Soul Food Episode 45 – Assertiveness

One of the keys to good relationships is learning to be ‘lovingly assertive’. Yes, it really is possible to be both ‘loving’ and ‘assertive’.

Some people tend to be ‘under-assertive’. They can’t set boundaries or limits. They can never say “no” … or at least not without feeling guilty. They are easily manipulated by stronger people. They are unable to express feelings of anger constructively. They avoid conflict situations. They are excessively apologetic. Then they tend to fantasize after conversations, replaying the situation over and over … thinking about all the things they wish they had the courage to say at the time.

On the other hand, some people tend to be ‘over-assertive’. They lack tact and sensitivity. They steam-roll people with their ideas and opinions, and they have a tendency to be autocratic (‘we’ll do it my way’). As a result, they end up hurting a lot of people.

Which way do you lean? Do you need to learn to be a bit more assertive? Not aggressive … but assertive?

Or do you need to be a bit more loving?

Why not make an effort to change … beginning today. Appraise assertiveness is essential for healthy relationships.

You can watch a video of this episode on the Soul Food with Mark Conner YouTube channel.