Mark Conner Soul Food

Soul Food Episode 26 – 90 Days

Hi friends. Welcome to this week’s edition of Soul Food.

Did you know that we tend to over-estimate what we can do in one month but we under-estimate what we can accomplish in three months? 

There’s something unique about a 90 day period of time.

Entire books and articles have been written about ‘the first 90 days’ for new leaders, as well as for planning your life. 

Some people think 90 day goals are better than year long goals. After all, 12 months is a long way away but 90 days is far enough away but but still within reach.

Today is the the 31st March. It’s the last day of the first quarter of this year. Yes, believe it or not, three months of this year are already history. 

Now is a good time to pause and review how the first quarter of the year has gone for you. 

So how have the last 90 days gone for you? 

In this series of Soul Food, our theme has been Life Think – taking time to think about our life. We’ve looked at knowing Your Why, thinking about the Many Hats we wear, considering our Next Steps, and taking a weekly Time Out. We looked at Endings, Beginnings, and those awkward In-Between times, and reflected on the concepts of Halftime and Parallel Careers.

Now is a good time to stop and think about how this year has started for you. It’s only been one quarter but are things unfolding as you intended? What has gone well? Celebrate that. What didn’t go so well? Don’t get down on yourself. See what you can learn from those experiences. 

Most importantly, set your sights on the next 90 days. What’s the plan? Where are you heading? Where would you like to be when the middle of the year arrives?

90 days – I hope your next 90 days are filled with joy and many meaningful moments as you continue to think about your life. 

Let’s summarise our main points:

  1. We often over-estimate what we can do in one month but we under-estimate what we can accomplish in three months.
  2. Take some time now to review the first quarter of this year.
  3. Plan your next 90 days so you invest your time and energy in what really matters to you.

That’s our final episode in this series on Life Think. Soul Food will be taking a break till mid-year. See you next time as we begin a brand new series of Soul Food with Mark Conner. 

You can watch the 2-minute video of this episode on the Soul Food with Mark Conner YouTube Channel.

Mark Conner Soul Food

Soul Food Episode 25 – Routines

Hi friends. Welcome to this week’s edition of Soul Food.

Did you know that billionaire, Richard Branson, wears the same brand of jeans and a white shirt every day because it simplifies his packing when traveling?

Even former American president Barack Obama wears only grey and blue suits. Why? To reduce decisions about what to wear or eat, so he has the energy to focus on the other important decisions he faces every day.

In his excellent book No-Fail Habits, Michael Hyatt says that one of the keys to improved effectiveness is “implementing a system of strong habits that structure your day, allowing you to automate your most important activities and make you more productive in less time.” 

He goes on to say that, “By making some decisions a matter of routine, you free yourself to focus on your highest priorities without neglecting other responsibilities.” 

Self-automation is the process of putting some of your daily decisions and actions on autopilot, so they happen without conscious thought. This allows you to manage important details of your life while freeing mental headspace to focus on other priorities”

In many ways, each day is like a new flight. As the pilot of your own life, if you can automate some of your basic daily routines, it will free you to focus on what is most important with less effort. By learning to make fewer decisions every day, you can actually accomplish much more while doing less.

Each of us has at least four daily rituals or routines – (1) our morning routine, (2) our work start-up routine, (3) our work shut-down routine, and (4) our evening routine.

Take the time to notice what you are already doing.

  • What’s the first thing you do when you wake up? What do you do after that?
  • What do you do first when you start work? Then what? Then what?
  • What do you do once you’ve decided to stop working for the day? Then what?
  • What’s the last thing you do before you fall asleep? What comes before that? And before that?

Once you’ve observed what you are already doing, intentionally re-engineer these routines so they work for you.

Willpower only works to a certain point when it comes to change. In fact, most of us experience ‘decision fatigue’ which gradually saps our energy as a day unfolds. Establishing automated routines saves us from having to make too many decisions each day.

One of the reasons we have so many creative ideas in the shower is partly because it is a self-automated environment. We turn the water on, shampoo our hair, and wash – without hardly thinking about it. That frees your brain up to think about something else. 

