Mark Conner Personal Development, Spirituality

Navigating the Stages of Faith

A few years ago, I wrote about stages of the life of faith. I have been thinking about this again recently and I strongly believe that this is an insightful way to view our faith in and relationship to God. I have edited the number of stages and their names, as well as some of the descriptions as I prepare to speak about this at a church leaders' conference next week.

Personal and spiritual growth occurs over a period of time and always involves a process that is very much like a journey. Many people find it helpful to have a roadmap or at least a loose guide for their journey of faith.

Have a look at the following diagram … then read the descriptions below. 

Stages of Faith

Stages in the Life of Faith

Awareness. This is where we all begin our journey of faith. The experience of faith at this stage is the discovery and recognition of God. It is accepting the fact of the reality of God in our lives. Someone bigger than us really exists and truly loves us. This may occur in childhood or later in life as adults. For some people this is a very identifiable experience, like a moment in time where everything changes. For others, there is a gradual realisation, with no certainty as to just where or when the experience began. Either way, we simply ‘know’ that God is there. Factors contributing to this experience can be either a sense of awe or a sense of need in our lives. [See posts on Waking Up and Awareness]

Growth. This stage is about learning and belonging. We begin to learn, explore, absorb and put into place our set of beliefs or faith principles. In this stage we learn the most about God by association with others we respect and trust. We are apprentices. We need others because we are relatively unsure and insecure at first in our growth and what we believe. The group also provides a sense of belonging, which helps to alleviate some of our feelings of fear and even inadequacy that accompany the excitement of new learning. The group begins to give us a sense of identity and security. We start to feel at home, with family. We are loved and accepted, despite our struggles. It’s not always easy but we are with our kind of people. We have a sense of security and comfort in our faith.

Contribution. This stage is best described as the ‘doing’ stage as it is the period of time where we find ourselves most consciously working in service for God. It’s now time to give in return for all we have received. This is usually a very active stage of our journey. It is positive and dynamic, centred on being productive in the area of our faith. This stage nourishes us because it is so personally rewarding. It operates on goals and achievement, building and creating, which can be exciting, fulfilling, inspiring and fruitful. We start to feel unique within our community. We are taking on extra responsibility. We feel a degree of confidence because of our experience. Leadership may be part of this stage.

The Wall. Eventually we experience what can be referred to as "The Wall" – a face to face experience with God and with our own will. This stage is a deep and very personal inward journey. It almost always comes as an unsettling experience yet results in healing for those who continue through it. Until now, our journey has had a very external dimension to it – the community of faith, serving with our gifts, leading others, and productivity. Upon entering this stage, many people experience a period of questioning, exploring, doubting, and even uncertainty. This can be caused by a life or faith crisis. For the first time our faith does not seem to work the same as it has before and our answers seem inadequate, leaving us feeling quite vulnerable. Some people refuse to engage fully with this stage. Therefore, they become inadequate guides for others who enter this stage.

This time is a critical experience. It represents another layer of transformation and a potentially renewed layer of faith – for those who have the courage to move into it. We decide anew whether we are willing to surrender and let God direct our lives. This is a time of mystery and not something we can do through our own strength or wisdom. This is a pivotal moment. We are afraid, yet drawn to surrender, knowing it will not be easy, but that it will be worthwhile. We are dying to self and letting God be God. 

Surrender. This is the next step after rediscovering God and accepting his love afresh. We surrender anew to God’s will to fully direct our lives. This outward journey may seem similar to earlier stages, but our focus is different. We have changed. We endure suffering gracefully, because of our confidence in God. Our primary motivation in life becomes the desire to love honestly and live according to God’s purposes. There is a fresh sense of calling, vocation or ministry. We start to focus more on other people’s best interests. We start to experience a deep calm and stillness. This is a time to acknowledge with deeper conviction that we are not in control and that our lives are in God's hands. We learn to trust in Providence. With Job we declare, "Though he slay me, yet will I hope in him" (Job 13:15).

Paradox. By this stage, we find a new certainty in God while being comfortable with ambiguity in life. We learn to live in the tension between "the Now" and the "Not Yet". We are okay with liminal spaces. We embrace and even celebrate mystery. We let go of black and white and embrace the wonderful rainbow of colours in a God-inhabited universe. We embrace the joy of not knowing it all – and it's okay. 

Love. At this stage we reflect God to others in the world more clearly and consistently than we ever thought possible. We let our light shine in such a way that God is given the credit and the thanks. We have lost ourselves yet truly found ourselves. We are selfless. Life is not about ME (see Selfie post). We are at peace with ourselves, fully conscious of being the person God created us to be. Obedience comes naturally. We give our all without feeling that it means surrender or sacrifice. We are at one with the Spirit of God. God becomes everything to us.

