Personal Development Archives - Page 8 of 22

April 2, 2016 Mark Conner General Interest, Personal Development

Insights from the Eagle

I love eagles.

We live in a semi-rural area on the outskirts of Melbourne. When I took my first sabbatical back in 2012, on the very first day, Nicole and I were walking on a gravel road nearby and a huge wedge tailed eagle flew over our head and then up throught the trees. It was breathtaking. In the last few weeks, we have seen a pair of eagles soaring above our area a number of times.

There are many lessons we can learn from the eagle. God likens us to eagles (Isaiah 40:28-31) and Solomon gained a lot of wisdom and insight from studying God's creation (1 Kings 4:29-34). Here are my main points:

Embrace adversity. An eagle never runs from a storm. In fact, they thrive when the wind gets really strong. Eagles have been seen soaring in the midst of even a hurricane. It does not panic but merely rides the wind until the storm is over.

Every life experiences some stormy weather. Don’t panic; don’t be afraid; don’t run. Be still and know that God is with you in the storm. He will bring you through. Be patient – this too will pass.

Accept discomfort. A mother eagle makes a nest first with a layer of thorns, broken branches and sharp stones. She then covers this with fur, wool and feathers to make a comfortable bed in which to lay her eggs. Once the eaglets are born and ready to fly, they can easily become too comfortable – with a nice warm bed and 3 free meals a day! The only way to move them and get them flying is to make the nest uncomfortable, so the mother starts pulling out all of the soft lining so that the sharp objects start to cause some pain for her babies. Before long they are out of the nest and soaring the skies.

In the same way, God can use discomfort to disturb us and help us to mature and grow to our potential. After all, God loves to comfort the disturbed … and disturb the comfortable.

Go high! The eagle flies higher than any other bird, having been seen at heights of up to 2000 metres above the ground.

God does not want us to see ourselves as above or aloof from people or so heavenly minded that we are no earthly good … BUT it helps to view our lives from God’s perspective, to see the big picture … and not get so caught up in the details of our lives that we miss what God is up to. Take a long walk outside into nature (go treeside or seaside) and you'll be surprised by how quickly your life gains fresh focus.

Look carefully. The eagle has incredible vision and keen eyesight. It can see up to distances of 5 kilometers.

God has called us to have great vision – to see the needs of other people around us and to see the opportunities for us to make a difference.

Experience Renewal. Each year, an eagle’s feathers are replaced over a period of months. Amazingly, no two adjacent feathers fall out at the same time, so that an eagle is able to continue hunting and is not disadvantaged in any way.

We too, as God’s servants need constant renewal – we need a sense of freshness and newness in our hearts and lives. By waiting on God we can experience this – without having to drop out of life or ministry. Our youth can be ‘renewed’ just like the eagles … as we continue to engage in our God-given assignments.

Let's continue to soar like eagles!

P.S. For more insights from the eagle, see The Eagle Story.

March 20, 2016 Mark Conner Bible, Personal Development, Relationships, Spirituality

Stories Around the Cross – The Denial

The Denial (Mark 14:27-31, 66-72)

The theme of abandonment overshadows many of the Stories Around the Cross. Jesus was abandoned by betrayal (Judas), by indifference (the disciples sleeping three times in Gethsemane), and by denial and desertion (Peter and the Twelve). When Jesus needed them the most, his friends left him alone. They all participated in the supper (Mark 14:23), they all confessed their allegiance (Mark 14:31), and yet they all deserted Jesus (Mark 14:50).

Peter is as impetuous as ever – opening his mouth first and thinking afterwards. But he is hard to condemn and impossible to dislike. He has demonstrated nothing but reckless courage to this point – drawing his sword in the garden prepared to take on the whole mob and staying near the courtyard in a quiet boldness. We should be amazed at his courage not just shocked at his fall. Every person has their breaking point.

Peter is not surprised by the thought of the defection of the other disciples. Perhaps he even expects it of them. He does not defend their cause but strongly defends his own cause, “I will not! (vs.29)” He sees himself as the exception to the rule; where others fall, he will stand. There’s more than a little self-confidence and pride here. Jesus interrupts his bravado and says, “Today … yes tonight … before the rooster crows twice, you will disown me three times (vs.30).” Peter does not back down. He insists emphatically, “Even if I have to die with you, I will never disown you (vs.31).” Notice that “all the others said the same.”

Peter follows Jesus “at a distance” (vs.54) and eventually there is an escalation of three charges and three denials (vs.66-72). After the rooster crowed the second time, suddenly Jesus’ words flooded through Peter’s mind … and “He broke down and wept.” Humiliated, Peter is overwhelmed with guilt and shame, most likely morphing into sorrow and repentance (unlike Judas who was remorseful but not repentant).

