Here is a special prayer of blessing for you today:
Romans 15:13. I pray that God, the source of hope, will fill you completely with joy and peace because you trust in him. Then you will overflow with confident hope through the power of the Holy Spirit. NLT
The asylum seeker issue continues to hit the news here in Australia and beyond.
On June 29 at 7:30 there is a free debate in the city of Melbourne.
Business Faith Law and Morality: The Asylum Seeker Debate.
What is Your opinion?
The asylum seeker issue needs resolving. We encourage you to take advantage of this opportunity to listen to expert opinion and have your considerations and suggestions discussed.
What is the role of Faith and a United Faith Community in the Asylum Seeker debate?
Are Asylum Seekers an Economic opportunity or threat?
Does Business have a role to play in the Asylum Seeker debate?
Do we have a Moral obligation to assist Asylum Seekers?
Is Australia’s policy to discourage some Asylum Seekers Legal?
Experts, to lead us in discussion:
Contact bflm.eventbrite.com.au to reserve your FREE ticket and read more information. $9 flat rate car parking is available.
We fight the drug of porn with the power of love
Ephesians 5:1-14
[Josiah Conner kicked off our Modern Family series last weekend with a message entitled "Porn Kills Love" (watch or listen). Here is a summary, along with some reflection questions]
Steak: We have taken the good gift of sex and turned it into something it is not.
Steak: food is for eating (we have twisted sex into something it isn’t).
1. Think about the ways that sex has been twisted away from God’s intention.
2. The dictionary defines pornography as: Sexually explicit writing, images, video, or other material whose primary purpose is to cause sexual arousal. Think about what kinds of pornography there are in our world.
3. Have a read of the statistics about pornography below. Consider whether these statistics are greater or lower than what you expected.
Scripture: The Bible tells us sex is sacred and is not to be cheapened.
The Bible is a book about God’s love for the world. Sex is a gift of God given with a purpose (Gen 1:26,31) but humanity through sin took it outside of its purpose. People tried to come back to God by their actions but it was the hearts that God was after (Prov 4:23, Matt 15:16-20, Matt 5). Sex is not just physical, it is spiritual (1 Cor 6:15-20, Eph 5:1-14).
1. Read through the Scriptures above. Reflect on why sex is more than just a physical act.
2. Do you think God or the Bible is against sex?
Stats: Porn kills love
Here are some of the main ways that pornography kills love.
1. Brain: When we look at pornography it releases dopamine in our brain that rewires them to crave the feeling more and more. This is like taking drugs. We are the product of our habits (good and bad). Pornography becomes addicted to the good feelings of sex outside of the purpose in a loving committed relationship.
2. Relationships: Looking at pornography creates false perception of reality where we learn to expect what we see/read in pornography over real life. It creates distorted views of men and women. It decreases intimacy in marriage.
3. Injustice: participating in porn consumption creates the need for a system of injustice. While we may not be looking at the terrible aspects of pornography, they are all part of a system that makes abuse against women, child slavery and sexual abuse possible.
4. Spirit: porn pushes us away from the only one who can truly transform us. When you engage in pornography it pushes you away from God and community.
Are these statistics and consequences of pornography something you were aware of?
Shift: Fight porn with love
For those who are struggling here are some great next steps:
1. Choose: change starts with a choice. It may sound simple but what we tolerate we will never change. We need to make a conscious decision to change.
2. Talk: one of the great lies of the enemy is to make those struggling think they are the only ones struggling. We cannot do life on our own. We need community. As a church we need to create space for people to be real about their struggles and help lift one another up. (James 5:16)
3. Walk: Change your habits. There are some real practical ways you can change your habits. You can replace the bad habits with positive ones. Below are some great resources to assist your change
4. Journey: remember that change and growth is a journey. We are being transformed each day. Whatever our struggle, we must follow the example of Paul in Philippians (Phi 3:12-14) by forgetting what is behind and pressing on.
Response to Sin
How we respond to sin (of any kind) says a lot about our understanding of God and His grace. There are two extremes we want to avoid:
1. Rubbish: (kick someone while they are down). When someones is struggling we do not want to condemn them. If our first response to sin is retribution and not redemption than we are living under law and not grace.
2. Reinforce: (pretend it doesn’t matter). The other extreme is to overlook the sin. When we pretend sin doessn’t matter we cheapen the grace of Jesus.
