Mark Conner Biographies

Remembering Elisabeth Elliot

Elliot

Elisabeth Elliot pass away a few weeks back (June 15th, 2015). She was one of the most influential Christian women of our time. For a half century, her best selling books, timeless teachings and courageous faith have influenced believers and seekers of Jesus Christ throughout the world. She used her experiences as a daughter, wife, mother, widow, and missionary to bring the message of Christ to countless women and men around the world. 

Her first husband, Jim Elliot, was killed in 1956 while attempting to make missionary contact with the Auca of eastern Ecuador. Elisabeth famously went back to live among the Aucas in order to share the love of Christ. I still remember hearing and being impacted by their story as a teenager through their book Through the Gates of Splendour.

Take a moment to reflect on a life well lived. 

Insightful Quotes (source):

  • “He is no fool who gives what he cannot keep to gain that which he cannot lose." Jim Elliot
  • "Wherever you are, be all there; live to the hilt every situation you believe to be the will of God." Jim Elliot
  • “When the time comes to die, make sure that all you have to do is die! Jim Elliot
  • “I have one desire now – to live a life of reckless abandon for the Lord, putting all my energy and strength into it.” Elisabeth Elliot
  • “Waiting on God requires the willingness to bear uncertainty, to carry within oneself the unanswered question, lifting the heart to God about it whenever it intrudes upon one's thoughts.” Elisabeth Elliot
  • “This job has been given to me to do. Therefore, it is a gift. Therefore, it is a privilege. Therefore, it is an offering I may make to God. Therefore, it is to be done gladly, if it is done for Him. Here, not somewhere else, I may learn God’s way. In this job, not in some other, God looks for faithfulness.” Elisabeth Elliot
  • “There is nothing worth living for, unless it is worth dying for.” Elisabeth Elliot
  • “The fact that I am a woman does not make me a different kind of Christian, but the fact that I am a Christian makes me a different kind of woman.” Elisabeth Elliot
  • “One does not surrender a life in an instant. That which is lifelong can only be surrendered in a lifetime.” Elisabeth Elliot
  • “There is no ongoing spiritual life without this process of letting go. At the precise point where we refuse, growth stops. If we hold tightly to anything given to us, unwilling to let it go when the time comes to let it go or unwilling to allow it to be used as the Giver means it to be used, we stunt the growth of the soul. It is easy to make a mistake here, “If God gave it to me,” we say, “its mine. I can do what I want with it.” No. The truth is that it is ours to thank Him for and ours to offer back to Him, ours to relinquish, ours to lose, ours to let go of – if we want to find our true selves, if we want real life, if our hearts are set on glory.” Elisabeth Elliot

Recommended Resources:

Mark Conner Leadership, Personal Development

Developing Confidence (Pt.5)

Developing_self_confidence

Here are my own favourite confidence builders, gleaned from years of life and ministry experience:

Confidence Builders

1. SEE yourself as God sees you. Your words and actions are a reflection of how you see yourself. Therefore, you cannot constantly live and/or minister in a manner that is inconsistent with the way you see yourself. If you think you are a "grasshopper" you will act like one (Numbers 13:33). If you think you are more than able, you will act with that confidence. Gideon had to change the way he saw himself in order to conquer fear and become the mighty warrior God saw he could become (Judges 6:12-14). See yourself as God's child – deeply loved and of great worth, value and significance (Psalm 139:14). You are loved, called and empowered by God! God makes heroes our of ordinary people.

2. LEARN all you can. Ask and receive wisdom. Gain knowledge. We are all confident at something because we learned how. Anything is easy when you know how. Receive training. Prepare well. The better you prepare, the more confident you will be. Gain confidence in new areas.

3. Gain EXPERIENCE. Past successes provide confidence for today. Get a few wins under your belt. David's defeat of the lion and the bear when no one was looking gave him confidence to run towards Goliath the giant in the presence of crowds of people looking on. Start where you are and take baby steps of faith. If you aren't managing well what you currently have been entrusted with, why expect more? Learn from your failures too.

4. Allow OTHERS to Speak into Your Life. People tend to become what those closet to them believe they can become. Our friends/peers have a great influence on us. Are the people around you confidence knockers or confidence builders? Spend time with positive people who believe in you and encourage you to be all you can be in God.

5. Don’t COMPARE yourself with others. Learn from others but don't copy or imitate (2 Corinthians 10:12). Find your own voice. God doesn't want clones! YOU are unique. Be the best you can be for God’s glory. When it comes to skill or knowledge, there is always someone better than you and someone not as good as you. Simply be the best you can be. God’s gift to you is your potential. Your gift back to him is what you do with it. You will be held accountable for only what you received. I can't be someone else but I can be ME! So can you.