There is a mystery to our journey of faith. Everyone is unique and will experience variations in their individual journey but we are all headed in the same direction – closer to God. It is helpful to view this journey as a circle rather than as a linear progression. God is at the centre. He is at work in each stage and our goal is not to try to control our growth experience but to draw closer to him in each season. There are no set formulas for spiritual growth nor can we always know exactly where we are in our spiritual journey. Stages may overlap and we may re-visit stages at times.

Reflection Questions

  1. Where do you think you are now in your own journey of faith and why?
  2. Where have you been in the past? What stages do you recognise or identify with?
  3. Select two Bible characters and see if you can see this pattern in their faith journey.
  4. What are some insights for relating well to others who may be at a different stage than you?
  5. What sort of activities or experiences might be most helpful at each stage – and especially the stage you are at right now?
  6. Many churches focus primarily on the first three stages. How can church leaders better equip and prepare followers of Jesus for the full journey of faith will all it nuances and diverse experiences?
Mark Conner Books, Family, General Interest, Personal Development

NEW Book Release: “Money Talks: Practical Principles for Becoming Financially Free”

Money Talks - Cover (International Version)I am excited to announce the release of a new book I have written called Money Talks: Practical Wisdom for Becoming Financially Free. 

Those of us who live in the Western world live in some of the richest countries on the planet yet, despite this fact, many people are under financial pressure. In this book, I share practical principles for becoming financially free and living wisely with the resources we have. Learn fresh insights about earning, saving, investing, debt reduction and spending wisely. The book also includes extra material on alleviating poverty, church finances, fundraising and the purpose of business.

For those who live in Australia, you can order a paperback copy from WORD Australia for the special price of $15.00 (RRP $17.99). 

OR you can purchase it in eBook format for Kindle, or other eReaders, on the Australian Amazon site (for AUS $11.99).

OR, if you live in a country other than Australia, you can purchase the international edition in paperback format on Amazon (US $12.99) or in eBook format for Kindle also on the USA Amazon site (for US $9.23) or 10 other Amazon sites around the world (check your locality).

Some Endorsements:

“Countless books on how to use money compete for readers. It is easy to find complicated ones. It is common to find those that just promote getting rich, even by so-called Christians. There are plenty of theoretical studies that are hard to apply and how-to-manuals not based in good theory. But where does one find a short, practical, biblically grounded, clearly written little book that addresses all the important questions about using money in Christian ways with up-to-date charts, graphs and statistics to back everything up? Mark Conner has now written it. Get a copy. Devour it. Then live it out.” 

Craig L. Blomberg, Distinguished Professor of New Testament. Denver Seminary, Littleton, CO

“It is often not productive to ask pastors for their views on finance or financiers for their views on pastoral care. It is therefore very refreshing to read Mark Conner’s ‘Money Talks: Practical Principles for Becoming Financially Free’, which blends the insights of the pastor with the practical applications of someone who has thought carefully about the power that money has over us. He tackles the biblical road map to freedom in financial matters with a persuasive skill and hands on application.”     

Ken Costa, Author: God at Work

"Mark Conner has a wealth of experience when it comes to the vital subject of how Christians should handle their money. In this practical guide to saving, spending and giving, he helps us view our finances from God's perspective. He eloquently explains where our hearts should be focussed and offers biblical financial principles that stand the test of time. It's a timely antidote to this age of conspicuous consumption." 

Tim Costello, Chief Advocate, World Vision Australia

"Mark Conner has written a fantastic book about money and generosity. Many today are looking for wisdom to help us navigate the tensions we face in income inequality, stewardship and wealth, and to reflect the heart and wisdom of Jesus when it comes to our resources. Theologically strong, yet immensely practical, Mark does this so well. I highly recommend this book to you.” 

Jon Tyson, Church Planter and Author. Church of the City New York

“Mark Conner’s capacity as a leader is only outweighed by his honesty, big-heartedness and integrity. In the chapters of this book we see his authenticity jump off each page. “Money Talks” is not only accessible and well researched – it is REAL! His down to earth teaching is heaven sent – a balm for the fiscally frazzled!” 

Rob Buckingham, Senior Minister, Bayside Church Melbourne

“This is a timely and significant book about managing our money well. Mark provides practical ideas to help us improve our thinking about money as well as our daily practices. This book is a great read!”     

