Forgiveness

Have you ever been hurt or offended by someone? If you haven’t, you probably haven’t lived long or you need to get out a bit more. Everyone gets hurt – many times, either intentionally or unintentionally.

When other people hurt us we have two options.

1. Our first and natural response is often one of anger, bitterness, resentment, hatred or even revenge. We want to make the other person pay. Unfortunately, this type of response stops the healing process, which results in dramatic affects on us physically, emotionally, relationally and spiritually. We were not designed to live with the destructive poison of bitterness on the inside of us.

2. The second possible response is to forgive. To forgive means to give up the right to revenge, to give up the desire to punish or get even, and to surrender our right to hurt the person back.

Forgiveness doesn’t necessarily mean reconciliation. It doesn’t mean we should avoid confronting an issue or stay in an abusive relationship. However, forgiveness pleases God, it frees us and it has the potential to stop the cycle of pain and revenge.

Forgiveness … think about it. 

Faith

The majority of Australians believe in God – they have some sort of what we could call ‘faith.’ Genuine faith in God provides a strong foundation for many people’s lives – especially when everything else around us seems so uncertain.

Of course, real faith is more than just believing in something or someone.

Back in the 1800s there was a famous acrobat named Blondin. He became well known for crossing the Niagara Falls on a tightrope 335 metres long and 50 metres above the raging water. He astonished people by carrying a small table, chair and stove to the halfway point, where he cooked and then ate a meal.

At one point he pushed a wheelbarrow across the wire. He then turned to the crowd and asked if they believed he could carry someone across in the wheelbarrow. Everyone cheered. He then asked for a volunteer. The crowd went quiet.

Faith in God is not just belief or mental agreement. It is a willingness to get in the wheelbarrow and entrust our life into his hands.

Do you believe in God?

Faith … think about it. 

Acceptance

Images-16 One of the deepest needs in every human being is to be accepted – just as we are, warts and all. Some people will do almost anything … just to be accepted by others.

If you want to enhance your own relationships, why not give others the gift of acceptance. Choose to value and respect them – just as they are.

You know, subconsciously, we tend to have a rating scale for people and we treat them based on the value we place on them. If we’re walking down the hallway and someone who we think is a #10 comes along, we say, “Hi, how you going, good to see you!” (enthusiastically) If we meet someone who we think is a #2, we just say, “Hey …” If we see someone who is a -4 … we walk the other way!

We treat people based on the value we place on them. What is you started seeing everyone as a #10 and treating them that way? What a difference that could make in your world!

Acceptance doesn’t necessarily mean approval … but it is a choice to respect people, no matter what.

Acceptance … think about it. 

Expectations

Images-15 We all know that relationships are central to our lives. Of course, developing close relationships with other people is not as easy as it sounds. 

I read an interesting book the other day with a great title: Everybody’s Normal Until You Get to Know Them. How true is that!

Have you ever bought something from a shop that said ‘as is?’ Right away, you know that that item is most likely slightly irregular or even damaged goods. It is not normal.  There will be no refunds, no returns and no exchanges.

That’s a bit what it’s like when we deal with humans. If you’re looking for perfection, you’ve walked down the wrong aisle. The sooner we realise this, the better. We need to develop realistic expectations.

Of course, the really painful part is that I am in the ‘as is’ department too. We don’t like to admit that. We’d rather separate the world into normal, healthy people (like us) … and difficult people (everybody else).

The truth is that no one is totally normal! We all have faults and flaws. The sooner we realise that, the better.

Expectations … think about it. 

The Importance of Friendship

Images-14 The book of Genesis tells us the story of God creating the world. As God created various aspects of our world he declared them “good.” Then after creating human beings he said that this was “very good.” Then suddenly there is turn in the narrative. The writer tells us that God then said, “It is not good that man be alone.” Adam was not lonely – he had God and the animals – but he was alone, a solitary human being. So God made Eve as a friend and partner for him.

This story is not just about marriage but about our need for community – for relationships. None of us are designed to do life alone or in isolation. We need companionship as we journey through life. Most of us know that this to be true YET there a numbers of things that can become barriers to this becoming a reality.

Maybe its an unhealthy individualism, or a workaholic tendency, or a more introverted personality, or possibly a bad past experience. What’s holding you back? Take a step, reach out and connect with someone today. 

Relationships … think about it.

