Mark Conner Personal

The Great Unknown … One Year On …

Great Unknown

Yesterday was the one-year anniversary of me finishing up 32 years of employment in the one place and stepping out into the great unknown. [See my post from February 2017 called "Time to Say Goodbye" and a poem I wrote in December 2016 called "The Great Unknown"). One year on, I am so glad I did. Words can’t quite express the increasing amounts of joy, excitement and meaning I am starting to experience. I am extremely grateful.

So, what have I learned? There are many things, but here are 10 reflections:

  1. Your calling isn’t limited to your current role. In fact, don’t allow your calling to ever become merely a duty or an obligation. Keep following your curiosity.
  2. Sometimes we need to let our roots go down deep and stick it out through the various seasons of life, being faithful where we have been planted. At others time we need to let go, step out of the boat, and go on an adventure to new places.
  3. Your current world is a lot smaller than you think. There is a much bigger world waiting outside the confines of your pond.
  4. Life goes on. No one is indispensable. True, you can't replace people but roles can be filled and the wheels of every organisation or industry keep moving on, one way or another.
  5. Your identity, your significance and your security are not in what you do or the position or title you have but in who you are as a person.
  6. Growth means change and change can be hard, especially letting go, but it is healthy and can be good for you. It helps you avoid becoming ‘risk averse’ and losing the sense of adventure in life.
  7. Once you are through the threshold of change, you will see things from a totally different perspective.
  8. Relationships change through every season of life. Not everyone goes with you on your journey. Some old friendships fade but new ones will emerge. Having those closest to you (especially your family) love and respect you the most is what is most important. 
  9. Life becomes very liminal as your new world continues to unfold. You have to go of certainty and embrace paradox and a lot of loose ends. Go slowly as you walk this liminal path, moving forward with openness rather than seeking a pre-mature sense of permanence.
  10. There will be grief and loss but there is much joy just around the corner.

May you follow your curiosity, even if it leads you out of your comfort zone and on an adventure into the great unknown!

"Life should not be a journey to the grave with the intention of arriving safely in a pretty and well preserved body, but rather to skid in broadside in a cloud of smoke, thoroughly used up, totally worn out, and loudly proclaiming, 'Wow! What a ride!'" Hunter S. Thompson

Mark Conner News

The GREAT LEAP for Pastors

I am really excited to be part of a special 2 day event coming up in Melbourne, Australia on 19-20th November 2018 (no longer 5-6th June) for pastors. It is called The GREAT LEAP.

This 28-hour intensive for pastors is a fast-track program to help church leaders gain greater clarity of how they want to spend the second half of their life and make it count. Designed to inspire and challenge high-capacity pastors and ministry leaders, this program will help you pause, reflect and take control of your life.

Our aim is to provide a life-changing, world class experience (using the Halftime process) to assist church leaders to pause so they can gain greater clarity around their God-given calling, resulting in a fresh game plan for the second half of their life and ministry.

Check out the pastor’s halftime web site for more details, including a Frequently Asked Questions page.

If you are interested, sign up soon as numbers are limited.

Mark Conner

“I invite you to join us on this life-changing and unique, highly interactive world class intensive that has proven results and lasting impact. Previously only accessible by traveling to Dallas, Texas, it’s available right here in Melbourne, Australia.”

John Sikkema (Board Chairman, Halftime Australia)

Mark Conner Relationships

Love Pays Attention

Paying-attention

Love pays attention. 

Unfortunately, I often get distracted when people are talking to me (including my wife, Nicole), which usually evokes the comment, “You’re not listening to me!” Love means being 'fully present' with a person, paying focused attention to them by looking them in the eye and concentrating not just on their words but also on the meaning and feelings behind the words.

Studies in psychology tell us that the thing people value as much as direction or insight when they go to someone for counselling is to be in the presence of another human being who will actually look at them, listen to them, pay attention to them and treat their lives and hearts as though they mattered!