Lisa McInness Smith, Global Keynote Speaker. Best-Selling Author. Transformational Coach

“In the time I have known Mark, his strength of character, leadership and deep understanding of biblical teachings have had a profound impact on my life. Mark’s ability to translate complex issues into simple and actionable disciplines is a rare gift, and it is one that he delivers in a deeply personal and authentic way. One of the many principles that Mark has taught and practiced both in his personal life and church leadership role, is financial freedom. As a student of Mark’s teaching, I have witnessed individuals and families transform their financial situations from being hamstrung with credit card debt to owning their own properties and running successful businesses. With the wisdom contained in these chapters, I am confident that reading this book will challenge your perspective on biblical stewardship and provide you with the tools to achieve true financial freedom.”

Dan Daniels, Founder and Global CEO Daniels Health

“Finances can be the F word for many of us, but Dr Mark Conner is a person to trust when it comes to making sense of financial headaches. From million dollar budgets in some of largest churches to standing with people living in extreme poverty, Mark has seen it all. With 7 in 10 people currently living on less than $10 a day and disparity between rich and poor creating global instability, this book could not be more urgent or important. This book will especially help us Christians in rich countries to take stock, pray, think and find imaginative ways to be a solution to injustice in the world by making the most of God’s resources at our disposal. Please read this practical, prophetic book and act on Mark’s advice. It will help us all.”
 
Rev Dr Ash Barker, Director, Newbigin School for Urban Leadership (NewbiginHouse.uk)
Mark Conner Leadership, Personal Development

Bridging the Knowing-Doing Gap

DoI love learning new things. In fact, I can become obsessive with new ideas, leading to me becoming the 'expert' in my family about everything and anything. Yes, I'm a maven for new information.
 
Ever since I was a kid, I’ve loved books. In fact, when my parents visited friend’s house, after dinner I’d love to sit by their bookshelf and browse through the encyclopedias, reading on a wide range of topics and subjects. [Hint: looking back into your childhood can tell you a lot about your gifts and passions!]
 
As I’ve grown older I’ve come to realise that knowledge is important but it doesn’t change the world. Action does. It’s great to gain information but unless it is used and put into practice, it accomplishes little.
 
C.S. Lewis once said, “People need to be reminded more than they need to be instructed.” Think about that. Our greatest need isn’t to learn new things but to be reminded to do what we already know.
 
In their best-selling business book, The Knowing-Doing Gap: How Smart Companies Turn Knowledge into Action, authors Jeffrey Pfeffer and Robert Sutton note how many organisations do a lot of talking but often fail to put much of it into action. Plans, analysis, meetings, and presentations can become subtle substitutes for action. Companies may spend thousands of dollars on staff training yet very little of the experience and insight translates in any tangible, lasting change.
 
John Maxwell says, “Most Christians are educated beyond the level of their obedience.” Ouch! We already know so many things but we struggle embedding them as habits and rituals in our daily lives. That’s where the rubber hits the road, as they say. 
 
Jesus’ brother James understood this too. Almost 2,000 years ago he wrote a letter to people just like you and me living in the first century. This is what he said:
 
James 1:22-25. But don’t just listen to God’s word. You must do what it says. Otherwise, you are only fooling yourselves. For if you listen to the word and don’t obey, it is like glancing at your face in a mirror. You see yourself, walk away, and forget what you look like. But if you look carefully into the perfect law that sets you free, and if you do what it says and don’t forget what you heard, then God will bless you for doing it. NLT
 
Eugene Peterson translates it this way in The Message Bible: 
 
James 1:22-25. Don't fool yourself into thinking that you are a listener when you are anything but, letting the Word go in one ear and out the other. Act on what you hear! Those who hear and don't act are like those who glance in the mirror, walk away, and two minutes later have no idea who they are, what they look like. But whoever catches a glimpse of the revealed counsel of God—the free life!—even out of the corner of his eye, and sticks with it, is no distracted scatterbrain but a man or woman of action. That person will find delight and affirmation in the action. MB
 
So how do we bridge this ‘knowing-doing gap’? How do we make sure we are applying what we are learning? Only by intentionally choosing to put into practice what we know. Don’t deceive yourself by pursuing continual learning but without applying what you already know.
 
Here are 7 questions to help you bridge the knowing-doing gap:
  1. "What have I heard and/or learnt in the last few months that needs putting into practice?"
  2. "What new habit or ritual do I need to start … today? "
  3. "Where have I drifted that requires me to get back on track?"
  4. "What fear is holding me back?"
  5. "What problem/issue am I facing that is simply a decision waiting to happen?" Remember, what we tolerate never changes! Tap into the power of desperation by refusing to tolerate the unacceptable.
  6. "What discussion have I been a part of that now needs implementing?"
  7. "What reminder could I benefit from reading every day?" Write it on a 'post it' note and put it on your bathroom mirror or make it your computer background image (I have my yearly goals as slides rotating as my computer screen-saver so I see them every day).