6. Cling to GOD. Our confidence is to be in God. That's how David defeated Goliath when everyone else was paralysed with fear and intimidation (1 Samuel 17). Through prayer and dependence on God we can draw on the assistance of the Holy Spirit who is our Helper. God gives grace to the humble. Trust in God – HE is able to do way above what we could ask, think or imagine.

Prayer

Confidence rarely strikes us like a lightning bolt. It often begins with a simple choice – to step out and BE confident in God! May you have a fresh encounter with God today … resulting in a fresh impartation of confidence for life and ministry.

You can boldly declare:

  • “I can BE who God says I can BE!”
  • “I can DO what God says I can DO!”
Mark Conner Leadership, Personal Development

Developing Confidence (Pt.4)

Developing_self_confidence

Confidence Builders

Your confidence can grow.

What from? Here's a list that I collected from our recent staff meeting:

  • Faith in God.
  • Encouragement and affirmation from other people.
  • Success.
  • Good preparation.
  • Self-belief.
  • Someone believing in you.
  • Forgiveness.
  • The company we keep.
  • Experience.
  • Being empowered by others.
  • Training.
  • God's Word.
  • An encounter with God.
  • Using your spiritual gifts.
  • Practice. 

What builds your confidence? Take some time to think about it. It's important to know how to build yourself up or encourage yourself in God.

Tomorrow I'll share what I've learned about developing confidence. 

[Part 5]

Mark Conner Leadership, Personal Development

Developing Confidence (Pt.3)

Developing_self_confidence

Confidence Knockers

Your confidence will come under attack.

What from? Here's a list that I collected from a recent staff meeting as we all brain-stormed around our life and leadership experiences:

  • Doubt.
  • Mistakes or failure.
  • Fear.
  • Criticism or negative words from other people.
  • Disappointment.
  • Intimidation.
  • Negative 'self-talk'.
  • Unmet expectations.
  • Lack of knowledge.
  • Poor physical health.
  • Tiredness.
  • Limitations.
  • Opposition.
  • Lack of opportunity.
  • Comparison with others
  • Bullying or abuse fron other people.
  • Unresolved conflict.
  • Discouragement.
  • Frustration.
  • Lack of encouragement.

What destroys your confidence? Take some time to think about it. What's holding you back or holding you down at the moment? We all need to know our enemy if we are going to overcome and develop the confidence God calls us to.

Tomorrow we'll look at some confidence builders.

[Part 4]

Mark Conner Leadership, Personal Development

Developing Confidence (Pt.2)

Developing_self_confidence

The quality of confidence can be defined as: faith, belief, trust, assurance, certitude, being sure, undisturbed calm. It is a spirit of faith that is certain of success, yet not afraid of failure. 

Every person used by God reaches their potential through confidence in God – despite difficulties, challenges and obstacles.

Encounters with God

Think of what happened to these people after an encounter with God:

  • Abraham left home to become a great nation.
  • Esther conquered fear realising she had come to the kingdom for ‘such as time as this’ – to rescue her people.
  • Moses led Israel out of Egypt.
  • Joshua led Israel into Promised Land.
  • David defeated Goliath.
  • Mary overcame public shame, criticism and gossip to become the mother of Jesus.
  • After Pentecost, Peter preached with boldness. Contrast that to his denial of Jesus before the coming of the Spirit.

Confidence before God leads to confidence within yourself then confidence before others and even confidence in the face of opposition.

Of course, we want to avoid over-confidence, which is more about self-confidence than confidence in God. False confidence can lead to arrogance, presumption and boasting. Pride goes before a fall but God exalts the humble. 

Lack of Confidence

Most leaders I know deal with a lack of confidence. They face regular feelings of fear, unbelief, doubt, inadequacy, inferiority, insecurity, and intimidation.

Timothy was a young leader with a good faith from a godly heritage and good character but he was shy and lacking in confidence. That is why the aposlte Paul wrote to him and said:

For this reason I remind you to fan into flame the gift of God, which is in you through the laying on of my hands. For the Spirit God gave us does not make us timid, but gives us power, love and self-discipline. 2 Timothy 1:7. NIV

Godly Confidence

The apostle Paul models a godly confidence when he says: 

“I can do all things (that's confidence!) through Christ who strengthens me (that's dependence!).” Philippians 4:13.

Confidence (like passion and faith) is NOT permanent! You can gain it, you can lose it, you can maintain it, you can build on it and you can grow it.

Tomorrow we will look at some confidence knockers then some confidence builders. 

[Part 1] [Part 3]

Mark Conner Leadership, Personal Development

Developing Confidence (Pt.1)

Developing_self_confidence

This week, we want to reflect on the area of confidence.

