Mark Conner Leadership, Personal Development

Developing Confidence (Pt.5)

Developing_self_confidence

Here are my own favourite confidence builders, gleaned from years of life and ministry experience:

Confidence Builders

1. SEE yourself as God sees you. Your words and actions are a reflection of how you see yourself. Therefore, you cannot constantly live and/or minister in a manner that is inconsistent with the way you see yourself. If you think you are a "grasshopper" you will act like one (Numbers 13:33). If you think you are more than able, you will act with that confidence. Gideon had to change the way he saw himself in order to conquer fear and become the mighty warrior God saw he could become (Judges 6:12-14). See yourself as God's child – deeply loved and of great worth, value and significance (Psalm 139:14). You are loved, called and empowered by God! God makes heroes our of ordinary people.

2. LEARN all you can. Ask and receive wisdom. Gain knowledge. We are all confident at something because we learned how. Anything is easy when you know how. Receive training. Prepare well. The better you prepare, the more confident you will be. Gain confidence in new areas.

3. Gain EXPERIENCE. Past successes provide confidence for today. Get a few wins under your belt. David's defeat of the lion and the bear when no one was looking gave him confidence to run towards Goliath the giant in the presence of crowds of people looking on. Start where you are and take baby steps of faith. If you aren't managing well what you currently have been entrusted with, why expect more? Learn from your failures too.

4. Allow OTHERS to Speak into Your Life. People tend to become what those closet to them believe they can become. Our friends/peers have a great influence on us. Are the people around you confidence knockers or confidence builders? Spend time with positive people who believe in you and encourage you to be all you can be in God.

5. Don’t COMPARE yourself with others. Learn from others but don't copy or imitate (2 Corinthians 10:12). Find your own voice. God doesn't want clones! YOU are unique. Be the best you can be for God’s glory. When it comes to skill or knowledge, there is always someone better than you and someone not as good as you. Simply be the best you can be. God’s gift to you is your potential. Your gift back to him is what you do with it. You will be held accountable for only what you received. I can't be someone else but I can be ME! So can you.

6. Cling to GOD. Our confidence is to be in God. That's how David defeated Goliath when everyone else was paralysed with fear and intimidation (1 Samuel 17). Through prayer and dependence on God we can draw on the assistance of the Holy Spirit who is our Helper. God gives grace to the humble. Trust in God – HE is able to do way above what we could ask, think or imagine.

Prayer

Confidence rarely strikes us like a lightning bolt. It often begins with a simple choice – to step out and BE confident in God! May you have a fresh encounter with God today … resulting in a fresh impartation of confidence for life and ministry.

You can boldly declare:

  • “I can BE who God says I can BE!”
  • “I can DO what God says I can DO!”
Mark Conner Leadership, Personal Development

Developing Confidence (Pt.4)

Developing_self_confidence

Confidence Builders

Your confidence can grow.

What from? Here's a list that I collected from our recent staff meeting:

  • Faith in God.
  • Encouragement and affirmation from other people.
  • Success.
  • Good preparation.
  • Self-belief.
  • Someone believing in you.
  • Forgiveness.
  • The company we keep.
  • Experience.
  • Being empowered by others.
  • Training.
  • God's Word.
  • An encounter with God.
  • Using your spiritual gifts.
  • Practice. 

What builds your confidence? Take some time to think about it. It's important to know how to build yourself up or encourage yourself in God.

Tomorrow I'll share what I've learned about developing confidence. 

[Part 5]

Mark Conner Leadership, Personal Development

Developing Confidence (Pt.3)

Developing_self_confidence

Confidence Knockers

Your confidence will come under attack.

What from? Here's a list that I collected from a recent staff meeting as we all brain-stormed around our life and leadership experiences:

  • Doubt.
  • Mistakes or failure.
  • Fear.
  • Criticism or negative words from other people.
  • Disappointment.
  • Intimidation.
  • Negative 'self-talk'.
  • Unmet expectations.
  • Lack of knowledge.
  • Poor physical health.
  • Tiredness.
  • Limitations.
  • Opposition.
  • Lack of opportunity.
  • Comparison with others
  • Bullying or abuse fron other people.
  • Unresolved conflict.
  • Discouragement.
  • Frustration.
  • Lack of encouragement.

