Mark Conner Personal Development, Spirituality

THRIVE

Last year, I shared a 5-part series of messages at Bayside Church in Melbourne around the theme of THRIVE. As we entered the year, our intention wasn’t to merely SURVIVE another year, but to THRIVE. The English word ‘thrive’ means: to flourish, bloom, or prosper. It comes from an Old Norse root worth that means to grow or increase. It’s about a certain vitality and excitement, a sense of joy and enjoyment, a burst of energy, strength, and resilience for the inevitable challenges and pressures of the territory, and an increasing passion and enthusiasm.

In life, “everything belongs”. Everything is connected. This series looked at 5 vital relationships or connections within your world. Like an eco-system, each part contributes to the health and well-being of the whole and the whole contributes to each part. Each aspect has a vital part to play in our overall flourishing.

1. You and God. Each person’s spiritual journey begins with an awareness of God, which can occur early or later in life, and in a variety of different ways. Once we embrace the reality of God, knowing who this God is becomes vital. Thankfully, the God of the Universe is revealed as LOVE and we can learn to live each day as the ‘beloved’. This is a life of grace not one of performance-based acceptance. How freeing and transformational this can be! You can listen to the audio of this message now.

2. You and Your Calling. In this message, I shared some insights for discovering your life purpose, which includes a sense of identity (who you are) and contribution (what you do). Your mission is at the intersection of (1) what you are good at, (2) what you care about, and (3) the needs of the world. You can listen to the audio of this message now.

3. You and Yourself. To thrive in life, we need a healthy relationship with the person we look at in the mirror each day – ourselves. In this message, I shared about the importance of self-acceptance, how to develop personal confidence, the vital quality of integrity, and how to become a more optimistic person. You can listen to the audio of this message now.

4. You and People. Life for people of faith is about loving God and loving people. The first task is often easier than the second! After all, ‘everyone is normal until you get to know them’! In this message, I shared 7 relational principles from the life of Jesus then focused on the 3 BIG relational Cs – handling Criticism, resolving Conflict, and learning to Confront appropriately when necessary. You can listen to the audio of this message now.

5. You and Your Work. In this message, I exposed the myth of sacred/secular dualistic thinking, presented a ‘theology of work’, and shared some insights for finding meaningful work and a job to love. I finished up by acknowledging that there is more to life than work and shared a few thoughts about ‘retirement’. You can listen to the audio of this message now.

As you listen to these messages and reflect on your own life, I hope that you will THRIVE in this new year.

Mark Conner Personal Development, Soul Food

Making the Most of 2021

The new year is well underway. I am sure we are all glad to put 2020 behind us with all its upheaval and disruption. Let’s hope and pray that this year sees greater peace, unity, and progress in our world.

Back in September 2020, we launched Soul Food with Mark Conner, a short, weekly video-cast of encouragement and insight aimed at improving your overall, personal well-being.

Our second series was around the theme of ‘Life Think’. Many people spend more time planning and preparing for their holidays than they do for their life. It doesn’t have to be that way. By investing some quality time in thinking about who we are, where we are heading, and what has meaning for us, we can live lives of greater purpose, joy, and contribution. 

There have been 5 episodes so far and we have covered a variety of important topics, each focused on one aspect of life planning. Below is a list of the 5 episodes along with a link to a transcript of the video content. You can watch any or all of these episodes on the Soul Food YouTube Channel, Instagram TV, or the Soul Food Facebook page. Why not listen to an episode you missed or review one that is most relevant for you at the moment.

  1. Life Think
  2. Your Why
  3. Many Hats
  4. Next Steps
  5. Time Out

New episodes of Soul Food are coming your way next week!

Mark Conner Personal Development, Soul Food

Soul Food Episode 17 – Next Steps

With the new year not far away, a lot of people start talking about ‘new year’s resolutions’. Do they work or don’t they? Are they worth setting or just a waste of time?

