Mark Conner Relationships, Soul Food

Soul Food Episode 41 – Acceptance

One of the deepest needs in every human being is to be accepted – just as we are, warts and all. In fact, many people will do almost anything … just to be accepted by others.

If you want to enhance your own relationships, why not give others the gift of acceptance. Choose to value and respect them – just as they are.

You know, subconsciously, we tend to have a rating scale for people and we treat them based on the value we place on them. If we’re walking down the hallway and someone who we think is a #10 comes along, we say, “Hi, how you going, good to see you!” If we meet someone who we think is a #2, we just say, “Hey …” If we see someone who is a -4 … we walk the other way!

We treat people based on the value we place on them.

What if you started seeing everyone as a #10 and then started treating them that way? What a difference that could make in your relationships.
Genuine acceptance is often a catalyst to lasting change.

Acceptance doesn’t necessarily mean approval … but it is a choice to value and respect people, no matter what.

You can watch a video of this episode on the Soul Food with Mark Conner YouTube channel.

Mark Conner Relationships, Soul Food

Soul Food Episode 40 – Anger

Have you been angry lately? Anger is a common emotion. Every person has times when they experience feelings of annoyance, irritation, resentment, or anger.

There are two common causes of anger.

Firstly, there is frustration. Frustration occurs when our goal is blocked. Maybe the driver in front of you is going 10 kilometers under the speed limit and you are in a hurry or maybe someone is an hour late for an appointment that you made an effort to be on time for. When you are frustrated you start to feel angry.

The second cause of anger is hurt. When someone does or says something to us that really hurts us, anger begins to emerge. What we need to realise is that anger can cause great damage and so therefore it is essential for healthy relationships that we do our best to keep our anger under control.

There is a big difference between feeling angry and then acting out angry behaviour. Anger is not the problem. It’s what we do with it. I encourage you to make every effort to manage your anger today. That’s a vital skill for healthy relationships.

You can watch a video of this episode on the Soul Food with Mark Conner YouTube channel.

Mark Conner Relationships, Soul Food

Soul Food Episode 39 – Atmosphere

Every room has an atmosphere – it includes factors such as the temperature of the room, the lighting, and the freshness of the air – or the lack of it. In the same way, every relationship and every group – whether it’s a team or a family – has an atmosphere. This atmosphere is a combination of the moods and attitudes of the people in the group. Another word for this is ‘culture’. It describes what it feels like to be a part of that group of people.

To add value to any relationship you are in or any group you are a part of, learn to be aware of your moods – what they are and what may be contributing to them. Then seek to control them. Your moods directly affect the atmosphere wherever you are – for better or worse.

Don’t be a thermometer – which is a reactive instrument that goes up and down based on the external environment.

Be a thermostat – an instrument that directly affects the atmosphere. If things are a bit heated, you can help to cool them down.

If things are a bit cool or icy – then you do your best to warm things up a little.
This is especially important for leaders because leaders set the relational temperature of every group that they lead.

What can you do today to affect the atmosphere of the relationships, teams, or groups you are a part of?

You can watch a video of this episode on the Soul Food with Mark Conner YouTube channel.

Mark Conner Relationships, Soul Food

Soul Food Episode 38 – Trust

Someone once said that trust is the glue of all relationships. Trust holds things together. In contrast, when there is no trust, relationships start to break down.

Trust creates confidence and removes suspicion and fear. When trust is high in a relationship, you could even say the wrong thing and it will be okay. People give you the benefit of the doubt. Where trust is low, you could say the right thing and even then, people take you wrong or misinterpret you.

How do we build trust?

  • Trust starts with being trustworthy.
  • Treat people with respect, as you would want to be treated.
  • Admit it when you are wrong and be big enough to apologise.
  • Be quick to forgive.
  • Be loyal and avoid gossip. Integrity is how we treat those who are not present.
  • Keep your commitments and your word.
  • Have the courage to speak the truth in love.
  • Be transparent – open, real and genuine. Don’t be fake or two-faced. Don’t wear masks.
  • Make every effort to restore trust when it has been lost.

What is the level of trust in your relationships? What could you do to improve that trust today?

You can watch a video of this episode on the Soul Food with Mark Conner YouTube channel.