Category: Personal Development

As we prepare to move into a new year, I am sure we all face various circumstances that are beyond our control. Sometimes what we need is actually not more power but more clarity. Three times in the Gospels, Jesus was approached by someone obviously needing healing and he said to them, "What do you want me to do for you?" Jesus assumed nothing but asked them to declare what they wanted. Maybe their greatest need was clarity. What do you really want?

Not what do other people want for you? We all know that many other people have a wonderful plan for our lives! What do YOU want? What are the desires God has put within your heart?

Although we are to live with a servant heart, we can't live our life for others or we will become dependent on their approval, constantly looking for their affirmation. We are to live for an audience of one and that One (Jesus) asks us to consider what we want. 

The end of another year provides us with a perfect opportunity to reflect on the answer to that question – one that only you can answer.

So what do you want?

Getting clear on that has a ripple affect on everything else in our life, including our priorities and our decisions.

“Take delight in the Lord, and he will give you the desires of your heart.” ‭‭Psalm‬ ‭37:4‬ ‭NIV‬‬

Do you feel like a chapter is coming to an end in some area of your life? Maybe that is just what is needed in order for God to begin something new for you?

Life is lived in seasons and seasons are made up of endings and new beginnings. This coming weekend at CityLife, I will share a message with some insights into how to navigate these transitions well, which includes learning to let go of the past and move forward into the future God has for us. 

Quotes

• "There is a time for everything and a season for every activity under the heavens.” Ecclesiates 3:1
• “True life success is doing the very best you can at where you are now then not being afraid to end that and take the next step. The endings and the great beginnings are somehow linked together. You can’t have one without the other.” Henry Cloud in Necssary Endings.
• “Great is the art of beginning, but greater is the art of ending.” Henry Wadsworth Longfellow
• “Every new beginning comes from some other beginning’s end.” Roman philosopher Seneca
• “On the spiritual journey … each time a door closes, the rest of the world opens up. All we need to do is stop pounding on the door that just closed, turn around – which puts the door behind us – and welcome the largeness of life that now lies open to our souls.” Parker Palmer

“What is God’s will for my life?” This is probably the most commonly asked question by Christians today. Paul addresses this matter (Eph.5:17-19) and tells us that wise people know God’s will, seize opportunities and invest their time wisely. Foolish people don’t know God’s will, they miss opportunities and they waste their time. God does have a will – a sense of purpose; intentions and desires; thoughts and plans. He also calls us to be a part of his purpose (2 Tim.1:9). The good news is that God wants us to know His will so we can then get on with doing it. He does not want to hide it from us (Col.1:9. Jn.10:27).

Wrong Approaches to God’s Will

Knowing God’s will can seem difficult and confusing at times. Often this is because of wrong approaches or misconceptions we have about God’s will. Let’s look at some of them:

1. A Fatalistic Approach. This view says, “What will be, will be.” Some people just ‘resign’ themselves to God’s will. This view overemphasises the sovereignty of God and downplays human responsibility. It denies or minimises the fact that there are choices that we make and that we are therefore responsible for our lives. Yes, there are things beyond our control either caused by God or other people. But we don’t have to be victims of the circumstances or other people’s choices. We are responsible beings. Trust in God’s Providence but don’t believe in ‘fate’.

2. A Negative Approach. Some people believe that God’s will is meant to make them miserable and depressed. God will make you marry someone you don’t like or send you somewhere you don’t want to go. The truth is that God’s will is ‘good, pleasing and perfect’ (it can’t be improved on). God’s will is an expression of His love. He knows more about what will fulfil you and make you happy than you do. Yes, there may be both problems to solve and sacrifices to make but his will is good (Rom.12:1-2. Jer.29:11).

3. A Frustrating Approach. Some people become frustrated with God’s will because they believe that God has some super-detailed plan for every aspect of their lives that they have to try to discover. They think they must try to find the next step God wants them to take every moment of the day so as to not please Him. The truth is that God is a very empowering God. He gave Adam and Eve an overall purpose to live for. He also gave them some specific boundaries but he then gave them freedom of choice within those (Gen.2:15-17). God treats us the same way. He has a general purpose for our lives. He then communicates any ‘limitations’ or areas that are restricted to us (notice that the 10 commandments are mostly ‘what not to do’). Within these parameters, we are free to choose what we want to do. There is more freedom in God’s will than we realise. More often than not, there are many options we could choose from, all of which are in God’s will.

4. A Fearful Approach. Sometimes people are so worried about missing Gods will or making a wrong decision that they live paralyzed by fear. Or people live in fear because they have failed in the past and think that they can now no longer be in the will of God. The truth is that a bad decision doesn’t ruin God’s will for your life. Yes, choices have consequences but that doesn’t necessarily mean that your whole life has fallen apart. The most important thing is where you are headed today. That’s more important than where you have been. God is the God of the “second chance”. Ask Jonah. Start afresh today and you can have a new end.

