Mark Conner Personal Development

Stop Procrastinating

Proc[Guest post by Rick Warren]

The Bible gives us five actions we can take to stop procrastinating:

1. Stop making excuses.

“The lazy person claims, 'There's a lion out there! If I go outside, I might be killed!'" (Prov. 22:13, NLT). What have you been saying you’re going to do “one of these days”? What do you make excuses about? The number one excuse I hear is, “When things settle down, then I’m going to …” Things will never settle down. You must make a choice to prioritize what is important.

2. Start today.

Not next month, next week, or tomorrow. “Never boast about tomorrow. You don’t know what will happen between now and then” (Prov. 27:1, GNT). None of us is guaranteed a tomorrow.

3. Establish a planned schedule.

Proverbs 13:16 says, “Every wise person acts with good sense, but fools show how foolish they are” (Prov. 13:16, NCV). If you fail to plan, you’re planning to fail. You need to designate some specific time slots each week for the things you need to do. Whatever it is, put it on your calendar. And if it’s a big task, break it down into small pieces. Break it into bite-size pieces.

4. Face your fears.

We hate to admit we have fears, because we think they’re a sign of weakness. But fear is a sign of humanity. Only fools are not afraid. You’ve heard it said, “Courage is not the absence of fear; it’s moving ahead in spite of our fears.” The Bible says there is nothing you cannot master with the help of Christ who gives you strength.

5. Focus on what you gain, not the pain.

There are very few things in life that are easy. You must push through the frustration and look at the gain beyond the pain. Concentrate on how good you’re going to feel once you’ve finished the task.
Galatians 6:9 says, "So let’s not get tired of doing what is good. At just the right time we will reap a harvest of blessing if we don’t give up" (NLT).
Jesus never said life would be easy. There will be sacrifice and commitment. But there is tremendous reward when we do the things he calls us to do.

Talk About It

Don’t ask, “What do I feel like doing?” Instead ask, “What does God want me to do?”

Write down three things you know God wants you to do, one item each in these three areas: your family, your personal life, and your career. Choose one of those three, and start today. Even if you can only work on your goal 15 minutes a day, do it — you’ll feel so much better!

Mark Conner Personal Development

Jump in … and SERVE!

ServeThis year our focus is DEVOTE 3. We want to DEVOTE ourselves to PRAY more passionately, SHARE more intentionally and SERVE more wholeheartedly.

When it comes to your call to SERVE …

1. You were made for it.

God knew you before you were born (Jer.1:4), God planned you (Ps.139:16), God formed you (Ps.139:13-14), God thinks about you all the time (Psalm 139:17-18), God calls you (Jer.1:5), God saves you (Eph.2:8), God made you new (2Cor.5:17), God gifted you (1Pet.4:10. 1Cor. 12:7), God made adventures for you (Eph.2:10), and God loves you (Jn.3:16). Yes, each one of us have a plan and a purpose from God before we were born. God calls us into an adventure and he never leaves us alone. You were designed to SERVE. 

2. Do a Stocktake.

Acknowledging the good things God has placed within us is a key part of us being effective in life (see Paul's prayer for Philemon in 1:6). Do the stocktake and know what's been placed there by God. 

It is a myth to think that "You can be anything you want to be, if you just try enough." The truth is "You can be a lot more of who you already are."

One way to do this is to take a SHAPE survey or a spiritual gifts inventory. Another interesting reflection is to take something such as Gallop's Strengths Finder test or Marcus Buckingham's latest Stand Out assessment, which shows you the kind of role that best matches your strengths. 

"Hide not your talents. They for use were made. What's a sundial in the shade?" Benjamin Franklin

"Most people think they know what they are good at. They are usually wrong … and yet a person can perform only from strength." Peter Drucker

3. Jump in! 

Eventually, we have to get moving. Do something. See where it takes you … that's why it's called an adventure. You can't steer a parked car. Are you waiting … for what? 

As we get started, we discover what our gifts are (and aren't!), we give ourselves the opportunity to receive confirmation from others, and to see the affect of our efforts. Serving is the adventure. Those who help and serve others are the happiest people in the world.  

Check out the some current volunteer examples at CityLife.

[BLOG outline based on Andrew Robinson's recent Jump In! message at CityLife]

Mark Conner Quotes

A Spacious Place


Spac"He brought me into a spacious place …" Psalm 18:19a NIV

"I am beginning to understand that life is not so much a search for answers, as it is a search for clearings. Clearings are the required stopping places in our lives when our lives get to be too much. A clearing is a place of shelter, peace, rest, safety, quiet and healing. It is a place where you can get your bearing, regroup, inspect the damage, fill out the estimate and make repairs. It is a place where mid-course corrections are made – where you can change course, even start over. A clearing is a place where you can see what you couldn't see and hear what you couldn't hear. Clearings are not optional. They are longings in disguise. They are the required rest stops of life when our exhausted souls run out of steam."

Mike Yanconelli

Mark Conner Church, Personal Development, Spirituality

Choose Your Own Adventure

AdventLife as Adventure

Have you ever thought of your life as an adventure? Our kids used to love reading the Choose Your Own Adventure book series when they were younger. The stories are formatted so that, after a couple of pages of reading, the reader, as the main character in the story, faces two or three options, each of which leads to more options, and then to one of many endings. The number of endings could range anywhere from 12 to 40. This allows for a realistic sense of unpredictability, as the reader chooses their own adventure. Life is a lot like that!

Every adventure starts with a calling or mission then proceeds through various challenges and struggles to an eventual destination. Adventure requires making a choice to step out of our comfort zones of safety into the risk of unknown worlds of opportunities.  There are dragons to slay and mountains to conquer. You choose you own adventure.

Have you ever thought of your life as an adventure? Every adventure starts with a calling or mission then proceeds through various challenges and struggles to an eventual destination. Adventure requires making a choice to step out of our comfort zones of safety into the risk of unknown worlds of opportunities.  There are dragons to slay and mountains to conquer. You choose you own adventure.

“Twenty years from now you will be more disappointed by the things that you didn’t do than by the ones you did do. So throw off the bowlines. Sail away from the safe harbour. Catch the trade winds in your sails. Explore. Dream. Discover.” [Mark Twain] 

 "A ship is safe in harbour, but that's not what ships are for." [William Shedd]

“Life is either a daring adventure or nothing at all.” [Helen Keller]

“I am looking for someone to share in an adventure that I am arranging, and it's very difficult to find anyone … I should think so — in these parts! We are plain quiet folk and have no use for adventures. Nasty disturbing uncomfortable things! Make you late for dinner!” [J.R.R. Tolkein in The Hobbit]

Father Abraham

Genesis 12 is the central passage of the book of Genesis. Here we move from the history of mankind, beginning with the creation of the world by God, to the history of Israel as a nation, beginning with the story of Abraham. Into a situation of hopelessness and barrenness, with no foreseeable future (Gen.11:30), God spoke and called Abraham to leave home and follow Him (Gen.12:1-3). Abraham was to become the “father of all who believe” (Rom.4:16). Abraham’s story introduces journey as a metaphor for the life of faith. We are called to follow God in a life of pilgrimage, moving with God through life, in a multi-generational journey of faith – an adventure.

The Adventure of Your Life

Like Abraham, God calls you to follow him … on this adventure called LIFE. But that invitation requires a response. We have a choice to make. Abraham was a man of faith and action – he went, he took, he entered, he built, he journeyed, and so on. He obediently acted on the revelation he received, despite the tensions created by his own age and the barrenness of his wife.

God’s will is not something extremely hard or unenjoyable. The apostle Paul called God’s will “good, pleasing and perfect (Rom.12:1-2).” Jesus described his burden as “easy and light” (Matt.11:28-30) and said he came to give us a “rich and satisfying life” (John 10:10)” in contrast to the thief who wants to steal, kill and destroy. There is much freedom in God’s will, with few prohibitions and many possible choices (Gen.2:16). Even God’s commands are “for our good” (Deut.6:24). Who will we trust? Yes, there is a cost to discipleship … but there is also a joy.

1. God is your companion and guide on your adventure.

God called Abraham into a relationship with Himself and to be a part of His covenant purpose for the world. In responding to God’s call, Abraham moved from being a pagan who worshipped many gods to becoming a worshipper and “friend” of Yahweh, the true God of heaven and earth. This was a conversion by faith and obedience, in response to a revelation from God.

God calls us too, as children of Abraham, into relationship with Himself. God speaks to us be His Spirit and His Word. Like Abraham (Gen.12:7-9), we are to respond by building an altar of worship and prayer in our lives, as an expression of our devotion to God. Our adventure is about honouring God, growing in our relationship with him, and seeking him for guidance along the way.

It’s a call to PRAY. Prayer is simply conversation or dialogue with God – sharing whatever is on our heart with him and listening to the voice of his Spirit. Through faith and complete trust in God we can overcome the unbelief, doubt, discouragement, and apathy that so often hinders our prayers.

“To fall in love with God is the greatest romance; to seek him the greatest adventure; to find him, the greatest human achievement.” [Saint Augustine of Hippo]

2. Your Adventure is a Shared Experience

Abraham was given two instructions: (1) leave and (2) be a blessing. Intertwined with these instructions, were two sets of three promises each. In the first set, God expressed a commitment to Abraham to make him into a great nation, to bless him, and make his name great. In the second set of promises, God said he would bless those who blessed Abraham, curse those who cursed (or showed disdain or contempt), and that all peoples on earth would be blessed through him. This was the highest goal for Abraham’s calling. God was working through one family for the benefit of all families. This included sharing the knowledge of God, which Abraham had possibly already engaged in with those he had taken into his household (see Gen.12:5).

We too are called to be a part of a community of faith, the church. No one is to do life alone. Together we can discover meaningful relationships and a sense of belonging. From there we too can SHARE with others the good news about the God we worship and serve. Church exists for mission – for others. This starts with hospitality and flows out to sharing our faith in God.

3. Your Adventure serve a greater purpose.

In the middle of two sets of promises, God instructed Abraham to “be a blessing”. That is, Abraham was to let this blessing work in him and his family in order that he might become the agent through whom God might bless others. Unfortunately, blessing for the entire world never became a program for concerted action by God’s people until after the ascension of Jesus.

In the same way, Jesus calls us to follow him, to go into the world, and to be a blessing to whoever we come into contact with. Our adventure is for others. It’s about contribution, service and making a difference. God has shaped us for a specific purpose and he has some good works for us to do (Eph.2:8-10). Use your gifts to SERVE others.

Our Response

As a response to God's relentless love for us, and the adventure that he has called us to embark on, we want to commit ourselves afresh to be devoted to God this year – to PRAY more passionately, to SHARE our faith more intentionally, and to SERVE with our gifts more wholeheartedly. As we do, we will see a greater fulfillment of our mission to be fervent followers of Jesus Christ reaching out to our world.

Reflection Questions

1. Reflect on a time when you stepped out of your comfort zone to do something new.

2. What inspires you most about Abraham and his response to Gods call?

3. Consider the difference between pioneers and settlers. How can we keep that sense of adventure in our journey of faith?

4. Reflect on “God’s will” for our life and the different ways that he guides us.

5. Consider the concept of “motivation.” The first believers “devoted themselves” to some important practices (Acts 2:42-47). Where did this inner motivation come from and what fuelled it?

6. Remind yourself of an answer to prayer that really built your faith in God.

7. Write out your own story of coming to faith in Christ. Who shared with you?

8. Make a list of some people in your world who you would love to come to faith in Christ this year.

9.  What are some of the joys or benefits of serving through volunteering (inside or outside church)?

Mark Conner Bible, Special Events

The Purpose of Lent

LentTomorrow is Lent, an important part of the liturgical year for many Christians, lasting approximately six weeks leading up to Easter Sunday. The traditional purpose of Lent is the preparation of the believer through prayer, repentance, generosity and fasting (or the giving up of certain types of luxuries). You may want to consider committing yourself to this journey as the next step after our own 14 day period of prayer and fasting.

YouVersion has put together a Lent For Everyone Reading Plan. Lent for Everyone is a devotional created and written by N.T. (Tom) Wright. For each day of Lent, there is a reading chosen from the Gospel of Matthew, plus a reflection by Wright. These readings have grown out of a project encouraging Lent reading in Northern England. 

Most people are more likely to follow through on their good intentions when they share the experience with others. As you're reading each day, you might reflect on one or two verses that really speak to you, and share them with your friends on Facebook and Twitter. Also, we improve our chances of finishing what we start when we invite others to hold us accountable. Consider signing up to send reminder emails to yourself and a friend to track your progress through your Reading Plan. Simply sign in at YouVersion.com, go to your Reading Plans, select a plan, select Plan Overview, and then go to the Accountability tab. Just fill in a few simple blanks and you'll have an accountability partner. Of course, you can turn off reminder emails at any time, just as easily.

Why We Need Lent - by Canon J John [Guest Post]

This Wednesday is what is called Ash Wednesday in the church calendar and it marks the start of the forty-day period of Lent that runs up to Easter Day. There is a longstanding tradition and practice that some Christians follow of fasting during Lent. The principle is that during this period you voluntarily deny yourself something such as chocolate or alcohol – or even Facebook or television. It has to be something that you like (there is no merit in giving up something you dislike!) and it has to be something good; after all, if it’s bad you ought to give it up permanently, not just take a break from it. Now this whole idea strikes many people today as bizarre or even medieval.

On reflection, it seems to me that the idea of Lent and fasting has never been more needed. The reason is quite simply this: our modern culture is utterly fixated not simply on having things, but on having them now. The result is any number of messages in advertisements and the media encouraging us not to save, but instead to buy what we want on credit and have it immediately. This obsession with the instantaneous and immediate can be seen in almost every area. We want instant food (long live the microwave), television programmes when we want, instant messaging, real-time meetings (even if they end up being virtual) and instant downloads of music, films or books. We don’t ‘do’ waiting anymore. Whether it’s food, pleasure, sex or possessions, we expect to have them all now.

Yet there is something very dangerous about this demand for ‘instant gratification’ and it’s not just Christians who say so. The reality is that all good things (and food, pleasure, sex or possessions are exactly that) are truly at their best only when they are taken at the right time. Deliberately delaying a pleasure (and that’s what fasting in Lent is all about) is actually a wise thing. The ability to postpone our gratification may actually be critical to making us fulfilled human beings. After all, if you want your pleasures now, you are really going to struggle with things like learning to play the piano or acquiring a foreign language where it may be months before you can tap out that tune (which I discovered!) or engage in a meaningful conversation on holiday.

To decide to postpone a pleasure may even have been fundamental in making the human race what we are. Some people point out that the greatest breakthrough in history was when people realised that instead of eating grains of wheat or rice it was a far smarter thing to plant them and wait a few months until the crops sprang up. That discovery of cultivation allowed settlements, farms and ultimately civilisation to flourish. The ability to postpone taking something good and desirable is something that has continued to play an important part in culture. The Industrial Revolution came about because people (mainly Christians) decided that rather than spending their money on instant pleasure they would invest it in industries for long-term gain.

It’s not just history that teaches us about the disadvantages of instant gratification; there is also some hard psychological evidence on the subject. The ‘Stanford Marshmallow Experiment’ (you can Google the phrase for the details) is fascinating. In summary, what happened was this. In the early 1970s a group of four-year-old children took part in a psychological study. Each child was given one marshmallow and promised that, if they could wait twenty minutes before eating it, they would be given a second one. Some children could wait the twenty minutes and others couldn’t. Records were kept and sixteen years later the university researchers revisited the children and found that those who had been able to delay eating were scoring significantly higher in academic tests. The ability to say ‘no, not now’ seems to be vital to both civilisation and education.

With this in mind you can see where Lent fits in. By helping us learn to say ‘no, not now’ it teaches us self-control and an expectation and an anticipation of what God may reveal to us; Lent isn’t just a human exercise but a sacred discipline.
Agapé,
Revd. Canon J.John

Mark Conner Church

The Search to Belong

BelongIn his most recent book, What Makes Us Tick?, Australian sociologist Hugh Mackay observes that “from the family to the workplace, from the school gate to the local coffee shop or pub, and from religious, political or sporting affiliations to friendship circles, both online and offline, we are as socially interdependent as ever. Our default position, as humans, is together, even for those of us who cherish time alone … We need to belong.” He goes on to say that “this desire to belong drives our attachment to two kinds of groups: herds and tribes … The herd, typically comprising seven or eight people linked by friendship, a common interest or purpose – nurtures our confidence and self-respect, and wraps us in the kind of security blanket only membership of a small group can provide. The tribe gives us a larger-scaled, more corporate, more public – and sometimes noisier and more passionate – sense of identity and belonging.” As followers of Christ, we believe that this desire to belong was placed in the human heart by God. It is a reflection of the image and nature of God, who is a community of three persons living in loving relationship to such a degree that they are truly ONE. God IS love and we were created just like him – to love and be loved; to belong … somewhere.

There are many ways and place in which we can experience a sense of belonging, such as our family, with our friends, and in various groups we are a part of. One of the most important groups God calls us to be a part of and to belong to is the church. The church is the one thing Jesus said he would build (Matt.16:16-18). It is a community of people called together for a common purpose. Being a disciple of Jesus means entering a relationship with God and then becoming a member of his family, where we do life together with other brothers and sisters in Christ. Church is NOT primarily a place you ‘go to’ or an organisation you join. It is a family you become a ‘part of’ and ‘belong to’ (read Acts 2:37-47).

A Program Shift

Back in 1995, I was inspired about the need for churches to embark on a “program shift” – a shift from events to relationships. People need to belong not just believe. Rather than sitting in a large church gathering a few times each week (in rows), it's better for people to attend ONE weekend church meeting, be involved in ONE small group (sitting in a circle), and then serve somewhere. I believe that this approach, along with personal devotional time, positions a person for growth in Christ. After all, THE mark of a mature church is LOVE (John 13:34-35), something that cannot best be experienced in crowds of people.

God desires that we experience meaningful relationships and a sense of belonging, especially in a world increasingly characterised by individualism, loneliness and isolation. In a large church, the best environment for this to occur is within a small group. That’s why healthy churches have adopted some kind of small group strategy. Of course, merely gathering a few people together doesn’t guarantee close relationships or a sense of belonging. There are some factors that are vital for genuine community to become a reality for any group – whether that be a small group, a family or a work team.

Great Groups

1. GIVE something to your group. Approach your group with the intention of ‘giving’ something to the group rather than just being focused on ‘getting’ something out of it. This is a kingdom principle taught by Jesus who said, “It is more blessed to give than to receive (Acts 20:35).” Our life is most full and most joyful when we are busy being a blessing to other people rather than when we are totally centred and focused on our own needs. Any group made up of individuals who are simply in the group for what they can get out of it are bound to become dysfunctional. We need to embrace kingdom values – it’s in giving that we receive (Luke 6:38). Commit to making a contribution to your group.

2. RESPOND to the needs of others. The apostle Paul tells us, “Don’t look only for our own interests, but take an interest in others too” (Phil.2:4). The overwhelming emphasis of the New Testament teaching about church community is a mutual responsibility between believers to look out for “one another” and then respond to one another’s needs. Great groups are not made up of a leader who is desperately trying to pull everyone along to a meeting and then trying to meet all their needs. They are a place of mutual friendship where the entire group is committed to each other. This requires that we look and listen to those around us, being attentive to what is happening in their lives. See a need and then do your best to meet it or at least be a support to them.

3. OPEN your life to others. The level of intimacy or closeness in any relationship or group is directly related to the level of openness. Paul modelled a life of transparency and authenticity (see 2 Cor.6:11), continually being open and real about his struggles and the challenges he was facing (see 2 Cor.4:8-9, 16-18; 6:3-10; 7:5-6; 11:23-29; 12:7-10. 2 Tim.3:10-12), and Jesus did the same (Matt.26:36-38). Share how you are really doing (Jas.5:16). Our need is often a gift to someone else who may find joy in meeting that need or at least helping us through. Obviously, there are levels and degrees of openness and we need to discern what is appropriate in each relationship. Greater openness should only occur where we feel ‘safe’ and where we have established ‘trust’ with other people.

4. UNDERSTAND that relationships are essential to personal growth. Life change takes place best in the context of relationships. Character qualities such as patience, kindness and forgiveness are best developed in real life interaction with others. It is in the very process of doing life with other people that we grow and mature. Even a challenging relationship can be powerfully transforming (Prov.27:17). Every group has people who are different than you. These kinds of relationships provide the opportunity for us to grow. They draw us out of our comfort zones and stretch our loving capacity.