Failure

Have you ever fallen flat on your face? Have you ever disappointed yourself, others or God? Maybe it was a sin, a mistake or a personal failure. Like Peter, you didn't live up to your own expectations or promises. We have all experienced this, at one time or another. Sometimes, over-confidence, arrogance and pride are catalysts. At others times, they are not.

When personal failure occurs, we experience guilt, embarrassment and at times shame. Guilt is the result of a convicted conscience. The Holy Spirit is the one who convicts us and it is always specific and aimed at response – remorse (genuine sorrow) and repentance (change – turning away from sin). Shame is from the enemy and moves us from “I did something wrong” to “I am a bad person”. It involves an ongoing feeling of condemnation and self-loathing, with a general sense of not being good enough. Shame is very harmful and engenders a feeling of unworthiness. This often leads to destructive and negative behaviours.

The Restoration of Peter

In John’s Gospel, we learn some more details about how Jesus took time to restore Peter (John 21:1-19). By a charcoal fire on the beach, bringing back memories of Peter’s denial by a charcoal fire in the courtyard (John 18:18), like a good shepherd, Jesus’ heals the wound of Peter’s denial and failure. Gently, Jesus brings this memory to the surface and heals it with love and forgiveness. Jesus gives Peter a chance to profess his love for Jesus, to affirm everything he has denied – three times. Old failings, old sores, old wounds are healed. Jesus not only forgives Peter but commissions him. It's time for him to be a shepherd, to feed lambs and sheep, to look after them. Jesus is trusting Peter to get back to fruitful work. Jesus is sharing his own ministry with Peter. Jesus is after all the “good shepherd” (John 10).

This is the foundation of all ministry – despite our faults and failures, Jesus forgives us and gives us an opportunity to join him in his work on earth. These are not things we do to earn our forgiveness. It’s all grace from start to finish. They are things we do out of the joy of being forgiven.

The Power of Vulnerability

It speaks volumes both for the accuracy of the Gospels and the humility of the leaders of the early church that Peter’s story of denying Jesus three times, in all its graphic detail, remains there starkly in all four gospels – the same man who confessed Jesus as the Messiah (Mark 8:29). Peter himself is most likely the source of this story. It served as a warning to other Christians who themselves would face persecution that even if the prince of the apostles denied Jesus they might do so also if they were not prepared. Even the best of us can slip and fall, as our human weakness falls prey to strong temptations. Not even the best leader is immune to failure. Nor beyond the promise of grace! We can be honest about our sin … because God’s grace is even greater.

Jesus did not give up on Peter … and he does not give up on us. Who would have thought that Peter’s negative example would have given courage to young and innocent Christians for years afterwards to stand up to questioning, persecution, torture and death rather than deny Jesus. Some even faced lions in the amphitheatre and did not deny their Lord.

Authenticity takes courage and compassion. Everyone around you has the same issues and struggles you do. Perfectionism is often driven by a fear of shame. All this is emotionally unhealthy. It makes your self-worth dependent on the approval or acceptance of others. Vulnerability is the cure for shame. It is the willingness to openly admit failures and weaknesses. It helps you build up resilience to shame and to feel happier about who you are in Christ and what you do have. In fact, the moments we feel most connected to others are usually those in which we have opened up to someone and experienced their empathy. We've all experienced the relief of opening up to others, our problems melting away as we begin to feel understood. This is a truly powerful weapon against shame.

Like Peter, may you know the joy of forgiveness from all sin and failure, of standing unashamed, and of being commissioned to join Jesus in his work on earth.

Reflection Questions

Think of a a time when you failed or did something that humiliated or embarrassed you. What did it feel like and what have been the affects since that incident?
Compare the difference between guilt and shame. How do we know the difference?
Why are qualities such as openness and authenticity so difficult for us as humans?
What’s the impact of vulnerability? Why is it so powerful? Why do some see it as weakness?
How does being vulnerable help us overcome feelings of shame?
Listen to Brene Brown's TED talks on The Power of Vulnerability and Listening to Shame. What did you learn?
What can leaders (whether parents, teachers, pastors or managers) learn from Jesus in how to create an environment where people can be open and honest about themselves, rather than building a toxic, shame-based culture?
What are some indicators that we have made God's grace the foundation of our life and ministry?
Pray and ask God for complete freedom … from guilt and shame.

[Picture – Rembrandt's Peter Denying Christ]

March 9, 2016 Mark Conner Personal Development

Bridging the Knowing-Doing Gap

Here is some wisdom from Proverbs 4.