5. A Mystical Approach. Some people think that being in God’s will is dependent on some special feeling, impression or sensation. They want God’s leading as to what clothes they should wear or where they should sit in church! The truth is that God’s will is very practical and it doesn’t depend on some mystical feeling.

God’s Guidance Principles

So, what are God’s ‘navigation systems’ to guide His people? Let’s consider five of the ways God uses to guide us:

1. God’s Word – the Bible. God’s Word contains God’s will! As we read and meditate on the Scriptures, we will begin to think like God thinks. No other means of guidance should contradict the inerrant Word of God. Nothing He calls you to do will contradict the Word. His Word is a ‘light to our path’ (Ps.119:105). God gives us enough light to see to make the next step but not always enough to see the entire journey. You will arrive safely if you watch the lights on the road and following God’s leading. However, if you don’t know the Word, you may be deceived. God guarantees success in life to those who meditate upon and obey his commands and principles for life (Josh.1:8. 2 Tim.3:16-17). God’s Word contains principles for every area of our life. Unfortunately, we often tend to live our life without first reading the ‘instruction manual’, which often results in unnecessary mistakes and detours (Hos.4:6). Make a regular habit of reading God’s Word and listening to it being taught (1 Pet.4:11. 1 Thess.2:13).

2. Wisdom. God created wisdom before He created the world (Prov.8). In the book of Proverbs, we are encouraged, if not urged, to get wisdom (Prov.4:7). God wants to help us develop wisdom, which is the proper application of knowledge and understanding. God gave us a brain – we should use it! He won’t make all the decisions for us. He wants us to use “common sense”. Ask God for wisdom (Jas.1:5), look in the Bible for it, do personal research and listen to wise counsellors or advisors (Prov.15:22; 19:20; 20:18). Every decision needs careful planning and thinking through. Jesus taught the importance of wise planning and decision-making (Lk.14:28-32). Consider your options and the likely consequences of each. Then choose the best option and commit to making that decision work.

3. Circumstances. Circumstances define the context of every decision. God can use circumstances to direct us, but never in isolation from other guidance factors. Don’t let circumstances alone dictate your decision. It’s one way of guidance. You can’t be led by it alone. Gideon made use of a ‘fleece’ and God confirmed his will through this means because of Gideon’s fear and lack of faith in what God had already told him (Judges 6:36-40). We need to be very cautious in this type of approach to guidance (“If this happens, then I’ll know it is God’s will).

4. The Inner Witness of the Spirit. God has sent the Holy Spirit to guide and lead us (Rom.8:14). Pray and commit all of your ways to the Lord, asking for His guidance and direction. God wants to reveal His thoughts and feelings to us. He does this through His Word but also through the person of the Holy Spirit. He has been sent to be our friend and our helper. He also gives us his peace to rule in our heart and mind (Phil.4:6-7).

5. The Supernatural. God sometimes uses “special revelation” to guide us. This includes things such as dreams and visions (Acts 2:17-21), angelic visitation, an audible voice and prophecy (1 Cor.14:3). God uses the prophets to speak to His people and reveal His heart. We should not take prophecy lightly but we should also ‘test’ each word (1 Thess.5:19-24). We can be inspired and aided by the prophetic word (1 Tim. 6:12. 2 Tim. 4:7. 1 Cor.9:26). In God’s time he will bring His will to pass in your life (Ecc.3:11). Never give up! Pray them through! Understand the “time principle”. God’s word will be tested and so will your faith in it (Ps.105:17-19).

God never guides by one of these things alone, always by more than one. Like “lights” that need lining up, God established the principle of two or three ‘witnesses’ (Dt.17:6. 2 Cor.13:1). The bigger the decision, the larger the risk, the more witnesses you need lined up. Most errors occur when you make too much of one of these principles. Overemphasis will kill you. There is not one key to knowing the whole will of God or making wise decisions. Make sure things are in agreement. Don’t move until they are.

Our journey through life is nothing but a process of decision-making. Every day is a day of decisions. Our decisions greatly affect our lives. In fact, where you are today is largely a result of the decisions you made yesterday. Where you will be tomorrow will be a result of the decisions you make today. Make every effort to understand God’s will for your life. Seize opportunities and invest your time wisely to pursuing God’s will for your life.

Sample Discussion Questions

1. Discuss the concept of being in the ‘centre of God’s will’. What does this mean and is it a helpful concept?
2. Discuss the five ‘navigation systems’ God uses to guide us. Share stories or personal examples of how God used one or more of them to guide you.
3. Discuss the concept of using ‘fleeces’ (see Judges 6:36-40). Is this an appropriate way to seek God’s guidance? What are the dangers of this approach?
4. Ask people to share a decision that they made that they wish they hadn’t. What did they learn from it? How did it help them in future decision-making situations?
5. Reflect on the Wesleyan Quadrilateral as a grid for wise decision-making.
6. Some people are too dependent on ‘logic’ and ‘objective’ aspects of decision-making while others are too dependent on ‘feelings’ and ‘subjective’ aspects of decision-making. What are some ways we can achieve balance between these two extremes?

