Mark Conner Current Issues, Personal Development

Freedom from Depression

Depression has been called “the common cold of the emotions”. Depression simply means “low mood”. Every one has time when they feel down or experience low mood but sometimes those feelings can linger for days, weeks, even months at a time. This can be quite debilitating, especially when others around you don’t fully understand what is going on.

The biblical stories include people’s experiences with the full range of human emotions, including depression. Famous people such as Moses, Job, David and Jeremiah went through bouts of depression, even cursing the day they were born. One of the more well known experiences of depression is the great prophet Elijah. He was so down that he had even become suicidal.

God shows us some excellent counselling skills as he walks Elijah through this dark valley of depressing emotions. I unpack these more fully in a BLOG series I did in 2017 called “Dealing with Depression“. Take some time to read through those posts, especially if you are facing depressing feelings currently. It will also help you to be a better support to people around you who may be experiencing low mood at the moment.

To listen to a message on “Freedom from Depression”, which was part of a teaching series at CityLife Church back in 2007 called “Prison Break”, visit the Mark Conner’s new podcast.

The full content of this message on freedom from depression, as well as teaching on freedom from other common challenges such as anger, worry, fear, rejection, addictions and spiritual bondages, purchase a copy of Mark’s best-selling book Prison Break – Finding Personal Freedom from WORD in Australia or Amazon internationally.

Mark Conner News, Personal Development, Preaching, Web/Tech

New Podcast

I am excited to announce a new podcast of my teaching messages. This podcast is available directly from Podbean (including on their mobile Apps) or from Apple’s iTunes (including all iTunes Apps) or from within Spotify (if you are a subscriber). It is not possible to publish podcasts on Google Play from Australia yet.

Every week or so a message will be published, selected from recent messages I have spoken at various churches or conferences, as well as some messages given over the years when I was at the Senior Minister at CityLife Church (1995-2016) and more recently as a teaching team member for Bayside Church (2018 onwards) in Melbourne.

I also intend on including some conversational podcasts on a variety of relevant issues and topics in the near future.

Be sure to subscribe so you are notified of recent releases.

Finally, you might like to visit the Media section of my web site where you will find video messages and some of my music.

Enjoy!

Mark Conner

Mark Conner Family, General Interest, Personal Development, Relationships

The Blessing of Giving

Jesus said and did many things, a lot of which is recorded in the four Gospels of the New Testament. But not everything Jesus said and did was written down (see John 21:25). The apostle Paul rarely quoted Jesus, but one statement that must have been passed on to him through ‘oral tradition’ (it’s not recorded in the Gospels) is Jesus saying this:

“It is more blessed to give than receive.” NIV

“You are far happier giving then getting.” The Message Bible

“More blessing come from giving than receiving.” CEV

Acts 20:35.

Paul used this statement as the foundation for his life of generosity. In the city of Ephesus, where he had lived and ministered for three years, he had worked hard with his own hands – to meet his own needs and to help other people (see Acts 20:32-38).

Jesus is saying that we are far happier, better off, fortunate, and blessed when we are in the giving mode than the receiving mode. This sound unnatural, doesn’t it, even counter-cultural!?

Well-known Jewish psychologist, Martin Seligman, an influential leader in the positive psychology movement, tells a story in his book on Learned Optimism about lecturing students in university on the subject of happiness. He gave them an assignment of doing two things during the week – (1) something pleasurable for themselves (e.g. eat a hot fudge sundae, or see a movie) and (2) something for others that had no personal benefit (e.g. work in a soup kitchen, give flowers to someone, or help an elderly person across the street). They were to measure their emotions before, during, and after these two seperate events.

The students returned from their assignments and unanimously noted that when doing something pleasurable for themselves there was a sudden spike of positive emotion that quickly faded away. However, when they did something for others, their positive emotions built up toward the event and then lingered long after.

They could have saved all the work by just listening to Jesus! Yes, it is true – we are far happier when we are giving out to others than when we are self-obsessed. It’s a fact of life.

In what ways are we happier giving than receiving? That was the subject of my message at One Community Church last weekend where I spoke on this teaching of Jesus. You might want to listen to the audio online (26 minutes) OR check out my new podcast. Enjoy!

Finally, may you find great joy in looking out for others this coming week and serving them in love. You will be glad you did.

