Month: November 2017

Have you ever seen someone who is really good at what they do? We’re talking about excellence. It can be quite inspiring, even breath-taking.

Of course, when we see someone who excels at what they do, we don’t see the process or the journey over time that they took to get there.

Former NBA basketball coach Pat Riley once said, “Excellence is the gradual result of always trying to be better.” I like that.

I remember when I first played the piano for our church youth group. I had music in front of me and God help the meeting if the fan blew those sheets of music away. I did this many times then eventually learned to just keep an eye on the chords rather than all those individual notes. After doing that many times, I eventually memorised the music and could actually look around the room and see, “Ah, there are people here!”

Don’t focus so much on where you are today with your talents and abilities OR on someone who is way ahead of you. What is your next step? What could you do to take some steps of improvement in the next few weeks? Keep doing that, and before you know it, you too will be excelling at what you do.

Excellence – think about it. 

Some of life’s BIG questions include: “Who am I?” “What is the meaning of life?” “Where am I going?” and “What am I here for?”

That last question is an important one. It taps into our purpose, our calling, our life contribution, our vocation. After all, everyone wants to be useful. No one wants to be useless.

And I’m not talking about just having a job so you can pay the bills and have some money to spend on the weekend.

Deep inside very human being is a longing to make a difference in the world. To do something … significant. Sure, not everyone will be prominent, but we can all make a unique contribution to society. That can be quite rewarding and fulfilling.

So how do we know our life purpose?

A few extra questions can help: “What are you good at (your talents and gifts)? What do you love to do? What makes you angry? What does the world need?”

It’s worth taking some time to reflect on questions like this because we only have one life to live. This is not a dress rehearsal. This is the real thing!

Vocation – think about it. 

One of the most powerful things you can give another person is the gift of empathy.

I remember hearing a story about a man sitting on a train, reading his newspaper when another man came on to the train and sat right next to him. He slouched and closed his eyes, as if to shut out the world. He had two young children with him who proceeded to run around the train, disturbing everyone in sight.

The man couldn’t believe it. Why didn’t this man control his children? Eventually, when his annoyance reached a certain level, he said, “Excuse me sir, why don’t you stop your kids from running around?”

The man slowly came to and said, “I’m sorry. We just came from the hospital where their mother died. I don’t know what to do and I guess neither do they.”

Talk about a paradigm shift! In a moment, this man’s emotions moved from anger to empathy.

It is so easy to judge. Empathy means to stand in someone else’s shoes and see life from their perspective.

In your next conversation with someone, trying asking this question: “Help me understand …”

Empathy … think about it. 

I’ll never forget having lunch with a friend a few years back. As we sat down, I asked him how he was going. “Awesome” was his answer and he went on to tell me about a bunch of good things happening in his life at that time.

Then he asked me how I was doing. I thought for moment – “Will I go with ‘Awesome’ or will I be honest?” I decided to be honest and so I said, “Yeah, not the best. I’ve had a few challenges lately.” And I began sharing some of things I was facing at that time.

The tone of the conversation completely changed. In fact, when I was done, he said that actually he wasn’t doing that well either.

You know, the degree of openness in a relationship determines the degree of intimacy or closeness. Have you got someone in your life who ever asks you, “How are you doing … really?” and has the time to listen? That’s so important.

Of course, through vulnerability we can contribute to the deepening and strengthening of any friendship. There is a time to be real, to take off our masks, and our ‘image management’ efforts.

Vulnerability – think about it.

Each year a new word is added to the English dictionary. A few years back, in 2013, it was the word ‘selfie’. Yes, there is nothing like a good ‘selfie’ taken with your mobile phone and maybe even with a selfie extension.

On a recent overseas trip, my wife and I had a 24-hour layover in Beijing, China. We decided to tour the city. Our final stop, on what turned out to be a really hot day, was the Great Wall of China. We took the chair lift to the top, then climbed 100s of steps to one of the towers. The view was amazing. I decided to take a 360-degree panorama video with my phone. After we were back in our car on the way to the airport, my wife started showing me her photos. Then I showed her my video. Unfortunately, without realising it, I had my phone in ‘selfie’ mode – so all I had to show for my time visiting one of the wonders of the world, was a 20 second video of my ugly, unshaven, sweaty, sunburnt face! How embarrassing.

Hopefully, when your life is over it wasn’t one big selfie! Rather, let’s look around to the world around us and seek to make a positive difference – for others.

Selfie. Think about it …

Have you ever fallen flat on your face? Have you ever disappointed yourself, others or God? Maybe it was a sin, a mistake or a personal failure. For some reason, you didn't live up to your own expectations or promises.

We have all experienced this, at one time or another. Sometimes, over-confidence, arrogance and pride are the catalysts. At other times, they are not.

When personal failure occurs, we experience guilt, embarrassment and at times shame. Guilt is the result of a convicted conscience. It is usually specific and aimed at a response which usually includes feeling bad (genuine sorrow) and positive change (doing something about what we have done). Once we do so, guilt has done its job.

In contrast, shame is this general bad feeling that moves us from “I did something wrong” to “I am a bad person”. It involves an ongoing feeling of condemnation and self-loathing, with a general sense of not being good enough. Shame is very harmful and creates a feeling of unworthiness. This often leads to destructive and negative behaviours.

The good news is that despite our faults and failures, Jesus is willing to forgive us and free us from both guilt and shame.

Think about it. This is Mark Conner.