Let's start by reading and meditating on these statements from the pages of Scripture.

Ephesians 1:18. I pray that your hearts will be flooded with light so that you can understand the confident hope he has given to those he called — his holy people who are his rich and glorious inheritance. NLT

Ephesians 3:12. In him and through faith in him we may approach God with freedom and confidence. NIV

Philippians 1:6. Being confident of this, that he who began a good work in you will carry it on to completion until the day of Christ Jesus. NIV

Psalm 27:3, 13 Though an army besiege me, my heart will not fear; though war break out against me, even then I will be confident … I remain confident of this: I will see the goodness of the Lord in the land of the living. NIV

Psalm 71:5. For you have been my hope, Sovereign Lord, my confidence since my youth.

Isaiah 30:15. This is what the Sovereign Lord, the Holy One of Israel, says: Only in returning to me and resting in me will you be saved. In quietness and confidence is your strength. NLT

Hebrews 5:16. Let us then approach God’s throne of grace with confidence, so that we may receive mercy and find grace to help us in our time of need.

Hebrew 10:35. Do not throw away your confidence; it will be richly rewarded.

Hebrews 11:1-2. Now faith is confidence in what we hope for and assurance about what we do not see. This is what the ancients were commended for.

1 John 5:14-15. This is the confidence we have in approaching God: that if we ask anything according to his will, he hears us. And if we know that he hears us—whatever we ask—we know that we have what we asked of him.

Tomorrow, we'll unpack this important quality further. [Part 2]

Mark Conner Personal Development, Relationships

Grief

Grief

Ten tips for supporting someone who is grieving:

• Offer practical support such as meals, shopping, gardening, errands, lifts, etc. especially in the early days.

• Accept that everyone grieves differently. Grief is a normal and natural response to loss but everyone grieves differently.

• Don't judge. There is no right or wrong way to grieve. Especially don't say "you should…" or "you shouldn't…"

• Accept a wide variety of emotions such as sadness, anger, confusion, fear, guilt, relief, etc. Such varied emotions are a natural response to the death of a loved one.

• Listen well. Bereaved people often need to talk about their grief and sometimes it's okay to just sit in silence.

• Use the name of the lost loved one. Allow the bereaved person to talk of their loved one and to use their name.

• Avoid platitudes such as "At least you have other children", "it was meant to be", 'It's God's will', "Maybe God wanted another angel", etc. Well-meant statements like these are unhelpful and often hurtful.

• Don't say "I understand" or "I know how you feel". Individual grief is so complex that no-one can really understand how an individual feels.

• You can't fix it. No one can take away the pain and sadness but knowing that people care is comforting and healing.

• Don't assume. People who are grieving aren't necessarily showing it.

[Source: The Compassionate Friends Victoria]

Mark Conner Current Issues, Family, Relationships

Responding to Domestic Violence

DV

Right now, our vision as a church is to see over 10,000 stories of transformation. Recently, we have had a number of moving stories about individuals coming out of domesitc violence situations. These are people who once felt isolated, hopeless, and helpless. Now they feel cared for and looked after. These stories provide hope for anyone affected by domestic violence.

Domestic violence (sometimes referred to as ‘family violence’ or ‘interpersonal violence’) is defined as “a pattern of coercive or controlling behaviour used by one individual to gain or maintain power and control over another individual in the context of an intimate relationship. This includes any behaviours that frighten, intimidate, terrorise, exploit, manipulate, blame, injure, or wound a person.”

It is estimated that at least 1 in 4 women is a victim of domestic abuse in her lifetime. There were 65,000 police reports of domestic violence in Victoria last year (almost double those reported in 2010). In Australia, the police deal with a domestic violence matter every 2 minutes. It can happen to anyone, regardless of your background.

“Violent abuse” refers to “using physical violence in a way that injures or endangers someone.” Physical assault or battery is a crime, as well as serveal other forms of domestic violence, whether it occurs inside or outside the family. The police have the authority and power to protect victims from physical attack. The victims of violent abuse have the right to protect themselves and their children.

Domestic abuse is dangerous in ALL its forms (not just physical violence) – including willful intimidation, sexual assault, stalking, verbal or emotional abuse, economic control, psychological abuse and isolation. Physical violence is sometimes easier to recover from than psychological or emotional injuries that cause a person to feel worthless. Threats of abuse can be as frightening as the abuse itself.

The Church

As a pastor, I need to confess that the Church, in general, hasn't always handled this issue well. We have often failed to believe that it can happen in Christian homes. There has been erroneous teaching about ‘submission’, ‘authority’, and ’obedience’ in the home, as well as misunderstandings about forgiveness and repentance. This has often created a culture of silence and acceptance. Here at CityLife, we are committed to doing a better job at helping to prevent domestic violence, confronting it when it does occur, and offering help to those involved – both the victim and the perpetrator.