Mark Conner Leadership, Personal Development

Learning to Retreat

A few years ago, TIME magazine published an article stating that distraction was the pre-eminent condition of our time. Not only are we busy, we are pulled in multiple directions constantly by distractions of all kinds. The antidote? Mindfulness.

Mindfulness is about taking time to be still, to reflect, to meditate, to contemplate, to be quiet, and to think. Mindfulness is being encouraged by experts in the fields of sport, medicine, health and well being, and religion.

For people of faith, it is interesting to note that meditation has roots that go way back to Isaac.

Genesis 24:63. One evening as Isaac was walking and meditating in the fields, he looked up and saw the camels coming … NLT

I am sure Isaac had plenty to do. He inherited great wealth from his father Abraham in the form of livestock and he had a large household to manage. Yet, he took time to get out of the house simply to meditate.

Jesus did the same.

Matthew 14:23. After Jesus dismissed the crowd, he went up on a mountainside by himself to pray. Later that night, he was there alone.

By retreating regularly, Jesus was able to replenish himself from the demands of his work in helping people and to gain perspective for his life.

It is so easy to be driven by the clock, which is all about speed, and fail to look at the compass, which is about the direction we are going in.

Here are some retreat ideas:

  1. Begin each day with a few moments of stillness in order to prepare yourself for what is ahead.
  2. End each day with some time of reflection. Ask yourself some key questions. What went well? What didn’t? What did you learn? What energised you? What drained you? How could tomorrow be different?
  3. Make an appointment with yourself at the beginning of each week to have a Weekly Review. Take time to reflect on the previous week and prepare for the coming week.
  4. Take a half or full day each month to retreat.
  5. Have a quarterly review time (every 90 days).
  6. Take time to have an annual review. After all, experience isn’t the best teacher. Only experience that is reflected on becomes insight for positive change.

Let’s face it – retreating is not easy, especially for activistic types like myself. It’s a little like stopping to fill your car up with petrol on a long trip. While you do so, all of those trucks, caravans, and slow drivers that you have been meticulously passing are now passing you! How annoying. Yet if you don’t stop, you won’t make the distance.

Is it time for you to retreat?

P.S. This habit is one of five habits I share in my recently published book How to Avoid Burnout: Five Habits for Healthy Living. Why not pick up a copy today.

P.S.S. To listen to a recent message summarising these five habits, check out the Discovery Church podcast of my message given there on Sunday morning 4th February.

Mark Conner General Interest, Personal Development

Decisions – How to Know God’s Will For Your Life

Many years ago, when Nicole and I were working for my dad, Kevin Conner, who was then the Senior Minister of Waverley Christian Fellowship (now CityLife Church), we had a number of people advise us to consider moving away for a few years. They thought it would be good for me to get out from under my ‘dad’s shadow’ and grow to become my own person.

We gave it serious thought over a few months and even had conversations with two churches interstate. But we weren’t sure. What was the right thing to do? Should we go? Should we stay? What was God’s will?

If you have ever had a similar situation, then you are normal! Even the great apostle Paul had times where he was trying to figure out his next step – something that took time, as well as trial and error, and a few closed doors before the right one opened up (see Acts 16:6-10).

There are many wrong approaches to this whole idea of God’s will – including approaches that are fatalistic, negative, frustrating, fearful, and overly mystical! Thankfully, we have been given a good GPS – ‘God’s Positioning System’ – to help us on our journey. It includes the Bible, wisdom, circumstances, the inner witness of the Holy Spirit, and at times supernatural indicators. They bigger the decision and the greater the risk, the more we need multiple ‘lights’ to line up.

Our journey through life is a process of decision-making. Every day is a day of decisions. Where we are today is in many ways a result of the decisions we made yesterday and where we will be tomorrow will be influenced by the decisions we make today. Choose wisely! Choose life.

I unpacked this whole idea of knowing God’s will recently in a two part teaching series at Bayside Church in Melbourne. If you’d like to listen to it, then here are the video links:

By the way, we never did leave … and we are sure glad we didn’t. Beware of people who like to project their good intentions on to your life. Take time to be still, to read your own heart, and to know what is best for you and your future.

Enjoy … and all the best for a bold and courageous 2019!