Well, research indicates that 25 percent of people abandon their New Year’s resolutions after one week. Another 60 percent of people abandon them within six months. Interestingly, the average person makes the same New Year’s resolutions 10 times without success. Amazingly, even after a heart attack, only 14 percent of patients make any meaningful change around eating or exercise.

What’s the point? Change is hard! And New Year’s resolutions don’t tend to work … but goal setting does!

Psychological studies reveal that the simple act of setting goals then writing down them down increases your likelihood of achieving those goals by 42 percent. There’s power in written goals.

Now I’m sure that some of you LOVE setting goals. If you do, you probably know about SMART Goals.

  • S stands for Specific. They’re not vague or general. 
  • M stands for Measurable. They are quantifiable.
  • A stands for Actionable. You can do something about them.
  • R stands for Realistic. They might be difficult but they are possible.
  • T stands for Time-Bound. They have a deadline – a date for completion.

Saying I want to lose weight is not a SMART goal. But writing down, “I want to reduce my weight to 95 kg by the 31st December” is. That was one of my goals for this year. 

Simply saying I want to get better at helping other leaders is not a SMART goal. But writing down that, “I will complete a Diploma of Professional Coaching by 30th June 2021” is. That’s one of my current goals.

On the other hand, I am sure some of you don’t even like the word GOAL! It all sounds a bit corporate to you. I understand. 

So why not think about your life in terms of your next steps?

Think back through the roles we discussed in last’s week’s episode – the many hats that you wear. What are your current roles? What kind of a person do you want to be in each role? What would you like to accomplish in each area this coming year? Now start thinking about your next steps to ensure that vision you have for your life becomes more of a reality this coming year. 

With little or no effort, we tend to settle into old patterns and habits. It takes a great degree of effort to escape the inertia of the comfort zone. That’s why next steps are so important. They motivate us to move forward, to leave familiar, comfortable terrain and explore new frontiers.

One other insight … best-selling author Jim Collins encourages business leaders to set 5 new goals for their business at the beginning of each year … and decide to STOP doing 5 things. The magic is in deciding what to STOP. You can’t keep adding to your life year after year. You have to STOP doing some things to create the space, time, and energy to ADD new things 

Let’s recap our main points:

  1. Carefully crafting written goals is more effective than making New Year’s resolutions. 
  2. Consider what you want to STOP doing in order to make room for new things in your life.
  3. Set some compelling next steps for each role in your life – ones that you will be excited to work towards.

That’s all for today. 

See you next week!

You can watch this episode on the Soul Food YouTube Channel.

Recommending Reading: Your Best Year Yet by Michael Hyatt and Getting Things Done by David Allen.

Mark Conner Personal Development, Soul Food

Soul Food Episode 15 – Your Why

One of my favourite items in the kitchen is the ice cream scoop. What an incredible invention! I don’t know how many bent spoons scattered the planet before some genius came up with this idea. It’s designed NOT to bend and to scoop out even the hardest ice cream effortlessly. 

Now there are a lot of other things you could use this item for. You could dig out weeds in your garden with it. You could hammer a nail in. You could use it as a paper weight. Yes, there are multiple uses for an ice cream scoop BUT it functions best when used for the purpose its designer created it for. 

In the same way, I believe YOU were created for a purpose. No one is an accident. 

Your purpose is your why – why you get up in the morning, why you do what you do … the way you do it. Every human being has an innate longing to be useful – to do something meaningful with their life. Our soul has a need for contribution – a inner yearning to make a difference somehow. 

And I find that your why is something you discover as much as something you decide. 

You night have heard the motivational statement, “You can be anything you want to be!” Really?? Come on, that’s not really true, is it. I’d rephrase it to say “You can do anything you were created to do!” 

As we think about our life it is vital that we realise we have one life to live. This is it. It’s not a dress rehearsal or practice run. 

If you’ve ever been to a cemetery and looked at the tombstones, you will have noticed that most people get their name, their birth date, their death date and a little hyphen or dash in-between those two dates. That’s all you get for your entire life! But in many ways what you do in time echoes into eternity. So make this the very best DASH you can! 