Let’s summarise our main points:

  1. You can improve your daily effectiveness by automating your most important activities. 
  2. Each of us has at least four daily rituals or routines – our morning routine, our work start-up routine, our work shut-down routine, and our evening routine. Take the time to identify what works and what doesn’t, then re-engineer them for your benefit.
  3. Establishing helpful automated routines saves us from having to make too many decisions each day.

That’s all for today. See you next week. 

You can watch a video of this episode on the Soul Food with Mark Conner YouTube channel.

Mark Conner Soul Food

Soul Food Episode 24 – Habits

Hi friends. Welcome to this week’s edition of Soul Food.

It’s been said that “It’s easier to act your way into a new way of thinking than to think your way into a new way of acting.”

Life is made up of habits – things we do regularly, often without even being aware of them. Habits are what we repeatedly do. It’s true. “We make our habits, then our habits make us.” 

Good habits include things like exercising regularly, being grateful, paying your bills on time, and showing respect for others. 

Bad habits include thinking negatively, interrupting people when they are talking, not cleaning up your mess, or gossiping about other people.

Our habits will either break us or make us. We become what we repeatedly do. 

Thankfully, we are stronger than our habits. We can change them. It’s not always easy, but it is possible. 

When it comes to our habits, there is something neuroscientists call ‘the habit loop’. It operates all the time, whether we are aware of it or now. The four elements in the habit loop are (1) the trigger (or cue), (2) the response (or behaviour), (3) the reward, and then (4) repetition. Yes, it takes time for a habit to be formed – anywhere from 21 days to 3 months. 

It’s worth taking the time to reflect on your current habits.

  1. What is the activation trigger or cue for your behaviour?
  2. What is your response – the actual behaviour you engage in?
  3. What is the reward? Why are you motivated to engage in this habit – what intrinsic or extrinsic benefit or reward is there for you?
  4. What is the repetition? When and how often do you engage in this habit?

If you simply make a change to any step in this process, you can change your habits.

For instance, if you want to stop the habit of engaging in social media last thing at night before you go to sleep, leave your phone in a different room and have a book by your bed instead. 

Or if you want to have some ‘quiet time’ each morning before checking your email, to meditate, be still or read something inspirational, turn your computer or devices off each night and prepare your space for those morning moments. 

You can also apply this process to any new habits you would like to form. 

It could be as simple as laying out your exercise clothes last thing at night so when you get up in the morning you are prompted to engage in your exercise routine. Then after you finish your exercise, you might reward yourself with your favourite smoothie to start the day. Repeat this enough times and it will be an established healthy habit in your life.

Let’s summarise our main points:

  1. Life is made up of habits – things we do regularly, often without even being aware of them. 
  2. Our habits make or break us. We become what we repeatedly do. 
  3. Habits can be changed. 
  4. Experiment with tweaking ‘the habit loop’ to change, edit, or adjust your habits. 

That’s all for today. See you next week. 

You can watch the video of this episode on the Soul Food YouTube channel.

Mark Conner Soul Food

Soul Food Episode 23 – Parallel Careers

Hi friends. Welcome to this week’s edition of Soul Food.

It’s common to think of life in a linear fashion. First, we have one thing, then another, then another. Most of us like this sort of logical sequencing. 

Another view of life is to see it in a more circular manner. We all go through various cycles – beginnings, endings, and in-between times being one example that we talked about recently. 

Yet another way to view your life, and especially your vocation, is to see it as a series of parallel tracks or parallel careers. Through this view we see that most of us have a number of things happening simultaneously – in other words, activities that are all occurring at the same time. 

I believe it is wise to open up or develop various interests other than our main job or work. It could be a part-time job or some hobbies. Another more recent term is a ‘side hustle’. By doing this, we spread our investment of time and energy into a variety or montage of interests and activities. Then, who knows where each of them may lead in the long term but your options definitely multiply. 

Let me tell you about my dad. He was a church minister for many years. At the age of 67, he finished up in a senior minister role at a large church. After this time, his life continued to be active and he had some of his most enjoyable and rewarding contributions from then until the age of 92 when he passed away. How did this happen?

Interestingly, my dad had developed a number of ‘parallel careers’ leading up to this time – without ever giving them that label.