Vs.1. Listen, my sons, to a father’s instruction; pay attention and gain understanding.

Vs.4-5. Then he taught me, and he said to me, “Take hold of my words with all your heart; keep my commands, and you will live. Get wisdom, get understanding; do not forget my words or turn away from them.”

Vs.10. Listen, my son, accept what I say, and the years of your life will be many.

Vs.13. Hold on to instruction, do not let it go; guard it well, for it is your life.

Vs.20-21. My son, pay attention to what I say; turn your ear to my words. Do not let them out of your sight, keep them within your heart.

Wise people hear God’s words and pay attention to them. They incline or lean their ear towards them so that they receive them into their heart. Just because God speaks doesn’t mean we are listening or receiving his word. Hearing well requires focused and undivided attentiveness.

Once we have received God’s words, we are then to retain and keep them. We must not forget them or turn away from them. We need to embrace them, take a firm hold of them and do not let them go. We do this by keeping them in front of our eyes and in the midst of our heart. We have to make sure we hang on to them once we’ve got them.

It’s one thing to learn to hear God’s words, it’s quite another to hold on to them so that they continue to impact us a long time after they have been given. To do this, we must capture them, write them down and then read them regularly so they go into our hearts and bring about life change.

This is a challenge to bridge the “knowing-doing gap”. John Maxwell says, “Most Christians are educated beyond the level of our obedience.” Ouch! C.S. Lewis once said, “We need to be reminded more than we need to be instructed.” We don’t just need to learn new things, we need help putting into practice what we already know. If we don’t, we deceive ourselves and we never really change. This is the root of much of our frustration – continually hearing but not experiencing God’s changing power because of not applying his word.

What do you already KNOW that you need to DO today?

February 26, 2016 Mark Conner General Interest, Personal Development

The Fisherman and the Businessman

A holidaying American businessman standing on the pier of a quaint coastal fishing village in southern Mexico watched as a small boat with just one young Mexican fisherman pulled into the dock. Inside the small boat were several large yellowfin tuna. Enjoying the warmth of the early afternoon sun, the American complimented the Mexican on the quality of his fish.

"How long did it take you to catch them?" the American casually asked.

"Oh, a few hours," the Mexican fisherman replied.

"Why don't you stay out longer and catch more fish?" the American businessman then asked.

The Mexican warmly replied, "With this I have more than enough to meet my family's needs."

The businessman then became serious, "But what do you do with the rest of your time?"

Responding with a smile, the Mexican fisherman answered, "I sleep late, play with my children, watch ball games, and take siesta with my wife. Sometimes in the evenings I take a stroll into the village to see my friends, play the guitar, sing a few songs…"

The American businessman impatiently interrupted, "Look, I have an MBA from Harvard, and I can help you to be more profitable. You can start by fishing several hours longer every day. You can then sell the extra fish you catch. With the extra money, you can buy a bigger boat. With the additional income that larger boat will bring, before long you can buy a second boat, then a third one, and so on, until you have an entire fleet of fishing boats."

Proud of his own sharp thinking, he excitedly elaborated a grand scheme which could bring even bigger profits, "Then, instead of selling your catch to a middleman you'll be able to sell your fish directly to the processor, or even open your own cannery. Eventually, you could control the product, processing and distribution. You could leave this tiny coastal village and move to Mexico City, or possibly even Los Angeles or New York City, where you could even further expand your enterprise."

Having never thought of such things, the Mexican fisherman asked, "But how long will all this take?"

After a rapid mental calculation, the Harvard MBA pronounced, "Probably about 15-20 years, maybe less if you work really hard."

"And then what, señor?" asked the fisherman.

"Why, that's the best part!" answered the businessman with a laugh. "When the time is right, you would sell your company stock to the public and become very rich. You would make millions."

"Millions? Really? What would I do with it all?" asked the young fisherman in disbelief.

The businessman boasted, "Then you could happily retire with all the money you've made. You could move to a quaint coastal fishing village where you could sleep late, play with your grandchildren, watch ball games, and take siesta with your wife. You could stroll to the village in the evenings where you could play the guitar and sing with your friends all you want."

The moral of the story is: Know what really matters in life, and you may find that it is already much closer than you think.

February 20, 2016September 28, 2018 Mark Conner General Interest, Personal Development

Could you live to be 100?

Over 3,000 years ago, Moses wrote this:

Our days may come to seventy years, or eighty, if our strength endures … they quickly pass, and we fly away … Teach us to number our days, that we may gain a heart of wisdom. Psalm 90:10-12. NIV

More people are living over 100 today than at any time in history. They are referred to as ‘centenarians’. The United Nations estimates that there are 316,600 alive today who are over 100 years of age. In the United Kingdom, it is estimated that one third of babies born in the year 2013 will live to be over 100.

