is happening on the inside. 

Vs.25-27. Keep your eyes straight ahead;
ignore all sideshow distractions.
Watch your step,
and the road will stretch out smooth before you.
Look neither right nor left;
leave evil in the dust.

Ah, the power of focus. When Bill Gates first met Warren Buffett, their host at dinner, Gates’ mother, asked everyone around the table to identify what they believed was the single most important factor in their success through life. Gates and Buffett gave the same one-word answer: "Focus". (See more in The Snowball by Alice Schroeder).