What destroys your confidence? Take some time to think about it. What's holding you back or holding you down at the moment? We all need to know our enemy if we are going to overcome and develop the confidence God calls us to.

Tomorrow we'll look at some confidence builders.

[Part 4]

Mark Conner Leadership, Personal Development

Developing Confidence (Pt.2)

Developing_self_confidence

The quality of confidence can be defined as: faith, belief, trust, assurance, certitude, being sure, undisturbed calm. It is a spirit of faith that is certain of success, yet not afraid of failure. 

Every person used by God reaches their potential through confidence in God – despite difficulties, challenges and obstacles.

Encounters with God

Think of what happened to these people after an encounter with God:

  • Abraham left home to become a great nation.
  • Esther conquered fear realising she had come to the kingdom for ‘such as time as this’ – to rescue her people.
  • Moses led Israel out of Egypt.
  • Joshua led Israel into Promised Land.
  • David defeated Goliath.
  • Mary overcame public shame, criticism and gossip to become the mother of Jesus.
  • After Pentecost, Peter preached with boldness. Contrast that to his denial of Jesus before the coming of the Spirit.

Confidence before God leads to confidence within yourself then confidence before others and even confidence in the face of opposition.

Of course, we want to avoid over-confidence, which is more about self-confidence than confidence in God. False confidence can lead to arrogance, presumption and boasting. Pride goes before a fall but God exalts the humble. 

Lack of Confidence

Most leaders I know deal with a lack of confidence. They face regular feelings of fear, unbelief, doubt, inadequacy, inferiority, insecurity, and intimidation.

Timothy was a young leader with a good faith from a godly heritage and good character but he was shy and lacking in confidence. That is why the aposlte Paul wrote to him and said:

For this reason I remind you to fan into flame the gift of God, which is in you through the laying on of my hands. For the Spirit God gave us does not make us timid, but gives us power, love and self-discipline. 2 Timothy 1:7. NIV

Godly Confidence

The apostle Paul models a godly confidence when he says: 

“I can do all things (that's confidence!) through Christ who strengthens me (that's dependence!).” Philippians 4:13.

Confidence (like passion and faith) is NOT permanent! You can gain it, you can lose it, you can maintain it, you can build on it and you can grow it.

Tomorrow we will look at some confidence knockers then some confidence builders. 

[Part 1] [Part 3]

Mark Conner Leadership, Personal Development

Developing Confidence (Pt.1)

Developing_self_confidence

This week, we want to reflect on the area of confidence.

Let's start by reading and meditating on these statements from the pages of Scripture.

Ephesians 1:18. I pray that your hearts will be flooded with light so that you can understand the confident hope he has given to those he called — his holy people who are his rich and glorious inheritance. NLT

Ephesians 3:12. In him and through faith in him we may approach God with freedom and confidence. NIV

Philippians 1:6. Being confident of this, that he who began a good work in you will carry it on to completion until the day of Christ Jesus. NIV

Psalm 27:3, 13 Though an army besiege me, my heart will not fear; though war break out against me, even then I will be confident … I remain confident of this: I will see the goodness of the Lord in the land of the living. NIV

Psalm 71:5. For you have been my hope, Sovereign Lord, my confidence since my youth.

Isaiah 30:15. This is what the Sovereign Lord, the Holy One of Israel, says: Only in returning to me and resting in me will you be saved. In quietness and confidence is your strength. NLT

Hebrews 5:16. Let us then approach God’s throne of grace with confidence, so that we may receive mercy and find grace to help us in our time of need.

Hebrew 10:35. Do not throw away your confidence; it will be richly rewarded.

Hebrews 11:1-2. Now faith is confidence in what we hope for and assurance about what we do not see. This is what the ancients were commended for.

1 John 5:14-15. This is the confidence we have in approaching God: that if we ask anything according to his will, he hears us. And if we know that he hears us—whatever we ask—we know that we have what we asked of him.

Tomorrow, we'll unpack this important quality further. [Part 2]

Mark Conner Books, Leadership, Personal Development

A Personal MBA

MbaJesus once said that the children of this world are sometimes wiser than the children of light. That wasn't a compliment! We can learn a lot from those who achieve and accomplish things in fields such as business, arts, sport or leadership. There is wisdom to be gained from the experience of others.

