Mark Conner Personal Development

Do Your Best

Best
 
Quite coincidently, I heard a similar statement from two different people in two different places over the last week. It went something like this: “Don’t try to be the best, simply do your best.” That’s quite thought-provoking, isn’t it.
 
We live in a competitive, dog-eat-dog world today. Everyone is trying to out-do the next person. We all want to be number one. Get to the front of the line. The top of the class. It's a call to excellence. After all, winning isn’t everything, it's the only thing. Or so they tell us.
 
But this can leave us all incredibly tired at the end of the day and very disappointed in ourselves because we never feel like we are getting ahead in the rat race that has our life has degenerated into.  
 
The truth is that in any endeavour or activity that you engage in there will most likely be someone in the world who can do it better than you and others who aren’t quite as good as you. That’s reality. Of course, no one can do what you do exactly as you do it. That's because you bring your uniqueness to every situation.
 
My mother used to teach me when I was younger to "do my best … and leave the rest”. If I always did the best that I could at the time, that was enough. I then needed to learn from it and move on. If I did really well and dwelt on it too long, I’d start to get puffed up with pride, thinking too highly of myself. If I didn’t do that well and lingered on my performance too long, I would start to get discouraged and even depressed, thinking too lowly of myself.
 
When life is over you won’t be compared to others … only to what you could have done with what you have been given compared to what you actually did. Now there is a challenging thought. 
 
So, find your voice. Sing your song. God's gift to you is your potential. Your gift back to him is what you do with it. Be the best you you can be. Yes, just do your best.
Mark Conner Personal Development, Spirituality

Flight Mode

Flight mode

I was travelling overseas recently and as the airplane took off the pilot reminded us to turn our phones off or put them in 'flight mode'. Flight mode suspends radio-frequency signal transmission on the device, thereby disabling Bluetooth, telephony, and Wi-Fi. As a result, during this time you can't receive any incoming phone calls, messages or email or surf the Internet. In some ways, this is nice. Could 'offline' could be the new nirvana!? Finally, no more inflow of things interrupting us and needing our attention … at least for a while. [Of course, some airplanes are now offering wi-fi for the entire trip so you don't ever have to be disconnected!]

We live in a world where distraction has become the norm. Our senses are over-stimulated. No wonder there is so much talk about meditation and mindfulness, which can help us learn to take time to just BE still and cease our endless activity. After all, hurry leads to skimming and it damages the quality of our relationships and our experience of life.

Maybe it's worth us taking some specific times during our day to intentionally go into 'flight mode'. Turn off your phone, put down your tools, move away from your computer and your task list. Tune out the noise. Cease the activity. Find a quiet place.

King David had a kingdom to run yet he penned these words from God speaking to his own restless soul: "Be still and know that I am God". Now there's a good mantra for a healthy soul in 'flight mode' …

Be still and know that I am God

Be still and know that I am

Be still and know

Be still

Be 

Mark Conner General Interest, Music, Preaching, Web/Tech

Video Messages

From time to time, I have people asking me about where they can listen to messages of me speaking. My web site now has a page with a variety of media links – including videos of messages I have given recently at different churches and over the last few years, as well as some worship videos/audios too.

Check it out here.

Happy listening 🙂

Mark speaking

Mark Conner Personal Development

Can You Teach Someone to be Teachable?

GlobeI was in Perth recently speaking at a church there and I had a great question from a young leader at the break between two of my sessions with the church staff team: "Can you teach someone to be teachable?" I had to stop and think about that one. What an insightful question. If someone is not teachable, can you teach them? Probably not … but I started to think about ways that you can help people recognise their need to learn from others.

During our conversation, I shared the following example which I heard many years ago … 

Imagine a group of people sitting in a circle around a table with a world globe in the middle. A few observations …

  1. Firstly, everyone sees the world differently, depending on where they are sitting. No one sees it exactly the same.
  2. Secondly, no one sees the world accurately. There are parts of the globe that each person does not see. No one person has the full perspective, no matter who they are. If any individual thinks that they have the complete perspective all by themselves, then they are nothing short of ignorant … and proud.
  3. Thirdly, the only way to get an accurate picture of the world is to combine everyone's perspective. We must listen to those who see differently from us to learn about what we cannot see.

Take the world globe off the table and replace it with anything else – an issue, a decision needing to be made, a conflict … whatever. The lessons are still the same. We need other people's perspective to add to our own in order to gain wisdom for life.

An illustration such as this could be the first step in helping someone become more teachable … by showing them the reality of their need for the input and perspective other people.

How's your teachability?

Mark Conner Personal Development, Relationships

Life Change

Change-challengeLife change and character development take place best in the context of relationships.

For example, when our three children were growing up, I noticed that when they are 'alone', such as on a date with me, each of them had the ability to be extremely angelic. However, when they were ‘together’, especially in the backseat of our car, something demonic seemed to emerge! “He hit me,  … she hit me first… he’s looking out my window … no, I’m not … she’s ignoring me, dad … he ignored me first … etc, etc.” You get the picture! Yet it was in their interaction with one another that their character had the potential of growing the most.

It’s the same with us – qualities such as patience, kindness and forgiveness are easy when you’re by yourself but it’s in the daily real life interaction with other people that we are really tested and where these qualities have the potential to be worked into our character.

  • I can be very patient when I'm not waiting for someone.
  • I can be very forgiving when no one has offended me.
  • I am very kind when no one is being mean to me.

It is in the very process of doing life with other people – with all of their idiosyncrasies – that we grow and mature as people. Even a challenging relationship can be as powerfully transforming as a relationship that happens almost without effort – maybe even more so. 

Solomon, one of the wisest persons who ever lived, wrote this over 2,500 years ago:

"As iron sharpens iron, so one person sharpens another." Proverbs 27:17.

That sounds like a bit of friction and a few sparks to me!

When you become part of a family, a team, a neighbourhood or a small group, there will be people who are different than you there, maybe very different! Yet, often these kinds of relationships provide the opportunity for us to grow and develop the most. They draw us out of our comfort zones and stretch our loving capacity.

Are you having a challenging time with someone right now? Maybe instead of trying to get rid of them or removing yourself from them, consider what change or transformation this situation could work out in you – if you responded differently (0f course, I'm not talking about staying in abusive or unsafe environments). 

Life change … think about it.