Research has moved to begin studying the ‘super-centenarians’ – people living to over 110 years of age. On record, we know of 39 people who lived to 115, and 3 are alive today.

So what are some keys to living long enough to blow out 100 candles?

Establish close family ties and have meaningful social engagement. Being part of a caring community is vtial.
Eat healthy food. Japan has over 50,000 centenarians, so eat up on sushi and fish!
Don't some and have limited or no alcohol.
Exercise regularly and keep active.
Have a purpose beyond yourself. Spirituality is vital to longevity.

Here's to a long life for you!

Overcoming Worry

Worry is a normal part of the human condition. Our minds naturally drift towards thinking about what could or is going wrong in our life or our world. Jesus understood this and addressed it (Matthew 6:25-34), as did the apostle Paul. When writing from prison to the church at Philippi, Paul said:

Philippians 4:6-8. Don’t worry about anything; instead, pray about everything. Tell God what you need, and thank him for all he has done. Then you will experience God’s peace, which exceeds anything we can understand. His peace will guard your hearts and minds as you live in Christ Jesus. NLT

I like the way the Message Bible translation words this:

Philippians 4:6-8. Don't fret or worry. Instead of worrying, pray. Let petitions and praises shape your worries into prayers, letting God know your concerns. Before you know it, a sense of God's wholeness, everything coming together for good, will come and settle you down. It's wonderful what happens when Christ displaces worry at the center of your life. MB

I found that a good practice – as soon as I start to worry about something, I shape that worry into a prayer and start talking to God about my concern. It is amazing how much more you pray and how much less you worry with this kind of ritual!

May we each know and experience the peace of God today, protecting us from the worries and concerns of this life.

P.S. To read more about anxiety, including anxiety disorders, see Nicole's recent BLOG post on Let's Talk About Anxiety, as well as our daughter, Natasha's story: Anxiety and Eating Disorders: Tash's Story.

January 27, 2016 Mark Conner Personal Development

The Race of Life (Part 4)

How is Your Race Going?

4. Are You Detoured?

Sometimes we take a wrong turn. We're going the wrong way. We might even be lost. Even Jesus said that there is a wide road that seems attractive but it doesn’t always lead to life.

Think of the prodigal Son who left home for the bright lights of the city only to end up in a pigsty. Thankfully, he came to his senses and made a decision to get back on the right road by returning home.

Think of Jonah. He intentionally went the opposite direction that God told him to. A storm got his attention, not from the devil but one of his own making, with God seeking to get his attention.

Is it time for a U-turn? Don’t wallow in self-pity. Get up and get back on the right road.

So, how's your race?

Are you going strong?

Are you slowing down, maybe because of fatigue, uncertainty or lost passion?

Have you stopped, maybe because of tragedy, personal failure or discouragement?

Are you detoured?

Conclusion

I’ve been in ALL these conditions in my race! But where are YOU right now? Yesterday is gone forever, tomorrow is never guaranteed. Where are YOU right now? We can be at different places in different areas of our life. Thankfully, things can change in a moment! Wherever you are, God’s desire is for you to win – to finish the race he has given you to run.

Read God Sent You To Finish This Race.

Then read The Race, a poem about a children’s race.

My prayer for you today is that, wherever you may be in your race, you will be encouraged to keep running and that we will be part of communities of faith where we continually cheer one another one in our journey.

January 26, 2016April 30, 2020 Mark Conner Personal Development

The Race of Life (Part 3)

How is Your Race Going?

3. Are You Stopped?

Sometimes we stop because of tragedy. Bad things happen to good people. Pain, hurt and tragedy touch most people’s lives. We don’t always know why. Life tends to ‘freeze frame’ in these moments. We need healing and comfort. Grief, which is a normal response to ‘loss’, is a powerful emotion that takes time to process. In these times, though life must go on, it’s okay to stop, as it were, for some healing and restoration. You can’t keep running at full steam on an injured leg. Things have to change for a season – but hopefully not forever.

Sometimes we stop in our race because of failure. We’ve tripped up for some reason, taken a tumble, fallen down. This can be soul-destroying, embarrassing, humiliating. Thankfully, God is a God of second chances.

David made some very unwise choices in his life, commiting adultery then murder He rationalised and justified his actions resulting in deception that lasted until he was confronted from spiritual blindness. Eventually, when he stopped making excuses, admitted his sin and cried out to God in repentance, he was forgiven, though he had to live with the consequences of his actions. BUT he kept running and& finished his race (Acts 13:36).