In the business world, the most desired education is an MBA – a Masters in Business Administration. People will often pay a lot of money to earn such a degree, and especially from some of the most reputable universities around the world. 

Josh Kaufman begs to differ. He strongly believes that self-education can be just as effective and acquired for a fraction of the cost. Check out his web site at www.personalmba.com and have a read of his manifesto. You might then want to read his highly educational book by the same title – Personal MBA. Then have a look at the excellent reading list he has compiled on a wide variety of business and life-related topics. 

Worth checking out!

 

Mark Conner Leadership

The Dark Side of Charisma

Char

When we think of charisma, we think of inspiring, bold, self-confident leaders who attract many followers who believe in their clear and compelling vision. But is there a danger in an organisation becoming too dependent on a particular person and of a cult of personality developing? We want to build organisations that thrive beyond one person and that understand that a whole team of people are leading the organisation. 

Some leadership researchers have noted the dark side of charisma:

1. Leaders sometimes go from confident to arrogant, from bold to excessive in their risk taking.

2. They begin to have delusions of their infallibility and begin to go from consultative to simply suppressing those dissenting views.

3. They alienate their followers because they begin to take all the credit for their success.

4. They fail to develop successors.

5. They begin to develop impulsive behaviour and  failure to acknowledge and learn from failure. 

Some leaders go way beyond the dark side and are examples of cults of personality, who cultivate hero worship among their followers. 

Professor Michael A. Roberto observes that "there are negative charismatic leaders who are described as having personalised power orientation: they want to get people devoted to them as individuals as opposed to an idea, concept, product or strategy. Positive charismatic leaders, on the other hand, have a socialised power orientation, which means that they seek internalisation of values in their followers. they're seeking devotion to ideas, not devotion to them as individuals." 

Some Reflection Questions:

1. How do you define 'charisma'? What are its ingredients and evidence?

2. What are the positive and negative aspects of charisma?

3. What are the dangers of being caught up by the charisma of a leader and neglecting to observe a person's character?

4. Jesus was clearly a charismatic leader. How did he use his charisma to influence people?

Other Articles

The Dark Side of Charismatic Leadership by Stephen Fogarty.

The Dark Side of Charisma by Tom Chamorro-Premuzic (HBR).

Mark Conner Leadership

Leadership Myths

Lead

What do you think of when you hear the word 'leader'? We all have different idea and perceptions of what a leader is and what they are supposed to do. Often this is based on our own upbringing, our environment, our personal experience and our learning.

Here are five leadership myths that need busting (by Michael A. Roberto in the course "Transformation Leadership"):

1. "Leaders are born, not made – some people come of of the womb ready to lead others."

2. "Leadership is the act of lone genius, often thought of as the person at the top of the organisation."

3. "Leaders must be charismatic extroverts in order to motivate and inspire others to get them to follow their vision."

4. "Leadership requires formal authority."

5. "All great leaders have a common set of traits."

In reality, none of these statements are true. Can you see why? 

Leadership can be defined most simply as 'influence'. In that sense, all of us are leaders in that we all influence someone in one way or another. The question is not whether we will be an influence but what kind of an influence we will be. 

Lead where you are … today. You can make a difference!

Mark Conner Church, Leadership

Love Your Pastor

I-love-my-churchA good friend of mine sent me this earlier in the week. I thought it was quite funny but had some good points. Let's always seek to love and encourage those who lead us, in whatever capacity. 

Pastors have a tough job. They get more kicks than kisses. If a pastor is young, he lacks experience; if he’s grey–haired, he’s too old. If he has five kids, he has too many; if he has none, he’s setting a bad example. If his wife sings in the choir, she’s being forward; if not, she’s not dedicated enough. If he preaches from notes, he’s dry; if his words are impromptu, he’s too shallow. If he spends too much time in his study, he’s neglecting his people; if he makes home visits, he’s not a good time manager. If he’s attentive to the poor, he’s after public approval; if he attends to the wealthy, he’s ingratiating. If he suggests improvements, he’s a dictator; if he doesn’t, he has no vision. If he uses too many illustrations, he neglects the Bible; if he doesn’t use enough stories, he’s unclear. If he speaks against wrong, he’s legalistic; if he doesn’t, he’s a compromiser. If he preaches for an hour, he’s windy; less than that, he has nothing to say. If he preaches the truth, he’s offensive; if he doesn’t, he’s wishy–washy. If he fails to please everybody, he’s hurting the church; if he tries to please everybody, he has no convictions. If he preaches tithing, he’s a money–grabber; if not, he’s failing to develop his people. If he receives a large salary, he’s mercenary; if he doesn’t, it proves he’s not worth much. If he preaches on a regular basis, people get tired of hearing the same person; if he invites guest preachers, he’s shirking his responsibility. Wow! And you thought your pastor had an easy life! How’d you like to change places?