The way that Jesus modelled is the best way to respond to sin (John 8)
3. Redeem (speak to the person they are yet to be). Jesus met people where they were but called them to something more. We want to speak to the potential in people. God met us at our worst and called children of God. We want to be a community that meets people wherever they are and calls them to their God given identity.
Recommended Resources
Professor Howard G. Hendricks (1924-2013) influenced a lot of people. Here is a collection of some of his more well-known quotes:
[Source]
Who would’ve thought that one photo could cause so much trouble?
It wasn’t the first time I’d been criticized for my friendship and solidarity with the Muslim community, in fact I’d had some threats of violence when I spoke up about Halal certification but this one took it another level. Had I renounced the gospel? Sure, being friends with Muslims, but praying in a mosque? Did I even believe in Jesus anymore? The beard didn’t help any.
Had I taken the instructions “love your neighbour as yourself” and “love your enemy” too literally? Too far?
1 John 3. This is how we know what love is: Jesus Christ laid down his life for us. And we ought to lay down our lives for our brothers and sisters.
We know what loves looks like by only one measure. Jesus Christ. We only know what loves looks like because we know Jesus and what it looked like for him.
And if I had a Bible for every time I’ve heard a Christian use their love for everyone as an excuse to be bigoted, hateful, insular, selfish, fear-mongering, greedy and self- interested I’d be the library at the Vatican.
You’ve heard it like I have. This flippant Christianese about loving people for whom we hold our deepest prejudices and ugliest hatreds.
Let me say this –
If it sounds like hate, feels like hate and makes people feel hated then it’s certainly not love.
There’s not some special form of love that only Christians get to know about that looks and feels a lot more like hate for those that it is directed towards, but in some super spiritual secret way is still love.
If it looks like prejudice, feels like prejudice and keeps us as far away from people as prejudice does, then it’s prejudice.
There’s not a special form of Christian love that looks like prejudice, feels like prejudice and distances and dehumanises people like prejudice but in actual fact is some secret kind of love that only Christians know of.
There’s no special kind of love where you get to be horrible to people, or pretend they don’t exist, a kind of love where you stay in your insular and ignorant world, judge people you’ve never met, protect yourself from difference and religiously maintain your privileged way of life and self-righteously sheltered paradigm.
There’s a reason that doesn’t sound a lot like love.
Because it isn’t love. It’s prejudice wrapped up in faith.
It’s ignorance wrapped up in religion.
It’s bigotry masquerading as Christianity.
It’s selfishness appropriating the name of the selfless one to excuse greed and insularity.
It’s our rampant desire for a comfortable, self-interested life using the one who gave up the trappings of heaven to set us free as an excuse not to give a damn about anyone except ourselves, our situation and our perspective.
That’s not love it’s blasphemy.
But seeing as that little rant doesn’t relate to anyone here in this room I want to move on and talk about some things that are a bit more insidious, a bit less overt and obvious but are nevertheless important to reflect upon if we are to apply this wild measure of love to our work in the community and world.
“This is how we know what love is: Jesus laid down his life for us.” There’s a CS Lewis quote that I find helpful to explain it in practice
“Love is not affectionate feeling, but a steady wish for the loved person’s ultimate good as far as it can be obtained.” ―C.S. Lewis
Another way of putting that could be “good intentions are not the same thing as love”.
Why? Because if we don’t do the hard work of turning good intentions into real outcomes for people then it’s likely that the “good” in “good intentions” is more about how good we feel about what we’re doing.
There’s a danger that we’re in fact congratulating ourselves for the intention to do good deeds, the videos we made to celebrate them and the likes on our Instagram account of ourselves with poor children rather than doing whatever it takes for the good of the people we say we love.
The phrase in CS Lewis’ quote “As far as it can be obtained” is key for us, I think. Love seeks the ultimate good of the loved person “as far as it can be obtained”.
Here are some very practical things that love does when love has the intention to work for the “ultimate good … as far as it can be obtained”.
1. Love intentionally escapes the echo chamber. In love we realise that it is easy to be surrounded by people, ideas, books and stories that affirm what we believe, the way we think, our theology, missiology and ecclesiology and we end up in a situation where we think anyone who isn’t doing it like us, or with us, must be naive, uneducated or willfully incompetent.
The echo chamber is when we find a bunch of like-minded churches, with similar culture to our own, and so do what they’re doing – it must be the right thing because they had a sick video and their people love it.
Love is not an excuse to be uneducated, or narrowly educated. Love is a steady wish for the loved one’s good as far as it can be obtained. As far as it can be obtained means being aware of the danger of the echo chamber where all our ideas, practices and projects are constantly being affirmed by those who we have become mirrors of.
