life planning Archives

February 10, 2021February 21, 2021 Mark Conner Soul Food

Soul Food Episode 19 – Endings

Hi friends! Soul Food is back … with all new episodes.

Today, lets talk about endings.

Four years ago this month, I finished up working at a place where I had been employed for 32 years. We sold a home that we loved and we moved interstate. It was a major ending for me. A huge step into the unknown. I become a little emotional just thinking about it.

In many ways, life is a journey with many different seasons and those seasons are marked by endings, in-between times, and beginnings … all interconnected. These beginnings and endings happen in our relationships, our educational journey, our living arrangements, and our vocation.

Most endings are hard. They involve ‘letting go’, finding closure, and saying ‘goodbye’. There are often tears. There is loss. There is grief.

But endings are necessary. In fact, endings bring with them the possibility of new beginnings.

Henry Cloud is his helpful book Necessary Endings says: “Endings are a natural part of life – we either face them, stagnate or die. Without the ability to do endings well, we flounder, stay stuck and fail to reach our goals and dreams.”

What endings have occurred for you recently? What have you had to let go of? What are the losses? What feelings are you experiencing about those endings? How are you different now? What are learning?

You may have heard of the principle of displacement. If you have a plate that is full there is no room for anything new to be added to it. But if you remove some things from your plate, you create the space and the room for new things. That’s what endings do for us.

What necessary endings are coming up for you? Can you sense some nearing?

Have a look at this diagram below. It’s called a ‘Sigmoid Curve’.

This Sigmoid Curve illustrates those transition times in our life. After a season of learning and growth (the purple line), Point A is where we begin to ask ourselves some questions about our current reality and maybe even experience doubts about whether we are where we really want to be. We are feeling unsettled and restless or our motivation is low. It is time for an ending and a new curve to start (the blue line)? Point B is where we may have waited longer than necessary and we ‘hit the wall’ or have a crisis that forces an ending and propels us into rapid change.

We will have many of these curves or cycles in each aspect of our life throughout our lifetime (organizations do too). The key is to discern the endings and navigate them with as much courage, discernment, and wisdom as we can.

Let’s recap our main points:

Life is a journey with many seasons, all involving endings and beginnings.
Feelings of grief, sadness, and loss are normal when we encounter endings.
Endings make new beginnings possible.
Learn to discern the seasons of change in your life.

Finally, don’t go it alone. Find a safe friend or advisor to talk about the possible endings in your life and the inevitable emotions you are experiencing.

That’s all for today. See you next week when we look at Beginnings.

You can watch this episode now on the Soul Food YouTube Channel.

February 3, 2021February 2, 2021 Mark Conner Personal Development, Soul Food

Making the Most of 2021

The new year is well underway. I am sure we are all glad to put 2020 behind us with all its upheaval and disruption. Let’s hope and pray that this year sees greater peace, unity, and progress in our world.

Back in September 2020, we launched Soul Food with Mark Conner, a short, weekly video-cast of encouragement and insight aimed at improving your overall, personal well-being.

Our second series was around the theme of ‘Life Think’. Many people spend more time planning and preparing for their holidays than they do for their life. It doesn’t have to be that way. By investing some quality time in thinking about who we are, where we are heading, and what has meaning for us, we can live lives of greater purpose, joy, and contribution.

There have been 5 episodes so far and we have covered a variety of important topics, each focused on one aspect of life planning. Below is a list of the 5 episodes along with a link to a transcript of the video content. You can watch any or all of these episodes on the Soul Food YouTube Channel, Instagram TV, or the Soul Food Facebook page. Why not listen to an episode you missed or review one that is most relevant for you at the moment.

New episodes of Soul Food are coming your way next week!

December 30, 2020December 30, 2020 Mark Conner Personal Development, Soul Food

Soul Food Episode 18 – Time Out

I am a sports lover – especially basketball and football. In any sports game, from time to time a team will take a time out. A time out is a pause in the action where everyone can take a quick breather …. and think about how the game is going.

It’s the same in life. We can easily become so busy living our life that we don’t take time to STOP … and think about how’s going. Do we know our why? Are we becoming the person we really want to be? Are we heading in the direction we want to be going? If we don’t take a time out, we can tend to drift and our good intentions never become reality.

One of the most helpful habits I have established for myself is a weekly Time Out. It’s a 60-90 minute appointment with myself. I think it’s one of the best uses of your time you could ever make.

So what do you do in a weekly time out?

Firstly, it’s a chance to review the next steps you have set for yourself. A goal set and never looked again at is merely a wish. It’s so easy to drift and forget who we want to be and what we want to accomplish. We can easily be distracted and the urgent squeezes out the important. Reflecting on our next steps regularly ensures we stay on track with where we are headed.

Secondly, it’s an opportunity to review the previous week. Look back over your diary and reflect on what happened – your your relationships, your meetings, your appointments. Gather all your loose ends – messages, emails, tasks, incomplete projects, mail, or anything else in your ‘inbox’.

Finally, it’s a chance to preview the coming week. What commitments do you already have? Is your time going towards what is important? Do you need to make any changes or get released from previous agreements? What steps could you take towards achieving your goals? Do you have rest and recovery time? Time for self-care and fun?

I’ve been doing this for many years now and would say its one of the best habits for effective living. I have done my weekly Time Out on Fridays some years and on Mondays at other times, but right now I like to do it on Saturday or Sunday afternoon. Find what works for you and how often. Maybe every few days is better for you or once a month.

Successful people know their priorities and focus their energy on them. They know what is important and they keep ‘first things first’. They use their time wisely and they ensure that urgent things don’t keep them from doing what is really important.