Mark Conner Personal Development, Travel

A Hot Air Ballooning Adventure

Back in 2014, Nicole and I had the opportunity to be part of a tour of Turkey and Greece. It was a fascinating experience and we loved exploring the history of these iconic places.

One of the highlights was a visit to Cappadocia in central Turkey. Cappadocia is an ancient name which means ‘land of beautiful horses’. Most people who live there are farmers or merchants. This area was once the homeland of the ancient Hittites (19-11th century BC). The biblical character, Abraham, bought a burial site here from Uriah the Hittite. There are also church buildings here in caves dating back to as early as the 2-3rd century AD, with frescoes from the 11-12th century AD. This World Heritage area is magnificent, with fairy chimneys and pillars, river valleys and cliffs, all shaped by volcanic eruptions and erosion over the centuries.

An optional extra on our tour was to get up at 4.00 am one morning to go hot air ballooning in the Goreme Valley. Confession time – I am afraid of heights! So I quickly put that option out of my mind. But then another tour member told me about their experience of hot air ballooning in the Yarra Valley and how amazing it was, so … [gulp] … I decided to go for it.

As it turned out, there were about 100 hot air balloons taking off that morning. Each hot air balloon was attached to a large basket for passengers which held up to 24 people. I stood right in the middle! After a gentle launch, we gradually ascended to our target of 500 metres high but ended up going 1,000 metres above sea level! The trip was incredibly smooth and peaceful, and the views were breathtaking as we saw the sunrise across the horizon (see the brief video below).

This turned out to be one of the most enjoyable and sensational experiences I have ever had in my entire life. The thrill, the exhilaration, the views. It was surreal. I am so glad I did it. Yet, to think that I almost missed out on it … because of my fears.

To me, this experience, and the pictures I have to mark the memories, speaks of adventure, freedom, risk, moving out of your comfort zone, letting go, and soaring to new horizons.

May this year be one of pushing through our fears and the barriers in our minds to experience things we have never dreamt of.

P.S. I took the photo above on my iPhone (using panorama mode) from the hot air balloon, as well as the one on the front page of this web site. For more information on hot air ballooning in Cappadocia, visit the Tour and Leisure web site.

Mark Conner Personal Development

Discovering Your Life Purpose (Part 2)

As you take time to discover your life purpose (see part 1), here are a few ideas to help in your exploration:

Your Desires

Ask yourself:

  1. What do you enjoy doing? 
  2. What do you get excited about?
  3. What energises you?
  4. What makes you angry? What annoys you? For instance, if you get irritated by disorganisation maybe your gift to the world is to help create a little more order. If you get ticked by the boring and the predictable maybe you are the one to bring some creative freshness and innovation to our world. If you are upset by injustice, maybe you are one of those called to champion a more just society.
  5. What do you desire?
  6. Who are your heroes and the people you admire? Maybe they are mirrors of the kind of person you are to be.

Your Abilities

Abilities are the natural talents or skills you were born with or acquired through education or life experience.

  1. What are your strengths? 
  2. What are you good at?
  3. What is your best contribution?
  4. Where are you most effective?
  5. Are you musical, creative, planning, building, organising, team building or good with finances?

Continue reading “Discovering Your Life Purpose (Part 2)” →

Mark Conner Personal Development

Discovering Your Life Purpose (Part 1)

Take a moment to think back to when you were a child (for some of us, that is a little further back than for others!). Question: “What did you want to be when you grew up?” Maybe you dreamt of being an astronaut or a scientist or a movie star? We all had ideas of what the future might be. Sometimes those dreams become a reality, while at other times they don’t. Some of us are really clear on who and what we want to be. Others aren’t quite sure or our desires change over time.

As a kid, I wasn’t sure what I wanted to be when I grew up. I had a neighbor who had lots of pets so early on I wanted to be a naturalist. I built myself a wooden ‘run’ in the backyard where I kept a few long-necked turtles and blue tongue lizards as pets. But after they either escaped or died, I lost interest in that pursuit. Then I wanted to be an architect. I was really good at three-dimensional perspective drawings but my handwriting wasn’t that neat. Then I wanted to be a cabinet maker. But after a week of work experience while in high school at a cabinet making shop, the fascination of that career died, mainly due to me spending hours sweeping up wood shavings up every day!

