Category: Think About It

Have you had a conflict lately?

When we are hurt by other people we all respond differently. 

David W. Johnson, author of Human Relations and Your Career, has identified five styles of conflict resolution:

1. Some people are like teddy bears. They keep the peace at all costs, even if it means giving up what they think or want.

2. Other people are like turtles. They withdraw when conflict comes and they avoid it at all costs.

3. Other people are like sharks. They respond to conflict by going on the attack, seeking to win at all costs. They often get their way as others withdraw from their assault, but they make few friends. 

4. Other people are like owls. They are very wise. They respond to conflict calmly and firmly. They do not run from it, nor do they go on the attack. They listen to the other person’s point of view. They put their case forward firmly and calmly and they seek to satisfy both their goals and the goals of the other party. Their aim is always to maintain the relationship. 

5. Other people are like the fox. Foxes are clever or skilful managers of conflict. They’ve discovered that always responding like a teddy bear, a turtle, a shark, or even an owl is not the answer. Different situations call for different responses. Sometimes it is best to be a teddy bear and give in to save the relationship; sometimes it is best to be a turtle and sidestep the problem, thus avoiding any conflict; sometimes it is right to be a little bit shark-like and to get angry and say a firm no; and sometimes what is needed is to be an owl. Sometimes a compromise is best.

Why don’t you see if you can resolve the conflicts in your world!

Conflict … Think about it.

Have you ever been on a long drive interstate that took a few days? One of the things I hate to do is stop for petrol. Do you know why? It’s because all of those semi-trailers, caravans, and slow pokes that I have meticulously passed are all going to pass me while I am filling up! Now, that’s annoying. I wish someone would invent a way to fill up without having to stop.

But the truth is that unless you stop and refuel you’re not going to make it. You are going to stall and be stuck by the side of the road. That’s even more annoying!

I find life is a bit like that. There is so much to do, so many people to see and so many places to go. We all get very busy and if we’re not careful we can begin burn out.

We all need to learn what it is to STOP … and to refuel … physically, emotionally, and even spiritually.

How’s your journey at the moment? Are you going strong or are you running on empty?

What do you need to do to refuel? What kind of activities fill you up and give you energy for life? Make sure you take time for those things.

Refuel … think about it.

Every one of us experiences something we could call “the grandstand affect.” From a very young age, we have people watching us and responding to our choices and actions. If we do something that people like, they cheer us on. If we do something that people dislike, they frown at us or they may even boo us.

Over time, we can easily learn to play to the grandstand. We thrive on the applause so we seek to please people. We hate disapproval, so we try not to disappoint anybody.

The danger with this is that we can become addicted to the approval of others. Then when we need to make a choice that others may not approve of, we have no courage to do what we know is right.

Maturity requires us to gradually empty our grandstand. Parents, teachers, and other leaders are important people in our life and it is good to have them on the field as coaches and advisors … but we must not live for their approval.

The only person we want to leave in our grandstand is God. Live your life for the audience of One.

Think about it.

Have you ever been to a really bad movie? I’m sure you have. Did you go see it again? Of course not! Did you buy the DVD? Come on … Why would you watch through something you didn’t like all over again! That would be silly.

But in reality that’s something we all do from time to time. Have you ever done something you regretted? Have you ever had someone really hurt you? Did you find yourself replaying it over and over again in your mind? Some people even replay it in high definition … in surround sound … and even in slow motion! In doing so, they relive all of the negative emotions and bring the hurtful situation to life all over again.

Don’t do that. Don’t live in the past. Don’t replay things that you regret or things that were hurtful. Forgive yourself and forgive others … then move on. Don’t live in the past. Don’t relive the pain. You can let go. Yes, it was bad. Yes, it was wrong … but you don’t have to replay it over and over again. Focus on today … and what’s coming in the future.

Move on – think about it.

 

There is an old poem that goes like this …

       

Sow a thought, reap an act; Sow an act, reap a habit; Sow a habit, reap a character; Sow a character, reap a destiny

Your life is shaped by your thoughts. Ultimately, you become what you think about. Life is lived ‘inside out’. It’s not what happens to you but how you respond to it that is the determining factor in your life. Your response to everything is based on what and how you think about what is happening to you.

How do you change? By renewing or reprogramming your thinking. If you can change your thinking you can change your life.

The real challenge today is in our mind. We have to tear down strongholds of faulty thinking. We have to give diligent attention to every thought that comes our way – knowing its potential.

What are you thinking about right now? What occupies your attention most of the time? What is the focus of your thoughts? This will determine your direction in life. Are you happy with where you’re headed? Or do you need to make a change? It all starts with your thoughts.

Think about it.

Every room has an atmosphere – it includes factors such as the temperature of the room, the lighting, and the freshness of the air – or the lack of it. In the same way, every group – whether it’s a team or a family – has an atmosphere. It describes what it feels like to be a part of that group of people. This atmosphere is a combination of the moods and attitudes of the people in the group.

Learn to be aware of your moods – what they are and what may be contributing to them – and then seek to control them. Your moods directly affect the atmosphere wherever you are – for better or worse.

Don’t be a thermometer – which is a reactive instrument that goes up and down based on the external environment. Be a thermostat – an instrument that directly affects the atmosphere. If things are a bit heated, you help to cool them down. If things are a bit cool – then you do your best to warm them up a little.

This is especially important for leaders because leaders set the relational temperature of every group that they lead.

Atmosphere – think about it.

Every human being has desires on the inside of them – longings for acceptance, for approval, for a sense of identity, for a sense of belonging, for significance and for a sense of purpose in life.

Where do these longings come from? Are they merely a “wish projection” or could they indicate that there is something outside of ourselves that we were created for … just like the presence of thirst indicates that there is something called water?