Bottom line: love your pastor.

"Jesus … gave some to be … pastors." Ephesians 4:11 NKJV

Mark Conner Leadership

Spiritual Leadership Lessons from Farming

Location_farming2025

Let's read and reflect on the following related Scriptures:

James 5:7-8. Be patient, then, brothers and sisters, until the Lord’s coming. See how the farmer waits for the land to yield its valuable crop, patiently waiting for the autumn and spring rains. You too, be patient and stand firm, because the Lord’s coming is near. NIV

1 Corinthians 3:6-9. I planted the seed, Apollos watered it, but God has been making it grow. So neither the one who plants nor the one who waters is anything, but only God, who makes things grow. The one who plants and the one who waters have one purpose, and they will each be rewarded according to their own labor. For we are co- workers in God’s service; you are God’s field, God’s building. NIV

Mark 4:26-29. Jesus also said, “This is what the kingdom of God is like. A man scatters seed on the ground. Night and day, whether he sleeps or gets up, the seed sprouts and grows, though he does not know how. All by itself the soil produces grain — first the stalk, then the head, then the full kernel in the head. As soon as the grain is ripe, he puts the sickle to it, because the harvest has come.” NIV

Here are the insights I gleaned:

1. The kingdom of God is organic in nature. It is not a machine that can be programmed or advanced by human effort alone. It is not about following a formula (A + B = C) but about learning spiritual principles and engaging with God who is already at work in our world. The kingdom grows "all by itself" – even while we are asleep!

2. There are things we can do to encourage spiritual growth. Our task is to create healthy environments for growth to take place. We can plant seeds and we can water them. We can also remove any growth inhibitors such as weeds or pests.

3. It is important to recognise the times and seasons. Life is cyclic. The seasons come and go: day and night, winter and summer, springtime and harvest.  The wise farmer recognises then works with the seasons. He or she does not fight against them. What season is it for you right now? Good things and lasting fruit take time. Be patient – stay steady and strong.

4. GOD is the one who makes things grow. There are things we can do and things we can't. We can't make anything grow – at least of lasting spiritual value. We can't save anyone nor transform anyone. Only God can do that.

5. The Holy Spirit, like water, is vital to life. Farmers pray and wait for the rain. They water their crops from dams or wells. Is it time to re-dig the wells in your own life and ministry? Is there some clutter you need to remove? Who could help – a spiritual director, counsellor, or prayer ministry team? 

What insights did God give you from today's reflection?

Mark Conner Contemporary Culture, Leadership

Leading in Changing Times

Hands-of-time1

Back in 1964 Bob Dylan sang, "The times they are a changing." How true and the changes haven't let up. One business writer put it this way:

Winds of change are barrelling in from all directions. Competition is tougher than ever and coming from places you least expected. The customer is more sophisticated and demanding. Technological changes are incessant. Government regulations are tougher. And everyone is restructuring, reorganising, reinventing, downsizing, outsourcing – all at an ultra sonic pace.

Don't look for a safe place to wait out the storm, because these winds are unrelenting. If anything, they're getting stronger and coming faster, blowing the shutters off corporate headquarters and small businesses alike… The weather report? More of the same!

The speed of change is increasing and future changes will be bigger and come faster because the rate of change grows exponentially, not incrementally. So get ready for the storm of your life. The hurricane season has just begun.”

That's a good description of business world but it also accurately defines the wider enviornment we all live in. And it was written in 1996!