5. PLANT your life in the soil of God’s love. Groups are imperfect, as are the people in them. If we don’t recognise this reality, we can set ourselves up for disappointment. Don't put too much pressure on any one group to meet every need in your life. Ultimately, we need to build our lives on God’s love. His love provides us with acceptance, security, significance and value (Eph.3:14-21). God desires us to be rooted and established on his love – not our performance or people’s opinions of us.

Conclusion

Everyone wants to belong. Church is a family where people can experience meaningful relationships. Each one of us contributes to that becoming a reality. Small groups have the potential to be a place of loving relationships characterised by care, discipleship, ministry and outreach. Let’s work together to create environments where the Holy Spirit can move and bring about change and growth in our lives.

Reflection Questions

1. Reflect on Hugh Mackay’s comments about the human desire to belong, and especially his observations about “herds” and “tribes.”

2. Read Acts 2:37-47 and imagine what church life was like in the 1st century. What would it have felt like to gather in the temple area and then in homes?

3. What are some barriers people have in joining a small group? How can we help overcome these?

4. Review the five principles of great groups. Which one spoke to you the most?

5. How would you rate the level of openness or vulnerability in the groups you are a part of?

6. Think of a conflict or difficult relationship that helped you grow as a person.

7. How does our view of God and his love for us affect our relationships with other people?

Great Quotes

"None of us can do what all of us can do … together." Max Lucado

"Your true belongings aren't possessions; they're your relationships." Leonard Sweet

"The future of the church depends on whether it develops true community. We can get by for a while on size, skilled communication, and programs to meet every need, but unless we sense that we belong to each other, with masks off, the vibrant church of today will become the powerless church of tomorrow." Larry Crabb

"The development of meaningful relationships where every member carries a significant sense of belonging is central to what it means to be the church." Randy Frazee.

"Our relationship with each other is the criterion the world uses to judge whether our message is truthful – Christian community is the final apologetic." Francis Schaeffer.

"When it comes to fellowship, size matters. Smaller is better. You can worship with a crowd, but you can't fellowship with one." Rick Warren

"You are members of God's very own family, citizens of God's country, and you belong in God's household with every other Christian." Ephesians 2:19b. LB

Mark Conner Bible

Reflections from Proverbs 3


ProvA few reflections from Proverbs 3:

1. Remember the words of wisdom taught to you. Don’t forget them. Store them in your heart and live them out. As a result, you’ll have a long and satisfying life. Things such as loyalty and kindness are essential. Write them deep within your heart and wear them so everyone can see them. If you do this, you will find favour with God and people, and you’ll gain a good reputation (vs.1-4).

2. Do you want to renew your health and vitality? Trust in the Lord with all your heart and don’t rely on your own understanding. Seek to do his will in everything you do. He will direct your paths. Don’t be impressed with your own wisdom. Instead, fear God and turn from evil (vs.5-8).

3. Give God the best part of everything. God will bless us with the very best in return (vs.9-10).

4. Getting wisdom (seeing life from God’s perspective) is the most important thing in life – other than intimacy with God, which is the source of all true wisdom. Once you have wisdom – you have everything you need. Wealth comes along, yet more than that – life, honour, guidance, joy and genuine satisfaction. Wisdom is like a ‘tree of life’ to those who embrace her. Happy are those who hold her tightly and don’t let her go. Think about it – by wisdom the Lord founded the earth and established the heavens. Wisdom is the one requirement for creating or building anything (vs.13-18).

Wisdom is all – encompassing. It includes good planning and insight. These things bring you life, honour and respect. They keep you safe and free from fear. God is your security and he will keep you safe from the traps of the enemy.

5. God offers his friendship to the godly (vs.32). Think about it. The God of heaven, the creator of the universe, offers you the opportunity and the privilege of being his friend. He wants to take you into his confidence and share his secrets with you.

6. As we walk uprightly before God, his blessing is on our homes and we are free from the curse (vs.33).

7. As we keep humble, God shows his favour to us. He does not mock us (vs.34).

8. As we become wise, we will inherit honour and we will not be put to shame (vs.35).

Wisdom for life …