History shows us that we will do anything to try to fulfill these desires on the inside of us.

One man tried everything and summarized his experience in a prayer, “O God, our hearts are restless until they rest in thee.” His name is St Augustine.

Could it be that there is a God who is not only our Creator but who also longs to be our Father too? A God who desires for us to be his child?

I pray that God will fill your heart with his love today … helping you to find the acceptance, the security, the significance and the purpose you long for … in Him.

Longings … think about it. 

Looking for some short inspirational thoughts for the day?

I have a host of them available for you. These are transcripts of some 60 second spots I have done for LIGHT FM, one of Melbourne's best radio stations, growing in popularity every year, with a broad audience of listeners.

Think about it …

Click here to begin.

Jesus told us that the two greatest commandments are to (1) love God with all of our heart, soul, mind and strength and (2) to love our neighbor as ourself. Life truly is all about loving God and loving people.

Of course, our love is simply a response of God’s love for us. We love Him, and others, because He first loved us. As we receive God’s love, we can begin to accept ourselves, even in our imperfect and frail state. This then enables us to love others … as ourselves. 

Unfortunately, many people struggle to love others because in reality they hate themselves and have no love inside to give out freely to others. Unless we know that WE are loved, we will find it difficult to truly love others. 

2,000 years of religious tradition have imbedded in us the mistaken belief that God’s love is something we earn. Giving that up isn’t easy.

Religion is all about what we have to DO to earn our way to God. Christianity is totally different. It’s all about what Jesus Christ has already DONE for us.

Now, that’s good news! … think about it.

The Gospel writers tell us that after Jesus was baptized in water the Spirit descended on him in the form of a dove and a voice from heaven said, “You are my Son, whom I love; with you I am well pleased.” Jesus knew that his Father loved him.

As you go through your day, what voices do you hear? What are they saying to you? Many people hear voices that tell them they aren’t good enough, that they are a problem, a burden or even a failure.

What would it look like for you to start to hear a different voice … a voice that says, “You are my son … or my daughter … whom I love; with you I am well pleased.” A voice that says, “I created you in your mother’s womb. I love you with an everlasting love. I have a purpose and plan for your life. I want to give you a future and a hope.”

Sometimes the negative voices are so loud and persistent that they can drown out the soft, gentle whisper of God’s voice.

What voice are you listening to today? … think about it. 

Many years ago, a man living in an insane asylum died and was carried to his grave. When they were cleaning out his room they found some words written on the patient’s wall. This is what he had written …

    Could we with ink the ocean fill

    And were the skies of parchment made

    Were every stalk on earth a quill    

    And every man a scribe by trade

    To write the love of God above

    Would drain the ocean dry

    Nor could the scroll contain the whole

    Though stretched from sky to sky

These amazing words were eventually incorporated as a verse in a well-known hymn about the love of God.

It is one thing to know that “God is love” and quite another to know that God loves you. If you could only grasp how much God loves you, it could change your life … and provide a strong foundation for you to have what it takes to truly love others.

The question I’d like to ask you today is not, “How much do you love God?” … but “Do you realize how much God loves you?”

God’s love … think about it.

Someone once said that trust in the glue of all relationships. Trust holds things together. In contrast, when there is no trust, the relationship starts to break down.

Trust creates confidence and removes suspicion and fear. When trust is high in a relationship, you could say the wrong thing and it will be okay. People give you the benefit of the doubt. Where trust is low, you could say the right thing and even then, people take you wrong or misinterpret you.

How do we build trust?

• Trust starts with being trustworthy.
• Be transparent – open, real and genuine.  Don’t be fake or two-faced. Don’t wear masks.
• Have the courage to speak the truth in love.
• Treat people with respect, as you would want to be treated.
• Admit it when you are wrong and be big enough to apologize.
• Be loyal and avoid gossip. Integrity is how we treat those who are not present.
• Keep your commitments and your word.
• Restore trust when it has been lost.
• Be quick to forgive.

How is the level of trust in your relationships?

Trust… think about it.

If you think about it, the entire population of the world, with one exception, is composed of OTHERS.

What would life look like if we stopped seeking to get everyone else to revolve around US and started taking OTHER people’s needs and interests as our first concern. That would be pretty counter-cultural in a world that tells us to “Look out for number 1!”

What kind of a world are we creating when everyone wants everything and everyone to orbit around them? When people do things and give affection to others, only as long as it helps meet his or her personal goals and needs, nobody gets anywhere. Life becomes hazardous.

What would it look like if today we each made a move – away from self-centered living towards self-giving love … for OTHERS. What if we all focused on accepting, serving, giving to, seeking the welfare of, and honoring others? What a different world it would be!

Okay, I can hear some of you thinking, “What about me? It isn’t fair …” Well, the truth is, that it is often in giving that we also receive.

Others … think about it. 

The apostle John boldly declares that, “God is love.” He doesn’t say that God is loving, although that is true OR that one of God’s activities is love, although that is true too. He says that God IS love – it is the very core of his being and nature.

The Christian God is revealed as one God existing as three persons – the Father, the Son and the Holy Spirit – a Trinity.

Think about it … If there is NO God, then we are here by blind chance, merely a result of natural selection and love is nothing more than a chemical reaction in our brain.

If God exists but is only ONE, then he cannot be love because love can only exist in a relationship.

But if God exists as a community of persons knowing and loving one another, then the ultimate reality in the universe is love relationships – three persons in a dynamic, pulsating activity, a life that could be described as a dance.

The Trinity is not just a nice theological concept. I believe it is a model or prototype for human relationships.   

The Trinity … think about it.