Then as Nike says … “Just Do It!”

That’s where authentic change and transformation takes place. 

Mark Conner Church, Leadership, Personal, Personal Development

My Experience with Burnout

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My first encounter with burnout was back in 2002. I experienced what I would call an ‘emotional valley’ that lasted for about 6 months. I wasn’t sure what was wrong with me but it took everything within me just to make it through the next meeting, the next appointment or the next project. My mood was higher when something was done, rather than when I was leading up to it or during the event or experience. I felt overwhelmed a lot of the time and didn’t have the energy to think much beyond what was right in front of me. It was subtle but very debilitating. 

I grappled with whether this was a mid-life crisis. After all, I had recently turned 40 years of age. Or was it some kind of spiritual attack from the enemy that I simply needed to withstand? Or maybe it was some sort of wilderness experience where God was trying to test my faith or develop my character further? I really wasn’t sure. Everything in my life on the outside was going well – health, family, friendships and ministry – but something was clearly wrong. With the help of a personal coach, I came to realise that I had been living at an unsustainable pace. I would go on a mission trip with a team to India for two weeks, come back on a Friday then preach at my church five times on the weekend then head to the USA on the Monday. As a result, my emotions were simply shutting down, refusing to live at this breakneck speed. They only seemed to provide me with enough energy for what was directly in front of me, and only just. I had nothing left over in reserve nor could I get excited about anything much beyond today. 

It took time to come out of this valley. There was no instant fix or snapping out of this. I had to slow down, take more time off, rest more and lower the high expectations I had on myself when it came to productivity. I shared openly with my family, friends and close team members at work about what was going on. They were are huge support to me during this time. 

I now recognise the indicators when I am nearing this valley again. Similar to when you go slightly over the edge of a road when driving a car, I can feel the danger signs. I have learned to pay attention to these signals and to make adjustments so I don’t go there again. As I mentioned before, one of the key indicators for me is when I am not looking forward to something nor am I enjoying the moment I am engaging in a particular activity. If my highest positive emotion is when I am done with a task, meeting or event, then I am in a vulnerable place. I have also benefited greatly from having an external mentor like Keith Farmer in the years following this experience. He was able to assist me in continually monitoring the state of my emotional tank. 

During 2015-2016, I had another experience with burnout. It was different this time and I wasn’t fully aware of it. Looking back, I see that it was more the result of the cumulative wear and tear of being on church staff for 32 years and of being a senior pastor for 22 of those years. The church I led had grown quite significantly (from about 1,500 people to around 10,000) resulting in a much larger workload, greater complexity, and a large organisation to be responsible for. In addition, at this time the growth of the church had slowed somewhat and, for various reasons, my wife, Nicole, was no longer as involved as she was in the earlier years. I missed her participation very much. My hope for the future, my drive and my motivation levels were at an all-time low. In retrospect, I can see that I was no longer enjoying my job. In fact, during my processing time, Nicole asked me an insightful question: “If you didn’t have your current job would you apply for it?” I had to admit that I wouldn’t. 

This provided the context for me eventually deciding it was time for a change – something that I believed would benefit me, my family and the church too. I officially resigned in February 2016, then a year later in February 2017 I finished up in my role as senior pastor, passed the baton to a new leader, and began a new season of life and ministry. After taking a few months off, I started engaging in some energising activities which perfectly fit my gifting and experience but without the degree of burden, pressure, and responsibility I had been carrying for so long. As a result, just one year later I am experiencing new amounts of joy, peace, and well-being in my life. I feel totally different. I feel so much better. I am enjoying each day and the activities and meetings I am involved in to a much greater degree. I have extra emotional reserves to sustain me. I am so glad I made the change. 

Christian psychologist Arch Hart notes that there is a difference between burnout, stress, and depression. Burnout is more emotional while stress is more physical in its symptoms. Burnout often includes a sense of helplessness or hopelessness, a loss of motivation and drive, and a lethargy.

Are you experiencing any degree of burnout? If you are, I strongly encourage you to give attention to your inner world. Talk to an experienced counsellor, get some help and be courageous enough to make some tough decisions, if necessary. You will be so glad you did. 

Let me finish with these amazingly freeing words from Jesus: 

“Are you tired? Worn out? Burned out on religion? Come to me. Get away with me and you'll recover your life. I'll show you how to take a real rest. Walk with me and work with me—watch how I do it. Learn the unforced rhythms of grace. I won't lay anything heavy or ill-fitting on you. Keep company with me and you'll learn to live freely and lightly.”

Matthew 11:28-30. The Message Bible. 

Here is some additional recommended reading: