December 2020 - Mark Conner

December 30, 2020December 30, 2020 Mark Conner Personal Development, Soul Food

Soul Food Episode 18 – Time Out

I am a sports lover – especially basketball and football. In any sports game, from time to time a team will take a time out. A time out is a pause in the action where everyone can take a quick breather …. and think about how the game is going.

It’s the same in life. We can easily become so busy living our life that we don’t take time to STOP … and think about how’s going. Do we know our why? Are we becoming the person we really want to be? Are we heading in the direction we want to be going? If we don’t take a time out, we can tend to drift and our good intentions never become reality.

One of the most helpful habits I have established for myself is a weekly Time Out. It’s a 60-90 minute appointment with myself. I think it’s one of the best uses of your time you could ever make.

So what do you do in a weekly time out?

Firstly, it’s a chance to review the next steps you have set for yourself. A goal set and never looked again at is merely a wish. It’s so easy to drift and forget who we want to be and what we want to accomplish. We can easily be distracted and the urgent squeezes out the important. Reflecting on our next steps regularly ensures we stay on track with where we are headed.

Secondly, it’s an opportunity to review the previous week. Look back over your diary and reflect on what happened – your your relationships, your meetings, your appointments. Gather all your loose ends – messages, emails, tasks, incomplete projects, mail, or anything else in your ‘inbox’.

Finally, it’s a chance to preview the coming week. What commitments do you already have? Is your time going towards what is important? Do you need to make any changes or get released from previous agreements? What steps could you take towards achieving your goals? Do you have rest and recovery time? Time for self-care and fun?

I’ve been doing this for many years now and would say its one of the best habits for effective living. I have done my weekly Time Out on Fridays some years and on Mondays at other times, but right now I like to do it on Saturday or Sunday afternoon. Find what works for you and how often. Maybe every few days is better for you or once a month.

Successful people know their priorities and focus their energy on them. They know what is important and they keep ‘first things first’. They use their time wisely and they ensure that urgent things don’t keep them from doing what is really important.

What’s your purpose? What’s your priority? What’s most important? What next steps are you aiming to accomplish? The issue is not whether next year will be busy but what it will be busy with. Lots of activity does not always equal significant accomplishment. A weekly Time Out helps us keep on track.

Let’s recap our main points:

A regular Time Out is one of the most important life habits.
Take time to review your next steps on a weekly basis.
Take time to review your previous week and prepare for the coming week.
Successful people know their priorities and focus their energy on them.

That’s all for today. Soul Food will be taking a break over the month of January. We’ve done 18 episodes so far. Why not review some of the ones you missed or that were most helpful to you. See you in February!

You can watch a video of this episode on the Soul Food YouTube channel.

For further reading, see Getting Things Done by David Allen, The Essentialist by Greg Kckeown, and First Things First by Stephen Covey.

December 25, 2020December 25, 2020 Mark Conner Special Events

The Christmas Story

Merry Christmas everyone! I hope this is a special and meaningful time for you, your family, and your friends.

The Christmas Story

Christmas is about the birth of Jesus. Let’s take a few moments today to think about this significant event, as recorded in the Gospel of Luke 2:1-22 in The Message Bible.

Sometimes we develop fairly romantic or sentimental thoughts and feelings about the Christmas story. Even a surface reading of this story causes us to easily miss some of the details. The reality is that Jesus’ birth was not all tinsel, mistletoe, and carol singing. It occurred amidst considerable inconvenience. Let’s pick up the story …

Luke 2:4-5. Joseph went from the Galilean town of Nazareth up to Bethlehem in Judah, David’s town, for the census. As a descendant of David, he had to go there. He went with Mary, his fiancée, who was pregnant.

Ah, the hassle of having to travel from Nazareth to Bethlehem … that’s 157 kilometers! It would have been a multiple day trip, as people walked everywhere at that time in history or occasionally took an Uber donkey. Not only that, the trip was up a steep hill! … and Mary is very pregnant. Ah, the annoyance and the inconvenience.

And Joseph and Mary weren’t even married at this point. Think of the shame and the pain, especially in that culture. Imagine the gossip, the rumors, the talk going on … as they ventured into the public eye. I am sure they would have preferred to be hidden away somewhere.

Let’s keep reading …

Luke 2:6-7. While they were there, the time came for her to give birth. She gave birth to a son, her firstborn. She wrapped him in a blanket and laid him in a manger because there was no room in the hostel.

Jesus was born into a relatively poor, humble peasant family. Not only that, his birth occurred while Joseph and Mary were on the road traveling. How much better it would have been if they were able to be at home.

Then there was no room in the hostel. There must have been crowds of people there. There was no special treatment, privileges, or conveniences for this family. What about Business Class or First Class? Surely, an upgrade? A room with a view!? Don’t people know who they are! Jesus’ very arrival into this world models humility and simplicity. It sure wasn’t easy. It was downright inconvenient.

Christmas 2020

What a year of inconvenience 2020 has been! Because of The COVID-19 pandemic, many of us have had to go through multiple lockdowns for many months, the loss of jobs, the closing down of shops and businesses, isolation from family and friends, sickness and even death for some, and churches not able to meet in person.

Who would have thought? It is highly unlikely that this Christmas you have everyone together who you would like to be with. Some of us have family interstate or even overseas. This Christmas feels a little different. Many of us are feeling tired or still recovering from ’emotional claustrophobia’. It hasn’t been an easy year, by any stretch of the imagination.

The First Christmas

It was the same way at the first Christmas. Yet right into that environment of inconvenience, Jesus was born. Immanuel, God with Us, the Son of God, the Saviour of the world, and the long-awaited Messiah.

Notice two things that come with the arrival of Jesus …

Firstly, JOY.

An angel appeared in glory with a huge angelic choir and announced ‘good news’ to some lowly shepherds.

Luke 2:10-11. The angel said, “Don’t be afraid. I’m here to announce a great and joyful event that is meant for everybody, worldwide: A Savior has just been born in David’s town, a Savior who is Messiah and Master.”

I love that phrase, “A great and joyful event, meant for everyone, worldwide.” This was good news about the birth of a child who would change the course of history … for everyone.

My prayer for you this Christmas is that you will experience an incredible sense of joy because of Jesus. Joy is very different than happiness. Happiness is based on what ‘happens’ to you. It’s dependent on external circumstances. IF you’ve had a good year, IF everyone is going well for you, IF you are blessed and prosperous …THEN you can be happy.

Joy is very different. It is NOT dependent on circumstances or everything going well for you. It is something you can experience deep inside of you – regardless of what may be happening in your life or the world around you. Joy even in the middle of inconvenience! May you know JESUS JOY today and this season. An inner sense of shalom, well-being, and wholeness.

The second thing that comes with the arrival of Jesus is PEACE.

Luke 2:13-14. At once the angel was joined by a huge angelic choir singing God’s praises: Glory to God in the heavenly heights, Peace to all men and women on earth who please him.

Peace is the opposite of strife, tension, or conflict. It is a sense of harmony and well-being. That’s what Jesus came to bring and still does today. My prayer for you this Christmas is that you too will experience an amazing sense of peace in your life – peace with God. the peace of God, and peace with other people around you.

Make Room

There was no room at the hostel for Jesus on the day he was born (Luke 2:7). May there be room in our hearts and lives for him this Christmas Day. As we welcome him into our lives and world afresh … we can know him personally and experience his JOY and his PEACE, even in the midst of inconvenient circumstances.

That’s my prayer for you today.

Merry Christmas!

You can listen to this 15-minute Christmas Day message on Mark’s audio podcast channel or on his YouTube video channel.

December 23, 2020November 26, 2020 Mark Conner Personal Development, Soul Food

Soul Food Episode 17 – Next Steps

With the new year not far away, a lot of people start talking about ‘new year’s resolutions’. Do they work or don’t they? Are they worth setting or just a waste of time?

Well, research indicates that 25 percent of people abandon their New Year’s resolutions after one week. Another 60 percent of people abandon them within six months. Interestingly, the average person makes the same New Year’s resolutions 10 times without success. Amazingly, even after a heart attack, only 14 percent of patients make any meaningful change around eating or exercise.

What’s the point? Change is hard! And New Year’s resolutions don’t tend to work … but goal setting does!

Psychological studies reveal that the simple act of setting goals then writing down them down increases your likelihood of achieving those goals by 42 percent. There’s power in written goals.

Now I’m sure that some of you LOVE setting goals. If you do, you probably know about SMART Goals.

S stands for Specific. They’re not vague or general.
M stands for Measurable. They are quantifiable.
A stands for Actionable. You can do something about them.
R stands for Realistic. They might be difficult but they are possible.
T stands for Time-Bound. They have a deadline – a date for completion.