The Art of Apology

Unknown-7 Have you ever had a conflict? Maybe a better question would be, “When was your last conflict?”

As we do life with other people it is inevitable that conflicts and disagreements will occur. How successfully we resolve those conflicts will have a big impact on our lives.

In most conflicts, there are wrongs on both sides. The trouble comes when we only focus on what the other person has done … rather than on our own contribution. Let’s say for example, that you’ve just had a conflict with another person and they were 90% wrong and you were 10% wrong. Don’t focus on their part; focus on yourself. Take care of your 10%.

Learn to say a few powerful words – from your heart.

• Firstly, “I’m sorry.” Those words can change an entire relationship.

• Then try this one, “I was wrong.”

• Finally, try this phrase, ”Would you forgive me?”

When we take responsibility for ourselves and respond to the heat of the moment with humility and kindness … the other person often softens and the conflict can more easily be resolved.

Apology … think about it.

Authenticity

Images-13 A few years ago, I was having lunch with a friend of mine. I asked him how he was doing and he said he was “great.” He then asked me how I was doing. I hesitated at first but then I answered honestly. I was doing it tough and so I told him about it. The depth of our conversation changed immediately. He thanked me for my openness. Sadly, near the end of our time together he admitted that he was going through some challenges too … but he never had the courage to tell anyone. 

Authenticity is very important. It’s about being honest, real, and transpearant … no masks, no hiding, no pretending.

This is not easy – after all we’re into “image projection” and “impression management.” We have a strong tendency to hide and to want to look better than we really are. But what good does that do?

The level of intimacy or closeness in any relationship is directly related to the level of openness in that relationship.

Be open, honest and real. Share how you are really doing … with a safe person, a trusted friend.

Authenticity … think about it.

Perspective

Images-12 Imagine a group of people seated in a circle with a small table in the middle. Let’s now put an object on the table – a vase.

Here are three very important observations: 

First of all, no one sees the vase exactly the same. In fact, everyone sees it differently and has a unique perspective – based on where they are sitting.

Secondly, no one sees the vase accurately. There are parts of the vase that each person cannot see. Some portions are hidden and out of view.

Finally, the only way to form an accurate picture of the vase is to listen to everyone’s perspective.

This is a metaphor for life. Replace the vase with anything else – a discussion, a debate, a conflict, or a decision that needs to be made.

Don’t allow pride and arrogance to cause you to think that you have all the knowledge that you need and that there is nothing for you to learn. Listen to others and allow their perspective and opinions to enrich your own. By doing so, you will gain wisdom and insight.

Perspective … think about it.

Baggage

Baggag I love to travel. The very atmosphere of airports and airplanes energises me. I love visiting new places and meeting new people. However, my wife doesn’t get quite as excited. In fact, she starts packing a few weeks ahead of time, just to make sure she’s got everything she needs. I tend to pack in the last minute.

You know, as we travel through our journey of life we all tend to carry various sorts of baggage with us. Some types of personal baggage from our past can become pretty tiring to carry after a while. In fact, the emotional strain can become overwhelming. Sometimes we have to make a choice to ‘let go’ of things, including situations in the past where we were hurt by other people, where we were disappointed by life, or maybe where we failed ourselves.

What’s in your suitcase? What are you carrying with you right now? What’s dragging you down? Are there some things worth off-loading? Is there some baggage you’d be better off getting rid of? Doubts, questions, regrets, hurts … maybe it’s time to let them go. Why not do that today … even right now.

Baggage … think about it.

John 3:16

Bible - John One of the most well-known statements in the Bible is recorded in the Gospel of John, chapter 3 and verse 16. It goes like this …

For God so loved the world that he gave his one and only Son, that whoever believes in him shall not perish but have eternal life. NIV

You may have heard this before OR maybe it’s the first time you’ve ever heard those life giving words.

Christian author Max Lucado describes it like this:

“Here is a 26-word sentence of hope, beginning with God, ending with life, and urging us to do the same. It’s brief enough to write on a small piece of paper or memorise in a moment, yet solid enough to weather 2000 years of storms and questions. If you know nothing of the Bible, start here. If you know everything, return here. We all need the reminder. The heart of the human problem is the heart of the human. And here is God’s treatment …”

  • God loves.
  • God gives.
  • We believe.
  • We live.

God has done his part. The choice is now yours. Will you believe? Will you live the life the He desires for you? It’s your move.

John 3:16 … think about it.

