Month: October 2017

Have you ever thought about your conscience?

I once heard a story of an American Indian who gave a great definition of what a conscience is. He said our conscience is like a small wooden triangle on the inside of us. When we do something wrong, it turns and scrapes the sides and we feel some pain. If we ignore it, however, over time, the edges of that wooden triangle eventually wear off and when we do something wrong, it spins, but we don’t feel anything anymore.

How profound.

You know guilt can be our friend. It is trying to get our attention – telling us that something needs our response. Guilt is always very specific and is aimed at us taking action to fix a certain situation. Once we do so, it has done its job.

The apostle Paul once said he always endeavoured to live with a ‘clear conscience’. What he meant was that every day he tried to make sure that there was no offence between him and God or him and others that he hadn’t attended to. No wonder he was able to go through life with so much peace … and joy.

Guilt … think about it. This is Mark Conner.

I think we all understand the importance of our attitude. After all, life isn’t so much what happens to us as much as how we respond to it. Our attitude determines so much of who we become and what we are able to achieve in our lives.

Of course, everyone has times when they feel bad or down. A good attitude doesn’t prevent this from happening but it can stop us from getting stuck during those times.

The key thing is to realise that we are responsible for our attitudes.

I remember one Saturday morning, one of our kids, who was young at the time, burst into our room and said, “Dad, someone wet my bed!” I tried not to laugh but gently said, “I think you were the only one in your bed last night.” “No dad, it wasn’t me. Someone else did it.”

You know, we can all be a bit like that. Our attitude stinks … but, of course, it’s someone else’s fault.

You know, the sooner we admit it, the quicker we can clean up the mess and get on with our day.

Attitude … think about it. This is Mark Conner

Have you noticed the increase in demand for fields such as counselling, coaching and mentoring over the last few decades? There is something highly beneficial about talking with someone else about what is going on in your life, especially what is happening on the inside of you.

It is sometimes referred to as “externalisation.”

The story is told of Einstein going for a walk with a friend. At the time, he was struggling with a problem he couldn’t solve. In the process of telling his friend about it, he ended up getting an idea about how to fix his situation so he ended up heading home, exhilarated by the conversation.

Sometimes the very process of talking about our challenges can be part of us overcoming them … or at the very least surviving them. It might be through literally talking to ourselves, or writing our thoughts in a journal then reading them over, or talking to a professional. That act, in of itself, can be therapeutic and even enlightening.

Is there something you need to talk out? Find a safe person and share what’s happening inside of you. I think you’ll be glad you did.

Externalisation … think about it. This is Mark Conner

Have you been on an aeroplane lately? Before the plane takes off there is always a safety spiel – which we all pay close attention to. Right? Right.

The instructions always include something like this:

“In case of an emergency, an oxygen mask will fall down from above you. Put it on yourself before assisting others.”

Have you ever thought about that? It sounds a bit selfish doesn’t it. If it was a Christian flight, you’d think it would say, “Put it on your neighbour first!” But no, ‘self-care’ is primary. Why? Because if you aren’t breathing, you are of no use to anyone else.

In life, I have found that a lot of people I know give the best of their energies to serving or helping others – which is a good thing. But the flip side is that in the process we can easily ignore taking care of ourselves, thinking that it is ‘selfish’. We end up tired, stressed, anxious, grumpy and maybe even a bit burnt out. Then we aren’t much use to anybody.

The truth is that the best gift you can give other people in your life is YOU being a healthy person – in good spirits and in love with life.

“Self care” … think about it. This is Mark Conner

Think for a moment about ‘atmosphere’. Every room has an atmosphere – it could be bright or dark, hot or cold, pleasant or smelly. So does every family, every team, every school, and every workplace. That atmosphere is usually the composite result of the people in that group or of its strongest influencers.

Two particular instruments deal with atmospheres.

First there is a thermometer, which measures the temperature of a particular room. If the room is hot, the thermometer goes up. If the room is cold, it goes down. It is a reactive instrument.

Then there is a thermostat. In contrast to a thermometer, it is a proactive instrument. If the room is hot, it can cause it to cool down. If the room is cold, it can help warm it up.

What about you? Are you a thermometer or a thermostat?

I want to encourage you to be a thermostat, someone who knows how to help cool down a situation that has become heated (you know what I am talking about!) and someone who knows how to warm up a situation that has become cool or even icy (again, you know what I am talking about!).

Influencer – think about it. This is Mark Conner