The Bible tells us that God pays attention to us. The great priestly blessing that God himself taught the people of Israel says this:

Numbers 6:24-26. “The LORD bless you and keep you; the LORD make his face shine upon you and be gracious to you; the LORD turn his face toward you and give you peace.” NIV

To turn your face toward someone is to give them your wholehearted, undivided attention. It is not the casual listening of a preoccupied mind. It is saying, “I have nothing else to do, nowhere I’d rather be. I’m fully devoted to being with you.” This is the kind of attention God gives to us.

Not only does God turn his face toward us, he will make it shine upon us. The shining face is a picture of delight, like proud parents beaming at their newborn baby, or the radiant face of a groom as he watches his bride walk the aisle. As a communicator – there’s nothing more encouraging than people who pay attention and whose faces are shining. And the opposite is true – people who are critiquing, are in a bad mood, or studying the patterns on my shirt!

God pays attention to us, really close attention. Jesus said, “The very hairs of your head are all numbered (Luke 12:7).” That’s an easier task for some of us than others! Often we don’t even notice when someone changes their hairstyle, yet God notices when one hair falls out. He may not replace it, but at least he notices it. Jesus is not teaching about God’s incredible capacity to crunch the numbers but that God is amazingly attentive to even the smallest details of our lives.

To become more loving means to become more like God. It means to see as he sees, to listen as he listens and to attend as he attends to the people in your relational world.

  • Love remembers  - birthdays, events and even seemingly insignificant details.
  • Love notices – differences, moods, joys, fears, and changes.
  • Love listens – turn your face, look people in the eye, be fully present, listen to the words and to their heart.

When we slow down enough to listen to people we become more able to listen to God. We learn not only to slow down but also to focus and to listen. This helps us deal with our spiritual attention deficit disorder.

Jesus often said, “Let anyone with ears listen!”(Matthew 11:15; 13:9, 43). Love pays attention and then responds. 

See a need today and then do your best to meet it or at least be a part of the solution. Simply listening and taking interest in others has a powerfully positive impact on them. 

Think about it: love pays attention.

Mark Conner Personal Development

How’s Your Passion?

Passion

In the world we live in, passion is often a key to success and impact.

In a research study of over 500 top performers from all areas of work, the arts and sports, this statement was made, “No two were alike, but the one quality they had in common was passion. It was their drive, their enthusiasm, their desire that distinguished them.”

Another study of great people was done looking for essential qualities of their success. It wasn't intelligence (75% of U.S. presidents were in the lower half of their class, 50% of Fortune 500 CEO's averaged C- in school and 50% of self-made millionaires who made it on their own had no university college degree), gifts or talents, background or appearance. It was attitude (how they chose to think) and passion (how they chose to feel). Successful people have drive and enthusiasm (found in the heart not the head).

The Crocodile Hunter, Steve Erwin, was the highest paid Australian for many years – making more than other Australian rock stars, sports stars, famous movie stars and celebrities. What was his key to success? He sure was passionate about crocodiles – and any other dangerous animal on the planet! 

Passion is more important than knowledge, your background, your IQ, your gifts, your talents, your abilities, your appearance, your finances, your position, your personality, your education or any other thing.

Having any or all of these things is valuable but possessing the fire is invaluable. Nothing major in history was ever accomplished without zeal and passion. It is THE deciding difference between successful and unsuccessful people in every field of endeavour. The fire on the inside affects everything on the outside.

The difference between good and great is often passion. A passionate person with a few skills will usually out-perform a passive person with many skills. American author William Ward once said, "Enthusiasm and persistence can make an average person superior while indifference and lethargy can make a superior person average."

The important thing to realise is that passion is not something that is static or that stays the same. It can grow OR it can die down and even go out altogether. Like the fire on a lit match, passion never stays the same – it either spreads or it burns out. The natural tendency of fire is to go out. The same is true with passion. That’s why we need to guard and protect it.

So what are some of your passion killers? And more importantly, what are some of your passion lighters? Give these two questions some quality reflection time over the coming weekend and turn your experience into insight.

May you live your life every day with great passion!

"Never be lacking in zeal, but keep your spiritual fervour, serving the Lord." Romans 12:11. NIV

"Don’t burn out; keep yourselves fuelled and aflame. Be alert servants of the Master." Romans 12:11. The Message Bible

Mark Conner Personal

2018 … Off and Away!

Mark contemporary copy

It’s hard to believe that we are already into February! The new year is well underway. I am loving life and really enjoying this new season. Nicole and I continue to base in the Sunshine Coast, Queensland with regular visits to Melbourne to visit our family and friends.

This year, I am giving my time to a variety of pursuits including speaking, coaching pastors and church leaders, and some work with Halftime Australia. I’ve also been updating my dad’s web site (Kevin Conner), including uploading a number of his books in eBook format on Amazon, creating a new design for my wife’s web site (Nicole Conner), and for my own web site (Mark Conner).

There has been a lot of change for me and my family since this time last year (read: Time to Say Goodbye) but we are so glad that we made the choices we did – to begin a new chapter and to launch out into the great unknown.

I hope that the year is off to a good start for you too.

All the best.

[A special thanks to Tim Harris from www.truetribe.com.au for the new photos]

Mark Conner News

2018 … Off and Away!

It’s hard to believe we are already into February! The new year is well underway. I am loving life and really enjoying this new season. Nicole and I continue to base in the Sunshine Coast, Queensland with regular visits to Melbourne to visit our family and friends.

This year, I am giving my time to a variety of pursuits including speaking, coaching pastors and church leaders, and some work with Halftime Australia. I’ve also been updating my dad’s web site (Kevin Conner), including uploading a number of his books in eBook format on Amazon, and my wife’s web site too (Nicole Conner).

There has been a lot of change for me and my family since this time last year but we are so glad that we made the choices we did – to begin a new chapter and launch out into the unknown.

I hope that year is off to a good start for you too.

All the best.

[A special thanks to Tim Harris from www.truetribe.com.au for the new web front page photo]

Mark Conner Personal Development

Becoming Childlike … Again

Childlike
 
When you were a kid, what excited you? What were you interested in? What gave you a buzz? What made you feel at home? 

The apostle Paul talked about putting away 'childish things' when he grew up and became a man (1 Corinthians 13:11). But there is a big difference between being 'childish' and 'childlike'. He definitely wasn't taking about not having fun, losing a sense of adventure or of becoming boringly serious! In fact, Jesus said that unless we become like a child we will never enter the kingdom of heaven (Matthew 18:1-3). Yes, we are to grow in maturity but we are also to maintain a childlike approach to life. 

Think about some of the positive qualities of children that we want to hang on to even as we grow older:

  1. Joy and Wonder – kids have an amazing sense of fun, adventure and excitement. As we grow older, we can easily lose this and become increasingly negative and cynical about life.
  1. Receptive and Open – kids are teachable and eager to learn. As we grow older, we can become less teachable and more resistant to change.
  1. Emotionally Honest –kids  express their feelings fairly quickly and unselfconsciously. As we grow older we can tend to freeze up more and hold in our real feelings.
  1. Simple Trust – kids' natural tendency is to trust others without analysing and questioning everything. As we grow older we can tend to develop a fair amount of (inappropriate) suspicion and fear.
  1. An Adventurous Spirit – kids love action-orientated activities, even if they are dangerous at times. As we grow older we can tend to play it safe more and choose to avoid risk (staying in our comfort zones).
  1. Freedom to be themselves – kids are very real with few inhibitions. As we grow older we can tend to wear masks and play the game of what we think others want us to be.

We all need to regain some of our childlikeness! After all, the world doesn’t need more negative, cynical, closed off, fake, suspicious and risk-averse people who take life too seriously!

Two final stories: As a kid I loved to sit and read through the encyclopaedias on the bookshelves at the house of some friends who my parents visited regularly. No wonder my #1 strength is Learner! I love new ideas. In primary school, I also started writing a book about the travel adventures of my friend Steve and I going around the world. Who would have known that I would grow up to love travel (travelling to over 30 countries) and writing.

Maybe its time for all of us to become a little more childlike … again. Don't become a prisoner to the expectations of the people around you. Let your childhood passions help navigate you on your work and life journey. 

Our earliest instincts are a big part of who we are and therefore signposts for our future dreams. As you consider your life ahead, go back to that foundation. Do some archaeological digging. You might just find some keys to a life of greater meaning and contribution. Maybe it's time for another adventure?