Saying I want to lose weight is not a SMART goal. But writing down, “I want to reduce my weight to 95 kg by the 31st December” is. That was one of my goals for this year.

Simply saying I want to get better at helping other leaders is not a SMART goal. But writing down that, “I will complete a Diploma of Professional Coaching by 30th June 2021” is. That’s one of my current goals.

On the other hand, I am sure some of you don’t even like the word GOAL! It all sounds a bit corporate to you. I understand.

So why not think about your life in terms of your next steps?

Think back through the roles we discussed in last’s week’s episode – the many hats that you wear. What are your current roles? What kind of a person do you want to be in each role? What would you like to accomplish in each area this coming year? Now start thinking about your next steps to ensure that vision you have for your life becomes more of a reality this coming year.

With little or no effort, we tend to settle into old patterns and habits. It takes a great degree of effort to escape the inertia of the comfort zone. That’s why next steps are so important. They motivate us to move forward, to leave familiar, comfortable terrain and explore new frontiers.

One other insight … best-selling author Jim Collins encourages business leaders to set 5 new goals for their business at the beginning of each year … and decide to STOP doing 5 things. The magic is in deciding what to STOP. You can’t keep adding to your life year after year. You have to STOP doing some things to create the space, time, and energy to ADD new things

Let’s recap our main points:

Carefully crafting written goals is more effective than making New Year’s resolutions.
Consider what you want to STOP doing in order to make room for new things in your life.
Set some compelling next steps for each role in your life – ones that you will be excited to work towards.

That’s all for today.

See you next week!

You can watch this episode on the Soul Food YouTube Channel.

Recommending Reading: Your Best Year Yet by Michael Hyatt and Getting Things Done by David Allen.

December 16, 2020November 26, 2020 Mark Conner Personal Development, Soul Food

Soul Food Episode 16 – Many Hats

In life, we all wear many different hats. In fact, it helps to think about our life as a portfolio of different roles?

As a family member you might be a son or a daughter, a brother or a sister, a husband or a wife, a partner, a parent or a grandparent.
In your work, you might be an employee, a team member, a manager, or a CEO.
You could also have roles as a friend, a neighbour, and a volunteer … just to mention a few examples.

Your roles or your hats will change as you move through the different seasons of your life. For example, right now you may be a student, a daughter, a sister, a team member, and a part time employee. In a few years time you may be an employer, a wife, and a social club member. Later on you may be a wife, a mother, and a volunteer community leader.

In this season of my life, I have 5 primary hats or roles:

A person (that’s a role that helps me think through my own health and well-being)
A family member (I am a husband, father, brother, and grandparent),
A communicator (this includes my speaking, training, and writing)
A leader (including being a coach)
A business owner.

Identify all the roles that you have right now. Try to limit them to about 6 or 7 at the most … you can do that by grouping similar ones together.

Then think about the kind of person you want to be in each of your roles.

One of the helpful principles when thinking about your life to “begin with the end in mind”.

Imagine your own funeral, if you will. It’s the end of your life and someone who knew you well in each of your roles (family member, work associate, team member, neighbour, and friend) is going to give a tribute for you.

What would you want them to say?

If you can capture that picture vividly in your mind then you can more easily start today to become the person you really want to be.

You might even want to write out a description of the ideal person you want to be in each role – so you can refer to it regularly.

Obviously, our aim should be to do well in each of our roles at any given moment in time. You don’t want to succeed in only one or two areas of life to the detriment of other areas. For instance, what good is it to succeed in business and lose your family or your health?

Taking time to regular reflect on each role in our life, or the hats that we wear, helps ensure we keep a holistic perspective and maintain balance in our overall life.

Let’s recap our main points:

Life can be seen as a portfolio of different roles we play … or hats that we wear.
Take the time to think about the kind of person you want to be in each of your roles.
True success is doing our best at each of our roles at any given moment in time.

That’s all for today.

See you next week!

You can watch a video of this episode on the Soul Food YouTube channel.

December 9, 2020November 26, 2020 Mark Conner Personal Development, Soul Food

Soul Food Episode 15 – Your Why

One of my favourite items in the kitchen is the ice cream scoop. What an incredible invention! I don’t know how many bent spoons scattered the planet before some genius came up with this idea. It’s designed NOT to bend and to scoop out even the hardest ice cream effortlessly.