2. Love is teachable and actively seeks out learning and critique. Love makes sure we’re at the cutting edge of community engagement, aid and development and have made every endeavor to learn from the best practitioners in the world about how to maximize our engagement with the people we say we love.
Love is not an excuse to do things badly. Love is not an excuse to be ten years behind. What I mean by this is that love won’t just send money, people and hours to any foreign aid and development project, or local community development work, driven by an emotional response we call love.
Love will, in seeking the loved one’s ultimate good as far as it can be obtained, actively seek to understand what it world’s best practice today and invest in that best practice.
If you don’t know what results-based accountability, asset-based community development or collective impact mean, it’s time to learn.
When we’re still behaving like the white Saviours who can solve all the world’s problems for them the photos look great but It’s not love.
3. Love maximizes outcomes no matter what the cost – because it’s about the recipient and what they get out of our love acting towards them and not about us and our desire to feel like we’re good people.
In a small church community like mine, hundreds of people hours and thousands of dollars are invested in helping the people we love. In larger churches it’d be thousands of hours and tens or hundreds of thousands.
Across this room, across Australia, it’s incredible to think how much human and financial resource flows from our love for others.
Love, seeking the loved one’s ultimate good as far as it can be obtained, pays the price of ensuring this investment does the most good it possibly can. That sometimes leads to conflict when we learn that our favorite projects aren’t aligned with good development principles, or that our community engagement isn’t helping but is feeding a dependency mindset.
Love sometimes means educating people that there are better organisations, projects, activities to invest their time and money into, and others that need to be abandoned, or radically re-imagined.
Love is not an excuse to avoid the conflict that comes from assessment, accountability and education. In fact, love makes those things essential because love doesn’t ask, “How does this activity benefit me and my church?” or “How does this keep people in my church happy and comfortable?” love says, “How can I best obtain the ultimate good for these people we say we love?”
This is how we know what love is – Jesus Christ laid down his life for us. What would you give up for love of people?
Changing the way it’s always been done? Escaping the echo chamber and being challenged by new ideas and paradigms? Being willing to take your people on a journey towards world’s best practice despite the uncomfortable changes on the way?
Maybe it’s risking your reputation, like Jesus being seen with sex workers, tax collectors and sinners as we do whatever it takes to make our community engagement about them and not about us and our church-culture measures of success.
This is how we know what love is. Jesus Christ laid down his life for us. Thanks.
Brad Chilcott
[Source: World Vision's National Church Leader's Summit – February 2015]
To all the mums out there, Happy Mother's Day!
We wouldn't be here without you. What amazing people you are. My mother passed away over 25 years ago now and I still miss her.
Nicole's mother, affectionately known as 'Oma' passed away 7 years ago and we still really miss her. Mothers are very special people!
The photo to above is an old one of my dad and mum (in the red top), and Nicole's dad and mum (light blue top)]
Here are the lyrics to a song I heard many years ago called Love Them While You Can by Chris Christian (available from the iTunes store).
[Vs.1] They tied our shoes, took us to school, patched our worn-out jeans
They soothed our tears and calmed our fears, and listened to our dreams
Somewhere along their golden years, their hair has lost its sheen
The notes to hymn one hundred ten crackle when they sing
And now they are alone, no children's voices fill their empty homes
[Chorus] We must love them while we can, we must love them while we can
For time just seems to hurry by, and the days slip into years
And the moments that we have will disappear
So love them while we can
[Vs.2] The folks that taught us our first words, still have much to say
The silver secrets of the world, lie beneath those crowns of grey
As they approach the end, we change our role from children to best friend
[Bridge] We always thought they'd be around Until the end of time
Until day we wake and find …
[Chorus] We must love them while we can, we must love them while we can
For time just seems to hurry by, and the days slip into years
And the moments that we have will disappear
So love them while we can
We have a saying here in Australia – "No worries!" Yet, many of us carry worries with us all the time.
Do you ever worry? A better question is probably, “What do you worry about?” Worry can come from many sources – our health, finances, relationships, the future, etc. There are many things to worry about that are real and relevant to our lives. To “worry” means to fret, to fear, to be afraid, to be anxious or to be overly concerned. Worry is simply ‘negative meditation’ or ‘negative imagination’. One worry feeds another so much that it becomes impossible to think of anything other than the risks and threats that could lie ahead. The more we worry, the worse we feel; and the worse we feel, the more we think in a worried and anxious way. We lose our joy worrying about things that may never happen, or that turn out not to be as bad as we had imagined, or things that were never that important to begin with. Worry rarely helps.