The aposle Peter made some bold declarations about personal courage. But in the pressure of the moment, he failed. He denied Jesus three times! After that we are told that he wept bitterly. He was heartbroken. He has not lived up to his good intentions. Yet Jesus forgave and restored him. He went on to be used mightily by God.

Stories like these should encourage us! Have you ever failed or made a mistake? You may not be fully responsible for your fall but you are fully responsible for whether you get up or not. Refuse to wallow in self pity. Winning the race of life is not about never falling. It’s about getting up each time you fall. Proverbs 24:16 says, "For though a righteous person falls seven times, they rise again. Come on, the race is not over yet. Get up and win the race!

Sometimes we stop because of discouragement. Life has just gotten too hard.

Elijah hit the wall after a major encounter with prophets of Baal. Note: we are often most vulnerable after a big victory! He was so tired that he slept for hours. He ate, then slept again. He was exhausted and needed rest. Discouragement then settled in, then depression, then suicidal thoughts. He was so low that he wanted to die! God came, visited him and encouraged him. He gave him a reality check, correcting his distoreted thinking (which was out by 7,000 to 1!) then gave him a fresh focus on calling, with a few simple tasks to do to get him moving.

What abvoiut you? Are you frustrated or disappointed about unmet expectations? Jesus understands. He’s cheering you on, reaching out to lift you up, and to give you strength to finish your race (see Isaiah 40:27-31).

[Part 4]

January 25, 2016 Mark Conner Personal Development

The Race of Life (Part 2)

How is Your Race Going?

2. Are You Slowing Down?

Maybe you are slowing down for various reasons.

You could be tired or fatigued. You've been through a busy patch that has felt like running up a steep hill. Maybe you've been working too many long hours, running too fast for too long, and now have some 'adrenaline exhaustion'. You need some rest and a long drink. God understands this. That's why he created the Sabbath and integrated a rhythm of activity and rest into all of creation.

You could be slowing down because you are uncertain. Maybe you are moving through some new territory and into changed conditions. You could be coming up to an intersection or a crossroads. It's normal to slow down during these times. You need to look around. You can’t go too fast or you’ll miss things. Go ahead and slow down a little … just to get your bearings. It takes to time to adjust and re-orientate to a new situation where you are unfamiliar and a little uncomfortable. See also: Seasons.

You could be slowing down because you have lost your passion. You're just cuising or coasting. Your level of passion and excitement has diminished. You've lost some vision and purpose for some reason. Complacency, lethargy, indifference, apathy, or lukewarmness have settled in on you like a wet blanket. You've lost the fire of your first love. Thankfully, God is a fire-lighting God who can ignite fressh passion in us, if we ask. See also: A Personal Check Up.

[Part 3]

January 24, 2016 Mark Conner Personal Development

The Race of Life (Part 1)

As we begin the New Year together, it's a good time to reflect on our life – where have we come from, where are we now, and where are we going? Through the course of time, we all move through: age stages (child, teenager, young adult, adult, senior adult), faith stages (seeking, finding, growing, maturing), and seasons, with their beginnings and endings. One thing we know for sure – time is moving, and so is your life. This can be exciting and also sobering (see If Life Were a 24 Hour Clock, What Time Is it For You?).

No wonder, Moses gave us this advice:

Psalm 90:10-12. Our days may come to seventy years, or eighty, if our strength endures … they quickly pass, and we fly away … Teach us to number our days, that we may gain a heart of wisdom. NIV

Today, we want to look at the metaphor of a race as representative of our life. This may just offer us a NEW perspective that will be helpful. The author of the letter to the Hebrews wrote this:

Hebrews 12:1-3. Therefore, since we are surrounded by such a huge crowd of witnesses to the life of faith, let us strip off every weight that slows us down, especially the sin that so easily trips us up. And let us run with endurance the race God has set before us. We do this by keeping our eyes on Jesus, the champion who initiates and perfects our faith. Because of the joy awaiting him, he endured the cross, disregarding its shame. Now he is seated in the place of honor beside God’s throne. Think of all the hostility he endured from sinful people; then you won’t become weary and give up. NLT

As you run your race of life, throw aside anything that might hinder or slow you down. Understand that your race will require sustained effort (“endurance”). Keep your eyes not only on the goal but on Jesus. HE is the source of your faith and your strength.

So, how is your race going right now?

1. Are You Going Strong?

Maybe for you, life (family, work, ministry) is going great. Everything is clear. You are focused and passionate. You are making progress and have a sense of meaning for your life.

If so, that's a great place to be. Be encouraged. All of heaven is cheering you on!