How leaders respond to and lead during times of change is vital. The first disciples of Jesus were about to experence revolutionary change. Listen to what Jesus said to Peter:

“Simon, Simon, Satan has asked to sift each of you like wheat. But I have pleaded in prayer for you, Simon, that your faith should not fail. So when you have repented and turned to me again, strengthen your brothers.” [Luke 22:31. NLT]

My good friend, Dale Stephenson, noted recently that Satan's desire was to sift ALL of Jesus' followers but Jesus prayed specifically for Simon's faith, because of the influence he would have on the others. Smite the shepherd and sheep will scatter. No wonder leaders are such a target for extreme testing. Thats why our faith – our trust and dependence on God in all seasons and times, especially during times of great change, is so important.

The current reality is change and more change. We live in times of transition in multiple arenas that affects us all. We are in what Scottish cultural anthropologist Victor Turner a "liminal space" - “a space of transformation between phases of separation and re-incorporation. It represents a period of extreme ambiguity, a marginal and transitional state.” These times are characterised by darkness or fog – an obscuring of vision; an inability to see the road ahead. It's a period of flux - continuous change, passage or movement, a flowing or flow. This can create a lot of insecurity and as Virginia Satir said, “Most people prefer the certainty of misery to the misery of uncertainty!”

What should our response be?

I hear God saying to leaders: stay the course, keep at your post, be faithful, be strong and very courageous, do not be afriad, dismayed or discouraged, the Lord is with you, don't give up, stand still and see the salvation of God!

More Reading: Spiritual Leadership Lessons from Farming.

Mark Conner Contemporary Culture, Leadership, Personal Development

The Busyness Bubble (by Greg McKeown)

BusyWe have a problem—and the odd thing is we not only know about it, we’re celebrating it. Just today, someone boasted to me that she was so busy she’s averaged four hours of sleep a night for the last two weeks. She wasn’t complaining; she was proud of the fact. She is not alone.

Why are typically rational people so irrational in their behavior? The answer, I believe, is that we’re in the midst of a bubble; one so vast that to be alive today in the developed world is to be affected, or infected, by it. It’s the bubble of bubbles: it not only mirrors the previous bubbles (whether of the Tulip, Silicon Valley or Real Estate variety), it undergirds them all.

Here are the three words: “The Busyness Bubble.”

The nature of bubbles is that some asset is absurdly overvalued until — eventually — the bubble bursts, and we’re left scratching our heads wondering why we were so irrationally exuberant in the first place. The asset we’re overvaluing now is the notion of doing it all, having it all, achieving it all; what Jim Collins calls “the undisciplined pursuit of more.”

This bubble is being enabled by an unholy alliance between three powerful trends: smart phones, social media, and extreme consumerism. The result is not just information overload, but opinion overload. We are more aware than at any time in history of what everyone else is doing and, therefore, what we “should” be doing. In the process, we have been sold a bill of goods: that success means being supermen and superwomen who can get it all done. Of course, we back-door-brag about being busy: it’s code for being successful and important.

Not only are we addicted to the drug of busyness, we are pushers too. In the race to get our children into “a good college” we have added absurd amounts of homework, sports, clubs, dance performances and ad infinitum extracurricular activities. And with them, busyness, sleep deprivation and stress.

Across the board, our answer to the problem of more is always more. We need more technology to help us create more technologies. We need to outsource more things to more people to free up own our time to do yet even more.

Luckily, there is an antidote…

Continue reading here on Greg McKeown's blog.

Mark Conner Books, Leadership

Next: Pastoral Succession that Works (by Warren Bird)

NextWarren Bird and William Vanderbloemen have written an excellent and much-needed book about leadership succession within the local church: Next – Pastoral Succession that Works.

The book is based on over 200 case studies and 50 in-depth interviews with pastors and churches who have navigated the succession territory – either effectively or badly. There is much to learn here on this essential topic.