God's Perspective
Once again, as we turn to God’s Word as recorded in the Bible, we have lots of good advice and encouragement for finding freedom from worry. Jesus tells us not to worry nine times in his sermon on the mountain (Matt.6:25-34). He doesn’t want our minds to be preoccupied with the cares and concerns of life. The “worries of this life” (Matt.13:22) can become like thorns which choke and strangle the life out of God’s word, causing us to be unfruitful.
How to STOP Worrying
Specify your worries. The first question you should ask yourself is, “What am I worrying about?” Specifically define your worries clearly in writing. Make a list. Writing them down gets them out of your head. Be clear and specific. Admitting and defining your problem is the beginning of the answer. Confess your worries and confront them. Don’t deny their existence or run away from them. If you do you’ll never conquer or overcome them. Accurate diagnosis is 50% of the cure. When fears and worries remain nameless, it becomes almost impossible to deal with them. They tend to grow to unrealistic proportions. Much of our anxiety is usually not specific, but more a sense of unknown and uncertain possibilities that may lie ahead.
A study was done on the things people worry about. Here are the results:
40% of the worries people had never happened or will never happen.
30% of the worries were things in the past for which nothing could be done.
12% were worries about health and worry actually worsens your health.
10% were petty or minor worries.
8% of the worries were about anything substantial or legitimate.
Of that 8%, half, or 4%, of all worries, were out of their control. The other 4% concern something a person could do something about.
Therefore, research tells us that 96% of what we worry about is irrelevant. It’s not worth worrying about!
Don’t worry about the unimportant. Don’t fill up your life with worry about trivial things. Ask yourself, “How important is this thing I’m worrying about”? “Will this matter in five years time?” Put your worry in a long-term perspective. “How bad or dreadful, really, is this thing I’m worrying about?” Don’t make a mountain out of a molehill. “How much is this worry worth?” Don’t spend more worry on it than its worth. You need your energy for more important things.
Don’t worry about the unlikely. Don’t waste your energy on problems that don’t really exist. Most worry is not only bad for you. It wastes time and energy. Many people lives are filled with tragedies that never happened.
Take action on your worries. The next question to ask is yourself is, “Is there anything I can do about it?” If “yes”, work out what you could do, or how to find out what to do. Make a list. Turn worries into actions. Do something about your worries and fears.
There are two types of things not worth worrying about: those that you can do something about and those that you can’t. Turn your worries into problems; then solve them. The antidote to worry is purposeful action. You can’t worry about something if you are working to take care of it. Worry is useful if it makes you sit up and take notice OR if it motivates you action. All other worry is pointless.
Take some action to address the situation causing your worry. Any further worry is unproductive, so drop it.
Offer up a prayer to God. Paul tells us … “Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.” (Phil 4:6-7. NIV) The Message Bible translates these verses this way: “Don’t fret or worry. Instead of worrying, pray. Let petitions and praises shape your worries into prayers, letting God know your concerns. Before you know it, a sense of God’s wholeness, everything coming together for good, will come and settle you down. It’s wonderful what happens when Christ displaces worry at the center of your life.”
Place your trust in God. “Is there anything you can do about it?” If “no”, then stop worrying and place your trust in the Lord (Prov.3:5-6). Co-operate with the inevitable and things beyond your control. Yes, there will be dark days, storms of life and unanswered questions. However, responding to life’s situations is your choice. No one can do it for you. It is an issue of trust.
Learn to live with uncertainty. Uncertainty is difficult to handle when the situation is uncontrollable or you can’t predict what will happen. There will always be things beyond our control; however, God is in control. Your life is not controlled by fate, accident or chance. Even the people and circumstances around you are under the domain and sovereignty of God. Nothing happens to you without God knowing and permitting it (see Rom.8:28). Let this motivate you to put your trust completely in God.
Conclusion
Why shouldn’t we worry? It’s bad for us and does us no good – unless it leads to action. It takes away our joy. What a worry worry is! The only thing we should worry about is worry itself – like the only thing we should fear is fear itself. But most of all, worry tends to get us focused on our own needs, rather than the needs of others. We become so preoccupied with our own concerns and problems that we are of no use to anyone else. In Matthew 6:33, Jesus tells us what to do instead of worrying – “Seek first the kingdom of God”. Get busy advancing God’s kingdom. God has called us to make a difference in the world – to reach out to others in need; to serve and help; and to share the “good news” about Jesus.