Faithfulness

Faithful One of the most important qualities to develop in our lives is the quality of FAITHFULNESS. Faithfulness means being true to your word, keeping your promises, being loyal, being reliable, honest, and trustworthy.

Unfortunately, lack of faithfulness, or ‘unfaithfulness’, is becoming quite rampart in our society.

  • A recent study revealed that up to 70% of high school students admitted to serious cheating on tests.
  • More and more people are lying on their tax returns, on their resumes, on reports, and in conversations with other people all the time. All up, it is estimated that we are lied to about 200 times each day!
  • Other studies reveal that almost 50% of married women and over 50% of married men engage in extramarital sex at some time or another during their relationship.

I don’t know about you, but I find these statistics incredibly alarming. But the sobering truth is that each one of us (me included) have the same potential for unfaithfulness. I encourage you today to make a choice to be a faithful person. Be honest. Keep your word. Tell the truth. It starts in the little things.

Faithfulness … Think about it.

Potential

Potential – we all have it. It’s like a treasure chest waiting to be unpacked. It’s all about who we can become and what we can do to make the world a better place.

Most people don’t see their potential. They tend to see their faults and their limitations. Often it takes other people to see it and then to draw it out.

I’ll never forget a teacher who in my late teen years took me out to lunch. We chatted for a while and then he began to tell me what he and others saw in me. He told me that he believed I had a leadership gift and that God would use me to help other people. I had never seen that in myself before. I remember leaving that lunch feeling a lot taller than I already was. I was really encouraged about myself and my future.

As you mix with people today – don’t just see who they are now. See what they can become. Look beyond the surface and see their potential. Then speak into it. Believe in them, and help them to believe in themselves.

Potential – think about it.

Your Story


Story Every one of us has a story to tell.

Your life is your story. Your story is your life.

Like a story, your life has a beginning, a middle, and an ending. There is a theme, characters, subplots (work, family, health, happiness, friendship), trajectory, and tone.

 What kind of story is your life?

  • A comedy?
  • A drama?
  • A thriller (horror) movie?
  • A romance or a love story?
  • An action movie?
  • A fairy tale?

In reality, each of our life stories is an EPIC. It’s a long journey with many scenes, experiences, twists and turns, characters, and smaller individual story lines.

I wonder what is the ‘theme’ of your life? Yes, life has many twists and turns, as well as highs and lows, many of them beyond our control BUT you can choose what the theme of your life is going to be. You are not a victim to your circumstances or to what other people say or do. You can choose how you respond to what comes your way. Don’t make worry, fear, anger, or bitterness the theme of your story. Why not choose joy?

Your Story – think about it.

Creativity

Creativity Creativity – it’s everywhere. Just have a look at the world around you – there is such a variety of shapes, colours, textures, movements, sounds, and even smells. There is nothing bland, boring, or predictable about the world. In fact, there are over 6 billion people on the planet right now and each one of them has a unique fingerprint. Talk about creativity!

As you go through your day, ask yourself, “Is there a better way?” and “Could we do this differently?” Admit it when things are no longer working and make appropriate changes. Create an atmosphere around you that says, “Let’s find a better way” and that encourages “thinking outside of the box”. Regularly ask yourself, “What’s working well and why?” and “What’s not working and why?” Always be looking for new ideas. Don’t get stuck with a mentality that says, “That’s the way we’ve always done it.”

I believe that God is a creative God and that he calls us to be like him – people who are creative and innovative. He doesn’t want clones or copies. He wants originals. Create, don’t copy!

Creativity – think about it.

Feedback

Feedback One of the characteristics of wise people is that they are open to feedback. Feedback from other people can give us needed insight not only into our own lives but to any issue or challenge we may be considering. If you reject feedback, you will hinder your own personal growth.

All of us have things about ourselves that we are unaware of or don’t see. Only by being open to feedback from others can we learn about these areas and make positive changes.

Every one of us has weaknesses. Usually other people see them before we do! My theory is that the sooner I know about my weaknesses the quicker I can begin to work on them. So if my zipper is down – let me know! If I have cream on my face – tell me! Again, if I punch you when you give me feedback – how many know you’ll think twice about giving me feedback ever again!

Only people who are proud and arrogant assume that they are always right and other people are wrong – or at least misinformed.

Are you open to feedback? Are you teachable? Wise people are. What about you?

Feedback – think about it.