Now there are a lot of other things you could use this item for. You could dig out weeds in your garden with it. You could hammer a nail in. You could use it as a paper weight. Yes, there are multiple uses for an ice cream scoop BUT it functions best when used for the purpose its designer created it for.

In the same way, I believe YOU were created for a purpose. No one is an accident.

Your purpose is your why – why you get up in the morning, why you do what you do … the way you do it. Every human being has an innate longing to be useful – to do something meaningful with their life. Our soul has a need for contribution – a inner yearning to make a difference somehow.

And I find that your why is something you discover as much as something you decide.

You night have heard the motivational statement, “You can be anything you want to be!” Really?? Come on, that’s not really true, is it. I’d rephrase it to say “You can do anything you were created to do!”

As we think about our life it is vital that we realise we have one life to live. This is it. It’s not a dress rehearsal or practice run.

If you’ve ever been to a cemetery and looked at the tombstones, you will have noticed that most people get their name, their birth date, their death date and a little hyphen or dash in-between those two dates. That’s all you get for your entire life! But in many ways what you do in time echoes into eternity. So make this the very best DASH you can!

One simple way to discover your purpose is to ask yourself three questions:

What you are good at? Think about your strengths, your talents, your life experiences, and your unique skills. We can’t do everything but we can all do something.
What you care about? Consider your interests, your concerns, what you enjoy, what excites you, and even what annoys you or makes you angry.
What are the needs of the world? Reflect on the changes that need to be made, the problems yet to be solved, the challenges still being faced.

At the intersection of your answer to those 3 questions is your purpose – your mission, your WHY. It’s worth taking the time to discover that … because when we are living with a sense of purpose we are most effective and most joyful. When we are not pursuing a worthwhile purpose, we are just going through the motions … without really living. We end up being ineffective and frustrated.

Think about your life. What are you living for? Why do you get up in the morning? What’s it all about for you? What’s the dream you are pursuing? What has value and meaning for you?

Let’s recap our main points:

You were created for a purpose.
Our purpose (or our why) is something we discover as much as something we decide.
We have one life to live – let’s give it our best shot!
Living with a sense of purpose increases our effectiveness and our joy.

That’s all for today.

See you next week!

You can watch a video of this episode on the Soul Food YouTube channel.

Recommended Reading: Know Your Why by Ken Costa and Start With Why by Simon Sinek

December 2, 2020April 10, 2022 Mark Conner Personal Development, Soul Food

Soul Food Episode 14 – Life Think

Did you know that many people spend more time thinking about their holidays than they do their life?

Today on Soul Food we start a new series called ‘Life Think’ – taking some time to think about and reflect on our life. After all our ‘soul’ includes not only our feelings, but also our thoughts and our decisions.

Christmas is only just over 3 weeks away and you know what’s after that – the end of this year and the beginning of a new year. This time of year is a good opportunity to pause and reflect on our life … and to think about the direction we are heading.

To do this, I find it helpful to block out some time to have a thorough review of this year.

Of course, like when we are driving, it is important to be primarily looking forward towards where we are heading … BUT every now and then we need to glance into the rearview mirror to see where you have come from.

To do so … ask yourself some important questions:

What went well this year – things you are grateful for, that you can celebrate?
What didn’t go so well – and why? Think about any disappointments or regrets you may have.
Are you okay with how this year unfolded?
How would you live differently if you had this year all over again?
Was there anything missing from your life?
What lessons did you learn this year?
What themes or patterns emerged?

As we have said before, experience isn’t life’s greatest teacher. It’s only by taking time aside for reflection that we can turn experience into wisdom for life. It was Socrates who said, “The unexamined life is not worth living.”

Of course, your past does not determine your future. So don’t get stuck there. However, the better we process our past the better we set ourselves up to create the future we desire.

Let’s recap our main points:

Many people spend more time thinking about their holidays than they do their life.
Make an appointment with yourself and have a thorough review of this year.
Tap into the power of questions.
Your past does not determine your future. You can change!
Reflection turns experience into insight.

That’s all for today.

See you next week!

Recommended Reading: Your Best Year Ever, Living Forward, and Free to Focus by Michael Hyatt. See also 7 Habits of Highly Effective People by Stephen Covey.

You can watch a video of this episode now on the Soul Food YouTube channel.

Here is the full list of episodes in the Life Think series:

Series 3 of Soul Food with Mark Conner is on the topic of Reboot (4 episodes).

NOTE: Be sure to also see Series 1 of Soul Food with Mark Conner on Self Care.