Reflection Questions
1. Reflect back on your life and consider various things that you have spent considerable time worrying about. What happened? Was the worry worth it? How did things turn out?
2. Read Matthew 6:25-34 where Jesus taught on worry. If Jesus were speaking this today, what would be some of the common worries he might have mentioned?
3. Think about how taking positive action helps conquer worry. Consider how prayer helps conquer worry.
4. Reflect on the concept of ‘trust’ in God. How does this help conquer worry? Read Proverbs 3:5-6. What is the promise? What are the three conditions to the promise?
5. Finish by praying specifically focused on things that you are currently concerned about.
Looking for a baby name?
In 2014, around 1 in 10 Australian babies were given one of the Top 10 most popular baby names; a total of 30,581 babies. There were more than 2,189 boys named Oliver and 1,796 girls names Olivia last year.
Keeping the top spot from 2013 is Oliver, the top boy baby name in Australia for 2014 having overtaken Jack and William which were 1st in 2011 and 2012 respectively.
Oliver was the top boys’ name in all 6 states (NSW, VIC, QLD, SA, WA, TAS) while William was the top boy baby name in the 2 territories (NT, ACT).
There were 230 more instances of Oliver than William, an increase on the margin of 37 from 2013. In 2014, there were 2,189 boys named Oliver, 1,959 named William and 1,841 named Jack which is a decrease for both William and Jack on 2013.
Olivia, with 1,796 occurrences is the top girl baby name in Australia for 2014, taking the top spot from Charlotte which is now in 2nd place. Charlotte was the most popular girls’ name from 2011-2013 but has now fallen behind by 123 occurrences.
Olivia was the most popular baby girls’ name in the three most populous states (NSW, VIC, QLD) while Charlotte was top in SA, TAS and NT with the names Emily and Amelia being the most popular in WA and the ACT respectively.
Although Jack is no longer the top choice for the top boy baby name, it is currently in 3rd place and sitting in 5th place is Jackson/Jaxon/Jaxson. This underlines the fact that the strength and popularity of the name still exists since combining the totals of those names would put it in 1st place, almost 1,200 occurrences more than Oliver.
9 out of the top 10 boys’ names held onto their top 10 ranking with Cooper dropping 7 spots from 10th in 2013 down to 17th in 2014 and Alex/Alexander rising from 15th to 9th during the same time period. None of top 5 names changed positions but James and Ethan both dropped 2 places with Thomas and Lucas both rising up the chart.
All of the top 10 girls’ names from 2013 have held on to a top 10 ranking in 2014. Olivia, Mia, Amelia, Sofia/Sophia and Sophie all improved on their 2013 ranking with Charlotte, Ava, Emily and Ruby being the ones which have dropped. Chloe was the only name to retain the same ranking.
In 2014, 8 new boys’ names and 9 new girls’ names have entered the top 100 list.
The names Harvey, Gabriel, Muhammad, Phoenix, Theodore, Maxwell, Carter and Fletcher have entered the list for the boys’ at the expense of Jesse, Seth, Parker, Darcy, Jett, Lewis and Jonathan.
As for the girls; Frankie, Eleanor, Emilia, Hazel, Lexi, Elise, Sadie, Natalie and Lacey have entered the top 100 with; Samantha, Eve, Daisy, Nevaeh, Skye, Indigo, Caitlin, Leah and Mikayla dropping out of the list.
Within the boys’ top 100 list, there are 18 names which have bettered their 2013 rank by 10 or more spots, 11 which have dropped 10 or more spots and 8 which have been unchanged.
Maxwell was the most improved boys’ name, climbing 41 spots to 97th bellowed by Fletcher, up 26 spots to 99th and Harvey, up 20 spots to 84th. On the other end of the spectrum, Braxton has fallen 31 spots down to 77th followed by Mitchell, down 22 spots to 83rd and Nathaniel, down 21 spots to squeeze into the list in 100th position
In the Top 100 girls’ names, there were only 8 names which lost 10 or more spots and 13 which gained 10 or more with 10 keeping their position from 2013.
Hazel gained a huge 63 spots to be 88th followed by Eleanor which increased a more modest 31 places to be 84th and Ariana, up 27 spots to 73rd. Chelsea and Amelie both dropped 15 places to be 64th and 95th respectively and Mackenzie and Eliza both dropped 14 places to be 56th and 81st respectively.
Choose wisely 🙂
Source: McCrindle Research