The new year begins in only 5 weeks time, ready or not!

I am sure you have a long list of things to do before then and I don't want to stress you out by adding to that list. However, here are 5 very important things that are well worth the investment of your time:

1. Reflect

Experience isn't the greatest teacher, only experience that is reflected on. Reflection helps us gain insight from our life so we don't repeat the same patterns and fail to learn the lessons God has for us. Take some time to reflect on your life, on the year that is about to finish, on what God may be saying to you, and about the direction your life is going.

Read also: Three Great Questions to Start the Day and Pause and Reflect for some more thoughts and ideas about reflection.

2. Evaluate

Take some time to prayerfully evaluate your own personal effectiveness this year.

• What went well? What didn't go well? What did you learn?
• Consider your priorities and your use of time. What do you need to do more of? What do you need to do less of? What will you do differently next year?
• How balanced is your lifestyle? Consider your energy level, your family, your spiritual life, your social life, and recreation.
• What areas do you need to grow or change in?

Plan any necessary adjustments or changes.

3. Relate

Life is about loving God and loving people. Spend some extra time with the important people in your world.

• Encouragement – express appreciation for who they are.
• Feedback – what have they done well
• Coaching – ask in what ways you can improve?
• Reconciliation – who do you need to rebuild a relatiuonship with before the year ends? Address and/or resolve any outstanding issues.

See also Connecting Skills.

4. Plan

Think about the year ahead - 2016 and start doing some planning.

• Holidays – plan them now. Do something different and make it the best yet. Shut down, turn off and enjoy your God, your friends, and your family.
• Major events or experiences.
• Clean your office – make an appointment with yourself. Block out plenty of time for this. Sort through your filing cabinet(s), shelves, and desk drawers. Clean out your email folders. Throw away as much as possible. Get your 2016 diary up to date.

Check out: Time Management Tips and also Life Planning for a series of BLOG posts to help you plan for your best year ever.

5. Play

Work without play makes for very dull people. Jesus came to give us "life" and life to the full – not meetings, programs, projects or tasks, although life includes these. Stop and smell the roses. Take some time out. Do something fun. Laugh. Go for a walk. See a movie. Cook dinner for some friends. 

Have you ever been on a scary roller-coaster ride? Your blood pressure is up, your heart is racing fast, and your stomach is feeling wheezy! In the midst of the thrill of it all, the joy is in knowing how it will end … as you safely return to terra firma. Life can be a lot like that. There are ups and downs, highs and lows, moments of stress and moments of peace. The joy is in knowing what’s ahead.

Jesus’ brother James puts it this way:

Dear brothers and sisters, when troubles come your way, consider it an opportunity for great joy. For you know that when your faith is tested, your endurance has a chance to grow. So let it grow, for when your endurance is a fully developed, you will be a perfect and complete, needing nothing. James 1:2-4. NLT

James tells us to consider it an opportunity for joy when we face troubles and trials of various kinds. Why? Because we know that the testing of our faith develops endurance. Endurance must finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything.

What we need during this time is “wisdom” – an ability to see and respond to life’s situations from God’s perspective. Ask God and he will give it to you generously. When you ask, believe and don’t doubt. Doubters are like a wave of the sea, blown and tossed by the wind. Double-minded unstable people won’t receive anything from the Lord.

Lessons:

1. You can’t be mature without having a spirit of endurance that refuses to quit or give up. This enduring quality is the mark of maturity. Once you have this, you are complete, not lacking anything. Immaturity demands for everything to go well all the time and for no delays!

2. The only thing that produces this kind of endurance is the testing of our faith. Things like delays, contradictions, unanswered prayers and disappointments. Untested faith will not develop this important quality.

3. Therefore, we should so value endurance that we consider it a joy when we go through troubles that test our faith! Joy is only possible if we keep the end in mind (Hebrews 12:1-2), just like that scary roller coaster ride. The joy comes from knowing how it will end!

4. What we need during these times is “wisdom” – seeing and responding to life from God’s perspective. Thankfully, God offers to gives us plenty of it if we simply ask him. But don’t doubt when you ask.

5. Always pray and ask in faith without allowing doubt to settle in your heart. Doubting people are double-minded and unstable. God doesn’t answer this kind of person’s prayers.

If you’re feeling afraid or uncertain right now, hang on. God is in control and he is holding you in the palm of his hand. He’ll give you all the wisdom you need. Simply ask him for it.