[Part 2]

January 19, 2016 Mark Conner Leadership, Personal Development

The Power of Focus

Proverbs 4:25-27 says (Message Bible translation):

Keep your eyes straight ahead; ignore all sideshow distractions.
Watch your step, and the road will stretch out smooth before you.
Look neither right nor left; leave evil in the dust.

Here is some good and helpful advice for life:

1. Look straight ahead. We need to have a clear vision and direction for our lives. Know where you are going. This requires time aside in prayer and reflection about God's will for our life and the options we have available to us. There are many things we could do or places we could go, but what will we decide to do with the one life we have? What does God have in store for us?

2. Ignore distractions. We then need to focus on our intended direction. Avoid swerving to the left or right. Many things will seek to distract us and pull us to the side.

3. Take one step at a time. In addition to a vision, we need a plan for getting from where we are now to where we want to be. Craft this, then work on your next action step.

How does this apply to your life today?

January 12, 2016 Mark Conner Personal Development

Living a Joy-Filled Life

In order for us to live the joy-filled life God desires for us, we need to be on guard for joy robbers. This takes some work. It doesn't happen by just saying, “Don't worry, be happy”. We need a strategy.

1. Overcome Irritations with PATIENCE.

We can't avoid irritations coming our way. We have to learn to handle them. Thankfully, in-between what happens to us and how we respond or react, we have a choice to make. Jesus' brother James put it like this:

James 1:19-20. My dear brothers and sister, take note of this: Everyone should be quick to listen, slow to speak and slow to become angry, for man's anger does not bring about the righteous life that God desires.

It’s not wrong to feel angry but what we do with this powerful emotion can be destructive. Angry words or actions can be very damaging. Anger needs to be handled with self-control, which is a fruit of the Spirit’s work in our lives (Galatians 5:19-23). We either express ourselves or control ourselves. The issue is control. Meekness is yielding my right of control to God. Our perspective must embrace the fact that God is in control. He's allowed this irritation for a reason.

Dealing with past anger by apologising appropriuately or seeking to sort out unresolved conflicts. Then prepare for future irritations that will inevitably come your way. Ask yourself, "Is this worth losing my joy over?"

2. Overcome Worry with TRUST.

We've talked about worry before on the BLOG, showing how research reveals that most worry is a waste of time. Some worries are simply decisions waiting to be made. If we take action on our worries, worry can actually be helpful. But there are some things we worry about that are beyond our control. This is where we can learn to "shape our worries into prayers" (Philippians 4:6. Message Bible) and place our trust in God.

God cares for us. He is in control and his providence undergirds everything that happens in this world – orchestrating the good, the bad and even the ugly into an ultimate purpose (Romans 8:28). Yes, we make decisions and other people make decisions, and decisions have consequences, but in the end the Lord's plan prevails. Ask Joseph, from the Old Testament period, who underwent all sorts of betrayal, disappointment, suffering and delays but in the end essentialy said to his brothers, "You meant it for evil, but God used it for good … to bring about his purpose" (Genesis 50:20)."

Overcome worry faith trust in God today.

3. Overcome Nagativity with GRATITUDE.

In the Old Testament, the nation of Israel complained about everything – lack of water, no food, giants, their leader Moses, pretty much everything. God heard their grumbling (Numbers 14:27, 29, 36). The apostle Paul wrote about this as an example for us: "Do not grumble, as some of them did – and were killed by the destroying angel. These things happened to them as examples and were written down as warnings for us, on whom the fulfilment of the ages has come (1 Corinthians 10:10-11)."

Negativity, grumbling and murmuring destroys our joy and that of others.

Many things that happen to us (directly or indirectly) cause irritation. Often our response is to murmur, to complain, to grumble or to whinge. These negative attitudes usually lead to negative words that effect the atmosphere around us and expel our joy. Other people don't want to be around unless they're the same.

To overcome negativity, develop the character quality of gratitude. Gratefulness is about being thankful, showing appreciation, and giving recognition. Israel forgot the works of God as soon as something went wrong. When we murmur or complain, often we are forgetting the good things. It's in all of us. We are so blessed yet we take so much for granted. We have been given so much – let's be thankful.

Overcome negativity with gratitude.

4. Overcome Hurts with FORGIVENESS.

It's not wrong to hurt. Pain and hurt are part of this life. They will come your way at some time or another in various ways. It's inevitable and often beyond our control. We are all victims of sin in this world and we all carry its scars.

The Bible's pages are full of great and mighty deeds but they are also bathed in blood, sweat and tears. Pain and hurt touches everyone in varying degrees. For example, Joseph was rejected by his brothers, David was betrayed by his son Absalom, and women were barren. People like Job suffered deeply, as did Jesus, Paul and the early Christians.