Biblical Reflection

Central to the Christian message is that we believe in the good news of Jesus Christ. The Son of God took on human form, lived amongst us, so that we can have life, and life to the full! Any sort of abuse or violence hurts the heart of God. It is the very opposite of his sacrificial love. Abuse twists God’s good intention for marriage, the family and human relationships. God’s Word contains clear declarations against any form of physical or verbal abuse, including that of spouses or children. Psalm 11:5. “Those who love violence, God hates with a passion.” Instead, we are called to show kindness, generosity, and love to one another.

For Victims

If you are being abused, you need to know that abuse is not God’s will or part of God’s plan for your life. Enabling one person’s cruelty to another is not the will of a just and loving God. You don’t have to remain silent anymore. Please tell a friend, a family member, a pastor or ministry leader, or the authorities. You do not deserve this. It is not your fault. You are the victim of abuse and violence and it is wrong. You were created in the image of God and should be treated with dignity, love and respect You do not need to put up with it. It is not acceptable. If you don’t feel safe, please seek professional help in making a safety plan for yourself and the children. This may include leaving the situation or obtaining an intervention order. No person is expected to continue in an abusive environment.

For Perpetrators

If you are the one causing the abuse, you need to know that it is never okay to hurt or threaten to hurt anyone. Please get some professional help. Talk to someone you trust. Get some accountability.

CityLife Church

Domestic/family violence causes great damage in people’s lives. It has to stop. For anyone affected by domestic violence, we have counselors and pastors trained to be able to help you and offer support and strategies for you to move forward. Please call and ask for help.

Prayer

Father, you love us as your children and your desire is that our homes, our families, be places of love, care and encouragement – not places where we experience fear or abuse. I pray for wisdom and courage for those affected by domestic violence. Help them to take a step towards freedom today. For those caught in a cycle of abusing others, I pray that you would convict them and bring about change in their life. For us as a church, may we be a community of faith characterized by loving relationships. In Jesus name. Amen.

Continue reading “Responding to Domestic Violence” →

Mark Conner Contemporary Culture, Personal Development

Minimalism – the Power of Simplicity

Simplify2
Life left to itself tends to become more and more complex and cluttered. It takes a concerted effort to reverse the trend – to simplify, to become a minimalist. 

Some thoughts worth reflecting on:

  • Could the best way to organise your stuff be to get rid of the heap of it?
  • How might your life be better if you had less?
  • What would it look like to get rid of your excess and enjoy the remainder more? 
  • Our physical world represents our internal state. Dealing with the external can affects the internal. Do you suffer from mental clutter?
  • Is it time for you to create a 'not to do' list rather than continuing to add more and more tasks that you will never get around to doing anyway?

Jesus once said: “Beware! Guard against every kind of greed. Life is not measured by how much you own" (Luke 12:15. NLT)

Do you feel like you need to simplify? Here is some reading you might find stimulating and challenging from a range of authors and thinkers:

Some final words from Jesus:

John 14:27. “I am leaving you with a gift— peace of mind and heart. And the peace I give is a gift the world cannot give. So don’t be troubled or afraid." NLT

May you know that peace in your life today.

Mark Conner Personal Development

You are God’s Masterpiece

Gods-Masterpiece-logo-for-blog

I love these thoughts penned by the apostle Paul over 2,000 years ago:

Ephesians 2:8-10. God saved you by his a grace when you b believed. And you can’t take credit for this; it is a gift from God. Salvation is not a reward for the good things we have done, so none of us can boast about it. For we are God’s masterpiece. He has created us anew in Christ Jesus, so we can do the good things he planned for us long ago. NLT

God's love is so amazing. He saves us by his grace, not because of anything we do or have done. It's a free gift. 

Not only does God love us, he is also at work in our lives. Paul describes us as God's 'masterpiece'. The Greek word he uses is the word poema, which means 'work of art'. Yes, you are a work of art (not a peice of work!). Every day, God is present and he is at work in your life, whether you realise it or not.

Any creative work, whether it be a painting, a building, a piece of technology, or a design, takes time. In the middle things can appear a little messy, chaotic and disorganised. It's the same with our lives. Sometimes we may even wonder where God is or what he is up to. But he is at work.

In another place, Paul says:

Philippians 1:5. And I am certain that God, who began the good work within you, will continue his work until it is finally finished on the day when Christ Jesus returns. NLT

God always finishes what he starts. That's good news for us.

Know today that (1) God loves you and (2) he is working to make something beautiful of your life so he can shine his light through you to your world.