  1. He was an author who had written a number of books. 
  2. He had started an informal fellowship of ministers.
  3. He did some occasional travel to speak at various churches and conferences both in Australia and overseas.
  4. He was also lecturing occasionally in a nearby training college. 

When he ‘retired’ from his role as church minister at age 67, he simply ‘re-fired’ and gave his full energies to writing more books, leading his fellowship of ministers, travelling, and lecturing on college. 

My dad had wisely developed other interests and activities outside of his main job so that when that finished he had multiple options to consider for him to engage in for his next season.

So what about you? 

  • What are your interests outside of your current work?
  • What hobbies do you have? They may never pay you money but they can be an outlet for your passion and your joy. 
  • If you consider all of your contributions as a montage, what adjustments would you like to make? Are there some activities you would like to do less of? More of?
  • Is there a ‘side hustle’ waiting for you to start?

Let’s summarise our main points:

  1. Life can be viewed in a linear or cyclic manner, or as a series of parallel tracks or careers. 
  2. Don’t let any one role define you fully. You are much more than your job. 
  3. Consider your life as a montage of interests and contributions. 
  4. Every now and then it is wise to review our portfolio of activities and make adjustments to ensure we are living in alignment with what we truly value and what has meaning for us now.

Have a chat about this with your family and friends. After all, we have only one life to live. Choose to invest your time and energy into what really matters for you.

That’s all for today. See you next week. 

You can watch a video of this episode on the Soul Food YouTube channel.

See also my BLOG post on “Is Our View of Retirement Still Working?“

Mark Conner Soul Food

Soul Food Episode 22 – Halftime

Hi friends. Welcome to this week’s edition of Soul Food.

The late Peter Drucker was one of the first people to note that 100 years ago, most people only lived till around the age of 50. Nowadays, people are living into their 90s and many to 100 and beyond. It’s like we’re the first generation to have two halves of life – and we are totally unprepared for it. 

If you’re 50 years of age, you may have already had 30 years of vocational contribution (your first half) and you could still have another 30 years ahead of you (your second half).

Of course, the old 3-stage model of life – (1) education, (2) vocation, then (3) retirement – just doesn’t work anymore. If you look to finish working in your mid-60s, then that’s a potential loooong retirement period – doing what? 

Nowadays, most people will have multiple jobs and/or vocations throughout their lifetime. So the stages of life will probably go from Education to Vocation 1, to possibly some up-skilling and more Education before Vocation 2, then extending our contribution late into life through part time or extended voluntary work before full retirement. 

So where are you in your journey of life? 

If you’re in your mid to late 40s OR early 50s, there is a huge benefit in scheduling a planned ‘halftime’. 

In any sports game, halftime is an opportunity to pause … to catch your breath, then to look back on the first half and think about how things are going. What’s going well that you want to continue into the second half? What’s not going so well that you want to change? Most of the time, we don’t want to let the second half simply be a repeat of the first. We want to make some adjustments. 

In the game of life, the first half is often a time when we focus on success – whatever that may mean for us. In the second half, many people want to make a shift to significance. Our values often change, as does what has meaning for us.

Of course, you don’t have to wait until middle age to choose to live a life of significance. Success and significance can work together, as long as we have thought deeply about what truly matters to us – beyond the noisy chatter of the culture we live in. 

Don’t keep living your life without even thinking about it, stuck on ‘auto pilot’. Maybe it’s time to schedule some extended time aside by yourself – take a retreat. Have a halftime. You’ll be glad you did!

Let’s recap our main points:

  1. We are one of the first generations to live long enough to have two halves of life.
  2. The old 3-stage model of life – education, vocation, retirement – needs to be re-thought.
  3. Everyone, no matter what age, benefits from taking a ‘halftime’ to pause and evaluate their life.
  4. Choose to focus on living a life of ‘significance’, not merely a ‘successful’ one. 

That’s all for today. See you next week.

You can watch a video of this episode on the Soul Food YouTube channel.

See also my BLOG post on “Is Our View of Retirement Still Working?“, as well as Bob Buford’s best-selling book Halftime: Moving from Success to Significance which discusses the concept of ‘halftime’ in-depth, or visit the Halftime Australia website for even more resources.