Here are a few key insights and facts from the book:

  1. Every pastor is an interim pastor. The day when a successor takes over will come for everyone in ministry.
  2. Planning for that day of succession may be the biggest leadership task a leader and church will ever face.
  3. Everyone wants to talk about succession … until it's their own.
  4. Dave Travis, CEO of Leadership Network, defines pastoral succession as "the intentional process of the transfer of leadership, power and authority from one directional leader to another."
  5. Equating 'succession planning' with 'retirement planning' is a major error in perception.
  6. The best time to think about pastoral succession is now.
  7. Most churches age with their pastor, the average age in a congregation being about five years younger than their senior pastor's age … unless certain exceptions are in place, including intentionally giving younger leaders ministry opportunity and leadership influence within the church.
  8. 'Founding pastors' (in comparison to 'successors') lead 45% of the largest 100 churches in the USA. Will they stay too long, like many pastors? Unfortunately, the average pastor steps aside only after 8-10 years of attendance decline.
  9. Newer churches tend to draw younger people. Long-established churches are often dominated by an older age group. 
  10. The average age difference between an outgoing pastor and successor is 22 years (taken from a sample of 100 well-known pastor successions). 

To check out my own take on this important subject, based on our two leadership transitions at CityLife over our 47 year history, see my book Pass the Baton: Successful Leadership Transition.

Is it time for you to pass the baton?

Mark Conner Leadership

Global Leadership Summit – Willow Creek

Speakers2014

Bill Hybels is one of the most outstanding Christian leaders I know. Every year in early August, his local church in Chicago, Willow Creek Community Church, hosts a summit on the subject of leadership. They bring in the best thinkers and practitioners of leadership from both the church and business world. Via video-cast, 10s of 1000s of leaders are challenged and inspired by this event. Then a few months later, the highlights of the conference are presented around the globe.

Check out the Australian Willow Creek Association web site for details of the seminars coming up in October. Why not consider registering you and your team. You'll be glad you did.

In the meantime, check out this year's summit web site and the summit BLOG, which has summaries of all of the sessions. 

Romans 12:6-8. We have different gifts, according to the grace given to each of us. If your gift is prophesying, then prophesy in accordance with your faith; if it is serving, then serve; if it is teaching, then teach; if it is to encourage, then give encouragement; if it is giving, then give generously; if it is to lead, do it diligently; if it is to show mercy, do it cheerfully. NIV

Mark Conner Books, Leadership

The Advantage: Organisational Health – by Patrick Lencioni

DownloadPatrick Lencioni's most recent book is The Advantage: Why Organisational Health Trumps Eveyrhting Else. He believes that all the competitive advantages that businesses have been pursuing over the years are gone – strategy, technology, finance, and marketing. No, those disciplines have not disappeared. They are all alive and well in most organisations. But as meaningful competitive advantages, as real differentiators that can set one company apart from another, they are no longer anything close to what they once were. That's because virtually every organisation, of any size, has access to the best thinking and practices around strategy, technology and those other topics. In this age of the internet, as information has become ubiquitous, it's almost impossible to sustain an advantage based on intellectual ideas. However, there is one remaining, untapped competitive advantage out there, and it's more important than all the others ever were. It is simple, reliable and virtually free. What he is talking about is organisational health.

Here is his Organisational Health Model:

Discipline 1: Build a Cohesive Leadership Team

Cohesive teams build trust, eliminate politics, and increase efficiency by…

  • Knowing one another’s unique strengths and weaknesses
  • Openly engaging in constructive ideological conflict
  • Holding one another accountable for behaviours and actions
  • Committing to group decisions

Discipline 2: Create Clarity

Healthy organisations minimise the potential for confusion by clarifying…

  • Why do we exist?
  • How do we behave? 
  • What do we do?
  • How will we succeed?
  • What is most important, right now?
  • Who must do what? 

Discipline 3: Over-Communicate Clarity

Healthy organisations align their employees around organisational clarity by communicating key messages through…

  • Repetition: Don’t be afraid to repeat the same message, again and again
  • Simplicity: The more complicated the message, the more potential for confusion and inconsistency
  • Multiple mediums: People react to information in many ways; use a variety of mediums
  • Cascading messages: Leaders communicate key messages to direct reports; the cycle repeats itself until the message is heard by all

Discipline 4: Reinforce Clarity 

Organisations sustain their health by ensuring consistency in…

  • Hiring
  • Managing performance
  • Rewards and recognition
  • Employee dismissal

Patrick has an excellent web site with videos, tools and processes for implementing this organisational health model. Any business, small or large, can benefit by gleaning from Patrick's insights. 

Check out the One in Jesus blog for an excellent example of applying this matieral in the unique environment of a church.