Christian counsellor Larry Crabb says, "Our joy in Christ in not to replace suffering and pain, it is to support us through it”. Jesus was a man of sorrows and acquainted or familiar with grief. He endured the cross as He focused on the joy ahead. Joy is rooted in the future! Happiness is dependent on present circumstances.

God is to be the source of our joy and the fact that He is in control and will work all things together for our ultimate good. Weeping may endure for a night (season) but joy will come. Incomparable glory is coming!

Just like physical injury, emotional pain and hurt must experience a 'healing process' over time to bring about restoration. The church is to be a place where this can happen. Loving, encouraging and supporting one another. Scars may remain, but the pain can go away.

Wehen we respond with bitterness or unforgiveness, we delay or stop the healing process. The pain and the hurt remain. This dramatically effects us physically, emotionally, spiritually and relationally. God did not intend us to live like this. Bitterness is like a destructive poison. It destroys us and takes away our joy. Only forgiveness begins the healing process. Prayer, deliverance, counselling, inner healing, quoting Scripture all don't help – until you obey God's word and forgive. We can go through a bitter experience and not become bitter. Forgiveness releases God’s power into your life and into the situation.

Are you hurt? Ok. You have a choice. Do you hold on to it or let it go? God wants to give you His grace – the ability to respond rightly to life's pressures. He can turn our negative experiences (trials) into “gold”.

Conclusion

How’s your joy level? It’s the key to victory and spiritual strength. It comes from God and is independent of circumstances.

What’s your “joy robber”? Is it irritations, negativity, worry or hurts?

How can you choose to respond today?

My prayer is that you will truly live a joy-filled life.

January 11, 2016April 30, 2020 Mark Conner Personal Development

Joy Robbers

Yesterday, we talked about Christmas joy - the message of "good news of great joy for all the people." Yes, joy is God's will for your life … all because of Jesus.

But, we have an enemy!

Jesus made this very clear …

John 10:10. “The thief comes to steal, kill and destroy but I have come that they might have life and have it to the full.”

God wants us to experience an abundant life characterised by an inner joy and peace, despite our circumstances. But we have an enemy who comes to take away our joy anyway he can. We need to be aware of how he does this and be on guard so that we can maintain our joy each day.

Have you ever been robbed? I have. It's an eerie experience. We came home one night to discover someone had broken in the back door of our house and stolen a bunch of things. Notice that the thief comes at night and when we are least expecting them. In the same way, our enemy seeks to rob us of our joy in ways we often don't expect. Let's look at four subtle joy robbers today:

1. Irritations.

Irritations are things that agitate us (ruffle our feathers, get under our skin), causing frustrated and angry emotions. An irritation is something that exasperates, aggravate or stirs us to anger. When this anger is expressed, it scatters all joy. There are three major sources of irritations:

People – people's personality traits and idiosyncrasies are an ever-present source of potential irritation. It could be a family member (husband, wife, children), a work-mate, a neighbour, a church member, annoying drivers, or even someone at the shopping checkout.
Our environment or circumstances. It could be simple inconveniences, such as the weather, the traffic, a squeaky door, or a flat tyre or battery.
Yourself. We can be irritated by our own sickness, deficiencies, weaknesses, or mistakes.

Irritations rob us of our joy. In fact, it is impossible to be irritated and joyful at the same time!

2. Worry.

To worry means to fret, be anxious or be concerned. Worry brings a burden, a load, a strain and tension into our life. Worry can come from many sources, including finances, relationships, or the future.

Worry robs us of our joy. It is impossible to worry and be joyful at the same time.

3. Negativity. Negativity means to murmur or complain, to grumble or to “nit pick”. It often results in words that affect the atmosphere around us and push away our joy. We awfulise things out of proportion, distorting reality. We turn molehills into mountains. We see the jar as half empty rather than half full. We focus on what is wrong with a situation or person rather than what is right.

Negativity robs us of our joy. It is impossible to be negative and joyful at the same time.

4. Hurts.

When we are hurt, we have been wounded which results in pain, a broken heart or grief. Hurt can come from people (their words, a conflict, rejection, lack of appreciation, abuse – verbal or physical, or a broken relationship) or circumstances (personal failure, grief or loss, disappointment or loneliness).

Hurts rob us of our joy. It is hard to be joyful when you are feeling hurt.

Think of Joseph and Mary and the potential of these things to rob them of that first Christmas Joy.