What’s your purpose? What’s your priority? What’s most important? What next steps are you aiming to accomplish? The issue is not whether next year will be busy but what it will be busy with. Lots of activity does not always equal significant accomplishment. A weekly Time Out helps us keep on track.

Let’s recap our main points:

A regular Time Out is one of the most important life habits.
Take time to review your next steps on a weekly basis.
Take time to review your previous week and prepare for the coming week.
Successful people know their priorities and focus their energy on them.

That’s all for today. Soul Food will be taking a break over the month of January. We’ve done 18 episodes so far. Why not review some of the ones you missed or that were most helpful to you. See you in February!

You can watch a video of this episode on the Soul Food YouTube channel.

For further reading, see Getting Things Done by David Allen, The Essentialist by Greg Kckeown, and First Things First by Stephen Covey.

December 9, 2020November 26, 2020 Mark Conner Personal Development, Soul Food

Soul Food Episode 15 – Your Why

One of my favourite items in the kitchen is the ice cream scoop. What an incredible invention! I don’t know how many bent spoons scattered the planet before some genius came up with this idea. It’s designed NOT to bend and to scoop out even the hardest ice cream effortlessly.

Now there are a lot of other things you could use this item for. You could dig out weeds in your garden with it. You could hammer a nail in. You could use it as a paper weight. Yes, there are multiple uses for an ice cream scoop BUT it functions best when used for the purpose its designer created it for.

In the same way, I believe YOU were created for a purpose. No one is an accident.

Your purpose is your why – why you get up in the morning, why you do what you do … the way you do it. Every human being has an innate longing to be useful – to do something meaningful with their life. Our soul has a need for contribution – a inner yearning to make a difference somehow.

And I find that your why is something you discover as much as something you decide.

You night have heard the motivational statement, “You can be anything you want to be!” Really?? Come on, that’s not really true, is it. I’d rephrase it to say “You can do anything you were created to do!”

As we think about our life it is vital that we realise we have one life to live. This is it. It’s not a dress rehearsal or practice run.

If you’ve ever been to a cemetery and looked at the tombstones, you will have noticed that most people get their name, their birth date, their death date and a little hyphen or dash in-between those two dates. That’s all you get for your entire life! But in many ways what you do in time echoes into eternity. So make this the very best DASH you can!

One simple way to discover your purpose is to ask yourself three questions:

What you are good at? Think about your strengths, your talents, your life experiences, and your unique skills. We can’t do everything but we can all do something.
What you care about? Consider your interests, your concerns, what you enjoy, what excites you, and even what annoys you or makes you angry.
What are the needs of the world? Reflect on the changes that need to be made, the problems yet to be solved, the challenges still being faced.

At the intersection of your answer to those 3 questions is your purpose – your mission, your WHY. It’s worth taking the time to discover that … because when we are living with a sense of purpose we are most effective and most joyful. When we are not pursuing a worthwhile purpose, we are just going through the motions … without really living. We end up being ineffective and frustrated.

Think about your life. What are you living for? Why do you get up in the morning? What’s it all about for you? What’s the dream you are pursuing? What has value and meaning for you?

Let’s recap our main points:

You were created for a purpose.
Our purpose (or our why) is something we discover as much as something we decide.
We have one life to live – let’s give it our best shot!
Living with a sense of purpose increases our effectiveness and our joy.

That’s all for today.

See you next week!

You can watch a video of this episode on the Soul Food YouTube channel.

Recommended Reading: Know Your Why by Ken Costa and Start With Why by Simon Sinek

December 2, 2020April 10, 2022 Mark Conner Personal Development, Soul Food

Soul Food Episode 14 – Life Think

Did you know that many people spend more time thinking about their holidays than they do their life?

Today on Soul Food we start a new series called ‘Life Think’ – taking some time to think about and reflect on our life. After all our ‘soul’ includes not only our feelings, but also our thoughts and our decisions.

Christmas is only just over 3 weeks away and you know what’s after that – the end of this year and the beginning of a new year. This time of year is a good opportunity to pause and reflect on our life … and to think about the direction we are heading.

To do this, I find it helpful to block out some time to have a thorough review of this year.

Of course, like when we are driving, it is important to be primarily looking forward towards where we are heading … BUT every now and then we need to glance into the rearview mirror to see where you have come from.

To do so … ask yourself some important questions:

What went well this year – things you are grateful for, that you can celebrate?
What didn’t go so well – and why? Think about any disappointments or regrets you may have.
Are you okay with how this year unfolded?
How would you live differently if you had this year all over again?
Was there anything missing from your life?
What lessons did you learn this year?
What themes or patterns emerged?

As we have said before, experience isn’t life’s greatest teacher. It’s only by taking time aside for reflection that we can turn experience into wisdom for life. It was Socrates who said, “The unexamined life is not worth living.”

Of course, your past does not determine your future. So don’t get stuck there. However, the better we process our past the better we set ourselves up to create the future we desire.

Let’s recap our main points:

Many people spend more time thinking about their holidays than they do their life.
Make an appointment with yourself and have a thorough review of this year.
Tap into the power of questions.
Your past does not determine your future. You can change!
Reflection turns experience into insight.

That’s all for today.

See you next week!

Recommended Reading: Your Best Year Ever, Living Forward, and Free to Focus by Michael Hyatt. See also 7 Habits of Highly Effective People by Stephen Covey.

You can watch a video of this episode now on the Soul Food YouTube channel.

Here is the full list of episodes in the Life Think series:

Series 3 of Soul Food with Mark Conner is on the topic of Reboot (4 episodes).

NOTE: Be sure to also see Series 1 of Soul Food with Mark Conner on Self Care.