One day, an old professor of the School of Public Management in France, was invited to lecture on the topic of “Efficient Time Management” in front of a group of 15 executive managers representing the largest, most successful companies in America. The lecture was one in a series of 5 lectures conducted in one day, and the old professor was given 1 hr to lecture.

Standing in front of this group of elite managers, who were willing to write down every word that would come out of the famous professor’s mouth, the professor slowly met eyes with each manager, one by one, and finally said, “we are going to conduct an experiment”.

From under the table that stood between the professor and the listeners, the professor pulled out a big glass jar and gently placed it in front of him. Next, he pulled out from under the table a bag of stones, each the size of a tennis ball, and placed the stones one by one in the jar. He did so until there was no room to add another stone in the jar. Lifting his gaze to the managers, the professor asked, “Is the jar full?” The managers replied, “Yes”.

The professor paused for a moment, and replied, “Really?”

Once again, he reached under the table and pulled out a bag full of pebbles. Carefully, the professor poured the pebbles in and slightly rattled the jar, allowing the pebbles to slip through the larger stones, until they settled at the bottom. Again, the professor lifted his gaze to his audience and asked, “Is the jar full?”

At this point, the managers began to understand his intentions. One replied, “apparently not!”

“Correct”, replied the old professor, now pulling out a bag of sand from under the table. Cautiously, the professor poured the sand into the jar. The sand filled up the spaces between the stones and the pebbles.

Yet again, the professor asked, “Is the jar full?”

Without hesitation, the entire group of students replied in unison, “NO!”

“Correct”, replied the professor. And as was expected by the students, the professor reached for the pitcher of water that was on the table, and poured water in the jar until it was absolutely full. The professor now lifted his gaze once again and asked, “What great truth can we surmise from this experiment?”

With his thoughts on the lecture topic, one manager quickly replied, “We learn that as full as our schedules may appear, if we only increase our effort, it is always possible to add more meetings and tasks.”

“No”, replied the professor. The great truth that we can conclude from this experiment is:

If we don’t put all the larger stones in the jar first, we will never be able to fit all of them later.

The auditorium fell silent, as every manager processed the significance of the professor’s words in their entirety.

The old professor continued, “What are the large stones in your life? Health? Family? Friends? Your goals? Doing what you love? Fighting for a Cause? Taking time for yourself?”

What we must remember is that it is most important to include the larger stones in our lives, because if we don’t do so, we are likely to miss out on life altogether. If we give priority to the smaller things in life (pebbles & sand), our lives will be filled up with less important things, leaving little or no time for the things in our lives that are most important to us. Because of this, never forget to ask yourself,

What are the Large Stones in your Life? And once you identify them, be sure to put them first in your “Jar of Life”.

With a warm wave of his hand, the professor bid farewell to the managers, and slowly walked out of the room. 

[Story Source: The Jar of Life]

In Matthew 6:25-33, Jesus teaches us to seek first God's kingdom. We are to live one day at a time not worrying about the future. Jesus is not telling us to avoid thinking or planning about the future, but simply to not allow worry, anxiety or undue concern to enter our minds. God gave us life and he can provide our basic necessities. Birds work hard, yes, but they don't worry. Worry is useless. It is a characteristic of the pagans not of the believer. It is essentially a mistrust in God.

The issue is one of “priority” – what is first in our lives?

There are many “first things” in the Bible:

• Giving God the first part of every day – spending time with God in prayer and his Word.
• Giving God the first day of every week – putting Him first and gathering with believers on the “Lord's Day”.
• Giving God first 10% of our income – honouring Him with the “first fruits” of all our increase (Proverbs 3:9) and demonstrating our dependence and trust in God for all our needs.
• Giving God the first part of our time, gifts and abilities – being a good steward and investing your best into the kingdom of God.
• For husbands, loving their wives as Christ loved the church.

What's really important? Define your “big rocks”. Getting our priorities right is essential. What are the highest priorities in your life? What are your values? Unless we identify what we value most and put our everyday lives in line with those values, we will live reactively.

Are you putting 'first things first'?

Sometimes we face "Heartbreak Hill." In the Boston Marathon, there is a legendary obstacle called Heartbreak Hill. Starting at mile thirteen of the Boston race course, there are a number of hills, climaxing at mile nineteen with Heartbreak Hill. It's the longest, steepest hill in the race. What makes this hill even worse is that world-class runners "hit the wall" around mile eighteen or nineteen. That is, their bodies have depleted the glycogen stored in the muscles. That glycogen has been replaced with lactic acid. 

The muscles are screaming for oxygen. And when you hit the wall, you just feel like you're going to die. Heartbreak Hill tests runners to the very core of their determination and their strength.

There are Heartbreak Hills in life. Life is not on a level grade. We have problems and at times we face Heartbreak Hill.

                                                        Source: Craig Brian Larson, "Strong to the Finish," Preaching Today