One simple way to discover your purpose is to ask yourself three questions:

  1. What you are good at? Think about your strengths, your talents, your life experiences, and your unique skills. We can’t do everything but we can all do something.
  2. What you care about? Consider your interests, your concerns, what you enjoy, what excites you, and even what annoys you or makes you angry.
  3. What are the needs of the world? Reflect on the changes that need to be made, the problems yet to be solved, the challenges still being faced.

At the intersection of your answer to those 3 questions is your purpose – your mission, your WHY. It’s worth taking the time to discover that … because when we are living with a sense of purpose we are most effective and most joyful. When we are not pursuing a worthwhile purpose, we are just going through the motions … without really living. We end up being ineffective and frustrated. 

Think about your life. What are you living for? Why do you get up in the morning? What’s it all about for you? What’s the dream you are pursuing? What has value and meaning for you?

Let’s recap our main points:

  1. You were created for a purpose.
  2. Our purpose (or our why) is something we discover as much as something we decide. 
  3. We have one life to live – let’s give it our best shot!
  4. Living with a sense of purpose increases our effectiveness and our joy.

That’s all for today. 

See you next week!

You can watch a video of this episode on the Soul Food YouTube channel.

Recommended Reading: Know Your Why by Ken Costa and Start With Why by Simon Sinek

Mark Conner Personal Development, Soul Food

Soul Food Episode 14 – Life Think

Did you know that many people spend more time thinking about their holidays than they do their life?

Today on Soul Food we start a new series called ‘Life Think’ – taking some time to think about and reflect on our life. After all our ‘soul’ includes not only our feelings, but also our thoughts and our decisions. 

Christmas is only just over 3 weeks away and you know what’s after that – the end of this year and the beginning of a new year. This time of year is a good opportunity to pause and reflect on our life … and to think about the direction we are heading.

To do this, I find it helpful to block out some time to have a thorough review of this year. 

Of course, like when we are driving, it is important to be primarily looking forward towards where we are heading … BUT every now and then we need to glance into the rearview mirror to see where you have come from. 

To do so … ask yourself some important questions: 

  1. What went well this year – things you are grateful for, that you can celebrate?
  2. What didn’t go so well – and why? Think about any disappointments or regrets you may have. 
  3. Are you okay with how this year unfolded? 
  4. How would you live differently if you had this year all over again?
  5. Was there anything missing from your life?
  6. What lessons did you learn this year? 
  7. What themes or patterns emerged? 

As we have said before, experience isn’t life’s greatest teacher. It’s only by taking time aside for reflection that we can turn experience into wisdom for life. It was Socrates who said, “The unexamined life is not worth living.”

Of course, your past does not determine your future. So don’t get stuck there. However, the better we process our past the better we set ourselves up to create the future we desire. 

Let’s recap our main points:

  1. Many people spend more time thinking about their holidays than they do their life.
  2. Make an appointment with yourself and have a thorough review of this year.
  3. Tap into the power of questions.
  4. Your past does not determine your future. You can change!
  5. Reflection turns experience into insight. 

That’s all for today. 

See you next week!

Recommended Reading: Your Best Year Ever, Living Forward, and Free to Focus by Michael Hyatt. See also 7 Habits of Highly Effective People by Stephen Covey. 

You can watch a video of this episode now on the Soul Food YouTube channel.

Here is the full list of episodes in the Life Think series:

  1. Life Think
  2. Your Why
  3. Many Hats
  4. Next Steps
  5. Time Out
  6. Endings
  7. Beginnings
  8. In-Between
  9. Halftime
  10. Parallel Careers
  11. Habits
  12. Routines
  13. 90 Days

Series 3 of Soul Food with Mark Conner is on the topic of Reboot (4 episodes).

NOTE: Be sure to also see Series 1 of Soul Food with Mark Conner on Self Care.