Irritations – from a long 120 kilometer journey back home because of a census, possibly riding on a donkey, not the most comfortable trip when you are pregnant! Then finding no room in the guest house and ending up having your baby in a stable.
Negativity – baby Jesus is God in human form. Surely they could have received a business class upgrade or a better welcoming party! And then those unusual gifts – what's a baby to do with frankincense and myrrh!
Worry – for their very lives, because of jealous king Herod.
Hurts – from people’s opinions, the criticism, and inevitable gossip.

Which joy robber is trying to steal (or has already stolen!) your joy right now?

Tomorrow: Living the Joy-Filled Life

January 10, 2016 Mark Conner Personal Development

Christmas Joy

Christmas is probably a distant memory for most of us now but it is good to be reminded of the core message that it brought – one of "good news of great joy for all the people" (Luke 2:10) because of the arrival of Jesus as the long-awaited Messiah. The One who would bring salvation and make forgiveness possible, restoring our relationship with God and making the world right again.

Joy is a major theme not only of the Gospel of Luke but of the entire biblical narrative.

The Psalmists regularly call out for rejoicing, singing, and gladness of heart (Psalm 16:11; 32:11; 68:3; 110:1; 149:2, 5).
The prophets predict everlasting joy for God's people, with gladness and joy overtaking them, and sorrow and sighing fleeing away (Isaiah 51:11).
Even God himself is portrayed as one who takes great delight in his people, rejoicing over them with singing (Zephaniah 3:14-17).
Jesus told his followers, "I have told you this so that my joy may be in you and that your joy may be complete (John 15:11)."
The apostle Paul saw joy as a sign of the kingdom (Romans 14:17), as a fruit of the Spirit (Galatians 5:22), and as something that we should experience every day (Philippians 4:4).

No wonder A.W. Tozer once said, "Joy is an infallible sign of the Lord's presence."

Of course, joy is different than happiness. Happiness is based on circumstances – what ‘happens’ to us. Joy is independent on any external conditions.

God wants us to experience an abundant life characterised by an inner joy and peace despite our circumstances.

How's your joy today?

Next: Joy Robbers

Laughter is Good Medicine!

When was the last time you laughed? I mean, really laughed? One of those big belly laughs that goes on and on and brings tears to your eyes. If you are lucky it was in the last couple of days but if you are like most people you have been so busy trying to get ahead or attending to your TO DO list that laughter isn't as familiar as it once was.

Children laugh on average up to 300 times a day. Adults, about 17 times. That's a huge difference in our level of happiness. Obviously, age is a factor as kids don't have the same level of concerns and responsibilities that we do. But part of why they laugh more is because playtime is on their calendar.

Adults find it hard to schedule in fun because there are only so many hours in the day. Many of us feel we need to earn our play time or are on a race to success and feel our time is too precious to sacrifice. But research shows that happiness is a huge part of success. This means, rather than focusing all of our time on achieving future goals, it benefits us to access joy right now.

How much happiness do you experience when you were doing things in order to get ahead in the future verses immersing yourself in an activity that brings you joy in the moment? It's likely a significant difference because it is proven that when we are in a flow or completely immersed in something, our level of happiness is the highest. Think of how good it feels when you engage in activities that make you happy and what it's like to be with people who make you laugh.

Reflect on how it feels to be completely swept up in something you are passionate about. One of the keys to happiness includes carving out time each week to engage in play – not waiting till you are further ahead in life to feel that you are to entitled to take the time.

So relax and be at ease.

Reflect on a time when you were joyful as a child, experiences that made your heart race and grow bigger. Think of how good it feels to laugh. Think of some things that inspire you, invigorate you, and fill you up with joy. Think of things you would do if you had all the time in the world. What kind of activities could you bring into your life on a more regular basis? Is there a hobby you haven't been able to justify making time for? What would it take to step out of your comfort zone and try something new? Carve out time for things that would bring you joy and enhance your happiness.

Joy is the one thing we can never get enough of.

[Source: www.calm.com]

Proverbs 15:13: A merry heart makes a cheerful countenance, but by sorrow of the heart the spirit is broken. NKJV

A happy heart makes the face cheerful, but heartache crushes the spirit. NIV

A cheerful heart brings a smile to your face; a sad heart makes it hard to get through the day. MB

A joyful heart makes a cheerful face, But when the heart is sad, the spirit is broken. NASB

A glad heart makes a happy face; a broken heart crushes the spirit. NLT

Proverbs 17:22. A merry heart does good, like medicine, but a broken spirit dries the bones. NKJV

A cheerful heart is good medicine, but a crushed spirit dries up the bones. NIV

A cheerful disposition is good for your health; gloom and doom leave you bone–tired. MB

A joyful heart is good medicine, But a broken spirit dries up the bones. NASB

A cheerful heart is good medicine, but a broken spirit saps a person’s strength. NLT