During my studies, I dabbled in many different jobs – working for a building renovator, a bookbinder, and a printer. Then eventually I ended up working in jobs involving music, youth work, and ultimately in various church leadership roles.

Whatever our story may be, one thing we ALL have in common is a desire to be useful. I have yet to meet a person whose aim in life was to be useless! Most people want to do something meaningful and significant in their life. They want to make a difference in the world. All of this is deep inside of us, whether we’re aware of it or not and whether we respond to it or not. As humans, we are hard-wired for a purpose. It’s in our very DNA.

Continue reading “Discovering Your Life Purpose (Part 1)” →

Mark Conner General Interest, Personal Development, Science

Could You Live to 100 Years of Age? (Part 4)

100
Peter Drucker, the father of modern management, once noted that we are the first generation to have two lives – a first half and a second half. Over a hundred years ago, many people lived to only 45-50 years of age. Now, as we have seen in this series of posts, many people are living well into their 70s and 80s … and some well beyond this (100+ and 110+).  Continue reading “Could You Live to 100 Years of Age? (Part 4)” →

Mark Conner Food and Drink, General Interest, Personal Development, Science

Could You Live to 100 Years of Age? (Part 3)

Will-you-live-to-be-100-kda-consulting-header
In part 4 and 5 of this series of posts on the possibility of living to 100, we will look at what longevity could mean for our lives. What does a life of significance, rather than mere success, look like? How do we break free from the conventional view of the three-stage life: education, vocation, and then retirement?  Continue reading “Could You Live to 100 Years of Age? (Part 3)” →

Mark Conner General Interest, Personal Development, Science

Could You Live to 100 Years of Age? (Part 1)

Will-you-live-to-be-100-kda-consulting-header

One of the best gifts you can give those you love is to live a long life, Yes, why not plan to be around for a while. Of course, none of us control the number of our days nor do we know how long we will live. But there are things we can do that are within our power that can add to the possibility of a longer … and a healthier life.

Continue reading “Could You Live to 100 Years of Age? (Part 1)” →

Mark Conner General Interest, Personal Development

Beware: Impulse Buying!

Salesssss

I remember early on in our marriage shopping for a new BBQ. The store had a sale on so I bought not only a whiz bang BBQ but also a heap of extras to go with it. In the end, I had overspent and busted our budget plans. It took a few months to recover from that impulse buying spree. Nowadays, when Nicole and I are discussing a possible purchase we will often say to each other, “Let’s not do another BBQs galore!” Continue reading “Beware: Impulse Buying!” →

Mark Conner Personal Development

The Mystery of our Emotions (Part 1)

Inside
Emotions. 
Feelings. 
Difficult things to understand … at least for me.  
 
I wouldn’t describe myself as an emotional person while growing up, although I would easily tear up while watching a movie that had anything to do with family. I am an Achiever type. Head down, suck it up, tough it out, get on with it, do what needs to be done … regardless of how you feel. There are many things we do in spite of our feelings not because we necessarily feel like doing them. 
 
As I have grown older, I have learnt to get more in touch with my feelings. Some counselling has helped. Counsellors have a way of drawing out what is deep inside, getting us to talk about our lives and the affect of circumstances that we have navigated through. 
 
Journalling has also helped me. One of the regular questions I ask myself is, “How do I feel?” It forces me to get in touch with the more subjective part of my psyche. By externalising my feelings, I can think about them and reflect on them, which helps me to gain greater understanding of myself.
 
During any given day, we will probably experience a range of emotions – joy, boredom, sadness, annoyance, anger, resentment, jealousy, doubt and disappointment, just to name a few. This is all part of what it means to be human. It’s normal to feel. 
 
Feelings are indicators of what is happening on the inside of us. Although they are not meant to control us, they are there to serve us by getting our attention about what is going on beneath the surface of our lives. Even negative emotions have a place. If a red light comes on somewhere on the dashboard of your car don’t smash it with a hammer and say, “I rebuke you, you negative thing!” No, the red light is your friend. It is getting your attention that something under the bonnet needs looking at. 
 
Not all emotions need fixing. Just let them be. Don’t judge them so quickly. Feel them fully and deeply. Often they simply pass on, like the weather, if we give them time. 
 
 
What are you feeling now? This too shall pass.